Defending My Mobster (BWWM Romance) (18 page)

But apparently he just didn’t want to.

Aaron suddenly put his hand on mine. I blinked and looked up at him.

“We’re not going to be here much longer, you know,” he said softly. I slowly slid my hand from underneath his. He’d probably meant it in a reassuring way, but I felt caged in, suddenly.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about me,” I said, forcing a smile. “It’s always good to be reminded where you came from.”

“You’ve just been so distracted since we came. You look like you’re haunted by things that I can’t even see.”

“Aaron—“ I said but he interrupted me.

“I talked to Larry. You can be on the first flight home tomorrow, if you want that.”

“You did what?” I was ready to give him a piece of my mind.

He held up his hands when he saw my face. “Now before you get mad at me, I didn’t say you couldn’t do it or anything. I just told him that it’s not necessary for you to be here, I can deal with it. You know he’d much rather have you in the office if he could, or on some other case.”

I closed my mouth and looked at him. Did I want to argue about this? It was a way out, wasn’t it? I could get away from here, away from Noah and Vanessa, who he obviously chose over me. I could get away from all the ghosts of memories and the people that haven’t aged well since I last saw them.

It would also mean that I wouldn’t get my recognition. Larry was a stingy man. If I didn’t deserve my raise, I didn’t get it. And my definition of ‘deserve’ wasn’t the same as his definition. To him you had to sacrifice everything short of your life to get what you wanted.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked. Aaron was a friend, yes, but he was a colleague. He was one of the partners of Findley and Monroe. There was very little that was more important to him than business.

“Because I feel for you. I can actually see what this is doing to you, and that’s saying something. You’re known for your iron mask.”

It was true. In the business world they said that about me. Tamika Davis, the woman no one could read. Made of cold hard metal, incapable of emotions. It was only the few people like Aaron and Carrie who knew I had a breaking point somewhere inside all my armor.

I sighed.

“Just think about it, okay? If there’s one person that knows that work can ruin your life, it’s me.”

I knew what he was talking about. Aaron had had a family once upon a time. A wife and a beautiful baby boy. He’d buried himself in work, trying to get the company started, and he’d lost her. Now he only saw his son over holidays, like Christmas and Easter.

When we arrived back at the ranch after lunch, Vanessa was on the porch, cellphone against her ear. She ignored us when we got out of the truck. She hung up as we reached her on the porch.

“And?” she said.

“And what, Miss Bloom?” Aaron asked.

“Have you found his will yet?”

“We’ve found almost everything under the sun, ma’am, but not that.”

She groaned and looked at her phone screen. “This is ridiculous.”

Her phone rang again as we walked into the house. I could hear her shrill voice talk into the speaker, following me down that passage all the way to the office.

“That would be really great, Noah,” she was saying. “You have no idea what this means to me… Sure, I’ll be there… I love you.”

I closed the office door. Something inside me felt like it had cracked. I steeled myself, pushing it all away. I had work to do. I could cry about lost loves and replacements later.

***

By the time we reached the hotel it was almost eleven. I dropped my briefcase inside the door and stepped out of my shoes, stretching my toes against the stocking-feet.

“That was a nightmare,” Aaron said, taking off his blazer. “I’ll take a day in court any day.”

And I knew how much he hated those. He opened the small fridge and pulled out a beer. “Thank god they stock these right,” he said. I walked over to him, and he handed me one too. I didn’t often drink beer anymore, but tonight I would make an exception.

“Another day like that and I’m not going to make it,” I said. I sat down on the edge of the bed. Aaron sat down next to me and the mattress dipped under his weight. We sat together in companionable silence for a while.

“So, Noah, huh?” he asked. I snapped my head around to look at him.

“What?”

“It’s not hard to see that he was the one you were talking about. You’re more uptight around him than anyone I’ve ever seen you around, and that includes Larry and Miss Monroe.” Danielle Monroe, Aaron’s partner, was a model-type woman with a body to die for and business savvy that overrode any sense of morality. I didn’t like her business ethic on principle, and personally I disliked her even more because I would never feel like a real woman next to her. In comparison I was short and stubby, with dull hair and outdated clothes. In any other circumstance I felt like I was good enough. I liked my body, I had personal style, and I killed at my job.

I sighed. “It’s not exactly fair to compare Danielle to Noah,” I said.

“Maybe. But I think you’re more scared of what he might say to you, than you are of her.”

I looked at him. His dark hair was a styled mess. He had a four o’clock shadow across his face, and his brown eyes twinkled like he was on the verge of a smile. The beer bottle was cold in my hand, and it felt like the alcohol fizzed through my blood, making me lightheaded. I wondered how Aaron managed to take everything in his stride. I hardly drank so I couldn’t hold my alcohol, and here he was just as tired as I was, looking like he just stepped off the cover of a business magazine. And after a long day filled with chaos, he’d still managed to notice Noah and my history with him, somehow. I guess as a lawyer it was his job not to miss anything.

His eyes travelled down to my lips, and I was aware of how tan his skin was. It was almost as dark as mine, but his was in a Latino kind of way. The beer in my system made my reaction slow, and the next thing I knew his lips were on mine.

They were firm and hard. They knew what they wanted. I froze, unsure of what to do. I hadn’t been kissed by a man in a while. I could taste the beer on his lips, lacing his breath. Slowly he dragged his tongue across my lower lip, asking me to open my mouth. And I did because I had no real reason not to.

