Deceive (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #2) (21 page)

When we entered the house Phoebe practically launched herself into Alyssa’s arms with a squealed, “Mummy!”

I held my breath as I watched their interactions. It damn near made my heart explode. I felt breathless and anxious, but I wasn’t having a panic attack. At least, not yet. I had to stop myself from wrapping them both up in a group hug, choosing to walk over to Mum instead.

“Did you two have fun yesterday?” I asked.

Mum nodded. “How was your date?”

“It was fucking awesome, Mum.” I beamed. I saw Alyssa give me the evil eye when I said “fucking.” Shit, I’d have to watch my language.

“I need to talk to you before you go,” Mum said, wringing her hands together.

She turned toward the bedrooms, obviously wanting some privacy, which had the butterflies in my stomach kicking up their aerial acrobatics another notch. What could be so bad she didn’t want to say it in front of Alyssa? Or was it about her? I began to picture all the worst-case scenarios. The optimism Alyssa had accused me of having that morning seeped away as I followed Mum.

She walked into my room and shut the door behind us.

“You and Alyssa,” she prompted. “You seem to be getting back on track.”

I nodded, not willing to attempt to speak through the emotion and fear constricting my throat.

“I mean, I know you’ve got a long way to go, but she’s there for you, right?”

“I guess,” I squeezed out. “At least, I think so. I hope so.”

Mum sighed and seemed relieved. I felt the anxiety slip away a little. It couldn’t have been anything bad to do with Alyssa and me if Mum was relieved we seemed okay . . . could it?

“I’ve decided . . .,” she started, but trailed off.

“What is it, Mum? Tell me?” I spoke as softly as I could, trying to coax her around whatever nerves she was feeling.

“I’m leaving your father.” The words fell out in a tumble and seemed to take the last of her strength. She sat on the edge of my bed and stared into space.

Without thought, I sat next to her. It was probably a strange reaction, but I was happy for her. No, I was more than happy. I was fuck-arse thrilled for her. She needed to get away from that prick for her own confidence and sanity. More than that, she needed to burn him for everything he had. While I ran through the thoughts, I decided I’d have to talk to Alyssa to see if she knew any good divorce lawyers. No, not good ones—great ones. Ones that would take everything Dad owned except the shirt off his back, and maybe even that. I would cover the retainer if I had to. I didn’t care. It wasn’t about the money. It was about ensuring that bastard got what was coming to him for lying to me for so long.

“That’s great, Mum,” I said as softly as I could manage. I could see the look of devastation on her face, and realised that me whooping it up in celebration probably wasn’t such a good idea. At least, not for the moment. “If you need anything—anything at all—I’m here for you.”

She shook her head slightly and looked up at me, as if she’d forgotten I was there. “I was actually thinking of going away for a while. Far away.”

“Where?”

She shrugged. “Anywhere. I’ve just taken everything out of the savings account. That should keep me going for a while. I was thinking maybe London to start.”

“That’s sounds good,” I said. A smile lit my face. “It worked fucking wonders for me.”

“You’re not upset?” She sounded surprised.

“Why the fuck would I be upset?”

“Because I’m breaking up our family.”

“No, Mum, you’re not. That arsewipe broke up this family long ago when he began cheating on you.”
Plus insulting and spying on Alyssa
, I added mentally. I still owed him an arse whooping over that. I wondered if he understood that he’d be better off staying as far from me as possible while I was still in Brisbane. Just the thought of him being in that bathroom with Alyssa made my hands curl into tight fists that longed to connect with something.

“Declan, please don’t—” She was going to defend him.

I cut her off with an incredulous glare. “Look, Mum, I’m happy you’re leaving him. Ecstatic even, because he is a fucktard of a human being. He seriously needs to get a personality realignment or something. Until then, he can go to hell.”

“I don’t want to cause problems between you and your father.”

“
You
aren’t. Any problems are of his own doing.”

She shook her head. “Declan—”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I cut her off. It was clear that arguing with her wasn’t going to help either of us. “I think it’s great you’re going away. Do this for yourself. Alyssa and I will be fine without you. Like you said, we’re heading down the right track at least. You need to be selfish for a while. So book your fucking ticket and go.”

“It’s booked,” she whispered.

“Excellent. When do you leave?”

“Wednesday week.”

Fuck
! I looked around the room in a blind panic, trying to calm myself. If Mum left a week from Wednesday, that meant I only had a week and a half of accommodation in Brisbane. I couldn’t stay with Dad on my own. I’d beat the living shit out of him on the first day.

