Dead: Winter (31 page)

“I won’t just sit here and do nothing while that poor girl suffers,” Kevin said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Maybe it would be better—” Matt began.

“Don’t
you
dare say it,” Kevin snarled, turning to face the man. “You were as good as dead when we found you. That girl saved your life.” He pointed to Heather with a hand that trembled. “The last person who should start deciding who is fit to save and who should be allowed to die is you!”

“I was going to say,” Matt stepped up to Kevin and placed a hand on his shoulder, “that maybe it would be better if we take a day two in order to find you a snowmobile. On foot, you would be gone for days or even weeks. If the zombies didn’t kill you, the weather would.”

“And just where—” Kevin started to ask. This time it was Aleah who interrupted.

“Maybe I wasn’t clear when I said you weren’t going out in this…not again.”

“You don’t get to make that decision,” Kevin said.

“What!” Aleah shouted.

“Umm, Aleah,” Heather spoke up, grabbing the angry woman by the elbow with a firm grip. “I think we need to talk.”

“If you are going to try and tell me why he has to go out
again
,” Aleah jerked away, “then save your breath. Kevin has spent more time outside of these walls than all of us combined and it is time that some other folks start carrying their share.”

“So…what…you want Shari to go out there? She would come back with hair products and a really cute outfit that fit her,” Heather shot back. “It sucks, but the truth is, you’re hurt, Matt’s hurt, Erin is a child, and like it or not, we can’t send Peter. That leaves me and Kevin. You want me to go…I will. But I’m not stupid; I know there is no way in the world that I will make it.”

“Then maybe Valarie will have to make do,” Aleah insisted. “I may be sounding like a bit of a bitch here, but we can’t afford to lose Kevin.”

“You won’t lose me,” Kevin insisted.

“You can’t promise that and you know it!” Aleah said through the tears that were pouring down her cheeks. “I can’t lose you.”

“Aleah…” Kevin stepped towards her and went to take her in his arms. She jerked away from his embrace. “I love you, you idiot!”

“Aleah, I…wait…what?” Kevin staggered back like he’d been struck.

“I said I love you, you idiot!” Aleah bawled. With that, she turned and took off up the stairs.

Kevin remained dumbstruck for a few seconds. Finally he took a few steps for the stairs.

Heather put her hands on his arms and stopped him. “Give me a few minutes first,” she said.

He shrugged his shoulders and nodded. As she vanished he made his way to one of the overstuffed chairs and collapsed more than sat down on one. Matt followed and sat across from Kevin; despite having lived with him for the past few weeks, realized that he knew very little about the man. From the reaction he was seeing, he thought he might now know one thing about Kevin Dreon: Aleah was the first girl to say those three magic words to him.

“How’d that feel?” Matt asked.

“Huh?” Kevin looked up at him with glassy eyes and a dazed look on his face that all but confirmed his suspicions.

“Hearing her say that?”

“She said…” Kevin’s voice trailed off.

“So I’m guessing that is the first time she’s said that…and maybe…the first time you have been this deep into a relationship.”

“Does it show?”

“Actually, I wouldn’t have known except for Heather; she talks about you a lot. I guess you two got pretty close going through all that crap back in Heath,” Matt explained.

The two men sat quietly for a few minutes when the door to the patio opened and Shari entered with Peter on her heels; both were stomping their feet to get rid of the snow, and both were red faced. Initially it was difficult to tell if it was related to the weather or emotions.

“How am I supposed to know?” Peter asked in exasperation. “I can’t really do a proper autopsy on it.”

“
Her
!” Shari snapped, spinning to face the young doctor. “Autumn was not…
is
not an it!”

“You know what I mean,” Peter retorted. “You’re just trying to pick a fight now.”

“The fight was picked a long time ago.”

“So you are going to blame me for this child’s death. It couldn’t possibly be neglect on the part of your sister,” Peter said as he walked past Kevin and Matt.

“Why don’t you go fu—”

“Is there a problem?” Kevin asked, getting up from his chair, moving to intercept Shari before she vanished up the stairs. His purpose was actually twofold: the first being that he didn’t want a bunch of yelling and arguing taking place upstairs near Valarie’s room; his second reason was that he wanted to settle things down before he left. His feelings about group unity were fairly strong. He’d seen what disharmony could do to endanger the lives of everybody.

“Peter won’t lift a finger to try and see what might have happened to the baby…to Autumn,” Shari said, turning to face Kevin.

