Defiance Rising (38 page)

“I’m fine,” I hedge.

For the first time, he breaks his gaze with the fire to stare at me.
 
“I know you’re not.
 
I saw it in your face earlier.
 
You looked panicked.
 
What aren’t you telling us?”

I sigh, running my hands through my hair.
 
“My powers are gone.”

“Gone?
 
As in forever, gone?”

I shrug.
 
“I don’t know.
 
I overdid it today.
 
If I hadn’t been able to draw from Aminah’s powers, you would be dead right now.”

“That’s why you passed out,” he whispers, watching me very closely.
 
“How do you feel?”

I turn to look at him.
 
“Empty.
 
Like there’s a huge part of me that is missing.”

His jaw clenches as he turns back to the fire.
 
“Maybe it’s for the best then.”

“What is?”

“Eamon has talked the others into leaving you behind when we attack tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I gasp.
 
“Do we have enough guns?
 
Enough men?”

“You don’t remember anything, do you?”
 
I blink, confused.
 
“You had a vision while you were passed out.
 
Aminah read your thoughts and deciphered Kyan’s location.
 
He’s in the heart of the City, right in front of the Shard.
 
That’s where he will be at noon tomorrow.”

“Why?”

Bastien closes his eyes.
 
“He’s bait…for you.”

“Me?”
 
I lean back, shocked but at the same time not the least bit surprised Drakon would stoop this low.
 
“We have to save him.”

“We will.”

I stare at him, zeroing in on the inflection in his voice.
 
“Why do I get the feeling I’m not included in these plans?”

“Because you’re not.
 
I’m sorry.”
 
He tosses a branch onto the fire and watches as the sparks rise into the air.
 
“I was overruled.”

“But that’s not fair!
 
Kyan needs me.
 
I can’t just leave him there.”

Bastien glances over at me.
 
“You said it yourself, you’re powers are gone.
 
Who knows if it’s temporary or permanent.
 
Eamon will never let you go.”
 
He rises from his log, pausing beside me.
 
“I truly am sorry.
 
I know this is a fight with your name written all over it.”

I kick at the edge of the fire, wishing I had something more substantial to hit.
 
“Take me with you.”

“What?”
 
He turns back.

“I don’t have to fight.
 
I just…I need to be there.”

Bastien hesitates just outside the ring of firelight.
 
I can tell he’s mulling it over.
 
“Goodnight, Illyria.”

He disappears into the dark, leaving me alone.
 
I sit and stare at the dwindling fire, embracing the cold that seeps through my clothes and surrounds my heart, filling the empty recesses of my mind.
 
It reminds me that I’m still alive.

When the sun begins to rise on the eastern horizon, I rise and return to Eamon’s side.
 
I stand over him, watching as he stirs.
 
He hand searches the ground for me.
 
He jerks upright, blinking against the blinding orange sunlight until he focuses on me.

“Illyria?
 
Are you alright?”

“That depends.”
 
I let my arms unfold and sink down onto a small stump.
 
“I heard about your how decision to leave my behind was nearly unanimous.”

“Now hold on,” he begins, tucking his legs under.
 
“You know that I’m doing this for your own good.”

“I do and that is what infuriates me, Eamon.
 
Since when have I ever been able to sit out of a fight?”

He shifts uncomfortably.
 
“I’m a hunter.
 
I always have been.
 
With or without my abilities I can still fight.
 
You know I will take out any Caldonian that crosses my path.”

“And Drakon?
 
What will you do when he captures you, because that is obviously the reason for this ruse.”

I look down, unable to meet his fiery glare.
 
“I don’t know, but I have to get Kyan back.
 
He’s the only one holding me together right now.
 
If I lose him…”

“Exactly.”
 
He shifts onto his knees and walks toward me, placing his hands on either side of me.
 
“This isn’t a normal fight anymore, Illyria.
 
The stakes are too high.
 
Never before have you been in such grave danger.”

He reaches up and runs his fingers along my cheek, slowly, tenderly.
 
