Declare (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #4) (21 page)

Mine, or Hunter’s?
His words didn’t make it clear, so I read between the lines.

“I will be speaking to Hunter about this as well, and making my thoughts clear on the matter.”

Make the fucker pay!
Even though the words were on the tip of my tongue, what came out was, “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.”

“Do you feel up to your race today?”

I wondered whether I could, but I knew my response would no doubt count toward Danny’s mental tally of how hard it was to put me back into a V8. If I couldn’t even race a Mini after witnessing the accident, how could I possibly be trusted with anything more?

I nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay. I’ll take you off pit duties though. We only have one car after all. Just compete in your race and then you’re free to go.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“Then I guess I’ll see you in Brisbane for your big day.”

I froze. In the madness, I’d completely forgotten that this weekend was the last time I would see the Sinclair Racing team before my wedding. I blinked and couldn’t help smiling a little.

“Thank you,” I said again, unnecessarily. I decided against giving him the same hug Eden had and settled on a handshake before leaving the office.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: IT IS YOU

I STOOD AT the end of the red carpet, a conspicuous gap to my left where Morgan was supposed to have been. He should have been beside me to celebrate the happiest fucking day of my life, but instead, due to the sick fuckery of Hunter, he was back at home in Sydney still recovering from the accident. Even if he’d been well enough to stand next to me, he was still unable to fly because of the hole in his lung.

Flynn had agreed to be Morgan’s fill-in, but stood a small distance away out of respect for the man who couldn’t be there. Even though I appreciated Flynn’s help, it wasn’t really the same.

I looked around the room, marvelling at the details that Ruth and Alyssa had put into the planning. It was simple but elegant. There were no extravagant floral arrangements, just a single lily at the end of each row of chairs. I was in awe of her choice to have our wedding at the Suncrest Hotel, a place that held so many good and bad memories for the two of us.

Virginities and innocence were lost there, fights and make ups, and promises had been made and kept.

Drawing in a deep breath, I tried to dispel some of the nervous energy racing through my body. When I blew the air out slowly, I shook my legs and brushed my hand through my hair.

It had been over twenty-four hours since I had seen Alyssa. Ruth insisted that they needed to have a girls’ day before our wedding, and I’d relented, especially after my own mother turned traitor and insisted on it too.

Even as they fussed over Alyssa and Phoebe, it was clear to me that I would spend the whole day as one big jumble of raw nerves. I had no one to offer me the level of support Alyssa had been given leading up to the event. I’d wanted to spend some time with Ben, but despite our attempts at renewing the friendship we’d once had, I just didn’t feel right dumping all my pre-wedding crap on him, so I’d avoided him.

The thought of baring my soul in front of our families and friends terrified me. I’d managed to speak to Dr. Henrikson on the phone that morning to settle my pre-wedding jitters—something he’d offered as he’d wished us luck after the final couples’ counselling session he’d had with Alyssa and me a few days earlier. It was good to get a chance to talk through the last of my nerves, but as soon as I’d hung up the phone, the stress had come back in force.

I’d even considered spending a few hours in another futile attempt to reconnect with my estranged father, but realised that his continuous pleas to see me were made out of the same selfish desire as the first. He truly had no wish to be a part of my life outside of what he thought I could do for him.

Since leaving Alyssa at her parents’, I’d barely slept, only catching an hour here and there between nightmares and insomnia. All in all, it was not the way I’d expected to spend the night before the big one. At least the following night would be significantly better.

Once morning had arrived, I’d dragged myself out of bed, shaved, and then dressed before heading in to the Suncrest Hotel to help out with the final arrangements. In reality, though, there wasn’t much to do, because Alyssa had planned it down to the last place setting.

The hall was set up with a makeshift altar and aisle for the ceremony. After we’d said our vows, we would head out for photos at the Botanical Gardens and a few other locations around town, while our guests were ushered out into the ballroom lobby for drinks and canapés. The hotel staff would use that break to convert the ballroom into the reception. Our guests would then be invited back in and shown to their allocated seats to await our arrival.

