Deception (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 3) (6 page)

‘And so, will Sam be coming over … to see me … to see us?’ I asked.

‘No, I’m afraid he won’t,’ she replied, her face calm, giving nothing away.

‘Oh,’ I said, unable to hide the disappointment from my voice as I felt my heart sinking.

‘Look, it’s not a good time for him to get away. Michael is quite stressed at the moment, and no-one thought it would be a good idea for both Sam and me to be away at the same time. I told Sam that he should be the one to come, and I’d stay with Michael, but, well, you know how hard it is for him here.’

‘Yeah, sure … I mean, I understand,’ I said, trying to sound calm. But I didn’t understand. Not at all. I was aching to see him. Didn’t he feel the same way? I tried to sound more positive than I felt when I continued, ‘perhaps later, he and I can come for a visit—to see Ceylona. That would be nice actually. It would give me an excuse to come back, sooner rather than later.’ The idea of a visit in a few months’ time lifted my spirits slightly.

‘Of course. I’ll let you discuss that with Sam … when we get back to Melbourne.’

Her tone sounded somewhat hesitant, and it made the questions that had been running around in my head all surface at once. Why wasn’t Sam replying to my emails? Why wasn’t he working at the market? And mostly, why hadn’t he answered his phone or returned my calls?

‘Crystal, is everything okay—with Sam I mean? He hasn’t replied to my emails in ages. And I tried calling him before I rang you, several times in fact … but he never answered. Is there something that I should know about, before we go back to Melbourne?’

Crystal sighed and looked away from me for a moment. My heart began to race, and I felt that sick feeling in my stomach.

‘Is everything okay …,’ she said, repeating my question. ‘In some ways, yes, everything is fine. But we’ve all been busy. Remember that rogue vampire you encountered—well, he turned out not to be such a one-off as we’d hoped. Unfortunately others like him have been appearing more and more frequently the last couple of years. It’s no longer just at night that we watch the area. Sam and Tom are pretty much on patrol, what’s the saying, “twenty-four-seven”. There hasn’t been a lot of time for anything else.’

So, he was busy. That could explain why he hadn’t been answering my emails. Maybe he never logged on anymore. And of course, if they were patrolling that much, they’d have given up their jobs at the market. But that was still no reason for him not to answer his phone, was it? Surely he’d have seen all the missed calls? And if he’d wanted to speak to me, he’d have rung, wouldn’t he? I had to find out if Crystal knew something more.

‘So, have you ever, you know, talked about me? Do you think he’s missed me? Is he looking forward to me coming home? I’m really nervous about seeing him again; it’s been so long now.’

‘We haven’t really talked about you, Lili. I never wanted to bring it up, in case it hurt him to think about things. But I do know he hasn’t been the same since you left. He’s lost the smile you gave him. And the sadness that was there before he met you has returned with a vengeance. I don’t know any more than that, however.’

This lack of optimism in Crystal was unsettling. She was usually so positive, always looking on the bright side of any situation, and saying that things would work out. Why wasn’t she saying that this time? Why was she just looking at me, not offering any hope? It felt as though a knife had been stuck into my heart.

Maybe I really had blown it; maybe by leaving, and not trusting him to look after us, I had hurt him too deeply. I was about to lose Ceylona. Had I already lost Sam?

I gritted my teeth, and yelled at myself to snap out of it. It had been a long day, and I was dead tired. Exhaustion was making it hard to think straight, but there would no doubt be an explanation. I just needed to talk to him.

We sat there for a few minutes, both of us staring into the middle of this quiet, darkened room. Eventually Crystal spoke.

‘I have to go into Northam tonight. Jenny’s husband is there.’

It took me a moment to remember who Jenny was. Of course, the pregnant woman who I’d met at dinner. She was staying in the room I had each time I’d given birth.

‘Her husband?’

‘Yes. Mladen wants me to try to remove the vampire contagion from him. He’s at a bed & breakfast, in Northam.’

‘Oh.’ So she was going to try to do for him what she hadn’t wanted to do for Sam—return him to a normal human.