“You know I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.”

I close my eyes and release a heavy sigh.
 
“So what am I supposed to do, sit around here and wait to hear if you’re still alive?
 
What about Aminah and Toren?”
 
I make sure to leave off Bastien.

His hand moves around to cup the back of my neck, pulling me close as he rests his forehead against mine.
 
“I know this is a terrible thing to ask of you, but it’s for the best.
 
I have to know that you are safe.”

Eamon’s gaze searches mine as he lowers his head, hesitating before kissing me.
 
I want to pull back, to let him see the full brunt of my frustration, but I can’t do that, knowing this might be the last time I see him.

I lean into his kiss and close my eyes so he doesn’t see what this moment costs me.
 
He envelopes me in his arms and I give in, praying I don’t go to whatever hell my mother believed in because of this betrayal.

He pulls back and smiles down at me.
 
“Thank you for understanding.”

“Of course,” I smile, feeling a part of my heart shatter.
 
As much as I love Eamon, I know that whatever the future holds for us, he will never truly stop trying to change me.
 
I suppose a part of me should be grateful that he cares enough to want to protect me, but I’m not.
 
A warrior never wants to be treated like a child.

Eamon kisses my nose and releases me, standing upright.
 
“I need to see Toren about our plans.
 
Will you be ok for a bit?”

“Sure,” I shrug.
 
“It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

As he disappears toward the makeshift camp, I pull my knees to my chest and rest my cheek against them.
 
A myriad of emotions spiral through me, most of them potent enough to create any number of natural disasters.
 
Perhaps it is a good thing my abilities are lost to me.

I stare out into the woods, watching brilliant shades of red splash across the sky, chasing the shadows from the woods.
 
The forest is quiet today, as if even the animals know an epic battle is about to begin without me.

Illyria…

My spine jerks straight.
 
Kyan?

I don’t have much time.
 
He will know I’ve spoken to you.

Then don’t!
 
I cry back, remembering his torture from the day before.

I must.
 
You need to know…
his voice trails off.

Kyan?

A scream pierces through my mind, sending me tumbling off the log.
 
Kyan!

Not gone. Powers…
his words are cut off by a blood-curdling cry and then only silence resounds in my mind. The silence is a million times more terrifying than his shrieks.
 
Is he still alive or have I just heard Kyan’s death?

I roll to the side as I lose the contents of my stomach into the low brush.
 
I have no idea how one man can endure such terrible torture.

I call repeatedly, but never feel the touch of his mind.
 
Terrified for my friend, I stumble into camp in search of Bastien.
 
He is the only one who might still be able to help me.

Thirty-Two

People scurry past, each one prepping to dismantle camp and head toward the City.
 
I watch the flurry of activity from the sidelines, desperately searching for any sign of Bastien but he appears to have vanished.
 

Zahra offers me a half-hearted farewell before heading to join the men.
 
Toren gives me an awkward hug before stepping back to allow Aminah a turn.
 
She wipes tears from her eyes as she clutches me in a hug.
 
“Please don’t do anything rash while we are gone.”

“You know me.
 
I love being grounded.”
 
I try to smile, but it falls flat.

She pulls me to her again, squeezing me with more strength than I knew she possessed.
 
Maybe she isn’t as frail as everyone thinks.
 
“He’s not here,” she whispers into my ear.
 
“Toren sent him away early this morning to scout ahead.”

My shoulders droop with disappointment and something more, something visceral.
 
“I understand.”

She pulls back and gives me a knowing smile.
 
“He’s the best fighter we have.
 
Bastien will be fine.”

I nod and step away.
 
“Take care of everyone,” I call to Toren.
 

He nods with grim determination.
 
“I will do my best.”

“I know.”

Toren pulls Aminah away as Eamon approaches.
 
He has changed into new clothes to match the other Caldonians.
 
Unlike Zahra and Aminah, Eamon is on the front lines and must look the part.
 
Fear clutches my heart thinking of the numerous ways this could go wrong for him.
 