I shuddered as I considered whether he’d use the opportunity to move Hayley, his little tramp, into our family home. Would Mum want to leave the house sooner? I wondered for a second if Alyssa would let me stay with her, but it was too early for that still. As much as I slept better when she was beside me, it wasn’t fair to Phoebe to tell her I was her daddy and then force myself into her life and into her house within a week.

“Have you talked to Dad?” I asked, tentatively.

“Not yet. I’m going to tell him not to bother coming home though. He’s got an apartment near the city he doesn’t think I know about. He can stay there.”

I nodded, breathing a sigh of relief for myself. “Is that where
she
lives?”

Mum nodded sadly and wiped an errant tear from her face. “But I’m ruining your day here.” She plastered on a fake smile. “I’ll be all right. You go have fun with your two beautiful girls.”

I pulled her into a hug. “You don’t want to come with us?”

She shook her head. “No, I want you and Alyssa to have some alone time. Lord knows you need it. And you need to bond with that precious little thing, Declan. Don’t make the same mistakes your father did.”

“I won’t.” I couldn’t. Whenever I thought of Phoebe, I felt nothing but regret for how much time I’d already lost. Fatherhood might not have been the plan, but I wasn’t going to shirk away from it—from her—now that it had found me.

I stood, helped Mum to her feet, and then gave her shoulders a quick squeeze.

Alyssa turned to me with a confused expression when I came back into the living room.

“You okay?” she mouthed.

I smiled and nodded. I was about to spend the day with the two most precious things to me.

Who wouldn’t be okay?

CHAPTER NINETEEN: WIGGLE ROOM

ANXIOUS TO GET the day underway, I helped Alyssa load Phoebe and her gear into the car. When I got the car on the road, my hands shook and my mouth was dry.

Glancing in the rear-view mirror as Phoebe wiggled in her car seat to the music on the radio, I wondered whether it was possible I was actually more anxious to get the white elephant out in the open than the events of the day. Each time I looked at her, my heartbeat ramped up a notch, and I grew more terrified of her possible reaction to the news. The truth was, she didn’t know me. Hell,
I
barely knew me anymore. The concerns I had over telling her the truth raced around my head as if running laps on a track.

How could I force myself into her life so fast? How were we even going to begin to tell her? Would she even understand when we did tell her? Would the word “daddy” mean anything to her?

The question brought to mind the afternoon I’d spent in the park with her and Alyssa. From what I recalled of that day, it was clear she would absolutely understand. She would know what the word meant, at least in the broader sense. Which meant she would either accept what we told her, or reject me outright. Either way, there was not a damn fucking thing I could do about it.

My heart could be crushed under the heel of a three-year-old’s boot. What would I do if she said she didn’t want me to be her daddy?

From across the car, Alyssa’s hand reached for mine, snapping me from my thoughts. She must’ve sensed my blind panic creeping up. Taking my hand in hers, she gave it a light squeeze. It was her silent way of letting me know she was there for me. With her touch, the fear dissipated. The anxiety still ran as an undercurrent through me, but the suffocating terror disappeared. I gave her a small smile of thanks before turning back to the road.

“Where are you taking us anyway?” Alyssa asked. I still hadn’t told her exactly where we were going, even though she’d insisted I needed to let her know the details so she could pack Phoebe’s bag. All I’d told her was that we were going to be out for the whole day.

“You’ll see.” I kept my eyes trained on the road. The truth was at that point, I had so many conflicting emotions and thoughts in my head that it wouldn’t take much for her to get the answer from me. She’d find out soon enough anyway. We were already over halfway to the Gold Coast and about ten minutes from my planned destination.

I hoped to give Phoebe the best day out I possibly could, and the theme parks in Queensland were world renowned. I had done a little research to find out the best one for kids under four, and all fingers pointed to Dreamworld or Sea World. I didn’t want to spend the entire fucking day watching sea animals doing stupid tricks, so that left Dreamworld. The moment I took the Coomera exit off the highway, Alyssa knew our destination.

“Dreamworld, Dec? Really?”

“I figured you two deserve a fu—” I caught myself just in time. “—treat.”

“But this is too much. I haven’t brought any food or anything with us. It’ll cost a fortune. I—I can’t afford it.” She almost seemed ashamed.

I frowned. The last thing I’d intended to do was make her feel inadequate. She also didn’t seem to understand one fundamental aspect. “It’s my shout.”

