Dee, Lavada - Nothing to Lose [Blackhawk Brothers] (BookStrand Publishing Romance) (15 page)

“The job comes with an apartment and a wage of nine dollars an hour. Can you get by on that?”

Galynn nodded. She had enough money to last for a while, even without a job. This one would fit her simple needs. With an apartment, she probably wouldn’t have to dip into her own money at all.

Ginger drained her cup and stood up. “Well then, let’s get you settled in. Barney, my guy, is in only to help out in this pinch, so could you start tomorrow morning? You’ll have the breakfast and lunch shift from six o’clock until one.”

Galynn hoped the apartment was close. She’d decided to use her new identity cards when she left Blackhawk. She needed to start a new life, and now would be as good a time as any. She was tired of running. If, in spite of everything she’d done, Mick found her, she’d be the only one in danger. It was time to make a stand and let whatever was meant to be happen.

She didn’t want to have to buy a car right away, but she knew she would need it sooner or later. If she needed it to get back and forth to the apartment, she’d make now the time.

Ginger shuffled behind the counter and grabbed a couple of keys. She motioned for Galynn to follow her and hollered over her shoulder for Barney to watch things for a few minutes. Turning back to Galynn, she said, “The apartment is right above us. It has an outside entrance and one down this hall.

The apartment turned out to be a lot bigger than Galynn had expected. The door opened onto a small entry with doors off it into a living room and kitchen. The bath and bedroom were on the other side of the living room. It was the same vintage as the café, and though it showed its age, it was neat and clean.

Ginger walked over and lifted a blind that looked out over the street. “We lived here when we first bought the café. It’s fully furnished with linens and dishes. I still sometimes stay here when the weather gets bad, or if I have to work split shifts.”

Galynn followed Ginger to the window. From up here she could see people walking along the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. “You don’t rent it?”

“No, too much trouble, and we still use it for ourselves and sometimes as a guest house.”

* * * *

Galynn sat down on the sofa with a sigh and drew in a breath. She had lit some candles, and the apartment smelled good. She had made three trips to the market down the street. It would have taken more, but on her first trip, the friendly shopkeeper had offered to have her purchases delivered. Not wanting to impose, she’d made sure she didn’t buy more than she could carry on the last two trips.

She rubbed her back and stifled a yawn. Good, she’d be able to sleep tonight. The last full night’s sleep she’d had was up at the lodge with Cooper. She smiled, remembering how they’d spent that night. It hadn’t been sleeping. The smile played along her lips. When a sob threatened, she pushed it back. She would savor the memories they’d made. It was all she had, and more than a lot of women got.

She’d bought an alarm clock on one of her trips to the store. If she started sleeping better, she’d need it to get up in time for work. She looked over at it. Wow, almost seven o’clock. Where had the time gone?

She walked over to pull down the blind and noted the streetlights were on. Her stomach rumbled, protesting the lack of attention it had been receiving. Galynn hadn’t stopped to eat since the early breakfast downstairs. She didn’t feel hungry now either, but if she didn’t take care of herself, she would be sick, and that she couldn’t afford.

She grabbed her coat and made her way down the outside staircase. She thought about using the inside route but decided against it. By going outside, she could break home from work. Instinctively, she knew she needed to keep herself insulated and the apartment a sanctuary.

A feeling of déjà vu stole over her when she opened the café’s door. A scene almost identical to this morning, complete when the blast of warm air met her. There were only a couple of customers. They looked to be finishing dinner. Well, it was seven o’clock, and this town looked like it was one that shut down early.

A young woman came out from around the counter with a menu. “We still have some of tonight’s dinner special if you’d like. It’s chicken-fried steak with all the fixin’s, including dessert.”

When her stomach rumbled again, Galynn could have sworn it could hear the food selection. Smiling, she said, “Okay, that sounds good, and a cup of coffee.”

Galynn opened the book she hadn’t finished at Cooper’s. She’d been so busy, and, well, to be honest, involved with him, that she hadn’t had time to read.

She was on her own, safe for the moment. She needed to quit thinking of what might have been and be thankful for what she had. Here, her life would be nothing like it had been in Atlanta, but nothing like in Blackhawk either.