“There isn’t anything that I can do,” Peter insisted. “I don’t have the equipment to do a proper autopsy. I checked for any marks, she is clean. Whatever it was could range from simple crib death to suffocation to poisoning.”

“What!” Shari spun around, both hands balled into fists.

“I am simply stating the range of possibilities.”

“You’ve been hinting at something since we found her,” Shari insisted.

“I haven’t done anything of the sort,” Peter argued. “My only problem, and the same problem Aleah, Matt, and I dare say Kevin if he has heard about the circumstances, is the fact that your sister was in that room with a dead child. She made no move to call for help or anything else.”

“She was in shock!” Shari shouted.

Kevin stepped forward and eased her back from Peter. He didn’t think that the man was the sort to strike a woman, but he couldn’t vouch for what might happen if he was struck first.

“Shari,” Kevin said in a voice barely above a whisper, “you need to go up with your sister and cool down. Peter, I need to talk to you about Valarie.”

Shari looked up at Kevin with a tight-lipped grimace for a moment. Then a different look crossed her face. “Wait…what’s wrong with Valarie? Is she okay?”

“Nothing that can’t be handled,” Kevin assured, curious about the piqued interest.

“She isn’t dying or anything is she?”

“No, just has a few things I need to deal with and I need to talk to Peter. So…if you don’t mind?”

“But—” Shari started to argue.

“It isn’t personal,” Kevin cut her off. “I just need to talk to Peter, and I need him to be focused. Right now, you are a distraction.”

“Fine.” Shari made it a point to linger long enough so that everybody could tell she was pouting and then she went upstairs.

Kevin turned to Peter. “I think Valarie might be schizophrenic. She is seeing people who aren’t there. I guess she was taking clozapine before all this.”

“How in God’s green earth did you find that out…she just tell you?” Peter said with a laugh that was too close to sarcastic not to piss Kevin off.

“Basically yes!” he said with a cold glare that made Peter choke a bit on his laughter. “She called it clothes pins, but it wasn’t hard to figure out if you listened.”

“Hey,” Peter threw his hands up, “I’m not trying to cause any trouble or say anything bad. Christ, she survived on her own for who knows how long. I know a lot of normal people who couldn’t have done that.”

“Normal?”

“I’m not going to pretend that a person with Down’s is normal…the reality is that she has a disability,” Peter said calmly. “It’s not like I called her retarded or some other word we have used to the point of making it offensive in the past. However, the fact remains that she is mentally disabled and not operating on the same wavelength as we are. She has special needs and that is a fact. I would put her at the equivalent of a twelve-year-old in her ability to comprehend and process.”

Kevin backed down a bit. He knew that he had a past that added heat to his feelings about Valarie. He would probably tend to overreact.

“So…her hallucinations?” Peter prompted, trying to get Kevin back on track.

“She is seeing and hearing her grandmother…also an uncle who did something bad to her,” Kevin explained. “I am guessing that she was given the clozapine to control it.”

“Well I am no mental health specialist,” Peter admitted. “I can’t tell you anything about side-effects. So if we get this stuff for her, I won’t be much help. Also, I can’t tell you anything about dosage. You will be flying blind on this and I have to tell you that you may do her more harm than good. Plus, you better plan for what you are going to do when whatever you find runs out. There aren’t any labs operating any longer.”

“I’ll worry about this stuff one day at a time,” Kevin said.

“And can I ask where you intend to find this stuff?” Peter queried. “We are kinda out in the boonies. Ten miles may as well be a thousand in this weather.”

“That’s funny,” Matt chuckled.

“What?” Kevin and Peter both asked.

“Zombies just took second place on the threat list behind the weather.”

The other two men looked at each other for a few seconds. Smiles turned to chuckles, which then turned to laughter.

“Who is making this run with you?” Peter asked.

“Nobody,” Kevin said with a shrug. “It will be a dangerous trip. I don’t think Shari is a good choice considering the situation with Erin being what it is right now. Aleah isn’t healed up yet, Matt has a bad leg.”

“And I’m…what? Useless? A cripple?” Peter challenged. “I’ve been meaning to bring it up, and now seems like as good a time as any.”

“You are a doctor,” Kevin said like that was all that needed saying.

“And?” Obviously Peter wasn’t satisfied with that response.

“You aren’t replaceable.”