Part of me was excited about the evening, but mostly I just wanted it all to be over. I wanted to be back at home living as man and wife. Being married didn’t frighten me as much as getting married. I was ready to know that Alyssa was mine, just as I was hers, forever.

I looked over the crowd, worried that trying to single out any individual face would make me ill. A quiet murmur ran around the room, providing a constant noise that I tried in vain to tune out. Ever since taking my position at the front of the gathering, I’d been counting down the minutes left in my head. The countdown ended, and then before I knew it, I was down to negative ten, which didn’t bode well for me, because it meant Alyssa was late. I closed my eyes and tried to convince myself that she was still coming. She wasn’t standing me up; it was okay for a bride to be fashionably late.

How late is fashionable though?

My count increased by another five minutes before music burst into life through the loudspeakers hidden inconspicuously around the room. I blew out a relieved breath, knowing that it was finally time. A silence fell over the room as everyone turned in their seats to watch the bride’s entrance. My own eyes fell to the door as I waited for my perfect woman to walk through. I couldn’t concentrate on the lyrics or the music—just the door.

Finally, it opened just a crack and a vision with brown hair walked through it. Her turquoise eyes were accented perfectly by the baby-blue dress she wore. Her hair was set in loose ringlets that rested on her shoulders. The little clips we’d picked out together pulled her curls up off her face beautifully. On seeing me, her mouth broke into a huge grin.

“Daddy!” she squealed, dropping the basket of rose petals she was carrying and hurtling toward me at top speed. She launched herself into my arms as giggles and muffled laughter broke out randomly throughout the crowd.

I pulled her in to me and gave her a small embrace.

“Hey, sweetie,” I whispered quietly.

“You should see Mummy,” she whispered back. “She’s beautiful.”

“I don’t doubt it,” I murmured before placing my finger on my lips to indicate she should be quiet.

Ruby walked through the door just then, glowing in her soft pink bridesmaid’s dress. It flowed gently over her now-sizable baby bump. She shot me a knowing smile—obviously a reaction to the wide-arse, shit-eating grin on my face.

The doors opened again and suddenly everything stopped.

The world existed in perfect clarity as the music changed and Alyssa stepped forward. I could see, hear, and feel
everything
.

Her white dress was tight at the top, flaring out just below her hips. It was shaped perfect to accentuate her hips and bust. I was glad that all eyes were on her because it gave me a second to drink it all in. Her veil covered her features, but was thin enough that I could still see her clearly. Half of her hair was pulled up away from her face, but the rest fell in loose curls around her shoulders. She took a deep breath in the doorway as the lyrics began.

I met her eyes and caught her chewing her lip before her mouth broke into a smile almost as wide as mine. The lyrics that timed Alyssa’s slow march down the aisle were perfect. We’d found the song on a
Shrek
soundtrack of all things, but the words had never been more fitting.

“I love you,” I mouthed to her, causing her smile to widen even further.

“See, Daddy!” Phoebe shouted. “I told you Mummy was beautiful!”

I agreed with her, laughing a little before setting her down onto the ground, readying my arms to accept the second most important person in my life. Ruby quickly called Phoebe over to her side.

Each second of the minute or two that it took Alyssa to walk toward me felt like it stretched on forever.

Finally, she reached my side and Curtis’s rough hand passed her soft one to me. He wrapped his hand around our joined ones. At any other wedding, the moment would have been the perfect opportunity for the father of the bride to whisper words of encouragement, or give his final blessing, but this was
our
wedding, so of course, Curtis whispered, so quietly only I could hear, “If you hurt either of them . . .”

I met his eye, refusing to let him ruin my perfect moment. “I won’t.”

That said, I turned back to Alyssa, the one person who deserved my attention the most in this almost-perfect moment. The guests, Curtis, everyone else could go to pot. As long as I had Phoebe and Alyssa close to me, everything would be perfect.

The song finished and I couldn’t help but smile through the nerves that had built steadily again as the room quietened, but only because I didn’t want to fuck anything up. I wanted the day to be perfect for Alyssa.