She fought to keep sadness out. Again she reminded herself that she had so much to be thankful for. She’d concentrate on that and not on what she couldn’t have.

She took the last bite and pushed her plate back as Ginger came out with a cup of coffee. She plopped down in the opposite booth, like she had that morning. “Did you get settled in?”

A twinge of guilt assailed Galynn. She should have offered to work today instead of waiting to start in the morning. Taking Ginger’s comment as rhetorical, she asked one instead of answering. “You look tired. You didn’t work straight through, did you?”

“Yeah, normally I put in around ten hours, but our dinner cook called in sick. We need to add employees, but this time of year they’re hard to find. The summer will be better. College and even high school students always need a job.”

“I can take extra hours if it will help.” Galynn picked up her check, but Ginger took it from her hand. “Tonight’s on us. Welcome to Ruby’s.”

Chapter 14

Two weeks later

The house had a fresh smell. Lucille had been in to clean, and that meant food in the fridge for dinner. Cooper’s stomach rumbled as if on cue. He kicked off his boots and set them neatly against the utility door. On the days Lucille came in to clean, he found it a little easier to come home. Still, it was almost like a model home where no one lived. “No one home. Apt description of how I feel,” Cooper mumbled.

He pulled the casserole dish out and smiled at the usual note pinned to it. Lucille seemed to think he needed directions simply to reheat what she’d left. Absently, he opened the note. “I might as well get the temperature right since she goes to all this trouble.” Great, now he was talking to himself.

His breath hitched.
Mr. Cooper,
the note started.
I freshened the spare room today, and I think Ms. Lynn might have left you a note on the bed.

Cooper muttered an oath and raced up the stairs. Night fell early this time of year, and the room was dark. If possible, it felt emptier than the rest of the house. He flipped the light switch, and the bedside lamp came on, illuminating the envelope laying on the pillow.

Almost reverently, he unfolded her note.

My Love,

As I write this, I don’t know if it’s the best thing to do, but I can’t leave without a final good-bye. What I feel is so hard to put into words. I don’t even think there are words to tell you what’s in my heart. How can I say I love you when what I feel is so much more? I would have never known what making love was without your touch, scent, and sound. To know I’ll never experience this kind of love again in this life fills me with sadness. If there is a life beyond this one, I will search until I find you. Until then, you have my heart. Please live, find that someone who will bring a richness to your life that I could never give you. Live for both of us.

All my love, forever.

She hadn’t signed it. He turned it over, wanting more. He tried to reread it, but tears blurred his vision until he dropped his head in his hands and gave way to tearing sobs. This went far beyond crying. It was more like howling in anguish. He rocked back and forth, not thinking, only feeling the searing heat engulfing his body.

* * * *

Disoriented, Cooper rolled over on the bed and sat up. He must have fallen asleep, though he would have thought the pain would have prevented it. He picked up the note and read it again and again. By the third time, the pain in his chest had turned into a dull ache. He felt like an old man when he stood up and made his way downstairs. Shit, he could hear the TV. That meant Grant had come in and no doubt had witnessed his meltdown upstairs.

Cooper stood at the door to the great room. Grant sprawled on the sofa with his stocking feet resting on the coffee table along with a couple of empty bottles of beer. Grant held up the one in his hand. “I brought over a case. They’re ice cold. Grab one and join me. Oh, and bring me another one back, too. You may not have resorted to drinking, but you’re driving me to it. And if Mom gets anymore worried, she’ll be taking it up, too.”

“I’m sorry you had to witness that…”

Grant waved his comment away. “Get that beer. There’s only a few seconds left in this game. You missed a hell of a one tonight.”

A few minutes later, the game ended, and the news came on. Neither brother had said anything. Finally, Grant put down his beer. “What happened to finally break down the wall you’ve had up?”

Cooper didn’t try to pretend not to understand what Grant was saying. After he’d let loose the day the bus had pulled away with Galynn on it, he’d shut down. He wasn’t hungry and didn’t need his family’s nagging or a scale to tell him he’d lost weight. Sleep held another problem. He hadn’t been to bed since that last night with
her
. When his body gave out, he’d nap on the sofa or recliner or sprawl out on top of the bed. Work helped. He’d gone down to Missoula with his dad and helped acquire the property. Since then he’d worked on the blueprints for the reconstruction of the old school. Work on the mall stayed on schedule, and he’d bid enough jobs to keep Blackhawk Construction hopping through the next year.