I could tell she saw the look on my face when she replied, ‘He’s only just become a vampire, Lili. It’s only been a few months.’

I didn’t say anything, but sat there recalling the reasons she hadn’t been able to do this for Sam. She’d felt it was too risky; her tears might not return him to a twenty-four year old human, but rather a hundred and seventy-something year old human. She was afraid he could turn to dust right before her eyes. Crystal had refused. I had agreed with her decision … but Sam had wanted to take that chance so we could be together, as humans. He’d loved me that much he was prepared to die for me … surely then, he must still love me, mustn’t he?

‘What should I do, Crystal? Should I just go home, and wait for him to come in and talk to me?’

‘Oh, Lili, you don’t know, do you?’ she asked, the slightest of frowns casting a shadow on her beautiful face.

‘Don’t know what?’ I asked, feeling like the knife had been shoved even deeper into my heart.

‘Sam moved out of the house—your house.’

‘He moved?’

The knife was now being twisted. I felt betrayed. Couldn’t he at least have sent me a message to say he’d moved? I know I didn’t have many things there, but I had some. It had been my home too.

‘It’s only just happened. We were feeling a bit … nervous about being watched, so Michael and I moved. And Sam and Tom, well, they’re staying with us for a while. We’re very careful about how we come and go. We haven’t moved far, just into a little laneway back behind the markets. Since neither Sam nor Tom sleep, and barely even come in these days, it hasn’t been a problem at all, and it was meant to be just for a little while. I suppose you could stay with us as well.’

‘Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll stay with Debs. It’s fine.’

It wasn’t fine. That was just something you say. I was crushed. My husband had moved and not felt the need to even let me know. I felt like I was no longer even a small part of his life.

‘Please, don’t be upset,’ she said, placing one of her hands over mine. ‘Really, it hasn’t been that long ago. Both Tom and Sam have been so busy I don’t even think they’ve set up the computer.’

So, maybe that explained the lack of emails. But they’d stopped quite some time ago … not just a few months ago.

‘When, exactly, was it?’ I asked, feeling the frown on my face as I tried to recall just when Sam’s emails had stopped completely.

‘Well, it wasn’t that long ago … a few months? Or … perhaps it’s been a bit longer than that … last winter I suppose, so that’s what, oh my, more like ten months ago … or it could be almost a year I suppose. But you know how time is for us … that seems like only moments ago.’

Okay, so that could explain why he’d stopped replying to my emails. But it still didn’t explain the phone.

‘So, what were they planning to do? Is Sam going to find another house? Surely his things … furniture … are they in storage?’ It didn’t really matter—I was just jabbering while my mind continued to race.

‘Yes, Sam certainly intends to find another house. But I don’t know if he’s looked yet. As I said, all they seem to do is walk around patrolling … they don’t really need a home as you know. Not really. So I suppose it hasn’t been a high priority. But I’m sure that now you’ve come back—well, this does change things.’

‘You don’t need to make excuses for him. I’ll ring Debs. I’m sure it will be fine for me to stay there until I decide what to do. I mean, I don’t know whether Sam will want me to stay, or whether I should just go back to California.’

‘Oh, I’m sure Sam wouldn’t want that.’

‘Are you? Are you sure, Crystal?’

‘Get some rest, Lili. I’ll see you in the morning. Things will work out as they should. They always do.’

~ Chapter Eight ~

Rest wasn’t something that came easy—not that first night, and not the next few either. I couldn’t stop stressing over the uncertainty of how things stood with Sam, and I was plagued by the knowledge that in a few days I’d have to let go of Ceylona.

Letting go of Ceylona—even saying the words was hard. But watching her with Ben and Henry made it infinitely clear that she belonged here. I was the one that was out of place. I was out of sorts and missing her company already because for the first time in over three years, she didn’t need me. Ben and Henry monopolised her time—and between them and Sebastian, her days were spent getting to know the school, its grounds, and the way of life she would have for the foreseeable future. Indeed, their influence was having a big effect—her vocabulary was expanding exponentially, and even though she had just turned three, each evening she would explain her whole day’s activities to me in a great amount of detail.

