Dearly Loved (21 page)

Meredith swallowed, feeling sad. Her arms involuntarily tightened around David’s waist. She no longer held on for fear of heights—but in fear of experiencing something she would shortly be deprived of. Her eyes filled with tears when he responded by holding her closer to himself.

After a moment, she realized they were descending back toward the ground. She squeezed her eyes shut, preparing herself for the moment when she’d have no choice but to step from the haven of his arms.

Soon, the basket bumped down to the ground.

“Safe and sound! What did I tell you, Ms. Ambrose?”

Meredith moved away from David. She schooled her expression and turned around. “You were right. Thank you, it was wonderful.” She avoided David’s eyes as he helped her from the basket.

A chase crew had been following the balloon’s flight and soon drove up to where it landed. It took the crew about twenty minutes to pack up the balloon.

Meredith’s steps were leaden as she walked across the grass to an SUV nearby. She’d come from the heights back to earth with a resounding thump. Just like she knew she would.

David walked along side her. “What did you think?”

She gave him a sidelong glance, willing the moisture from her eyes. “It was...very educational. Thanks, David.”

“I thought you’d like it once we got up there.”

He opened the door of the vehicle and allowed her to enter in first. Once the pilot and crew had climbed inside, they headed back to the main gathering place.

They arrived just as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. David shook Chuck’s hand, thanked everyone, and led her back to the crowd of spectators. Soon after, against the purple sky of twilight, each of the grounded balloons fired their burners.

Balloons of nearly every imaginable design and color glowed like jewels lit from within. Meredith couldn’t remember seeing anything so beautiful. When David put his arm around her and drew her close, she didn’t resist. They watched the Night Glow without speaking, listening to the roar of the burners going on and off at different intervals.

It was then Meredith came to a disturbing comprehension—she was in love with David. She probably always had been—and probably always would be.

But I can’t be. I don’t want to be.

She blinked away tears, the balloons appearing as smears of color from her blurred vision.

***

The trip home passed in silence. Meredith hung onto her composure with the last of her resolve. Once she was in the privacy of her home, she could fall apart. Right now, she needed to act as if David didn’t have any affect on her. Not an easy task.

She glanced at him through her lashes. David must’ve sensed her gaze. He looked over at her, giving her a smile of utter sweetness. She let out a shaky breath when they reached her house. She jumped out from the car before he could help her. David followed her to the door. While unlocking the door, she tried to formulate a way to say goodbye there on the step, without sounding rude.

“You’re going to let me say good night to Bitsy, aren’t you?” he asked with a guileless look.

Meredith held the door open for him as she entered. What else could she do? In an effort to distance herself from him, she walked over and turned on the mica lamps, casting the room in a golden glow. David had picked up Bitsy and was talking nonsense to him, eliciting a reluctant smile from her.

Clasping her hands together, she took a deep breath, knowing nothing had really changed between them. “Thank you for a fun time.”

He looked over at her, lightly dropping the dog to the ground. When he approached her, Meredith took a couple of steps backward, coming in contact with the wall.

He raised his brows. “Why are you all the way over there? You act like you’re afraid of me.” When she didn’t answer, he said, “Are you?”

“Yes. Um, I mean, no.”

Frowning, he came to stand right in front of her, his expression an odd mix of stern vulnerability. His voice dropped a notch. “Why are you avoiding me, Merrie?”

She cleared her throat, knowing she needed to be honest, but doubting she had the courage. “What do you want from me?”

David’s features softened. “I want to get reacquainted. When I moved here, I wanted to find you and say hi. But when I saw you in the hospital, I wanted more.”

“More?” she squeaked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I saw you’ve become a beautiful woman, and that you’re all that I remember and more. You’ve always had a special place in my heart.”

She lifted a brow. “Special? So special that I wasn’t good enough for you that summer?”

His face darkened. “It was the other way around. I wasn’t good enough for you. Besides, I was eighteen with the maturity of a ten year old.”

Meredith gave a bark of laughter. “Well, that explains everything.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

Tears flooded her eyes at his gentle tone.
I’m pathetic
. She looked down, ashamed that he saw her this way. “It doesn’t matter.”

He nudged up her chin. “Yes, it does. I’ve always cherished that time I spent with you. When I started that school year and got in with the same old type of crowd, I realized I was just an empty shell. All my new friends were the same way. It was easier to fall into old patterns. I didn’t want you to know I was like that.”

Meredith didn’t know what to say.
Is he telling the truth? Why does it matter? Why can’t I get past this?

“Please forgive me,” he whispered. “And please give us a chance for a fresh start.”

“Of course I forgive you.” She licked her lips. “But it’s probably better if we leave things where they are and not go any further.”

“Why?”

She took a deep breath, her mind floundering for an excuse. “Because.”

He gazed at her with a hooded expression, wiping all reasoning from her mind. “I have to disagree. I think we should pursue this.”

It was her turn to ask the question. “Why?”

“Because I don’t think you’re indifferent to me.”

Meredith felt her face heat. “That’s not the point.”

David pulled his hands from his pockets and placed them on the wall on either side of her face.

“What are you doing?”

“Since I’ve been back in town, I’ve been remembering our kisses, Merrie. I think we should take a walk down memory lane.”

She fought against the silkiness of his voice. “For old time’s sake?” she said cynically.

