Deceive (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #2) (30 page)

“Of course, I had no idea he was the one you were trying to avoid.” Tillie’s mouth stretched into a Cheshire grin.

My plea for the world to swallow me up grew louder in my head.

“We really must continue that conversation one day,” Tillie said, turning her grin onto me.

It was a no win situation. If I went as far to admit the conversation wasn’t a conversation at all, but her trying to suck my cock in the middle of a busy airport, Alyssa could assume the worst. But if I entertained even the slightly possibility of a continuance, I would risk Tillie getting the wrong idea and not understanding that my cock, and every other piece of me, belonged to Alyssa now.

I plastered on the best fake smile I could muster. “I think I’ve said all I needed to say about that subject.”

“That’s a shame. Then again, never say never. You don’t know when opportunities for
conversations
will
arise
.” Her hand grazed my thigh under the table and I leapt away from the touch, banging my elbow against the table and causing the drinks on the table to splash around in their glasses.

All gazes at the table, and at the ones on either side, turned to me. I just gave them the fake smile that was still twisting my lips and then proceeded to ignore them all.

“So what do you do for a living?” Alyssa asked Tillie politely, no doubt trying to cover for my faux pas and move the conversation along.

“I’m in publishing,” Tillie responded.

They continued their conversation, barely acknowledging my presence any longer. Burying my face in my hands, I sank down in my chair. From across the table, I heard Alex snicker. When I looked at her, she was wearing a barely concealed smirk.

Fuck me. It was going to be a long night.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: WINE AND DINE

THE NIGHT WENT from bad, to worse, to downright horrendous. Alyssa and I endured a three-course dinner with snickers and murmurs all around us.

At one point, a TV sports journalist even came over and asked why I was at Wood’s table. As the question and follow-ups left his lips, his eyes lit up as though he was thinking he was about to land himself a major scoop. Not wanting to let him jump to any further conclusions, I explained that I was the only driver available because I was on hiatus and not needed in Bahrain.

He smiled and nodded as if it made sense, but I saw him glancing at me covertly throughout the evening, watching me intently every time I opened my mouth to speak to anyone at the table—which wasn’t often given the company I was in.

The night seemed to drag on forever, but there was nothing I could do to speed it along. I couldn’t leave until I’d fulfilled my signing commitments, especially not when the silent auctions were already underway. All I could do was wait.

Eventually, I got tapped on the shoulder and told it was time. Together with the other celebrities at the event, I was ushered away from my table fifteen minutes before the auction started to be debriefed on the events. After the debriefing, I would be led to a desk and handed a pile of stuff to sign. Some larger pieces, like a framed ProV8 poster, were to be auctioned off. But the rest were all being sold individually, and I had to be available for an hour to sign personal autographs.

It was only then that I found out that there was going to be a slide show of some of the families the foundation had helped over the years. I kicked myself mentally for being so fucking stupid because they always did something to show where the money went. I should have realised sooner, but I hadn’t and Alyssa would be unprepared for what she might see.

Being at the benefit to help raise money because of my children was one thing, subjecting Alyssa to what was sure to be a heartbreaking display considering her personal experience of dealing with Phoebe’s condition and Emmanuel’s death, and not even being there to help her through it was something else entirely. I couldn’t even go back into the room to warn her. On top of everything else, I was given strict instructions to sign autographs and do nothing else. I wasn’t to leave my post, and each winner only had a set time limit at my stand. It meant I wouldn’t even have an opportunity to explain to anyone that I was still Sinclair through and through despite sitting at Wood’s table for the night.

As soon as I was directed back into the main hall, and onto the makeshift stage, I looked around for Alyssa. She was sitting at our table with a small smile on her face. I didn’t even think when I broke rank and ran to her. I whispered a quiet warning in her ear, telling her of the slide show and reassuring her that no one would think any less of her if she stepped outside while it was on.

That was all I had time to say before Alex stalked over to me and told me that I was to get back into place and not step out of line again. I went to tell her to fuck off because I was doing
them
a favour and not the other way around, but Alyssa stopped me with a quick shake of her head and a kiss on the cheek. It was almost as if she was telling me without words that now that I was here it would be easier if I just cooperated. I gave her a quick kiss on the lips in response. It earned a few murmurs around the room as I headed back to the stage.

