Deception (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 3) (10 page)

‘Hey, Lili, I’m back,’ said Claire, laughing as she dragged the word out.

‘Hi Claire. You’re back? So, what, are you in Melbourne?’

‘Melbourne? No, I’m in San Francisco. Where are you? Are you in Melbourne?’ she asked, her voice incredulous.

I realised I hadn’t spoken to Claire since just before the incident at Coyote Point. This was her final year at UCLA, and the last time we’d spoken she’d mentioned that her Dad was taking her to London for a graduation present. I guess that was where she was back from.

‘Uh, yeah I am … but hey, how was the trip?’ I asked, changing the subject back to her.

‘Oh, the trip was fabulous! I can’t wait to show you all the clothes I bought. I’m coming home next week. I tell you what, I’m so over LA—I mean, really, it’s been an experience, but I’m glad I have Melbourne to go home to, that’s for sure. So, have you seen Tom? Has he said anything about me?’

Yep, Claire was still Claire—degree or no degree. ‘Uh, no. I mean, I’ve only just arrived myself. I’m staying with Debs at the moment. I haven’t even seen Sam yet.’

‘Oh,’ she said, obviously surprised. ‘You haven’t seen Sam yet? So … are you going to try to patch things up with him? Or have you gone over to sign divorce papers and all that?’

‘No, no, I’m not … I mean, we’re not getting a divorce. I’m here to patch things up. I mean, I’ve spoken to him … we want to try.’

‘That’s cool. Really. Maybe we can do a double date when I get back then. What do you think? Do you think Tom would want to?’

‘Well … I don’t see why not, but like I said, I haven’t seen him. They moved, you see.’

‘Moved? Moved, like, away from town?’

‘No, just in with Michael and Crystal for the moment, while they look for a new house.’

‘Oh, I see … so it’s a bit crowded. Ah, that’s why you’re staying with Debs. That makes sense.’

‘Yeah, well, I’m planning to see Sam tonight. If I see Tom, I’ll say hello for you, and suss out whether he’d be interested in doing something when you get back.’

‘Ah, thanks, that’d be awesome. I hope so. Now that I’m coming back for good, it would be great to sort of pick up where we left things … hey, we could do that trip to the Grampians. You know, we never did get back up there.’

‘Sure, Claire. Sounds good. Look, I’m shopping with Debs now, so, can I call you back? Maybe tomorrow, as it must be late for you?’

‘Oh, yeah, sure. It’s just after ten—but yeah, I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Have fun shopping, and don’t forget to say hello to Tom for me. Bye.’

Debs pursed her lips in a sort of a mock scolding, then said, ‘Well, I thought you’d never get off that phone. I take it that was Claire?’

‘Uh, yeah, sorry about that.’

‘No worries. Now, have a look at what I’ve picked out here. Go try these on, and I’ll hold your jacket,’ she said, loading me up with a stack of clothes and pushing me toward the change rooms.

~~***~~

By six-thirty, my patience was completely gone. Sam was meant to have rung
last
night. And here it was getting well into the evening, and still no call. I picked up my phone and pressed his name in the directory. He answered on the first ring.

‘Hello?’

‘Hello, Sam. It’s me, Lili, you know … your wife?’

‘Ah, Lili, you won’t believe this, but something happened to my phone again. All the numbers and history got wiped out—completely gone. I was trying to ring you last night, but I couldn’t remember the number.’

‘I think you better get a new phone, Sam. The one you have sounds like it’s past its use-by date,’ I said, trying to make light of it, even though I was seething inside.

‘Yeah, I’m going to get a new one tomorrow. This is ridiculous. I’m so sorry.’

‘You could have gotten the number from Crystal, you know.’

‘Oh, well … I suppose I didn’t think of that. But I would have, eventually … if you hadn’t called. I did stop by the apartment today, but you weren’t there.’

‘We were out shopping.’

‘Ah, yes … I figured as much,’ he said, but then there was silence on the line.

‘So, how are you?’ I struggled to find the right question. I wanted to know what he was thinking, how he was feeling—about me, and about us.

‘Yeah, good. And you? How was the flight from Perth?’

‘Fine. So, when will I see you?’

‘Do you have plans tomorrow? Can I pick you up and take you for a drive somewhere?’

‘That would be nice,’ I replied, trying to hide the fact that I was still feeling let down that he hadn’t called.

‘Okay, let’s say around ten o’clock? I’ll pick you up and we can go for a drive. Would you like to go over to Williamstown? Remember that beach we went to—just before you left? It’ll be quiet there.’

