Defeat the Darkness (Hearts of Darkness) (22 page)

Kyle met Dylan in the den a minute before Jackson arrived with Salazar. Worry and questions filled him. After the men exchanged handshakes, he decided to get right to the point.

“Victor, I wanted to talk to you about my condition. After I came out of stasis—”

Jackson said, “Dude, he freaked me out.”

Kyle didn’t realize how much his change had affected the young hybrid.

“The demon shift?” Salazar asked.

Kyle and Jackson stared at each other and nodded.

“The beast is shocking. I understand.” Salazar turned to Kyle. “Did you control it?”

“Yes, but when it takes over…I-I don’t know where to begin to explain how I feel.”

“It is good you controlled it, and I’m here to help you. After Amyra changed me, I had no one to go to for advice. I regret the things I did while in my demon form to this day. Eventually, Niccolai befriended me. He took responsibility for her cruel treatment and became a mentor of sorts to me—teaching me the ways of our kind and encouraging me to return to healing. He saved my sanity and my soul.”

“Niccolai was with Amyra back then?” Kyle asked.

“He and she go back a long way.” Dylan handed Salazar a glass.

“Thank you.” Victor lifted the cognac in tribute to Dylan. “No one is sure how far back. According to Nicci, they have a very private, complicated history. Neither speaks of the other.”

“I get flashes of memories—her memories of ancient Egypt, cats, the Anubis, gold and fire.” Kyle experienced a cold chill run down his spine.

“Yes, the memories would be hers. Among the elders, there is a rumor she is a descendent of an ancient Egyptian goddess. She betrayed her first husband, the Pharaoh, for her lover, a demon god of the Underworld. The Pharaoh had her killed, buried alive—for her adultery,” Dylan said.

“Some believe it was the demon, Baphomet who returned for her and reanimated her. When she walked the earth again, she took her revenge on her husband, and every husband thereafter. She was never the same.” Salazar tapped a finger to his temple. “Here.”

“I believe some part of her demon is within me.”

“As it is within me. But you are the jaguar shifter, and the demon was once fabled to have been related to a large cat. Perhaps she is looking to find a replacement for her demon lover.”