What if he is mistaken for being on the wrong side?
 
What if our own men shoot him by accident?

“Hey,” he says, stepping up to wrap me in his arms.
 
This time I allow my tears to fall unashamedly.
 
“It’s going to be ok.”

I try to nod but he’s squeezing me so tight to him I can barely move.
 
“I know.”

My feet lift off the ground as he whirls me around like a little girl.
 
When he sets me down, he grins as he kisses my cheek.
 
“I’ll be careful.
 
I promise.
 
You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

His goodbye kiss is brief, but filled with loving promise.
 
I wish I could fully return the sentiment but he slips from my hands, waving a farewell as he disappears into the trees.

I read doubt and no small amount of fear on each of the faces that pass by.
 
They are gravely outnumbered and their best weapon is being forced to stay behind, a broken tool that is no longer useful.
 

It doesn’t take long for the noise of their passing to fade.
 
Their hike to the City will take a couple hours from here.
 
Toren will help to lead them at a quick pace, slowing only at the end to help conserve their energy for the fight.
 

From my crazed ranting, while I was unconscious, they deduced that Kyan’s execution is set for noon.
 
They know a location and a time, but are unsure of the means.
 
All they know is that it will be public.

Time slows, inching ahead at a snail’s pace.
 
As the sun begins to climb the morning sky, I sink to the ground, fully prepared to wallow in self-pity for the remainder of the morning.

“I hate this!” I scream, launching a rock at a tree.
 
I feel only a small amount of pleasure as it carves a notch out of the bark.

“Still got your temper, I see,” a voice calls from behind.
 

Startled, I spin around and come face to face with Bastien, who leans lazily against a tree.
 
“But I thought…”

“You thought I left without saying goodbye.”
 
He walks directly up to me.
 
I nod, speechless by his sudden appearance.
 
“To be honest, I did consider that.
 
I spent most of the night fighting with myself.
 
In the end, I convinced myself that I could go through with it.
 
Apparently, I was wrong.”

I look away, desperate for him to not see how glad I am by his weakness for me.
 
“You’re not supposed to be here.
 
Toren needs you.”

“I did my job and once I’m done here I’ll catch back up.”
 
His smile captures my heart all over again, just like the night he pulled me from the lake.
  

Through the weeks of separation from him, I have learned one thinglove can survive anything.
 
It is invincible.
 
Nothing can stop it.
 

I know, within the very fibers of my being, that I am meant to be with Bastien.
 
I have never doubted it, but what I want most in life doesn’t seem to matter.

“Why are you here?” I ask.

“You didn’t think I was going to let them leave you here, did you?”
 
I suck in a breath as he grins down at me, offering me his hand.
  

“Are you serious?”
 
I curl my fingers around his hand and he pulls me upright.
 
I try not to focus on the warmth of his body when I stumble against him, as pins and needles prick my calves from sitting in one position for too long.
 
He wraps his arm around me back, steadying me until I regain control.

“You’re a fighter, Illyria, and fighters tend to do stupid things when they are left behind.
 
Eamon might not realize that but I do, so I’m taking you with me.
 
I’ll leave you on a rooftop on the outskirts of downtown.
 
You’ll be safe there as long as you keep your head low.”

I grin, instantly falling in love with his plan and him all over again.
 
“Thank you…for understanding.”

He reaches out and gently runs his finger along my jaw.
 
He opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of it.
 
Clearing his throat, he turns and looks to the sun.
 
It is almost noon.
 
“The battle starts in less than an hour.
 
We will have to hurry.”

“But the City is miles from here.
 
I won’t be able to keep up with you now that my abilities are gone.”
 
Not gone…
Kyan’s words echo through my mind.

“Not a problem,” he grins, lifting my arms to twine around his neck.
 
“We’re going to fly.”

“Fly?”
 
My mouth gapes open with shock.
 
“So
that’s
what you being doing in the woods all this time!”

His grin widens.
 
“I had a lot of free time on my hands so when Kyan said that was the natural progression of my abilities, I decided to perfect it.”