“No, I can’t expect you to pay, it’s too much. Have you seen—”

I put my finger on her lips to cut her off. “I said my shout. Now, we’re going there, no arguments, and no worrying about what anything costs.”

She regarded me for a minute.

“Please?” I asked. “I’m sure Phoebe will love Wiggles World.”

Phoebe squealed and jumped around at the mention of the W word, and Alyssa was caught. It was a dirty trick on my part, but I didn’t care. Not if it got me what I wanted.

“Fine.”

With a victorious grin, I climbed out of the car.

It wasn’t until I reached the queue to get in that I discovered my mistake. I’d been so focused on Alyssa, and on Phoebe, that I hadn’t grabbed my usual coverings. Without a hat and sunnies, my trademark auburn hair and turquoise eyes drew the attention of everyone around. Almost instantly, I was plagued by people wanting my autograph. I wanted to tell them all to fuck off, that I was trying to have a day with my daughter, but I couldn’t. I was stuck between looking like an arse if I said yes and looking like a prick if I said no. Instead, I stood and signed everything that was pressed in front of my face. In the end Alyssa came to my side, brandishing the entry tickets.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I said. Then I dropped my voice, “I’m sorry, I’ve ruined it already—haven’t I?” I ruined everything just by being Declan fucking Reede.

She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. Besides, look how happy you’ve made them.”

She indicated a family nearby. One of the men who’d got me to sign something passed it to his young son. At a guess, I would have said the boy was nine or ten, fucked if I knew for sure, but the smile on his face as he looked at the grubby pen mark I’d left on his hat was mind-boggling. It actually meant something to him.

Watching the look of rapture on the little boy’s face, I was awed, and more than a little humbled. I’d honestly never really paid much attention to the aftermath of an autograph frenzy. Usually, I was always more concerned with the cramp in my hand and the time I’d wasted. Trust Alyssa to notice the smaller, but infinitely more important, things like the look on one little boy’s face. I wrapped one arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you,” I murmured into her hair.

“For what?” she asked, clearly bemused.

“For being you.”

She smiled and dropped her head onto my shoulder.

After enjoying the hold for a moment, I clapped my hands. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

We walked through the entry gates, and I watched as Phoebe’s face lit up in excitement when she saw the fountain in the middle of the entrance. I didn’t get what the big deal was, it was just a fucking fountain, but the way her face exploded into a smile was just perfect. My own enthusiasm took over in response to the sight.

I crouched down in front of her. “Where would you like to go first, Phoebe? ABC Kids World or to see the animals?”

“Umm . . .” She looked around at the signs; the pure choice was obviously overwhelming.

“You’ve got tigers or the Wiggles and Giggle and Hoot.”

“Wiggles and Hoot.” She jumped a little as she spoke.

“Wiggles it is, because today, little miss,
you
are in charge.”

I stood and looked around to figure out which way we needed to go. I pointed in the right direction. “Thataway.”

Phoebe ran off excitedly. Linking hands with Alyssa, we followed closely behind. I wondered if Alyssa understood just how nervous I still was. She seemed to be letting me take charge and control the situation though, and for that I was thankful. I felt like I was being given the opportunity to bond with my little princess. Or maybe I was being monitored to see whether telling Phoebe was a bad idea.

When Phoebe came to a dead stop upon seeing the entry into ABC Kids World, I couldn’t help but chuckle. She turned to Alyssa, with eyes as wide as saucers. She was just too fucking cute.

Alyssa nodded but hung back, as if waiting for me to step up. When she caught my glance, she nodded slightly in Phoebe’s direction. My heart was in my throat as I crouched in front of Phoebe again.

“What do you think?” I asked her.

“Hoy there, hearty,” she said, moving her arm across her chest. Alyssa laughed, and I looked at them both like they’d gone nuts. In fact, I was sure they both had.

“It’s what Captain Feathersword says,” Alyssa explained. It still meant shit to me, but they both seemed to be enjoying the laugh they were having. I wasn’t about to spoil it by asking who the fuck Captain Feathersword was supposed to be. “That’s his boat behind you.”

I turned and there was a bright green-and-red cartoon-like pirate ship. Phoebe danced around, hopping from one leg to the other.

“Did you want to go look?” I asked.

She smiled brightly and nodded. “Yes, please.”

I held out my hand, and she took hold of my pinky without question before running off in the direction of the boat. Walking quickly to keep up with her, I let her drag me along everywhere she wanted to go.