Did I remember the beach? I’d only thought about it nearly every day for the past three years—picturing us sitting there as we said our last goodbyes. ‘Perfect. I want to go for a run in the morning so that gives me time to come home and shower afterwards. I’ll wear something warm this time. Downstairs at ten o’clock it is.’

‘Great. And Lili, I really am sorry about the phone. There’s a place in Elizabeth Street that’s open late. I’ll go right now, and get a new one.’

‘Okay. You know … I’ve really missed you,’ I said, the last bit of resentment now gone. I mean, it didn’t matter who called who just so long as I could be with him tomorrow.

‘And I’ve missed you too,’ he said and his voice sort of trailed off like he was going to say more, but he didn’t.

After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke again, ‘Sleep well, my love. I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘Alright then. Good night.’

~ Chapter Thirteen ~

I’d never been one to focus on clothes, so this sudden obsession surprised me. But I hadn’t seen Sam for almost three years. It was probably best if I made some effort to make a good impression. Where had I heard that? Debs had said it, of course. But it was true, wasn’t it?

After going through every piece of clothing I had with me, I finally put on a pair of black jeans and a rust coloured pullover sweater and my oldest runners. Debs mightn’t approve, but I felt right. Besides, we were just going to the beach.

Finally, at five minutes to ten, I grabbed my black hoodie and made my way downstairs. As I walked through the foyer and out onto the kerb, I could see his black BMW parked in a visitor spot. When he saw me he leaned over and opened the car door from the inside. He called out my name and then a smile lit up his gorgeous face. Balance had been restored to the universe; Sam was still my husband, and that was all that mattered.

~~***~~

It was cold on the beach, but that was to be expected in July. The weather man had said it would be a top of eighteen today, but it was nowhere near that yet. There was low cloud, and although the breeze coming off the water was gentle, it felt icy cold on my face and hands.

As we walked along the beach, the conversation was stilted. He asked all the polite questions about the trip over, and how Ceylona was coping with Mladen’s school. And he wanted to hear the whole story, about what had happened to make me realise she was a dhampira. But he didn’t ask anything about me, or my feelings, or about what I wanted to do now. What I wanted, right now, was for him to put his arms around me and hold me, but he seemed to want to keep his distance.

I kept thinking about when we’d first met … and how he’d claimed he didn’t ‘mix’ well with people. Perhaps by not working at the market any longer his people skills had simply deteriorated. But it was me, not some random person. Surely, he could ‘mix’ with me?

As we walked along a bit further I spotted a restaurant part way along the beach, and I headed toward it, hoping it might be open so I could get a hot coffee. When we reached it I could see it was closed, but at least it would provide some protection from the wind, so I headed around the corner.

‘Gees, it’s so cold today,’ I said, shivering a little.

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve got a coat in the back of the car … would you like me to run back and get it?’

‘No, it’s okay. Just let me warm up a bit, here out of the wind.’

‘I’m sorry … about coming here I mean. I’d forgotten how delicate you are. You know it’s all the same to me … hot, cold … doesn’t make any difference. But of course, you feel the cold weather.’

‘Yeah, it’s okay. It’s my fault; I should’ve brought a heavier coat. I know what beaches are like.’ We were still avoiding the real issue. Talking about the weather was such a copout.

We stood there for a few minutes, neither of us talking. The silence was so awkward, and I imagined that I could almost feel his tension. It seemed as if he wanted to touch me, but something was holding him back. Or was that just wishful thinking on my part? Trying to blame his indifference on some external force, rather than admit he might not actually be as attracted to me as he once was.

‘So … have you seen any houses that might, you know, be right for us?’

‘Sorry, I haven’t really looked,’ he replied, looking down at the ground. Was he embarrassed? Was that why he wouldn’t make eye contact?

My throat tightened. He hadn’t had time to look, or didn’t want to look?

‘But you do want to, don’t you? I mean, now that I’m back … you want us to be together again, right?’

‘Yes, of course I do ... I mean, if you do, then I do,’ he stammered, a deep frown creasing his forehead as he spoke.

‘Well, I do … definitely,’ I said, firmly.

‘Okay, I’m sure we’ll find something ... I mean, of course we’ll find something,’ he said, finally looking up at me.

I couldn’t read his face. It wasn’t sad and it wasn’t angry, but I couldn’t sense any joy either. It almost seemed like there was no emotion at all.