He lowered his head. “No, for new time’s sake.”

In a gesture of defense, she put her hands on his chest. “David, please—”

He smiled. “Since you asked so nice…”

Meredith clutched the front of his shirt as he lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers.
Oh my
. Suddenly spineless, she closed her eyes and melted into him, returning his kiss. David’s arms came around her waist, pulling her tight. She spun away on a velvet cloud of love and longing that left her breathless—and anxious.

David finally lifted his lips and rested his forehead against hers. “Wow.”

She released a slow sigh, still holding onto his shirt to maintain her balance. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh, yes, you should have,” he said, his voice tinged with amusement.

His heartbeat thumped underneath her fingers. Meredith closed her eyes and tried to get a grasp on reality.
I can’t when I’m tangled up with the man
. She eased out of his arms and pressed herself up against the wall. “Your cameraman never showed up.”

“I wasn’t working.”

She peered up at him, nibbling on her lip. “Why did you come?”

His brown eyes were soft. “I was worried that you’d say no if I called and asked you out. I decided to try this tact.”

She stared at the vee of his pullover. “Kisses mean things.”

“Yes, they do.”

Her gaze flew to his, but she couldn’t read what she saw there.

He reached up and touched her face, draining coherent thought from her brain. “Let’s take things slow.”

Meredith felt trapped by his gaze. Her head nodded of its own volition, while her heart screamed
No!

Too bad her heart didn’t have vocal chords.

Sixteen

The next morning, Meredith woke up with a headache. She vaguely remembered a tragi-comedy dream of David trying to kiss all the ladies at the blood drive—everyone but her. Easing to a sitting position, she clutched her aching head in her hands and closed her eyes.
It’s my day off. I can’t sit here in bed all day, worrying and fussing over each of David’s words and gestures from the night before
. A feeling of trepidation settled in her stomach that she’d imagined the gentle insistence that he wanted a relationship.  

Meredith stumbled out of bed and headed to the kitchen, deciding to go to the health club and swim some laps. Maybe cold water and exertion would serve to extinguish any romanticizing of what happened.
David’s crazy if he thinks we can just start over.

And I’m crazy for even considering it
.

Two hours later, Meredith hoisted herself up out of the water and onto the side of the pool. The exercise had helped somewhat to banish the specter of a particular sports personality from her mind. After showering and getting dressed, she returned home for a quick lunch and put Bitsy in the car. A walk in the park would be invigorating. She could enjoy the fall scenery before it gave way to the blah winter landscapes. Thanksgiving was just around the corner. While she drove through town, she tried to decide which park she should go to. The one closest to her house had been where her unfortunate event with David and the soccer ball had occurred. Too many uncomfortable memories there.

Bitsy ran back and forth in the front seat, excited about the excursion to come. Meredith glanced at his perky ears and shiny eyes, amazed that a stray dog had taken up residence in her house as well as her heart.

After parking and letting Bitsy out, she plunked down on a bench, content to watch him run in frenzied zigzags in the grassy field. What would it be like to feel so unfettered, to exult in just being alive? She envied Bitsy’s lack of cares or concerns. It wasn’t fair.

Doesn’t David understand why I just can’t act like nothing has happened between us? What’s he after, anyway? Why me? Sentimental reasons?
She frowned, getting nowhere in her jumbled thoughts.

Meredith thought back to the kiss they shared the evening before. She experienced a fresh thrill at the memory of his touch, and a familiar lurch in her heart that it came with complications.
Why can’t it be simple? Neat and clean? Why so messy? One of the reasons I liked Clay was that he seemed a straightforward kind of guy. But in the end, he wasn’t, was he? That experience was pretty messy, too.

Oh, David, what have you done?

***

Meredith arrived at church on Sunday, purposefully late. She felt arrogant in her assumption that David might seek her out and try to sit with her—but at the same time, she wanted to sit alone. She’d get nothing out of the service with him so near, riling up her heart and mind.

She slid into a pew near the back, her gaze scanning the congregation for a head of soft golden brown curls. Disappointment rippled through her when she failed to locate him. Settling deeper against the pew, she determined to forget about David and focus on the real reason she was at church.

The music began, one of Meredith’s favorite choruses. She closed her eyes and began to sing along. Then she sensed someone sitting down next to her—close enough to feel the warmth emanating from his body. Meredith would know that subtle blend of leather and cologne scent anywhere. She refused to admit to herself even the slightest pleasure that David had indeed sought her out.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He leaned over and whispered, “You’re late.”

Meredith made a face at him and resumed singing. Apparently unperturbed, David began to sing as well. When she realized he was tone-deaf, she smiled. It somehow made him more appealing than ever.

An hour and a half later when the service came to an end, Meredith knew her earlier theory had been correct. She’d been barely aware of anything but the man next to her. Thoughts of his dark eyes and sweet kisses had eclipsed everything else.

David nudged her on the shoulder, jolting her out of her reverie. “Great sermon, huh?”

She lifted her eyes to his, feeling heat spread across her cheeks. “Uh…”

“Mer!” Rosa plopped down on the pew in front of her, with Gino in tow. “Would you two like to get together for lunch?”

A refusal sprang to Meredith’s lips—until she saw the pleading look in Rosa’s expressive eyes. She cast a sidelong glance at David. He seemed to take her silence for assent.