When the slide show started—filled with picture after picture of kids lying in hospital beds, babies in incubators, and kids wrapped in bandages—I turned to check on Alyssa. Small tears ran along the side of her nose but her eyes were glued to the screen. I followed her gaze and saw beyond the images on the screen. I saw Phoebe in the face of every child. Saw echoes of Alyssa’s pain etched into the face of every parent.

On the table, my fingers clenched to form fists at my own stupidity. How could I be so fucking dense? I wanted to run over to her and pull her against my chest. To hold her tightly and tell her it was okay. It would have been a lie—it would never be okay—but it might have helped her.

She locked eyes with me and something unspoken passed between us. In that second I understood. I felt the loss, the devastation, more acutely than I ever had before, but I also felt the hope and the love. I couldn’t say what happened from that point on because I was so focused on Alyssa. Even as I signed autographs, I glanced at her as often as I could.

She surprised me by getting up from our table and purchasing a poster.

I chuckled when I saw what she was doing. She brought it over to me to sign.

“You don’t need my autograph.” I laughed.

She shrugged. “It’s for a good cause though.”

“That it is,” I said, as I signed the poster.

“Besides, one day you might be
really
famous, and then this could be worth something,” she deadpanned.

“If I’m ever that famous, you’ll be right there alongside me, so you won’t need the money.”

I rolled up the poster and Alyssa reached for it, but I snatched it away at the last second.

“You need to give me something else first,” I said.

“And what’s that?”

With a smile, I tapped my lips. She leaned across the table and touched hers to mine for a brief second. Too brief. I couldn’t wait to be done with this night so I could take her home.

A sigh escaped me as I watched her walk away.

“Do we all get to pay the extra price?” It was Tillie who’d asked the question.

I shook my head and offered her an apologetic smile. “I’m afraid I’m a one-woman man.”

She looked surprised. “Even though I’ve seen it myself, I still don’t know that I believe it.” She looked toward Alyssa. “So tell me, what does she have that the rest of us don’t?”

“My heart.”

She laughed. “Some people might think that’s romantic, but between you and me it’s all just crap, isn’t it?”

I scowled at her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that we all know what you’re like, Declan. You think it was your exceptional pulling skills that had me interested in the club?” She laughed. “You were a guaranteed lay, and rumoured to be a good one at that. The great Declan Reede screws around. That’s what he does. That’s
all
that he does. Even if you’ve forgotten that for the moment, it won’t be long before you remember. Maybe you just need the right
women
to remind you.” She raised her eyebrow at me as if I might change my mind at any second and beg for a repeat performance with her and her friend.

I shook my head. “Nope. Never again. She’s it for me.”

Tillie laughed. “If you say so.”

She moved the glass of water I had stationed beside me to another part of the table and placed a shirt in front of me. She opened it out fully and showed me where she wanted the autograph. I complied quickly, mostly because I wanted her away from me as quickly as possible. Even after I’d finished though, she lingered.

“Why are you even asking me things like that anyway?” I asked. “Aren’t you with Felix?”

She gave a throaty, seductive chuckle. “He’s just my ticket in and a bit of arm candy. A girl can hardly come to an event like this alone.” She sighed, glanced around quickly and then leaned in close to me. “If you must know, it’s his sister, Talia, who holds my attention. You remember her too, don’t you? I just like a little dick every now and then. We both do in fact.” Her voice made no secret of the fact that she was actually giving me an open invitation to have a do-over of our fateful night in the club.

“Well . . .,” I said, unsure how to end the conversation after her comment. “Good luck with that.”

I signalled for the next person to come forward, cutting Tillie off before she could make another lame attempt at seduction. I took a sip of water before signing the keychain that was thrust in front of me, noting the odd taste in the water. Swallowing down the foul mouthful, I grimaced. There was a reason I never usually drank unfiltered water in the city. I had few other options though, at least until I was free to leave the signing table again.

Twenty minutes later, I was finally finished and was able to leave to try to find Alyssa. I hoped I could convince her to go now that the official shit was done.

When I stood, my legs almost collapsed beneath me and my head spun. I reached for the table, but my arm felt too long. My tongue felt heavy in my mouth.