During the day, Ceylona didn’t need me. And Crystal was nowhere to be seen. I assumed she was simply busy with Mladen—planning classes for Ceylona perhaps. Whatever it was, she hardly seemed to remember that I was around at all.

At least Jenny appreciated my company. I think having me there, as someone that had gone through exactly what she was going through, was a relief for her. And so for those first few days we walked around the grounds, and swam, and chatted. Occasionally we’d sit quietly and I would try to read, but that was useless because I couldn’t even focus on the words—all I could do was think about Sam and how desperate I was to see him. If Jenny and I weren’t talking, the thoughts went round and round in my head as I tried to convince myself that there was no basis for my worrying. I went back and forth, one minute making excuses for his lack of communication, and then the next getting mad at him for being so distant. Then I’d get mad at myself for not being understanding enough.

And then there was Angelica. I was keeping a close eye on her ever since I’d caught her looking admiringly at Ben that first night. On a few occasions I spotted her trying to pin him down in conversation, and it made my skin crawl; I couldn’t imagine her as my daughter-in-law. Luckily, when Jenny’s baby arrived, both Ben and Henry were fascinated with him. Between spending time with the baby and with Ceylona, Ben seemed to have little time for Angelica. I couldn’t help secretly smiling when I saw him cut short her attempts at conversation on more than one occasion.

But unlike Ben and Henry, Crystal seemed to have plenty of time for Angelica. And if I was to be honest with myself, I had to admit that this made me more than a little jealous.

But at least there was one thing Crystal and Angelica’s friendship didn’t extend to; Crystal had asked me not to mention anything about Jenny’s husband. She said it was to be our secret, and that the others, including Angelica, weren’t to be told. I found it hard to wipe the smile off my face when I remembered Crystal saying that. At least I had this one bit of insight into Crystal that Angelica didn’t have. Crystal was my friend. We had a special bond, and I took great pleasure from that knowledge.

~~***~~

Debs was thrilled when I rang to say I was at Mladen’s. And when I explained that Sam was staying at Crystal’s and that it was a small home, she said of course I could stay with her for as long as I liked. She even said that Sam was welcome to stay too, for that matter. She just had one little favour; she wanted me to ask Mladen if it would be alright for her to come over for a visit—to meet Ben and Henry, to see Ceylona again and of course, to meet Mladen himself.

Mladen was flattered when I went to speak to him.

‘My aunt Debs … she’d like to come here—to meet you, and Ben and Henry. She knows pretty much everything. I mean, after all, Francis was her grandfather,’ I said, trying to justify why I’d told her about him.

‘Of course she knows about us, Lili. I can hear the hesitation in your voice, but you needn’t be concerned. I’m sure your aunt can be trusted with what she knows. And by all means, it would be a pleasure to have her visit for a few days.’

‘That’s wonderful, Mladen. I mean, I know it’s more crowded here than usual, having Ceylona back, and now Mark. Not to mention Angelica.’

‘Angelica? Well, yes, she and Crystal are here as well as you, but really, it’s no trouble. We enjoy the distraction of visitors.’

‘So, I can tell her she can visit for a few days then?’

‘Yes, by all means. She can stay as long as she wishes—just as you may. And I daresay Crystal and Angelica will also stay until you leave.’

‘Crystal and Angelica? But I thought Angelica was staying here at the school—like, all the time? I mean, when we leave, she will stay on, won’t she?’

‘No, my dear. She’s staying with Crystal. I thought you knew that. She came to learn from Crystal—not from us here at the school. She arrived here the same day you did—with Crystal.’

I suddenly felt like my head was being squeezed in a vice grip. Angelica was staying with Crystal? Hadn’t it occurred to Crystal that I might like to know that this strange woman was staying in the same house as my husband? I felt deceived, not to mention entirely overwrought with jealousy. Had Crystal deliberately misled me, or had she just assumed I knew? I shook my head, and tried to regain some sort of composure, then thanked Mladen for being so understanding about Debs’ interest in everything. Then I excused myself and went up to my room.