These thoughts swirled through his head as he fought anger and frustration. He plunked down in his chair and handed an unopened bottle to Grant. “She left a note. I haven’t been upstairs since she left, so I didn’t know about it until Lucille cleaned up there today. I…” He leaned back in the recliner and brought out the footrest. “Hell, Grant, I don’t know. It’s like I’m only partway here. I’m functioning, but I’m not feeling. When I read the note I—”

Grant interrupted. “Don’t! You don’t have to say any more. I wish I could take some of this pain from you, bro. They say time heals. I hope you’ve hit bottom and each day will get a little easier.”

Cooper knew the smile wasn't much, but at least it held a little emotion. His family deserved better, and he vowed to make an effort to appear like he was healing. “Have you eaten?”

“Hell, it’s almost midnight, Coop. I warmed up that casserole and ate. Still plenty left, and Lucille made a chocolate-cream pie. I waited for you on that, so what do you say we go for it?”

Cooper didn’t argue. He was serious about putting up a facade for his family, and by heavens he’d do it, even if it killed him.

Chapter 15

Galynn pushed the start button on the huge coffeemaker. Wyoming people matched Montana in coffee drinking. Sometimes she wondered if the cups grew out of their hands. “Must be the weather,” she mumbled to herself. Lately, even the smell turned her stomach.

Customers were usually pretty light until around eight thirty or nine in the morning, unless a bus came in. Even then, most of the passengers used the counter in the bus station. Galynn used the time to bake cinnamon rolls that were fast developing a following. Lately she’d added pies and cakes to her list. She’d just pulled the first tray of rolls out of the oven when she heard Ginger call out. With a sigh of relief, Galynn answered back. She was always glad to see someone come in to take over the waitressing. The mornings were mostly coffee and maybe a pastry. It made it easy to do both the cooking and wait on customers. She didn’t mind, except for being so visible. Ginger came into the kitchen with a smile on her face. She always seemed so happy. Galynn didn’t know how the lady kept going with the schedule she kept.

Ginger pulled off her coat and headed for the coffeepot. “Brrr, it must be a minus out there. Too cold to snow.” She turned around and cradled the cup between her hands. Nodding toward the front, she said, “Not many are going to venture out in this. Not even with the tantalizing smell of those rolls drifting down the street.”

Galynn laughed. “Tantalizing smell? You’ve been reading books to increase your vocabulary again.”

Ginger had confided to Galynn that she hadn’t had much schooling. The oldest of nine kids, she was needed at home to help out. Her limited English embarrassed her. Galynn had suggested that Ginger might enjoy reading to increase her vocabulary. Since then, the two women had enjoyed discussing the romance stories they both loved. Ginger dug in her purse, producing a paperback. “Yep, and the book I’ve got now not only has some big words, it’s a juicy—” She stopped short as Galynn covered her mouth and took off for the bathroom.

Galynn rinsed her mouth in the sink. She had felt this way for the last few days. She’d be fine one minute and nauseated the next, and it was getting worse. Today had been the first time she’d thrown up, but so far this morning she’d done it three times. The first time, all she’d had was water. Thinking she might need to put something in her stomach, she’d made cereal, hoping the milk in it would coat her stomach
.
Nope, that hadn’t worked. This time, there wasn’t anything to come up, and the dry heaves and vile were awful.

A glance out front told Galynn that there weren’t any customers. Thank heavens. She wasn’t sure she would be able to fry an egg, and just the thought of bacon had her almost ready to turn around to head back for the bathroom.

She sat back down at the table and faced Ginger. “I’m sorry. I haven’t got a fever, just this upset stomach stuff. I’m sure it’ll pass in a few hours.”

Ginger laughed. “Oh, honey, it’ll pass okay. Like in about nine months.”

At her words, Galynn swallowed. It felt like her heart had leaped into her throat. She couldn’t be pregnant. It was impossible. She never forgot her birth control pills. She had a case with the days on it, so she’d know if she had forgotten to take them, and it hadn’t happened. She felt tears well up and blinked, trying to keep them in.