I tried to figure out what was going on, but my brain refused to work right. It wasn’t normal, and the sensation that something was wrong built within me. I took a step and stumbled. I couldn’t have been drunk . . . could I? I’d had two rum and Cokes with dinner, but that had been much earlier, and I hadn’t had anything more since then.

Even as the thoughts chased each other through my mind, I staggered back toward Alyssa at our table. My stomach roiled and pitched with every step.

“Declan?” she asked, her voice filled with concern. “Are you feeling all right?”

I looked at her—trying to make the three Alyssas I could see combine into one. When I failed, I shook my head. “I think I need the bathroom.” My voice was slurred and unsteady even to my own ears.

She placed her arm around my waist and held me steady as I headed for the bathroom.

Pushing the door open with my shoulder, I stumbled inside and headed straight into a cubicle. At first, I vomited, then when I had nothing left to bring up, I heaved until my chest ached and my stomach burned. When I finally got myself under control, I wanted nothing more than to curl around the base of the loo and rest my head against the cool tiles, but the unhygienic nature of a public pissing hole turned me off.

I struggled to get my legs under me again before dragging myself to the sink. Barely holding myself upright, I splashed my face with cold water. When I raised my head again, I was shocked by what I saw. My eyes were bloodshot and glazed. With rising horror, I recognised the face reflecting back at me. It was someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. A face I hated—the face of my darkest days.

The walls started to close in on me, drawing closer together with every second. I had to get out of there. Staggering to the door, I pulled it open. I’d expected to find Alyssa waiting for me, but she wasn’t. Stumbling as I went, and unable to make out anything with the haze blurring my vision, I headed toward the front door. Even though I wasn’t thinking straight, it was clear to me that I needed some fresh air.

“Declan . . .,” a voice whispered to me.

I spun on the spot, almost losing my footing and narrowly avoided falling on my arse. I looked around to find the source of the voice. The door to the cloakroom was open a few inches, and the voice within called out to me once again.

“Alyssa?” I asked, trying to work out whether the voice was actually in my mind or was coming from the darkened room.

“I’m in here,” she whispered. Her voice sounded off. Deeper, and more infused with desperation than ever before. I wondered if it was the effect of whatever was flowing through my veins.

Wanting to find Alyssa, I stepped toward the room, pushing the door open and taking a few steps inside before pausing and turning around. The door closed, and I looked to see who had closed it but my head swum too much to make out anything in the darkness.

“Alyssa?” I repeated. I didn’t know if it was some kind of sick joke. I couldn’t understand why she would go into that room. She knew what’d happened in there with Darcy. Why would she want to share any time with that memory?

“Come here, Declan.”

I stepped back toward the door and suddenly lips were on mine. A warm tongue pressed forward, seeking entrance to my mouth. My lips parted slightly while my brain struggled to catch up.

Something was wrong.

Alyssa was taller than usual. A memory flashed in my mind of her sky high heels. Maybe that’s all it was. When I wrapped my arm around Alyssa’s waist to respond to her kiss, it seemed to skinny—too lean.

Something was off.

Something was stroking my dick.

I moaned instinctively in response to the touch, but warning bells were going off inside my mind. In slow motion, my brain finally caught up with everything happening and it screamed at me that the touch was wrong. The taste was wrong. Whoever had their hand around my cock and their tongue in my mouth wasn’t Alyssa. That realisation left me reeling and I jerked away from the touch. Too quickly. All of my balance went out the window and I fell backward into a rack of coats. I retreated as far back as I could and shouted, “You’re not Alyssa.”

Whoever was with me shushed me, but I couldn’t be quietened. Someone’d had their tongue down my throat and it wasn’t Alyssa. I wasn’t
that guy
anymore, and I didn’t want to be. I never wanted to be again.

I couldn’t do that to her. My emotions spiralled out of control faster than my heartbeat raced.

Through it all, I shouted for Alyssa. My voice didn’t seem to be making it through the swirl of noise around me, and I knew if I didn’t shout as loud as I possibly could, Alyssa would never hear me. She’d never come rescue me.

I held my hand up to shield myself from the light that started small but soon grew to encompass the whole room. People barged in around me. More and more spilling in until it was suddenly full. In all directions I saw men and women; some confused, some scared.