I sat on the end of the bed for ages, torn between jealousy and some other emotion I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Was it anger, or something else? Angelica was staying with Crystal. And so was Sam. Did that have anything to do with his lack of communication? Was she behind that somehow? Of course I was being ridiculous, wasn’t I? Surely, if Angelica was interested in anyone, it was Ben, right? I mean, she’d been batting her eyelashes at him every chance she got, wasn’t she? One side of me, the logical side, knew I was over-reacting. But the other side of me—the fragile side that was upset about having to leave Ceylona soon, and nervous about seeing my estranged husband—wasn’t so sure.

When I regained some level of composure, I rang Debs back with the news. It was the shortest conversation I’d ever had with my normally chatty aunt—she wanted to get off the phone so she could book her flight and a car. She rang back a few minutes later to say she’d see me at the end of the week. It was then that I raised my concerns about Sam, and as always, Debs was clear-headed with her advice.

‘Ring him, Lili. Speak to him. Better to know the truth, than to keep fretting over what may or may not be.’

‘But he doesn’t answer my calls.’

‘Well then, borrow Crystal’s phone. Surely she has a mobile phone? Tell her your battery has gone flat.’

‘Oh, I never thought of that.’

‘Obviously.’

‘But what if he doesn’t want to speak to me? What if he doesn’t want us to be together? What if he cuts me off … or hangs up on me.’

‘Lili, just call him. I think you’re worrying for nothing.’

~~***~~

I was sure it had only been a few days since Jenny had given birth to little Mark, but the morning I came downstairs to find a handsome young man in the foyer, I realised that Jenny must be getting ready to leave. Sure enough, a few minutes later I heard her coming along the hall, dragging her suitcase behind her. Then, the moment she spotted the man, she seemed to virtually light up. This was obviously her husband; her human husband. She walked up to him and took his hand, and he bent down and kissed her cheek and murmured something in her ear. She smiled at him, and then turned to me.

‘How do you do it?’ she asked me, in a voice that spoke of overwhelming sadness.

‘Do it?’ I replied, although I was pretty sure I knew what she meant.

‘You know, leave them—your children,’ she said, sniffing back a tear.

I supposed it was different for her than it had been for me with Ben and then Henry. Her husband was now a normal human again, and they’d be going back to Tasmania, most likely never to return. It was quite possible that they would never see their son again.

‘Well, I suppose it gave me such pleasure to know that I’d created something, someone, so special, that I was able to put the pain aside for the sake of the greater good. Mark will be fine. And you’ll see him again one day. And he’ll be handsome and strong and magical. You’ll see.’ I didn’t say to her that I had always stayed for two weeks with them, and had also always known that I would see my boys again. I didn’t need to rub any of that in.

Jenny smiled at me, and took my hand for a moment, and I could feel that she was shaking. I struggled to hold back a tear, but it was not for her. In a few days’ time, I would once again be leaving my child behind. Only this time would be very different to the others. With Ben and Henry, it had all happened so fast I’d barely had time to get used to the idea of being a mother—there’d been no routine established, no lifestyle changes made. But this time I’d be leaving Ceylona; my little angel that I’d rarely been apart from for over three years. No, this time was very different indeed.

I walked Jenny and her husband to the front gates, and watched as they got into the waiting taxi. They looked so happy together sitting next to each other on the back seat. Jenny turned and waved, and it reminded me of another taxi that had waited for me in that same spot. I felt my throat tighten, but I waved vigorously, refusing to give in to tears.

I was going to lose Ceylona—that was a fact. But would I also lose Sam? What if Sam didn’t want me back? Would I leave Melbourne? And if I did, would I ever see him, or my children, again?

I hadn’t gotten up the nerve yet to ring Sam. I’d been busy with Jenny, or at least, that had been my excuse. But Debs was arriving tomorrow, so I needed to find the courage to simply ring him, and talk. Today.

~~***~~

I was saved from having to make the call however, when just after Jenny and her husband departed, Ceylona came running in to talk to me.

