Dearly Loved (25 page)

Meredith went over to her jewelry box and opened the lid. She didn’t have much in the way of jewelry, but she knew she had the earrings she wanted to wear. The small diamond studs were her mother’s from her father for an anniversary gift. The shoes would be another matter. She didn’t own anything with high heels. She’d have to go shopping again sometime soon.

Closing the lid to the box, she sat down on the side of the bed. Her head told her not to get too excited about her first real date with David. Her pulse jumped every time she thought about it.
My heart is hard of hearing
.

Her shoulders slumped.
Lord, I need your guidance here. Please help me to have Your wisdom in regard to David. You know how I feel about him
…She sighed, unable to finish the prayer.
If David breaks my heart, it will be no one’s fault but my own
.

***

November rolled over into December. With it came rain and fog. The weather curbed Meredith’s walks with Bitsy. It affected her life in other ways as well. The gray, gloomy days did little to calm her concerns about David. He was out of town, on assignment for some college bowl games along the West Coast. She missed him—a lot—and her Hugs and Kisses were all gone.

David called her off and on, but with no regularity. Meredith wondered if it was deliberate or unintentional. How did she fit into his life? Would she ever be secure in his affections? The rain and wind rattled against the windowpanes of her house, in a kind of counterpoint to all her heaving and sighing.

At work, she faired better. The busyness kept anxious little thoughts at bay. Meredith really enjoyed working with the kids, though she had yet to lose the edge of anxiety. She thought often of the little boy’s family and kept them in her prayers.

The Charge Nurse was easy to get along with, almost ridiculously so. Meredith had heard a rumor that Erin was soon to be married.
I’m happy for her. Really
.

She began going to Rosa’s home group Sunday evenings after church instead of the Tuesday night Bible study now that her schedule had been straightened out. One evening, she overheard two women discussing if David was seeing anyone. Meredith had glowered into her cup of punch at their words. It was a good question. Too bad she didn’t really know the answer.

A few days later, Meredith got a call from David saying he’d be returning to town early the next evening. She decided to swing by his apartment after work and leave a plate of cookies for his return. He had a key box hidden from view and he’d given her the combination although she hadn’t been to his place since he’d returned from the hospital.

Meredith headed over right after work. They planned to meet the following morning for breakfast before he went in to the station, so she didn’t bother with her appearance. When she pulled into the parking lot, she noted another car was in his slot. Probably just a neighbor using the empty space for the time being.

Meredith parked in the visitor’s area and got out from the car with her plate of cookies. As she walked up to his door, it opened. A pretty blonde woman emerged, laughing at someone behind her. That someone was David.

She came to a stop, gripping the plate to avoid dropping it. The woman almost bumped into her.

“Oh, excuse me!”

“Merrie! What are you doing here?” David walked up and put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, Rita, this is Merrie Ambrose. Merrie, Rita Anderson. My producer.”

Is it my imagination or did David stress the last word?

“It’s nice to meet you. David has told me so much about you,” Rita said with a quaint Southern accent. She turned to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” He looked back at Meredith and drew her up his step and through the door. “I didn’t expect to see you until tomorrow morning.”

Her heart thudded dully in her chest. She couldn’t stop the awful thoughts from filling her mind. “I made you some cookies…to welcome you home.”

David’s eyes lit up and he tugged the plate from her nerveless fingers. “Thank you.” Setting the plate on his coffee table, he took her hands in his. “But seeing you is even better than cookies.”

Meredith stared at up him through a haze of jealousy. She felt ill from it. She even studied his neck and lips for traces of lipstick. There were none that she could see. The fact only marginally eased her tension.

He drew her to him and cupped her face in his hand. He bent his head and kissed her. As much as Meredith longed to respond, she felt icy cold and stood very still. David pulled back and gave her a puzzled look, smoothing a strand of hair from her face.

“Is anything wrong? You look so serious.”

“I thought your producer was a...man.”

He shrugged. “Got a new one. Rita went with me and Cam on the trip. I’m home early because our flight was cancelled. Rita’s fast thinking got us on another flight due to leave earlier than the one we’d planned on taking. We had to run full speed through the airport. But we made it and she dropped me off, so here I am.”

“Where’s your car?”

“Parked in a friend’s garage. I didn’t want to leave it here out in the open for so long.”

“Oh.” Meredith lowered her eyes. He certainly wasn’t acting guilty. Oh, if only I could be sure of him!

“Merrie, look at me. What’s wrong? Aren’t you glad to see me?” A shadow seemed to pass over his eyes and his face hardened. “You aren’t thinking that…Rita and I…Merrie, tell me you’re not thinking that.”

“I—”

David dropped his hands. “Good grief, she’s my boss! She’s forty-two, happily married, and the mother of two grown sons.” He pinned her with his gaze. “And most of all, that life is behind me. It has been for five years. It will be forever.”

Meredith clenched her hands, feeling a tide of shame wash over her at the hurt in his voice, in his eyes. “I know, David. I’m sorry. I was just so jealous that I couldn’t think—”

David’s face broke into a sudden grin. “You were jealous, huh? I know Rita would be flattered. I definitely am.”

“Oh, David!” Didn’t he know she’d just been to the depths of anguish and back? His mercurial mood changes always devastated her equilibrium.

“Now that we have all that straightened out, how about a proper welcome home?”

Meredith put her arms around him and hugged him hard, sniffing away tears that threatened. Apparently not satisfied, he dipped his head and kissed her.

He lifted his lips moments later. “While you’re here, would you mind giving me a lift to go pick up my Jeep?”

She nodded, her world made right again…for the moment.

