Deep in the Heart (48 page)

Ike’s arms unwound as he stared in disbelief. “Wh…? Keith, are you sure?”

“
I read the newspaper articles myself. All of them.” Keith exhaled the long night spent reading. “She grew up in the foster system because of that night and my dad’s stupid decisions.” Then Keith knew he had to say it, but he wasn’t sure he could. He took a deep breath to settle the words. “That’s why I need to say thanks, Ike. Thanks for every lecture you ever gave me about drinking and driving, thanks for every time you came and got me when I was stoned-out in some corner, thanks for every second you spent worrying about me and trying to make sure I didn’t end up like him. I know it wasn’t easy, and I didn’t make it any easier. But I also know without you, I’d probably be rotting away in some jail cell somewhere… or dead. So thanks.”

Ike scratched his sideburn. “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you’ve gone and grown up on me.”

Keith smiled. “Hey, it had to happen sooner or later.”

Just after Keith got home from praying with Peter the next night, his cell phone beeped. His pulse leaped into his ears when he caught sight of the ID number. He clicked it on. “Have you heard from her?”

“
Well, hello to you too,” Greg said. “No. No more news.”

“
Crud. I was really hoping she’d call you.”

“
We were just friends. I’d think she’d call you before she called me.” Greg didn’t sound exactly jovial. “Listen, I called to tell you I’ve still got your rings from Saturday.”

The rings. Keith hadn’t even thought of them, and they were the last thing he cared to think about now. “Can’t you just put them in the mail to me?”

“
The mail? They’re mega-bucks rings, Keith. You really want me to mail them to you?”

Truth was he didn’t want them at all. “Well, then maybe you can bring them over some night.”

“
No, I don’t think so. I’m really swamped right now. I was wondering if you could come get them though. I don’t want the responsibility. You know where the key is, right?”

“
Same place as always.”

“
Yep. It’s still there. Anyway. I’ll leave them on the kitchen cabinet if you want to swing by sometime and get them.”

“
Oh, okay.” The thought was less than appealing. “I’ll try.”

“
Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Keith’s father asked Vivian who stood, glaring at them from the staircase.

“
To church? Why would I want to go to church?”

Peter who stood with his hand in his father’s looked up at her. “Because Jesus loves you, and He wants you to come see Him.”

Keith could have kissed the child, but instead he let his gaze trail up to Vivian who looked positively dumbfounded.

“
Oh. I… Are…?” She couldn’t get a full thought out.

“
You’re welcome to come with us,” his father said, and Keith could hardly contain the hope. “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“
Well, I guess… I’m not doing anything else.” She looked down at her outfit. “I should go change.”

“
You look beautiful.” His father held his hand out to her. “Come on. Come with us. We want you to go.”

The only person missing was Maggie, but for her, the family picture would have been complete. Keith let Vivian hold Isabella although in truth that made his arms feel awfully empty. He said a silent prayer for Maggie’s safety and then sat to listen to the sermon.

“
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want,” the preacher intoned. “
I shall not want
. We say them, but do we ever really hear those words? They imply something our society doesn’t understand, something we don’t really believe because if we did, it would change everything about how we live. The fact is that when you put your life in God’s hands, you don’t have to want anything anymore because you already have everything that you really need.

“
I shall not want.

“
Samuel 1 tells us that the Lord does not look at the things man looks at. ‘Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’ That means, God isn’t impressed with your cars, your house, or your bank account. He’s impressed only with what’s in your heart. In fact, in a very real way, your stuff only serves to chain you to the world—a world that will tell you that you must want everything, that you can only be happy if you get
this
toy or
that
thing. If we let it, the world will convince us to look to others for their acceptance and approval, for them to tell us how we’re doing, but God doesn’t work like that.

“
God looks only at what’s real, and the only thing that’s real is the love in your heart. Everything else means nothing. The great and terrifying secret of the world is that you can work your whole life to accumulate things, pushing what is really important to the side. Only to realize at the end that you missed the only thing God will ever care about when He looks at us.

“
There is only one thing we can take with us from this life to the next, only one thing that will define us as we stand before the seat of judgment. It isn’t our money or our stuff. It is the love we have given away.” He stopped to let that sink all the way in. “All we take with us, all we will have to show for this life when we stand before the throne of the Most High God is the love we have given away. Not the love we have attained, not the respect we’ve gained, not even the good works we’ve done to gain the applause of those around us, but only the love we have given away.

“
That love can and should be manifested to the world at large, but it starts when it takes root deep in each and every heart. Then it grows outward from there, touching lives, changing lives, changing hearts. It holds out forgiveness to those downtrodden by sin. It heals. It helps. It loves—at all times, in all ways.

“
Let that kind of love take root in you today. Let it permeate your life so that your every act is borne out of it. Because when you root yourself in the love of God, you already have everything you will ever need, and Heaven itself is within your grasp—not some day but right now. This very minute.

“
The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.” He paused. “Let us stand.”

Keith stood as the unbelievable peace of God’s love flowed around him.
Love,
he thought
, and life will take care of itself.
As scary as that sounded, he was ready to take the step from the world’s way of doing things into God’s. “Okay, God, You got it. My life is Yours. Take me where we’re going.”

“
Would you like to join us tonight for dinner?” his father said as they stood in the bright sunlight outside the church.

“
Dinner?” Keith asked in shock. “Tonight?”

There was mist in his father’s eyes, and he looked older and much more fragile than Keith remembered. “We’d love to have you.”