‘Mommy, there are no dogs here. Do you think Mladen would let me have a dog? There’s lots of room outside. This is a very big place!’

‘Well, I don’t know. Perhaps we should ask your Aunty Crystal what she thinks, how does that sound?’

‘Oh, yes. That’s a good idea, isn’t it?’

‘Shall we go look for her now?’

‘Yes, please, Mommy. I would love to have my very own real dog. Ah-chee won’t mind. He can still sleep on my bed but a real dog would sleep outside, wouldn’t he Mommy?’

I had to laugh at that. From the way she’d said it, I figured she’d probably been thinking about this for several days. She probably had it all worked out, and had no doubt even picked out a spot for a dog house.

I grabbed her hand and we went off in search of Crystal. After a few minutes, we spotted her in the distance, in the rose garden with Angelica.

Crystal smiled and waved when she saw us. Ceylona pulled free of my hand and ran the rest of the way into the waiting arms of Crystal, who picked her up and swung her around like a rag doll. Angelica watched them, then when Crystal put Ceylona down Angelica leaned over and said something quietly to Crystal. Then she left with just a slight wave goodbye, not waiting for me to join them.

When I got close enough to hear them, it was obvious that Ceylona had already asked Crystal what she thought of the idea of getting a dog.

‘Well, I don’t see why not. But don’t you think one dog would be lonely, at night and when you’re in your classes? Perhaps we should ask Mladen about getting two dogs? What do you think of that?’

‘Oh, yes please, Aunty Crystal. I would love to have two dogs. Like Ted and Alice.’

She’d obviously remembered the names of the two dogs from the incident at Coyote Point.

Crystal smiled at her, then looked up at me and gave me this knowing look. ‘Ceylona, tell me about Ted and Alice. Who are they?’

‘Ted and Alice were the doggies that the lady had. Ted was black and Alice was yellow. Well, I didn’t think she looked yellow, but she said she was yellow.’

‘Who said she was yellow, Ceylona?’

‘Alice did. She said she was a Yellow Labrador, and Ted was a Black Labrador.’

‘Oh, I see. So, they talked to you, did they?’

‘Yes, of course, silly,’ Ceylona replied, scrunching up her face with a “don’t you know anything” kind of look.

‘So, go on. How did you come to know Ted and Alice?’

‘Well, the lady was running—and they were with her. They wanted to come say hello to me, but she called them and they had to obey her. Then the bad man came. And Mommy picked me up and we went to protect the lady. He was a bad man—I think he was going to hurt the lady.’

‘I see. And how did you know he was a bad man, Ceylona?’

‘He had red eyes, and pale skin, and he smelled terrible. And I could hear his tummy growl like mine does when I’m hungry—only his was a bit different.’

Crystal looked up at me, and again gave me that same knowing look, and a slight nod.

‘And so, your Mommy picked you up and you went to help the lady?’

‘Yes, Mommy is a fast runner,’ Ceylona said, looking at me with a wide smile brightening her beautiful little face.

‘And then what happened, sweetie?’

‘When we got to the lady, I told Mommy to put me down, and I asked Ted and Alice to come help us because the bad man was going to hurt their master. They were very happy to help. They stood on each side of me, and growled at the bad man. If I had asked them to, they would have hurt him. But he got scared, and he ran away instead.’

‘Oh, I see. Well, Ted and Alice were certainly very nice doggies. And Ceylona, were there other dogs that you talked to, or was it just Ted and Alice?’

‘Oh yes, I talked to all the doggies at the park. And the nice doggies that Aunty Raye brought to my birthday party. They pulled me in a sled. That was fun,’ she said, giggling.

‘Well, I think we should find Mladen, and see what he thinks about getting you two dogs then. I think it is a good idea, Ceylona. But I can’t promise he will agree. We will have to ask him nicely, won’t we?’

‘Oh, yes, Aunty Crystal. We will ask him nicely. And I will take good care of the doggies. I will feed them, and play with them. And I won’t ever let anyone hurt them.’