Even though there wasn’t much for me to see in the area I didn’t care. Phoebe bounded from one end of the ship to the other before stopping at a porthole. Even standing on tiptoe, she was just a little too short to look out of it. I knelt next to her and let her stand on my leg to get the extra height. I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye and glanced in that direction. Alyssa was standing with a smile on her face and a camera in her hand.

“Sorry,” she said. “I couldn’t resist a photo op like that.”

I just smirked at her. The day would be full of shit I wouldn’t dream of doing on my own—kiddie rides and boring animals—but I knew I would endure every minute of it to keep the smiles fixed firmly on my girls’ faces.

“Declan—look.” Phoebe tugged on my shirt collar and pointed in the direction of a man in an over-the-top pirate costume. He had black pants and boots, a puffy white pirate shirt, and a red-and-gold vest. In his hand he clutched a massive purple-and-pink feather. On his head he wore a pirate hat with a matching feather. I couldn’t stifle the chuckle this time. Phoebe raced off toward him, dragging me along behind her.

Alyssa skipped up to my side. “
That’s
Captain Feathersword,” she whispered with a chuckle.

“Ahoy there, me hearties!” he exclaimed as we closed in on him. He crossed his hand, and “feathersword,” in front of his chest. Phoebe’s little action suddenly made perfect sense; obviously it was some sort of catchphrase.

As I drew closer, I saw a gleam of recognition in his eye. He knew who I was so I figured he couldn’t have been all bad. Kneeling down, he started talking to Phoebe and in an instant had her eating out of the palm of his hand. He was damned good at his job.

I saw the camera flash a couple of times before Alyssa called, “Group photo.”

Fuck me dead.
I could only imagine the damage photos of me next to a children’s entertainer might do to my career. When I saw how excited Phoebe was though, I sighed and manned up. I crouched on one side of Phoebe, while the good Captain took the other.

Alyssa took five or six damn photos before finally declaring she had a perfect one. To his credit, the poor sucker in the costume didn’t complain about the time Alyssa had taken, even though he had other kids practically clamouring to talk to him. Once she had the photo, he stood and whispered something to Alyssa; she giggled and nodded. Then she passed him a pen and paper. He handed it back a second later. Alyssa smiled at him again. I was beginning to wonder if I needed to kick some pirate booty.

Alyssa was back with us less than a second later.

“What was that about?” I asked, unable to completely remove the suspicious edge to my voice.

“He wants a copy of the photo.” She giggled again. “Apparently he’s a fan.”

I watched as he was mobbed by another family.

Two hours later, after going on every slow and child-friendly ride in the area, we headed on to the animals. I managed to convince Alyssa and Phoebe to go to the tigers at Tiger Island first. At least they were
proper
animals. Their strength and agility made for more interesting viewing than some damn ball of fluff stuck to a tree. When we got in front of the glass overlooking the enclosure, I lifted Phoebe on my shoulders for a better view. We watched as the keepers played with the tigers. I could have paid a little extra to get us in there with them, but there was no way in hell I was going to let my daughter near something that dangerous and I didn’t want to spend time away from them either.

Over the next few hours, we covered most of the park, except the extreme rides that I would have done if I’d been there with anyone else. Listening to the screams and shouts of amusement coming from them, I actually felt a pang of jealousy. The Tower of Terror was a near-constant rush of noise during the day as it zipped back and forth along its track, while we puttered underneath it on the steam train or walked alongside it on our way back to the kids’ rides. Alyssa took photos at every possible opportunity. It was almost as if she thought she’d never get the opportunity again. Perhaps she did. It was clear that at least some part of her still didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t going.

At least once an hour, someone new hounded me for an autograph. Each time Alyssa just patiently waited off to the side for me to finish up, and then she and Phoebe would come back to my side. When Phoebe complained of being hungry, we found somewhere that served chicken nuggets for her.

During the day we had our photos taken with an array of people in odd-looking costumes and took up every photo opportunity on every ride. We finally got to go on something halfway decent by going on the log ride. Phoebe giggled the whole time, and in the official photo, snapped on the way down, she wore a smile I would treasure forever.

It was barely two o’clock, still hours before the park closed, when Alyssa told me it was time to head home. Phoebe was getting tired, or so Alyssa said. All I knew was Phoebe was getting louder, crankier, and clumsier. She’d tripped over her own feet no less than ten times in fifteen minutes. Each time, she’d been able to collect herself relatively quickly and with no tears.