“My ego may never forgive me,” Peter sighed, “but it has been your brains…your planning that has kept us not only alive, but preparing for a life. We are doing more than just surviving here and it is because you seem to have some sort of master plan. You tell us to do things that, once you say them, seem obvious. Only, had it not been for you, the thought would have never occurred to us.”

“Yeah—” Kevin fumbled over his words.

“Yeah, nothing,” Peter snapped. “I am tired of being treated like I am a china doll. I’m going with you and it isn’t up for debate. I’ve been stuck inside these walls since we got here and I need to start doing my share when it comes to putting my ass on the line for this group. If anybo—”

“What in the blazes is going on out here?” Paul stood in the doorway that led to the restaurant where he and his daughter had fallen asleep.

“Who is that?” Peter asked, turning back to Kevin with an eyebrow raised in question.

13

Bad
W
eather and
B
ad
N
ews

Staring out the window at the snow, I began to wonder if it would ever stop. It had been almost two weeks since that ma
s
sive horde had come. I was initially thankful for the snow because it covered the swathe of filth and ruin left in their wake. Many of the fallen undead were still right where they toppled. We’d been more focused on seeing everybody return.

By the time we were all back inside, Jamie had come to long enough to wander out to the main room, look around like he was searching for something, then return to his bed. Since then, I’d only seen him a handful of times. Considering the fact that none of us had left the building except to empty the toilet buckets, that was saying something.

“Daddy,” a voice whispered in my ear, “can Emily and me ride the sleds?” I still wasn’t entirely used to hearing her call me that.

“When this lets up, sweetie,” I replied, wrapping an arm around Thalia and pulling her into a hug. “I know you are ge
t
ting tired of being cooped up inside, but that snow is crazy deep.”

The first time I’d taken the toilet buckets—everybody gets a turn—I’d stepped off the porch and sank to my waist. I’d hurt myself bad enough that I was unable to keep it concealed from Melissa, who promptly told Dr. Zahn. I’d been removed from toilet bucket duty after that. It wasn’t that I
wanted
to carry the buckets, it was simply that I didn’t want to seem like I was above anybody else.

We’d had our little sham of an election. I’d been named mayor, or president, or whatever they wanted to call me. It wasn’t like I intended to make any changes; I just felt that we needed somebody to make decisions. I still believed that anything that affected the group would be put to a vote, but some things needed to be decided upon in an instant without the time for a vote or meeting; that is where I would really come in.

It wasn’t anything I hadn’t been doing up to this point. The only problems that arose were when newcomers arrived or somebody was bitten…or
not
bitten in the case of Teresa.

“Then can we practice our wooden swords?” Thalia moved around so that she was standing in front of me, looking up at me with her big, dark eyes.

“Go into the kitchen, okay?” I tousled her hair. “I don’t mind the smacking of your swords, but some people might get frustrated or annoyed by the racket.”

“Okay.” She kissed my cheek and ran over to Emily who was sitting in front of the enormous fireplace. I was not all that surprised when she produced the pair of wooden swords from behind her after Thalia gave her the good news.

I wondered for about the one millionth time if we were situated okay as far as food was co
n
cerned. We’d loaded as much as we could, and even managed to bag a few deer. However, now that it looked as if we would be stuck here for the long haul, it was simply another thing for me to fret over.

Looking over my shoulder at everybody, I took in a few o
b
servations. I hadn’t had a lot of time to just sit and think in I couldn’t recall how long. Sunshine and Jon were sitting on the wooden bench by the window where the outside thermometer could be seen. All I cared about was that it was obviously cold enough to snow. I didn’t need a thermometer…I could just look and know.

My gaze lingered on the pair. Sunshine was leaning in close as the two were immersed in conve
r
sation. I could see her left hand keep drifting over to Jon, brushing his. As for Jon, his gaze never left Sunshine’s face. His chin rested in his hand and he simply stared.

The world was freezing and love still blooms. I was happy for them, I really was. Having Melissa meant
always
having a reason to survive. Once more, I was amazed at how much I’d gained as the world came to an end.

I looked back outside just as something dark shot past. My mind did a quick check; Fiona was up in the tower on watch. She was one that I never had to worry about when it came to falling asleep on duty. So if it wasn’t her, then who?

“Daddy!” Thalia came bounding into the room all excited with Emily on her heels. “Can we go out on our sleds now?”

“Sweetie, not now,” I said as I climbed to my feet. “Jon, get Jake, Jesus and Brad.”

“But, Jamie is outside…he can watch us,” Emily insisted.

“What!” Every head popped up almost in unison.