His tongue swirled lazily around mine, making tiny circles, guiding me and leading me all at the same time. His hand came up and he cupped my cheek, fingers against the smooth hair that almost touched my shoulder.

I pulled my head away.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” I said. He didn’t look hurt or rejected. He looked calm and confident, and I wondered why I was the one that felt like everything was slightly skewed when I was the one that should have been in control.

“Look, Tamika. I know we work together, but we’re not in the same firm. I’ve known you for a long time. You’re a powerful woman. You’re great at what you do, and I really care for you. I don’t see why we can’t do this.” He smiled at me. “I really like you. You’re one of a kind, and in my world that doesn’t just happen.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. My hesitation was enough for Aaron to pull me in again, and because I couldn’t calculate a reason why I should stop him in my sluggish mind, I kissed him back, instead.

His hand slid onto my neck and then my shoulder. His thumb traced my collarbone. I held onto that beer bottle like my life depended on it. My head felt light and airy, and I felt dizzy. The atmosphere in the room was thick.

Aaron slid his hand even further down, onto my breast. He cupped it, and slowly massaged it in a circle. My body responded, slowly, like I was waking up from a deep sleep. But it was there. The twinge between my legs. The heat in my stomach. My nipple hardening, straining against my bra.

Aaron leaned down without breaking the kiss, and put his beer on the carpet. Ever talented. He pushed gently against me with the hand on my breast, guiding my body with the other hand now, and lay me on my back on the bed. His body rolled against mine, and it was as muscled and hard as it looked through his starched shirts all the time. He was a lot of man, neat and masculine.

I sighed shakily against his lips. I tentatively touched his chest, and I could feel his rippling muscle underneath his shirt. It felt foreign to my fingertips, like when you’re used to a particular brand of toothpaste and then you use something else. But his skin was warm, and his other hand was behind my neck. His hips ground into mine, and I could feel how hard he was.

An image of Noah flashed in front of me. He was much younger, his blond hair too long, his green eyes smiling at me. How many nights had we spent together in his small bedroom? Or under the stars between the trees behind my parents’ house? How many times had my fingers traced the lines of his body, and found that his body answered a question I didn’t know I’d been asking?

“Aaron,” I said, snapping myself back to the present and breaking the kiss. His hand on breast stopped but he didn’t take it away.

“I can’t do this,” I said, looking up at him. I swallowed and took a breath to steady myself.

He sighed, and rolled away from me, lying on his back next to me. “You can’t? Or you don’t want to?”

I thought about it for a moment. I couldn’t kiss one man when I was thinking about another. It wasn’t fair to him. I couldn’t even think of him as more than a friend and a work colleague. He’d been a pillar in my life since I’d arrived in Lafayette, a scared girl, barely an adult, with a past that scared me and an emptiness where there should have been a life inside of me. Aaron had arranged the job with Witmark because he’d seen my talent. He was my savior, but I didn’t know if he could be that again, now. Like this.

“I don’t know,” I finally said.

Aaron nodded, and got up. I pushed myself up so I was sitting on the bed.

“I really appreciate that you spoke to Larry,” I said. I didn’t exactly appreciate it, I would much rather have controlled my own life, but I understood what he was trying to do.

Aaron turned to me, leaning against the desk that was behind him now.

“What are you going to do?” he asked. I took a deep breath. After I stopped him, would it be awkward between us? Would I be able to stay? But the fact was that I was good at what I did. And I didn’t want to leave this job undone. It wasn’t in my nature to run away.

Well, not always.

And the only way I figured I would get over Noah was to face him until he just became another face in the crowd, a person that I once knew.

“I think I’ll stay,” I said.

Aaron smiled. I’d half-expected him to be disappointed about it.

“What are you smiling about?” I asked.

“I just like that you want to spend more time here. With me.”

“Aaron…” I started, because that had not been my intention at all. “You’re not mad?”

He shook his head. “I’m just glad we can still be friends,” he said, and walked to the bathroom, whistling.

Chapter 4 - Noah

Vanessa was up earlier than usual, and she made a point of fussing around the house while I was out on the ranch taking care of business. I’d let her stay over another night. She’d looked emotional and she wanted to drive to the ranch again first thing in the morning.

I didn’t like having her take care of the house. There wasn’t really anything that needed doing. I had a maid come in once a week to help with cleaning and to do the washing, and she wasn’t due until Monday. But Vanessa insisted, so I let her. I knew full well that sometimes people needed to drown themselves in work to deal with something.

When I headed back to the house around noon, Vanessa still wasn’t back. I was relieved to find the house quiet. I walked into the house, welcoming the shade, and dropped my hat on the kitchen table. I found a Dr. Pepper in the fridge and just as I cracked it open I heard Vanessa’s car stop in front of the house.

I sighed.

She stormed into the house. Her hair was disheveled like she’d driven with the windows wide open, her cheeks were flushed red and her eyes spat fire.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I couldn’t think of anything I’d done to get her this mad, but I’d been wrong before and a man had to be prepared.

“That Tamika Davis… I promise you if I didn’t know what murder did to relatives, I’d wring her neck!” I opened my mouth to speak, but she went on. “She doesn’t have any children, does she?” At the question it felt like my stomach dropped to the floor. I wobbled on my feet and sat down.