‘What is it Sam? You sound so unsure of this. Isn’t it what you want?’

He just stared at me, his eyes piercing mine with their intensity for a moment, until he looked down at the ground again. When he finally spoke his voice was soft and low—almost apologetic.

‘Maybe we were wrong, Lili. Maybe I was wrong … to ask you to marry me. It isn’t natural … for us to be together. When time passed without any sign from Ceylona, well, I thought she was human after all, and that you’d stay away. It’s not that I haven’t missed you … I’ve missed you more than you’ll ever know. But it felt like … it felt … I don’t know … I guess it seemed like it was right. I mean … I don’t deserve you.’

My throat tightened further, to the point where I couldn’t swallow. The longer he talked, the harder it was for me to breath. When he stopped talking, I looked away and brushed the tears from my eyes. I shook my head, and gritted my teeth, willing myself to find the strength to speak.

‘Sam, don’t say it was wrong. Don’t ever say that. It wasn’t wrong, it can’t be wrong. We
are
meant to be together. And what do you mean you don’t deserve me? That’s ridiculous. If anything, I don’t deserve you.’

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said it like that. I mean, it’s just not natural. Vampires stick together … and when they don’t … well, bad things seem to happen.’

‘Bad things? What, like Ben, Henry and Ceylona? They certainly aren’t bad things. They’re miracles,’ I said, taking a deep breath. ‘How can you say that it isn’t natural for us to be together? Sure, there are challenges, but we can overcome them. Please, don’t say we were wrong. Don’t ever say that.’

He stepped forward and put his arms around me, and pulled me close. I buried my face into his chest, trying to suppress the tears that were streaming down my face. He ran his fingers through my hair, and pulled me even closer, whispering how sorry he was, over and over. It felt so wonderful, being in his arms. I wished it could have been for a reason besides the one that had triggered it, but I was just happy to have him hold me.

After a time, he loosened his hold, and took a step back. Then he took one hand and put it under my chin, lifting my face so that he could kiss away my tears. When his lips found mine, I lost all sense of time and gravity, and I no longer felt the cold as I floated along in a state of pure contentment.

‘You’re sure about this, then? I mean, you could still go back to California you know.’

‘Sam, please. Can we stop talking about splitting up, and start looking for a new house? I want to be here, with you, more than anything in the world.’

‘Alright then, I’ll help you look for a house … today … if that’s what you want to do.’

I threw my arms around him, and squeezed as tight as I could, holding onto the moment.

‘That’s exactly what I want to do. Thank you.’

He smiled, and it was as if all the doubt and hesitation had been washed away. No, it was more than that. It was as if there had never been any doubt or hesitation. Everything was back to how it should be. We’d look for a new house. We’d start a new life. And who knows, maybe we’d even have some more children. After all, that was natural. That was how things were meant to be for us. That was our destiny, wasn’t it?

~~***~~

‘Will you stay the night,’ I asked, after we’d spent several hours mulling through a variety of websites for houses that were worth looking at on the weekend. We’d found a few, but not many.

‘No, I can’t stay. It wouldn’t be right … not here. Besides, I’ve been away too long already; I really need to check in with Michael, and find Tom.’

‘Oh, okay. So, will I see you tomorrow then?’

‘Sure. Will you go for a run in the morning?’

‘If it isn’t raining,’ I replied, then quickly deciding that it didn’t matter whether it was raining or not, I continued, ‘I mean, I’ll go for a run, no matter what the weather is doing.’

‘Okay, I’ll look for you in the gardens then.’

We both stood up, and walked to the door. I opened it, and as I did he grabbed my left hand, and lifted it to his lips. I was wearing my sapphire wedding ring, as I always did. He kissed my hand, then fondled the ring, turning it around and around on my finger.

‘I’ve always worn it, you know,’ I whispered, enjoying the sensation of his hand lightly touching mine. It made me want him to stay, even more than ever.

‘I know,’ he said, smiling down at me, his eyes filled with emotion now—whatever had been bothering him on the beach seemed long forgotten.

‘I would never have betrayed our vows,’ I said.

‘I know, Lili. I never doubted that. I just thought, maybe … it might have been for the best.’

I cut him off by reaching up with my right hand, and placing my fingers across his mouth. ‘Shush—I don’t want to talk about that anymore. Really, this is what’s best; you and me, together. We’ll work things out.’

‘Yes, we will,’ he said as he bent down to kiss me, then pulled me close and whispered in my hair, ‘I’ll wait for you, near the bench where you first met Elizabeth. I’ve been neglecting her lately. I must spend some time with her too. What time do you think you’ll be there?’

