Deep in You (Phoenix #1) (7 page)

I had fully intended to take her straight home, but when we got in the car, I heard her stomach grumble loudly. I realized I had been a poor host. On top of everything else, Lily had been drugged, could have been raped and turned over to some human trafficking organization or killed, and then I had tried to starve her. Come to think of it, I was starving, too. I pulled into the nearby IHOP. Not glamorous, I know, but convenient.

Despite the gaping chasm of awkwardness between us, I found myself strangely drawn to her. She challenged me even while at her worst, and she exuded sex appeal. I wished I could read her mind, wished I knew if she regretted coming home with me. Not knowing, in itself, felt almost like a rejection, made the sex we’d had in my gym feel like it was only born out of convenience.

I cleared my throat. “What are you thinking about?”

She shook her head slightly, snapping out of it. “Oh, I’m sorry. This was a mistake.”

“What was? The restaurant?” I snorted. “I admit it wasn’t the best choice, but it was right here–”

“No, not that. All of this.” She waved her hand back and forth between us. She regretted meeting me in the first place. I was filled with self-loathing, an unusual feeling for me.

“I see…”

Lily paled, seeming to realize what she was saying. “No, I just meant…” She sighed. “Listen, I was at work yesterday when Michael–my ex–came to see me. He asked me to go talk to him in private, but I was working and told him I was busy. When he didn’t leave or say anything, I asked him if something was wrong. I looked up into his eyes and didn’t recognize him. He called me a frigid, manipulative bitch and said that we were through. He told me he was hooking up with Allison… that he’d… he’d…”

Tears streamed down her face, and she buried her face in her hands. I stared at her, at a loss for what to do.

“He’d been with her, behind my back, for weeks. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have not seen? She’d been cold to me lately, but I figured something had been eating at her. I just had no idea it could have been my boyfriend of a year that was the one doing it.”

I walked around to her side of the booth and sat next to her, wrapping my arms around her. She buried her face in my chest and shook with silent sobs. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing, just sat there and rubbed her back and arms. Inside, I seethed. The emotions shocked me. Guilt for what happened in the last eighteen hours was one thing, but I wanted to find this Michael and punch him for hurting her. She’d been through enough, damn it. I allowed myself the fantasy while I held her. He’d be standing there, and
bam!
Right in the nose. He’d collapse in a heap on the ground while I stared down with contempt and–

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I’m sure you don’t care about all this stuff.”

“I do, actually. What happened next?”

“Well, the whole office was staring at me. Allison walked in and saw us there together and sidled up next to him with a horrible look on her face. I just grabbed my purse and ran out. I may not have a job anymore.” She pulled a tissue from her purse and blew her nose. “Even if I’m not fired, how can I show my face back there?”

“Allison works there, too?”

“Yes. I went home with the intent of eating lots of ice cream and crying the night away. Tears I had plenty of, ice cream not so much. So I decided to dress up and party. Being myself was painful, being someone else for a night seemed like a better idea.”

My jaw tightened. Nobody deserved a day like that, and I knew I hadn’t helped. I pulled her to my chest and breathed in her fragrance. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I guess I have two choices: I can go back there and face them all, or I can start looking for a new job. I don’t know how I can face them. Nothing like being the center of office gossip at a gossip column, but if I don’t, I have no idea how I would make ends meet.” She sighed. “One minute I was working on the article that would land me the promotion of my dreams, and the next minute everything fell apart.”

My mind spun, trying to find a way to fix this for her, a virtual stranger to me. The only ideas I could come up with were nothing short of insanity, so I dismissed them and didn’t say a word. Luckily, my thoughts were interrupted by the waitress bringing our food before I could say anything we’d both regret.

With a pang of remorse, I left her side to sit across from her. She offered me a weak smile. “What about you? When was your last relationship?”

“I’ve never had a serious relationship.”

“What?” She dropped her fork onto her plate with a clatter.

“That surprises you?”

“Frankly, yes. I always see women with you on television during your meets.”

“Well, I suppose ‘never’ is kind of a misnomer. I had a girlfriend in middle school and the beginning of high school. That said, I’ve
never
been interested in tangling emotions with sex.”

Her face darkened. “I see.”

I frowned. “You just broke up with your boyfriend yesterday. When you left the bar with me, were you looking for a serious relationship?”

“I was drugged when I left with you,” she snarled. Her tone made me wince.

“Back to that, again? Fine. Were you looking for one when you left for the bar?”

Her shoulders slumped. “No.” Her voice was small.

“Didn’t think so. You went to that bar looking for a rebound. You found one.” I chewed my food thoughtfully. “I’ve never been into attachments, and I’ve always liked it that way. That said…”

“Yes?” she prompted.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you again sometime.” The truthfulness of that statement surprised even me. Something had shifted in me since our encounter in my gym. I wasn’t going over all romance and commitment, but I hated that she would look back on last night as the night I took advantage of her. I wanted her to
want
to see me again, even though I’d never wanted that with anyone else. On top of that, the idea that she would go back to work on Monday, miserable, stuck in a continuation of the hell she’d found herself in, hurt me. I’d added to this. Like she’d said, she was drugged when she came home with me. I owed it to her to help fix this.