The celebrant began by welcoming our guests, and as he did, Alyssa blushed brightly. I wondered if it was the first time she’d even realised they were present. She glanced across everyone, tears springing to her eyes as they met back with mine.

I grabbed her other hand and held them both tightly, unwilling to let go now that I was so close to having my dreams fulfilled. Even then, with every eye in the place on us, it was impossible to completely quell the nerves. Oddly though, I wasn’t nervous about what I was about to do. No, instead it was a desire to not fuck something up accidentally that made my hands shake. I barely paid attention to the celebrant as he said all the required bullshit.

Finally, it came time to say my vows. We had agreed—despite my unease with the idea—to write our own. Unfortunately, I had to read mine first. Begrudgingly, I released her hands and unfolded the piece of paper on which I had unleashed my heart. A better man may have been able to memorise the words, but I was more concerned with getting them right than knowing them by heart. My hand shook so much it was hard to read them.

“Alyssa.” I had to stop as my voice quivered. I cleared my throat and tried again. “In my life, I have faced the unexpected and made many mistakes. Through my trials, I have learned that you are my safe place to land. You are my heart’s keeper and despite the pain it caused you, you treated it with care throughout our separation.

“From this day on, I choose you, my sweet Alyssa, to be my wife. To live with you and laugh with you; to stand by your side, and lie in your arms; to bring joy to your heart, and warmth to your soul; to bring out the best in you always, and, for you and our daughter, to always be the most that I can be.”

As I spoke the words, the rest of the room disappeared. There was only Alyssa and me. I was making her an earnest promise, one I never wanted to break.

No, that I
wouldn’t
break.

“I promise to laugh with you in good times, to struggle with you in bad; to console you when you’re downhearted; to wipe away your tears with my hands; to comfort you with my body; to mirror you with my soul; to share with you all my riches and honours; to play with you as much as I can until we grow old and, still loving each other sweetly and gladly, our lives come to an end.”

I folded the piece of paper back up and slid it into my tuxedo pocket. I clasped one of Alyssa’s hands so she could feel the truth in my words. As it always did, her touch steadied my nerves, and I managed to give her a tender smile.

Alyssa took a deep breath then launched into her vows. She kept her hands steady and her eyes on me as she spoke.

I could feel my eyes burning with emotion as she recited her words.

“I choose you, Declan, as my best friend and my love for life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, and my tenderest care. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to always be faithful to you.

“I promise to love you completely, to commit to you fully, and to support you absolutely. I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities and to lend you strength for all of your dreams.

“Today, I join my life with yours, not merely as your wife, but as your best friend, your lover, and your confidant. Let me always be the shoulder you lean on; the rock on which you rest; the companion of your life. From this day on, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, and my arms will forever be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.”

I squeezed her hand gently and she smiled as a tear ran down her cheek.

Refusing to relinquish my hold on her, I guided our joined hands up underneath her veil and swiped gently at her tear with my finger. The crowd watching us no longer existed. I was in my own perfect bubble with her. Time stretched on endlessly and I didn’t want it to end. I vaguely heard the minister saying something, but I was no longer listening to him. It wasn’t until I heard a titter from the crowd and felt Flynn nudging my back that I realised something else was needed.

I turned to Flynn. He was holding out Alyssa’s wedding ring. I grabbed it off him carefully, not wanting to drop it and look like a tool in front of everyone. I turned back to Alyssa, and she offered me her left hand. I repeated what the celebrant said as I slid the plain gold band onto her ring finger. “To marry the person you have set your heart upon is a joy unparalleled in human life. Alyssa Celeste Dawson, take this ring as a sign of my faith and my commitment to our love, and share this joy with me today.”

Alyssa pushed a wedding band onto my finger as she repeated the same promise.

I turned back to Flynn and he passed me another piece of jewellery. I ducked down onto one knee and motioned for Phoebe to come back over. It was maybe a little unorthodox, but I wanted to show my commitment to her as well as Alyssa.

When she was in front of me, I looked her in the eye. “Phoebe, you are the light of my life. I promise to always be the best daddy in the world. I will do everything that I can to make you proud of me. I will protect you, cherish you, and support you in everything you choose to do in your life.