‘Around eight-thirty?’

‘Okay, I’ll be there,’ he said, then stepped back again and leaned down to kiss me once more. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth from his kiss wash over me, giving me the strength to let him go.

~~***~~

I met Sam at Elizabeth’s bench the next morning as planned. I got there first, and much to my disappointment, when Sam arrived he was cool and distant again, sitting a few feet away from me and not making eye contact. But after a little while he started to relax and eventually he took my hand, and encouraged me to slide over next to him. We sat like this for quite some time—neither of us saying much. But I didn’t care that we didn’t talk—I was just enjoying getting to know my husband again.

Elizabeth never turned up. Maybe she was playing somewhere and didn’t even know we were there, or maybe she’d seen us and decided to give us time together. That could have been it, as it was unusual for her to not come when Sam was looking for her.

Eventually Sam got restless, and said he needed to get going. When we parted, he kissed me goodbye; not passionately, but affectionately. I felt that we’d made some progress toward returning to how we were. Not a lot maybe, but some.

Friday morning was the same. It took Sam quite a while to relax around me, but eventually he held my hand as he had the previous morning, and after a time he seemed comfortable, and even laughed at one of my silly comments. Throwing his head back and laughing freely, he reminded me of the Sam I’d seen in Sydney—relaxed and carefree, if only for a moment.

Elizabeth joined us, with her friend Cassie, shortly after that. I wondered if it had been his laughing that encouraged her to come. The four of us sat there, chatting casually, and I couldn’t help but notice how happy Elizabeth looked. I wondered if this might be the most time Sam had spent with her for quite a while—she had said she hadn’t seen much of him lately. As I thought this, she turned to me and winked, then turned back to Sam with adoration in her eyes.

The next morning was Saturday, and we had six homes lined up to inspect. We looked at four houses and two large apartments. Sam wasn’t nearly as picky as me; saying that as long as it was within a five kilometres radius of the gardens and market, he would be happy. But I wanted something that I could make into a home. We needed at least three, and if possible, four bedrooms. I wanted to set up a room for Ceylona so that she would feel comfortable visiting anytime she wanted to, or even stay with us when she finished at Mladen’s. Then there was Tom. And of course we’d need a spare room, for other visitors—like Ben and Henry. And I wanted something that was ready to move into straight away; I really wasn’t interested in doing renovations. Disappointingly, nothing seemed quite right. But at least Sam seemed relatively relaxed around me the whole time, and that in itself was an achievement.

Encouraged by what I perceived to be an improvement in Sam’s comfort level, I tried to convince him that he could stay with me at Debs’ apartment, but he seemed almost shy about it when he said he just didn’t feel right about staying. Then he strengthened his excuse, saying that he really needed to be out patrolling with Tom every night in any case. After some discussion, we agreed we’d just wait until we found something. We’d waited three years to be together; we could wait a little longer.

On Wednesday I heard from Claire. She had flown in that morning and said she was pretty knackered from the flight. We agreed to catch up when she felt better.

Thursday afternoon there seemed to be a lot of new listings on the internet, and I spent most of the day and into the night looking at houses. There were five new ones that I wanted to see and all would be open for inspection on Saturday. It would be a busy day but I was determined to find something.

That night I dreamt of staircases, and kitchen appliances, and entry foyers. When I woke, I felt like I’d been inspecting houses all night. Was this what it felt like to be an addict? Was I becoming a house hunting addict?

~~***~~

‘Hey, there are a couple of letters here for you,’ said Debs, holding two envelopes out to me. ‘This one is from Ceylona, but I’m not sure about the other.’

I’d just come in after my run and visit with Sam. It had been a good visit. Not spectacular, but he had held my hand and said he’d be happy to spend most of Saturday looking at houses with me again, so I felt pretty positive.

I sat down at the kitchen table with the envelopes, while Debs went to make us some coffees. I ripped open the one from Ceylona and pulled out the letter along with half a dozen photos of Ceylona and her dogs.

‘Read it out loud,’ said Debs, fiddling with the coffee maker.

‘Okay,’ I answered, and began reading:

Dear Mommy and Aunty Debs

Thank you so much for the camera. I’ve used up almost all the film but Mladen promised he would take me to town on the weekend so we can get some more. Do you like the photos of me with Jackie and Zane? They love being here with us. Mladen is happy too. He says that no more chickens have disappeared since Jackie and Zane joined the family.