“Not with me.” Kyle shivered. “She creeps me out—beauty or not.” There was something dead and dried up inside her. He withered in her presence.

~~~~

From his private spot in the alley, Kyle watched Shelby as she came and went from the apartment they had once shared, without her knowing he was there.

Determined to protect her, Kyle diligently practiced shifting with Salazar and Dylan, existing as a demon night stalker and a vampire infected by the bite of a black jaguar. Reluctant to destroy Shelby’s comfortable existence, he hunted in the swamps. And when he roamed the city streets, he was afraid to reveal himself. Her new relationship with Max was what she needed, and he wouldn’t stop it despite his desperate need to be with his soul mate. Kyle ignored the chronic emptiness replaced by dread—fear of what could happen if he allowed his guard to lower.

Max stepped out of Shelby’s apartment.
Oh, hell!
Kyle swore his old friend looked straight at the spot in the alley where he stood hidden by shadows.

He couldn’t know Kyle was there. The alley across from Shelby’s apartment was shaded all day by the surrounding buildings, and he purposely wore dark clothes to blend in. The alley worked to Kyle’s advantage in many ways. During the day, he could stay out of the direct sunlight, and at night, he merged in with the dark.

The garbage from the fish market hadn’t been emptied in days. The gruesome smell kept even the most desperate vagrants away. Kyle didn’t care about the smell. He could deal with the stench and mentally mask the odor. Being a vampire taught him how to control his senses, especially since he emerged from stasis and completed his training with Dylan.

He’d discovered that after Shelby returned from Guatemala, Max stayed with her most weekends. Kyle wasn’t surprised. Once he was out of the picture, he figured she’d fall back on her old friend for support. Watching them, she and Max, moving on with their lives after he’d lost his, still hurt.

His heart almost stopped when Shelby stepped out and locked the door behind her. Seeing her affected him in two different ways—conversely, like salt on an open wound or like salve to a burn. He missed being with her like the blind grieved their lost sight. The pain was a constant ache within his chest. The only time it eased at all was when he caught her scent as he watched her from the shadows. He carried a part of her with him like a phantom spirit, awake or asleep.

He shifted his position when Max glanced back at the alley again before he turned to Shelby and gathered her into his arms. What Kyle expected to be a short parting kiss good-bye was nothing of the sort.

Their relationship must have moved beyond the friendship stage. That was no brotherly kiss. By the look of things, they’d picked up where they left off in high school.

Not that he didn’t understand Max’s desire for Shelby. He’d never fooled Kyle with his big brother act anyway, and knowing that, he’d been prepared for her attraction to his best friend. Max would be good for her, and Kyle was counting on it. What he hadn’t been prepared for, were his own emotions—the feelings that gutted him when he saw them together weren’t just about Shelby. A part of him missed Max too.

The concept of losing them both hadn’t occurred to him. Now he felt the loss, and compounded with the way their emotions slammed into him, he felt like he’d been hit with a battering ram. It took all his will power not to sink to his knees. The pain was so great and ran so deep, he couldn’t watch anymore—couldn’t think clearly.

Block out everything.
During those lessons with Dylan, he learned how to set up his emotional defenses and his mental barriers. The memory of those words reminded him what to do. Once the walls were in place, the intimacy of sharing their emotions no longer bothered him.

Finally, Max released her and slowly kissed the tip of her nose. Kyle heard him offer to meet her for lunch and saw Shelby shake her head.

“I’m working through lunch. See you tonight. Gotta run.” She turned west as Max shoved his hands in his pockets and turned east. After another glance back at the alley where Kyle still stood barely breathing, Max walked off.

Kyle exhaled a small sigh of relief. Shelby was safe despite how sad she seemed as she turned and walked away. She could survive “sad.” She couldn’t survive Amyra.

Standing in the shadows and hiding from her while she walked in the sun was one more form of torture for him. Even though he couldn’t risk Shelby discovering he was back, neither could he resist the opportunity to see her again, to see with his own eyes she was okay.

If this was all he could have of her, then he’d settle for these few moments. What was best for her wasn’t going to be easy for him. What he should do is find the courage to walk away for good.

For a moment, Kyle was distracted when Shelby glanced back as if she sensed him staring at her. Wondering how much of his own sentiments he was broadcasting, he instantly shut down his senses and emotions then shrank deeper into the dark recesses of the buildings.

“What are you doing here?”

Kyle jumped when Max stepped up behind him and shoved him against the damp brick wall. His friend had only been able to overpower him because he let him. However, he had to admit he was stunned he’d been so distracted. Max had caught him off guard and managed to startle him. Kyle couldn’t afford to let that sort of thing happen again.

