Declare (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #4) (26 page)

“Yeah. That’s right,” she whispered before snuggling back against my chest.

ALYSSA CALLED Josh early to arrange our visit. Ruby was expected to leave the hospital around lunchtime, so we organised a dinner date with them. We explained to Phoebe that we would go see her new little cousin Noah at Uncle Josh and Aunt Ruby’s later that evening.

We then spent the day with her, taking her around to all her old favourite places. To ensure she knew she had to be gentle around Noah, we explained how delicate babies were.

Despite our misgivings that she might inadvertently hurt him, Phoebe was amazing with her little cousin. She was enthralled by him, making us promise that she could come and play with little Noah when he got bigger. Ruby even set her up on a chair with some cushions and supervised her while Phoebe cradled him.

Phoebe was in heaven, and again I felt my stomach drop with the sensation of knowing she’d never have a little brother or sister of her own to hold. I would happily support Alyssa’s decision, but I still felt a pang of loss at times. Alyssa must have seen the look in my eyes, because she nestled into me before guiding my arm around her waist.

EACH NIGHT as we headed to bed, Alyssa seemed thoughtful about something, but each night our lust took over, and we barely spent any time talking. The few times I tried to raise the issue of her distraction, she’d told me it was nothing, and I let it drop because I didn’t want to push it. The couples’ therapy we’d had played in my mind, Dr. Henrikson’s reminders of when to probe and when to back away stabbing at my memory. It wasn’t causing us arguments, so it wasn’t something I needed to push her about.

Yet.

By the time we got back to Sydney, we’d both spent plenty of time with family. We’d even been able to spend a little time with Ben and Jade.

We soon got back into the usual grind, only now it was different. Rather than being Declan Reede and Alyssa and Phoebe Dawson, we were the Reedes. It probably meant little to a casual observer, but it meant the world to me.

When I went back to work, I was quickly whisked off for a series of physicals and other tests required by the contract I’d signed to be back in the ProV8. I still wasn’t sure how Danny was going to arrange it when Morgan was likely going to be out for the rest of the season, but if my dream was still going to be realised I wasn’t going to complain. Track days were booked for the end of August to give me the opportunity to test my reflexes back behind the beast before tackling Phillip Island.

Unfortunately though, my wish to see the track from the inside of a V8 hit a snag a few days after getting back to work.

“Do we have a problem?” Danny asked, his voice cautious.

“What do you mean?” I asked, genuinely uncertain what could be concerning him. Aside from the two incidents in Townsville, my behaviour had been exemplary.

“These turned up on my desk this morning.” He tossed an envelope across the table at me.

I pulled open the envelope, tilting it and watched as a half-dozen photographs spilled out across Danny’s desk. I leafed through them quickly, but immediately realised what they were when I saw a girl pawing at me. Memories of my horrid birthday weekend came flooding to my mind. “This isn’t—”

“Isn’t what it looks like?” he asked, with one eyebrow raised.

“No! It’s not,” I said.

“What, pray tell, do you think it looks like?”

“Well, first off that I was actually enjoying myself.” I screwed my nose up.

Danny chuckled once. “See, what I think it looks like is that you found yourself in a situation you weren’t comfortable in. Maybe even a situation someone else put you into.”

I looked up at Danny in shock. Was he actually taking my side on something? I nodded in response to his words. “I guess it is what it looks like then.”

“The oddest thing about these photos is the timing of their arrival,” he mused.

When did they arrive?
The question was on my lips, but died in my throat as Danny shook his head ever so slightly. I got the impression something bigger was happening, something I didn’t quite understand. I knew who’d sent the photos—there was no doubt in my mind it was Hunter, because he’d been the one to orchestrate the surprise for my birthday. I debated telling Danny so, but realised it wouldn’t be any benefit. Danny obviously wasn’t concerned about the photos. I just wasn’t sure exactly what his concern was then.

“I have to be honest with you, Declan,” he said after a beat, breaking my train of thought by grabbing the photos back and pushing them into his desk drawer. “When I found out about the new rule regarding the endurance racers, you were the first person to spring to mind. I thought it would be a good way to be able to keep your skills up, without risking the loss of any major sponsors.”

Still mute with confusion, I nodded.

“Unfortunately though, circumstances have changed since then. There are situations at play now which limit my options.”

“Okay?” I couldn’t figure out exactly what he was trying to tell me. I wished he would just come out and tell me what he was thinking, but obviously there was some reason he wouldn’t. Or couldn’t.

“Ideally, I would have run you in Morgan’s car. You two have very similar racing styles and complement each other well. You’ve shown that in many enduros in the past.”