***

The following Sunday after church, Meredith invited David, Rosa, and Gino over for lunch at her house. David’s sweet and solicitous manner toward her had boosted her confidence somewhat.

When everyone arrived at her place, Rosa joined her in the kitchen, helping her put out the lunch she’d prepared earlier in the morning—clam chowder, a French baguette, and fruit salad. The guys were in the living room watching a football game on TV.

Rosa, setting the kitchen table, spoke in a hushed voice. “Did you hear about Ellen?”

Meredith frowned. “In Med-Surg? Wasn’t she engaged? She hooked you up with Gino, right?”

Rosa nodded. “But about being engaged. It’s past tense. Her fiancé dumped her.”

She suppressed a shudder. “Why?”

“She thinks he was just using her until someone better came along. At least that’s what she told me. He broke her heart. She said she’s swearing off men for good.”

“And she used to always tell us to get ourselves a man,” Meredith said faintly.

“I know. Hearing about Ellen made me kinda nervous. But Gino and I have set the date and he’s helping me plan the wedding. I can’t imagine he’d go to so much effort and expense just to jilt me at the altar. Apparently Ellen’s boyfriend was pretty wishy-washy and refused to make the commitment. It’s so sad.”

“Sad,” Meredith echoed. She glanced into the living room and saw David talking earnestly to Gino about something.
Maybe telling of his plan to wiggle out of his quasi-relationship with me?
She gave herself a mental slap and turned her attention back to the preparation.

The lunch passed enjoyably. Gino and Rosa teased Meredith and David about their tree. She had to agree. The poor thing had lost most of its needles and had a diseased, mangy appearance despite her attempt to keep it well watered. She no longer dared to turn on the lights for fear of starting a fire. David acted huffy and indignant about their criticism.

They spent the afternoon watching a football game between the Raiders and the Cowboys. David kept up a running commentary, spiced with his wry wit that had Rosa and Gino laughing. Meredith, snuggled against him on the couch, didn’t really listen to his words—and she certainly didn’t watch the game. She was content to watch his expressive face and listen to the husky note in his voice, hoping that her confidence wasn’t misplaced.

After the game, Rosa and Gino left. They planned to all meet back at the evening service at six-thirty. Meredith got up from the couch to fix something light to eat before it was time to go.

David followed Meredith to the kitchen. Leaning against the doorjamb, he studied her for a moment. Despite the way he’d teased her about her jealousy the other day at his apartment, he was still disturbed that she ever felt that way at all.

Doesn’t she trust me? Doesn’t she realize that I’ve changed? How can I prove it?
He had no choice in the gender of his bosses. Occasional business trips were a part of his profession. How could he assure her of his love?

Tell her
.

It sounded simple. He’d asked Gino about it tonight in a roundabout way, desperate for advice. In many ways, Meredith was incalculable. He worried about blurting it out at the wrong time. Gino assured him there was no wrong time. If only David felt as confident. In his mind, telling her he loved her was tantamount to a proposal of marriage. Would Meredith want to be stuck with him for life? What if she didn’t return his love? Gino’s advice went round and round in his brain.

As David watched Meredith’s graceful movements around the kitchen, he decided to wait a little longer. They’d have to leave for the service soon and he didn’t want any interruption. He thought about the Christmas party.
I’ll do it then—for sure
.

Feeling better now that he had a plan, he walked all the way into the kitchen. “Anything I can do to help?”

Nineteen

The day of the Christmas party dawned foggy and gray. Meredith stared out the window and chastised herself for the fluttering in her stomach. It was just a party. Just a date with David—but she’d read too many romance novels and seen too many movies with happy endings to not hope tonight might be somehow special.

How would she pass the day in the state she was in? She worried she’d be a wreck by the time eight o’clock rolled around. She should have known Rosa would come to her rescue. Meredith smiled when she saw Rosa’s Karmann Ghia pull up along side her house.

She went out to the living room and opened the door before Rosa had a chance to knock. Rosa grinned as she walked in the door.

“How are you doing?” she asked with knowing eyes.

Meredith shrugged. “Fine. It’s really no biggie.”

Rosa didn’t appear convinced by her nonchalant attitude. “Well, do you want to hang around here all day fretting or do you want to come dress shopping with me again?”

Easy choice. “Dress shopping.”

They soon arrived at a different mall with a different bridal boutique. She enjoyed watching Rosa try on gown after gown. After an assortment of fluffy, fussy, heavily ornamented gowns, Rosa eventually chose a silk sheath dress that flattered her diminutive frame.

Once she’d arranged for a fitting, they went shopping for flowers and shoes for the Christmas party. Seeing Rosa’s enthusiasm helped ease some of Meredith’s nervousness. Like David, Rosa took each day at a time, delighting in each moment for what it was—another blessing. Meredith tried to adopt the same manner, tired of feeling so anxious about the future—about her relationship with David.

She did pretty well until Rosa dropped her off back at her house at three in the afternoon. Once again alone, little doubts and fears wormed their way into her heart. Soon the yawning hours until it was time to go seemed to fly by, until Meredith worried she wouldn’t be ready in time.

At seven forty-five, she studied her reflection in the mirror, feeling reasonably comfortable with her appearance. She’d taken the shop owner’s advice and pulled up her hair in a loose twist, allowing tendrils to frame her face. The dress hung well on her figure and the new strappy heels ornamented with rhinestones completed the outfit.

When she heard the doorbell ring, she grabbed her small evening bag and went to answer the door. When she saw David standing on the doorstep, she bit her lip.
I thought it was the women who were supposed to outshine the men
.