“And did you?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”
 
He wraps his arm tightly around my back. His flame-blue eyes darken to deep sapphire as I mold my body around his.
 
His jaw tenses as I close my eyes to the desire rising within.
 
To be this close and not be able to really touch him is unbearable.
 

When I open my eyes, he clears his throat and cracks a smile that doesn’t quite quench the fires I can see burning in his eyes.
 
“I know this will be nearly impossible for you, but I must insist on a no groping policy during the flight.”

I laugh.
 
“Nice to see the old you peeking through.”

His smile falters.
 
I could kick myself for bringing up the past.
 
“Sorry,” I mutter.

“No, it’s fine.”
 
I brace myself as he crouches low and shoots straight into the sky.
 
His take off is smooth and effortless.
 
“Show off.”

Bastien looks pleased, but quickly turns away.
 
I close my eyes against the biting winds, imagining how wonderful this would feel on a warm spring day.
 

“Open your eyes,” he whispers.

When I do, I gasp, realizing we are soaring only a couple feet over the treetops.
 
If I were to stretch my fingers out I would be able to touch them.
 
“This is amazing!”

Bastien grins.
 
His cheeks are flushed from the thrill of being in the air.
 
“I know.
 
I never get used to it.”

“Shouldn’t you be looking where you’re going?”
 
I tease as he returns his focus to the tree line.
 
“I’m not sure it’s safe to fly with you.”

Rumbling laughter vibrates through his chest into mine.
 
“I thought you liked danger.”

“You know I do!”
 
I spread out my arms and soar like a bird, arching my back so the tips of my hair slap against the treetops.
 
It is exhilaratingly freeing.
 
I wish this would never end.

We dip with the curve of the mountain, following a straight line toward the far horizon where I can just spy the tip of the Shard tower.
 
“What happened to you the other night?” I ask.

He grimaces.
 
“I’m sorry.
 
I needed time to think…”

“Not that.”
 
I pull my arms back in and focus on Bastien’s profile.
 
His hair whips around his face, no longer in long strands.
 
I find that I actually miss the rugged style.
 
“Who attacked you with a knife?”

The skin around his eyes pinch as the fresh memories of pain washes over him.
 
“You don’t miss anything do you?”

“Not when it comes to you,” I whisper.

His voice sounds strangled when he speaks.
 
“After the fight with Eamon, I took off.
 
I couldn’t stick around and watch…” he trails off.
 
“Anyways, I landed somewhere halfway between here and the City.
 
I paced all night, trying to figure out how to apologize to you.”

“But you didn’t have to.”
 
I place a hand on his chest and he breathes out a heavy sigh.

“I should never have let him bait me.
 
It was my fault you were hurt.
 
I should have just let him hit me.”

“No,” I shake my head, spluttering as great clumps of hair are blown into my mouth.
 
I pull them free.
 
“I don’t blame you, Bastien.
 
I never did.”

He nods but stares straight ahead.
 
“I was on my way back when I was jumped in the woods.
 
I didn’t even see it coming.”

“But Drakon’s men use lasers, not knives.”

Bastien nods.
 
“Apparently he has some new recruits.”

“So he’s rounding up mercenaries too now?” I mutter.”

“There were only five of them.
 
They wore tattered clothes with a three moons emblem cloth tied around their arms.
 
The one holding the knife bested me before I even knew he was there.”

“I didn’t think that was possible.” I frown.

Bastien winces.
 
“I should’ve been more careful.
 
I knew Drakon’s men were on the move.
 
I shouldn’t have left.”

I squeeze his arm.
 
“You did what you had to do.
 
No one would fault you for that.”

“The families of the men lost at the camp back there might,” he mutters.

“They would have found us eventually.
 
This wasn’t your fault.”

“I wish you’d stop saying that,” he growls.
 
He dips low, sweeping down into the final canyon before the straight shot into the City.
 
From this height, I can spy the glistening waters of the lake where he saved me.