I nodded, agreeing completely with him. Morgan and I had a way of communicating which, short of my disastrous showing the previous year, had seen us be very successful.

“Unfortunately, Morgan has been ruled out for the rest of the year.”

I’d seen Morgan just a few days earlier. He was healing well and with physio was expected to be back for the following year’s race calendar, but the team doctor was taking his lead from the physiotherapist, who was unwilling to sign a release before Phillip Island.

Morgan was desperate to be back, but until he had that clearance, he couldn’t race.

“This means we will only have one car running in the endurance races.” He paused for a moment, seeming to weigh his words heavily before speaking. “I spoke with Hunter yesterday about the potential for you to co-drive with him at Phillip Island.”

I scoffed. “That would have gone down well.”

His eyes fell to his desk drawer for less than a fraction of a second.

I trailed the same path before turning back to him. I could have sworn he nodded slightly.

“How would
you
feel about that situation?” he asked after a moment’s pause.

“Driving with Hunter?” I clarified. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I can’t see any other options, I’m afraid,” he almost sounded apologetic.

“But with Hunter? He hates me, and believe me, the feeling is more than mutual.”

“I just don’t know what other option I have.” He sighed.

“Put me in Morgan’s car then.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that easy, Declan. I’d need to approve the move with all the sponsors, organise rebranding if any wanted to change. And I’d still need to find two other drivers, one for each car. It’s just not viable.”

My dream was slipping further away with every word he spoke.

“With more time. More resources. Maybe a car that wasn’t under a sponsorship contract, maybe I could consider it.”

I nodded as my hope ebbed to the floor. “So, it’s off the cards?”

“Unfortunately, the opportunity for you to drive under the Sinclair Racing banner is off the cards. I’ve offered the seat to Smythe.”

It didn’t surprise me that the rookie driver from the Production Series had been tapped. It was a good way for him to cut his teeth in ProV8s. While that thought turned over in my mind, something else struck me. Danny’s words were odd, and seemingly chosen with care. There was something he wanted me to read between the lines. I couldn’t race under the Sinclair Racing banner . . . but I could still race. How? It didn’t make sense. There was no way I could—

I blinked as the thought struck me. There was one way. It was bold. It was fucking
stupid
. It would be hard, but I thought I might be just lucky—and crazy—enough to pull it off. I grinned wickedly before outlining my idea to Danny. A small, knowing grin crossed his lips halfway through my plan. When he actually looked thoughtful and didn’t refuse me outright, I guessed it meant I’d read the situation correctly, or at least had suggested something that was actually workable. The task I was suggesting was monumental, but having Danny onside for the plan would make it easier.

Life was all about the small victories.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: JUST MANAGING

IT HADN’T TAKEN long for the enormity of what I’d asked of Danny to hit me. We’d had another meeting just as everyone else was leaving for the afternoon to discuss it further. Having assumed halfway through the day that I’d actually completely misread the situation, I’d expected him to rubbish my plan outright.

But not once did he tell me not to do it.

Of course, he hadn’t offered me his outright support either, but I wasn’t exactly expecting that, especially when I was effectively talking about leaving Sinclair Racing.

Instead, what he had offered me was a glimmer of hope. He’d sat me down and told me all the negatives of my plan. In doing so, he’d outlined, in detail, everything I needed to achieve in order to pull it off.

Almost as soon as the meeting started, under the pretence of him explaining why it couldn’t work, I could see what he was doing—giving me a plan of attack.

Once I’d realised where he was going with it all, I pushed aside the part of me that wanted to tell him to shove it up his arse. I bit my tongue and grabbed a pen and notepad from his desk. While I quickly scribbled notes about all of the work that would be involved to pull it off, he waited patiently then filtered a little more information my way.

I wanted desperately to ask him a few questions and demand some straight answers, but I knew I wouldn’t get any—at least not yet. I was going to have to try to read between the lines of what he’d told me for a while. His hands were clearly tied by something—either sponsorship contracts or something else.

My first port of call, after getting Danny’s implicit approval, was to see Alyssa. I hoped she would be able to help me somewhat. At the very least, I would rely heavily on her support to get through the difficult times and shitload of work ahead of me. She wouldn’t be able to help out too much with the actual legal side of it—like drawing up the contract that I would need—but she could offer her support.

Danny had explained it all to me in our meeting. Apparently, because she worked for Pembletons, the firm that would represent him in the negotiations, she had a conflict of interest and wouldn’t be able to help me. I didn’t really completely understand what he was talking about, but I hoped that Alyssa would be able to at least point me in the right direction and straighten out some of the confusion I felt over the whole thing. If nothing else, just knowing she was in my corner would do me the world of good.