“Why?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” I answered slowly. Well, it was honest. “I think we were good together, Lily. What did you think?”

Her face lit up.
Wow.
She was naturally beautiful, but something about the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled like that blew me away.

“Well?” I prompted.

“Sex was never that good with Michael. It was always about him and his needs. If I finished, too, so much the better, but if not, it didn’t matter. With you, it was… very different.” She whispered the last few words, staring at her food as if it were the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen.

“Different?”

“Very.”

“A good different, I hope.”
Please say yes. Please tell me you don’t resent me for what happened.

She took a swallow of her drink. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

We finished our food in silence. When the bill was paid I stood and held out my hand to help her up. “I’m not going to lie. There’s something about you, Lily Campbell. I’ve never felt the slightest inclination to ever have a second chance with anyone… until today.”

I opened my car door for her, but instead of getting in, she moved to the side and leaned against the car. She looked me up and down, sizing me up.

Her lips curved. “I’ll think about it.” She climbed into the car, leaving me staring after her.

What? What did she mean she’d think about it? She’d been pretty clear that she’d wanted more, that she wanted to see me again. That she’d hated I wasn’t the relationship type. I blinked, suddenly realizing my mouth was left hanging open. I shut it, then gently closed her door.

We drove in silence as I pondered what her game was. I suspected she had done that because she assumed I was a man who liked a challenge. Damn. If so, she’d played me. Worse… she was right. It was working. Her vague answer only served to make me want to demand she see me again.

She directed me to her apartment building, and I found a parking spot. After a minute, I got up and walked around to open her door. I was at a bit of a loss. What should I do now? Should I follow her to her door? Should I say goodbye here? This was all new to me. I watched her, trying to follow her lead. She fidgeted with her purse, looking for her keys. She smiled up at me. “Thank you for saving me.”

“Lily, it was my pleasure.” I cleared my throat.

“Maybe I’ll see you later.”

“Umm… can I get your number?” Fuck. That was awkward. Suddenly I was a teenager again, instead of an experienced, grown man of twenty-seven. I could practically feel the acne and gawkiness popping out. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a business card and placed it in my hand. Then she leaned forward and closed her eyes.

I didn’t need to be asked twice. I closed the remaining distance and crushed her lips to mine. I stroked her lower lip with my tongue, demanding entrance, which she granted. I reached around and gripped her tight ass, pulling her hard against me. Her hands came up and cupped my face. My cock awoke and pressed with delicious firmness between our bodies. I wanted more. She moaned into my mouth, causing my heart to race. I ran my hand under her thigh, urging her to lift her leg up and around my waist. She leaned back against the car, and I loomed over her, boxing her in. I pressed my hips into her, humping her, rubbing my throbbing erection so near to where it wanted to be. She groaned, sending my pulse into overdrive.

After what seemed both an eternity and a brief second, she pulled away. We were both gasping for breath. “Wow,” she breathed.

“Yeah.” She had flecks of green in her chocolate-brown irises. I was sure I hadn’t noticed those earlier, and I was spellbound. I released her leg, and she reached down to cup the front of my tented pants. I sucked my breath through my teeth. In that moment, I’d have done anything she asked of me.

“Better stop that,” I rasped, capturing her hand in mine. “My control is hanging on by a thread. I’m about to bend you over the hood of my car and fuck you right here where the whole world can see.”

“Oh, fuck…”

“Yes, so unless you’re prepared to invite me in, I suggest you run along like a good girl.”

Panic briefly flickered across her face. The emotion was gone so fast it left me doubting whether I’d seen it. She reached up and gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek.

“Goodbye,” she whispered. Then she broke away and walked quickly into the apartment.

I shook my head as she vanished from sight. This girl was going to be my ruin; I just knew it.

Chapter Seven

I climbed back in the car and adjusted myself. I would have been far more comfortable had I left my workout pants on instead of wearing jeans. I looked at the business card she’d given me. Was it possible she just wanted me to try to reach her at her office, even though she may or may not return there? I relaxed when I saw her cell phone number had been printed on it as well. Shifting the car into reverse, I left.

I hadn’t really had any errands to run. Honestly, I wanted to spend more time with her. What was happening to me? I wasn’t even sure who I was anymore. I should have been working out today; I had a huge qualifier competition coming up in a little over a month. Reaching the freeway and shifting into sixth, I pointed the car toward home.

At home, I changed and went to the workout room, trying to focus on my routines. But even without Lily’s presence, I was distracted. I could still feel her hand on my cock, could still remember the way she looked and sounded as she got off.
Fuck!
I let go of the rings and dropped lightly to the floor, careful to land most of my weight on my uninjured foot.

What was I going to do? Her memory consumed me. I walked over to my weight collection and selected a pair of dumbbells. Sam would kick my ass if I did serious weights without him there as spotter, but this would work.

I had to get her out of my system. I’d found myself asking to see her again, and I was pretty sure I couldn’t blame the GHB anymore.
That
wasn’t me. I had her number, but I needed to forget about her. Getting tangled up with a woman like her was not smart. How the hell was I going to fix this?