His inner cat growled, and he shrugged the beast back. The cat was right. Dylan would be disappointed to discover, after all his training, he’d allowed a human to sneak up on him—even his jaguar. That was a dangerous mental lapse.

He held his hands up in defeat, knowing there was no way Max could hurt him, but the fact that he saw the potential to kill in his friend’s eyes wasn’t a big shock.

“Calm down Max. I just wanted to make sure she’s all right.”

“She’s not. No thanks to you.” Max held him by his shirt with one hand, clenching his other into a fist. He vibrated with anger. “You know, I swore I’d beat the hell out of you if I saw you again. Do you have any idea what you put her through?”

“Yes. It was always for her own safety.”

“Really? You and that woman. Tell me what’s going on, Kyle. I told Shelby you’d never hurt her. Were you drugged or what?”

“Yes, I was.”

“I knew it!” Max spit the words out, shaking his head as he released Kyle’s shirt. “And so was Shelby. I tested her when she arrived. The side effects were hard on her.”

“She was in danger from the woman who runs the organization, Amyra de la Santiago. I was trying to prevent her from discovering how much Shelby meant to me so she couldn’t leverage her safety against me like she did with the boy I went in search of and his family.”

“What did she want with you? Was it drug related? A cartel?”

It would be easy enough to lie, but Kyle wouldn’t lie to Max. “There’s nothing else I can tell you.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“You’re better off not knowing. It won’t change anything and you wouldn’t believe it anyway.”

“Try me?”

Kyle frowned and shrugged. “Maybe someday.”

“At least tell me where you’re staying.”

“With a friend of a friend.”

“That’s pretty general. You working?”

Max stared him down as if he could read the honesty in his eyes.

“Yes.” Kyle nodded. “In a clinic outside of town.”

“Shelby’s volunteering over on Rampart Street. The free clinic.” Max flicked his head in the direction Shelby had gone. “I don’t like the neighborhood.”

“Neither do I. I followed her to make sure she made it to work safely the other night.”

“She walked?”

“Yes.”

“Shit, I told her to call me or take a cab if she needed a ride. She should be more careful.”

“She has a mind of her own. You should know that better than I do.”

Max sniffed the air, disgust registering on his face for the first time. “Geez, can we talk somewhere else? This smell is gonna choke me. Walk with me. I have a few minutes before I have to leave.”

Kyle directed Max out of the alley but stayed in the shade of the building. After coming out of stasis the sun didn’t bother him as it once had, but it still drained his energy. Fortunately, New Orleans was famous for being overcast.

Kyle noticed Max looking him over. “You look good. Put on some muscle mass since I last saw you, buddy. Shelby said you looked like hell when she saw you.”

“I’d been lost in the jungle for almost two weeks at the time. I was still sick. Since I’ve been back recuperating and working out, I’m feeling better.”

“She told me some pretty tall tales. I chalked it up to hallucinations. Were they?”

The question caught him off guard. “Are you falling under New Orleans’ spell, Max? All these witches and voodoo queens finally spooking you?”

Max stopped walking and shook his head. “Don’t patronize me. Her blood is fucked up. I’m a researcher. If I have questions, I gather data. I want evidence and answers, Kyle. Nothing about what happened makes sense to me. Even days later Shelby’s blood tested positive for a hallucinogen. Why would that woman drug her?”

“You should leave this alone. It’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous? Why?”

“Promise you’ll look after Shelby and I’ll stay away.”

“That’s not what she needs.” Max took Kyle’s arm when he tried to walk away. “She cried, Kyle. Sobbed like I’ve never seen.”

“Crying is better than what could have happened. What still could.”

“Not this kind of crying. You broke her, Kyle. I don’t think I can fix that.”

“You love her, and even if she doesn’t want to admit it, she still loves you. You had a thing for each other once. Why not again? You can make her forget and fix this, Max.”

“No, I can’t. I tried. Only you can.” Max shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

Kyle had never seen him look so distraught. “Trust me. I can’t,” his voice dropped to a whisper. Kyle’s demon stirred within him. One of many reasons why he couldn’t help her.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Max stepped away from him and pulled his hair off his face with his fist. He squared his shoulders before he spoke. “We slept together right after she got back—”

“I don’t need to hear this.” Kyle interrupted and backed away because hearing the truth was like taking a hard kick to the groin.

“Yes, you do, Kyle. The whole truth.”

Max had a way of convincing him when he was being completely honest. Kyle wasn’t sure he could take any more
truth
.

“She needed affirmation, and I needed to comfort her. We knew what we were doing at the time was a way of justifying our needs. Don’t get me wrong, the sex was good for both of us. Although guilt made us want to deny it later, we couldn’t. So yes, if we wanted to pick up where we left off, sex still works between us.” Max stared him straight in the eyes as he spoke and Kyle held his breath as the words sank in. Max watched him intently while Kyle struggled to hold back his emotions.