My mind was in overdrive the whole way home, running through my meeting with Danny and the rest of my day again and again. I kept coming back to the photos. Looking back on it now, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t even thought to tell Alyssa about the incident.

It wasn’t that I’d withheld the information deliberately; it had been nothing more than an oversight because my entire birthday weekend had been such a shit-fest that the girl Hunter had all but thrown onto my lap had ended up as nothing more than a blip on my radar.

I had to fess up to Alyssa now though, just in case Hunter pushed the envelope even further and tried to send them to her. Not that I thought she’d put any more stock in the situation than Danny had. One thing was absolutely certain; the photos that had arrived on Danny’s desk had come from Hunter. I knew it, and thankfully Danny seemed to know it too.

Obviously, Hunter didn’t want me in his car for the upcoming enduros. I actually understood that completely, because I didn’t want to race with him either. In fact, I would do anything to avoid the possibility. And shoving two drivers who didn’t trust each other into a car was a recipe for disaster.

I wasn’t at all surprised he would stoop so low, but I did have to chuckle to myself at the thought of how stupid Hunter had been, showing his hand so early. He’d also clearly demonstrated the key difference between us; if it was honestly in the best interest of the team—and had been my one and only chance to get back in a ProV8 more permanently—I would’ve sucked that shit up and raced with him. I would’ve even tried to win, despite the fact that he’d end up on the podium too.

Despite spending the journey home with my head spinning in circles, I was so psyched by the idea I’d had that I was practically leaping out of my skin by the time I arrived. I raced in the front door, intercepting Phoebe as she ran to greet me. I picked her up and spun her around until she squealed excitedly.

“Daddy’s got some good news!” I exclaimed, kissing her on the top of the head before I placed her back on the floor.

“What is it?” she asked. Her eyes were wide and full of excitement.

“I’ll tell you as soon as we find Mummy.”

Phoebe grinned and raced off, leaving me to follow her. I found both of my girls in the kitchen. Alyssa was just pulling out the start of dinner. She welcomed me with a quick kiss and asked me to help her by finding a few items she needed to finish off our meal.

I complied immediately, placing them on the bench before turning to Alyssa and loosely grabbing her hands, bringing them to rest on my chest. My index finger toyed with her wedding band and engagement ring absently as I smirked at her. I couldn’t wait to tell her my news, and I knew the perfect way to do it. Phoebe was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

“What is it?” Alyssa asked in response to both my stance and Phoebe’s anticipation.

“I’m going to race a ProV8 again.” I grinned.

Phoebe started squealing. She was so loud that I barely heard Alyssa’s next statement.

“Even with Morgan . . .” Alyssa trailed off.

I knew she’d never be able to finish the sentence. Since our return to Sydney after Townsville, things had become much warmer between the two of them. She felt that she owed him for the thing with Hunter, especially when it had cost him so much. No matter how much Eden, Morgan, and I tried to convince her otherwise, she blamed herself for the accident that cost Morgan the championship and a good portion of the race year.

I nodded excitedly. “Yeah.”

“But how?” she asked, looking at me warily. “Not in
his
car?”

She hated the thought of me racing with Hunter even more than I hated the idea. At least I was willing to consider it if I absolutely had to. Which I might not now.

I grinned even wider as I shook my head. “Nope.”

“Then
how
?”

“I’m going to be a privateer.”

“Huh?”

“I’m going to run my own car.”

Alyssa stood blinking at me for a few moments. “But you don’t have a car.”

“I can rent one for the weekend. And a licence too.”

Alyssa stood agape for a moment more before asking, “How much is that going to cost?”

“A lot,” I admitted. “But I have a plan.”

“Oh, you have a plan, do you?” Despite the scepticism in her voice, I could see excitement dancing just behind the incredulity in her eyes. I’d relied on her support to take things further, and the glimmer of enthusiasm I saw in her fuelled my own exhilaration to dizzying new heights.

I stepped forward and whispered into her neck. “Yes, and it involves spending some quality time with each other after Phoebe’s in bed tonight.”

She chuckled. “You know I’m almost always up for some quality time, but I don’t see how
that
will help you get back in a car.”

“Ha ha.” I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to my other girl, the one who wouldn’t mock me. “Are you excited that Daddy’s going to be back in a ProV8 again, baby?”

Phoebe nodded enthusiastically. “Can I go in one too?”

I turned to see that Alyssa wasn’t looking or listening.

I winked at her. “We’ll see what we can do.”

“THAT’S A big to-do list,” Alyssa breathed as I finished my explanation.