For some inexplicable reason he wanted nothing more than to hug the old man. “I’d love to, Dad.” And with that, he walked through the door God had opened between them as he stepped forward and wrapped his father in his arms. They had missed so much time in the hurt and anger, but Keith was determined from this moment forward, they would be defined by the love between them rather than the animosity.

He backed up, and the tears in his father’s eyes shimmered.

Keith nodded. “I have a couple errands to run first, and I’ll be there. What? About 5:30?”

“
Whatever time you get there, you will have a place.”

It was time to start looking for a new job and a new life. Maggie was grateful for Greg’s generosity the past week, but she couldn’t live here forever. First and last month’s rent, a car that ran, even money for groceries. She was at the bottom of the bottom again, and how she would ever get up from here, she had no idea. “God, please, You’re going to have to do this one because I sure can’t.”

As she sat down on Greg’s couch, she shook her head at the irony. She didn’t even have a reference from her last job. She laughed at the thought of calling them. “Yes, I realize I messed up your son’s life forever, could you tell them I’m punctual?” If it wasn’t so funny, she would have cried. She had just slid to the floor with the classifieds and a red pen when the doorknob jiggled.

Her attention snapped to it, and instantly fear traipsed through her. Greg wasn’t supposed to be back until later tonight. She scrambled to her feet, grabbed the vase from the end table, and took a step toward the door. The door opened, and a man stepped in, his head down as he worked the key back out of the lock. It was only when he looked up and came to full height that she realized who was standing there.

The second Keith caught the unbelievable image of Maggie standing there with the vase poised to strike, his heart slammed forward. “Maggie! What…?”

“
Keith?” She sounded almost as surprised as he was. “What’re you doing here?”

“
Me? What’re
you
doing here?”

“
I… I’m…” The vase lowered and then clattered to the glass table. She pulled her white tank top down around her old tan pants. “I’m… Umm, Greg didn’t tell me you were coming.”

Yeah, Greg didn’t tell me a lot of things.
“Well, he didn’t tell me you were here either.”

She anchored her arms across her middle as her gaze fell. “I told him not to.”

“
You…?” He could hardly make it all the way through the questions jamming his head. “What? Why?”

“
Because.” She turned for the window on the other side of the room, leaving Keith to close the door so the whole world wouldn’t hear.

He slid it closed and stepped into the room behind her.

“
I didn’t want to mess things up for you.” Her words sounded like she was being strangled. “I’m… really sorry… about Saturday.”

He watched her for a second, standing there, apologizing. “I’m not.”

She glanced back at him, and he heard the sniff.

“
That wasn’t your fault, Maggie. Look, Dallas and I were a disaster waiting to happen.”

“
But you loved her. You were going to get married.” And when she turned, there were in fact tears coursing down her cheeks.

His heart fell at the sight. “Her idea of love and my idea of love were two different things. We just waited a little long to figure that out.” Keith couldn’t bear even the sight of Maggie in tears, so he stepped over to her and put his arms around her. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. You’ll never know how sorry I am for that.”

Maggie couldn’t take how nice he was being especially after everything she had done. She didn’t want them to be, but Ike’s words were never far away from her consciousness when she was with Keith. Even if Dallas was no longer in the picture, that didn’t mean she had any better chance with him. She wasn’t good enough for Keith Ayer, and she never would be. Pulling herself from him his embrace, she stepped in the direction she least wanted to go—away from him. “Well, I’m sure your family was glad to be rid of me.”

“
Rid of you?” His face fell in concern as he stood watching her go. “Are you kidding me? They’re as worried about you as I am. In fact, Peter and I’ve been praying every night that you were safe and that we’d find you again.”

The pull of the words turned her to him. “You’ve been praying?”

He laughed. “That’s about all I’ve been doing. Man, Maggie. It’s been so incredible. Dad and Vivian went with me and the kids to church today.”

Incredulous dropped across her face. “To church? What did you do, hog-tie them and drag them there?”

“
No. They came because they wanted to.” He let out a breath, walked to the couch, and sat down. “It’s been so long since Dad and I’ve really connected… maybe for forever. But he’s coming around. He even put Pete on his lap at church today.”

Maggie had to sit down before she collapsed from the shock. She went to the couch as well but made sure to put plenty of distance between them when she sat. “Your dad?”

“
Yeah.” Keith looked over at her, and there was an almost smile on his lips. “Who would’ve believed that?”

“
What in the world? Did he get a brain transplant or something?”

“
More like a heart transplant.” Keith’s gaze plummeted to his hands, and the laughter fell away from him.

A moment and then another and Maggie began to realize something wasn’t right. “Keith? What is it? What’s wrong?”

He glanced at her, took a breath, and closed his eyes to gather his courage. She didn’t like anything about how long it was taking him to tell her. Finally he turned his full gaze on her.

“
Look, Maggie, I have to tell you something, something that…” He closed his eyes again and shook his head. The battle to get the words out was clear. When he looked at her again, his eyes pleaded with her to not trash everything over whatever he was about to say. After a moment, he turned and took her hands in his, holding them gently as the storm gathered in his eyes. “Maggie, I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’m just going to say it.” He let out a long breath. “My dad was the one. In the wreck. With your parents.”

She was having trouble getting everything her senses were telling her in. It was too much, and in the overwhelm, she wasn’t understanding what he was telling her. “What… what do you mean—the one?”