“I know. I’ve got no idea how I’m going to manage it all. I do know I won’t be able to get it all done before Phillip Island. So I’m not trying to. Instead, I’m aiming for . . . “

“Bathurst,” Alyssa finished for me.

I grinned. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Alyssa knew the race calendar so well, especially when it came to
that
race; the anniversary of the crash that had inadvertently led me back to her. I could only imagine the significance of the date in her mind considering how much it meant to me.

“The hardest thing is going to be finding the time to make the calls I need to make,” I admitted. “Although in theory Danny is giving me his support, he can’t be seen as assisting me. I definitely can’t do it at work.”

Alyssa bit her lip. “I may be able to help you out there.”

I raised my eyebrow at her. Ever since we’d returned from our holiday, Alyssa had been having issues at work. Truthfully, I think she’d been having issues long before then, but hadn’t wanted to admit it.

“And just how would you do that?” I asked.

“I need to take some time off work,” she started. Her voice was calm and in control. “I . . .” She sighed heavily and something snapped within her. “I just . . . I can’t do it,” she sobbed. “I can’t be there. I can’t stand the guilt they give me every day when I have to leave to pick up Phoebe. It’s just not fair. I’ve never been made to feel so
worthless
.”

I gathered her up into my arms instantly.

“Shh, Alyssa,” I murmured, trying to quell her sobs. I realised she had been holding back so much more than I’d ever imagined, and felt like an arse for not seeing it sooner. For not pushing her a little more. “Tell me about it.”

She nuzzled deeper into me. “It’s Carmen, she and her
daddy
have been out for me since we were paired up. If she wasn’t so incompetent, I’d swear she was trying to make me look bad. Sometimes I think Mr. Kent is the only one on my side.”

“Of-fucking-course!” I exclaimed, slapping myself on the forehead for my stupidity. “Kent!”

Alyssa pulled away and gave me a funny look. Probably because she’d poured her heart out and I’d completely changed the subject.

“Sorry, it’s just, well, Andrew Kent’s son is Dane.”

Alyssa’s look turned to one of confusion.

“
Dane Kent
,” I said, wondering what she didn’t understand. “Former ProV8 driver, Dane Kent.”

“So?” She sniffed, her tears completely dried up after the sudden shift in the conversation.

“He retired just before I started driving. He was the driver I replaced at Sinclair.”

“And?”

I grinned. “Don’t you see? He’s retired, but he’s still in shape. Still able to drive.” I paused for a moment, but I realised she wasn’t going to see the connection I’d seen in my mind in an instant. “He could be the second driver in my car. That’s the biggest piece of the puzzle I’ve been worrying about.”

A smile lit Alyssa’s features. It was stunning to watch as her joy started in her eyes and spread rapidly outward across her face.

“Of course,” she murmured. “Do you think he would though?”

“I have no idea!” I stood and chuckled a little, feeling a bit like a mad man, but I was too excited about the new plan to care. My sudden realisation made so many things fall into place. It was perfect. “But just think about it if he did. Two ex-Sinclair Racing drivers in the one car staging a stunning comeback together.”

“The press would have a field day.” She grinned.

“Exactly! Imagine the publicity.”

“The sponsors!”

“Fuck, baby,” I murmured. Seeing her so excited about me getting back in the car was doing things to me. I swooped back onto the bed, pushing her onto her back as I did. I captured her mouth with mine and kissed her hard. “You and me, we’re going to make this work.”

Her response was a moan as my erection rubbed against her thigh.

IN THE harsh light of morning, the list seemed so much bigger than it had the day before. The task ahead of me would have been monumental even without having to front up at Sinclair Racing every day for work.

I still had my job in the pits to train for, even though I’d officially been moved from Hunter’s pit crew because of our “differences”. My boys had all requested the same change so there was a shake-up of the teams, but that didn’t mean we weren’t required to be at the top of our game. The official word on Morgan was that we were waiting on clearance, but everyone on the team knew the truth; he was definitely out for the season.

While Alyssa negotiated with Phoebe to get her to eat her Weet-Bix, and I packed up everyone’s lunch, I suggested to Alyssa that maybe it was time to move on rather than just take time off. I hated the thought of her being unhappy at work. I questioned whether she should hand in her notice and find something else. She looked at me like I’d grown an extra head.

“All I’m saying is that you don’t need that fu—stinking job if they can’t treat you with respect.”

She smiled sadly at me. “But we still have a mortgage to pay, and we still have Phoebe’s day care costs.”

I crossed my arms. “I don’t care.”

“But—”

I pressed my finger to her lips to silence her. “We’ll manage.”