“Jamie went outside,” Emily repeated with a bit of trepid
a
tion.

Climbing to my feet, I headed to the front door. That obv
i
ously explained what had just shot past my window. The only reason I reached the porch first was because I was closest. In seconds I was joined on the porch by Jon, Sunshine, DeAngelo, and Billy. It wasn’t hard to spot Jamie. He was dressed in jeans and a dark blue pullover sweatshirt.

“What the heck is he doing?” Billy asked.

“Go get your gear on, kid” Jon ordered. Billy nodded and went back inside without a question.

“You think bringing him is the best choice?” I asked after Billy was inside.

“Jamie isn’t planning on coming back,” Jon said grimly. “The only chance of talking him in is to bring one of his friends.”

“He headed down the trail towards the camp sites,” Sunshine offered. “Why go there instead of up the road or just out into the woods?”

I thought about it for a second. An idea came. I admit it was a stretch, but it was worth a shot.

“I’m coming with you,” I insisted.

“You think that is a good idea?” Jon asked, his gaze going to my bad leg.

“Not entirely,” I admitted. “However, I’ve known the kid longest with the exception of Billy, and I knew Teresa…spoke to her at the end. Maybe I can talk him down from the ledge.”

“If Dr. Zahn asks, I’m telling her I advised you against it,” Jon quipped.

“Tattletale,” I sniped back.

The twenty minutes that it took us to get on our gear seemed like hours. By then I had fended off Melissa and Dr. Zahn. They both called me a variety of synonyms for “idiot” as I slipped my feet into my boots.

“Do you understand that your leg still has substantial healing left?” Dr. Zahn scolded. “I didn’t fix you so that you could wander out and break it again.”

“I was with her at the end, Doc,” I said. “I was also with him when he thought he was infected and about to die. It was me who he came to when he wanted to be put down. I just think I should be the one there when we find him to tell him why he needs to come back. Plus…I owe that much to T
e
resa. She wanted me to keep an eye on him after she died and that is what I intend to do.”

“Going out and getting yourself killed in this weather doesn’t do anybody any good,” Melissa launched another arg
u
ment when the pleading and name calling obviously hadn’t helped. “Just like your argument about doing what is right to take care of Thalia and Emily if it came to it…how can you go out in that and risk your life, Jon’s and Billy’s?”

“We are going out into the snow…not into a horde of zo
m
bies,” I countered.

“Both kill you just as dead,” Dr. Zahn shot back. I hate b
e
ing double-teamed.

“Yes, but the difference is that if the weather becomes too dangerous, we can head back.”

“The question is will you,” Melissa said without missing a beat. “You are the type who will keep telling yourself that it is just a bit farther. There comes a time where you pass the point of no return.”

“Jon and Billy will be with me,” I reminded.

“And Jon might be the only person worse than you at admi
t
ting defeat,” Melissa retorted. “As for Billy…that is the last of his childhood friends out there. You don’t think he will go until it is too late to come back?”

I had to admit that all of her points were good ones. Once we got outside that door, we were ou
t
side of the only place even moderately safe for the time being. The snow was bad enough that we had lost sight of Jamie before he even reached the tree line.

We were risking three lives to save one. At what point did that stop being acceptable? When did the time come when we could allow one of ours to die? I remember watching movies like
Saving Pr
i
vate Ryan
way back when and asking myself if there was really justification in saving one person at the risk of several. I held to the belief that the only person who ever got it right in the movies was Spock. That whole “needs of the few” thing always seemed a much smarter recourse. Now I unde
r
stood. It wasn’t logic at all…it was being human. If we let that part of us die, were we any better than the zombie?

I made sure to kiss Thalia and Emily and tell them that I would hurry back. I was met at the door by Melissa and Dr. Zahn, who both had stern looks on their faces.

“I understand why we need to try,” Melissa said. “What I don’t understand is why it has to be you.”

“We’ve been through a lot over the past few months,” I said. I know it wasn’t much of an answer, but it was the best I could offer. I kissed her and stepped outside into the wind, the snow…and the cold.

“His tracks will be easy to follow,” Jon said. I noticed that he had to practically yell to be heard above the wind.

I looked around and took in our surroundings. At some point, I had decided that this would be a good spot to dig in. I realized now that there were probably better locations not nearly as high up in altitude. There was nothing to be done about it at the present. I certainly couldn’t uproot everybody and move them just as winter was revving up.

I followed Jon down the stairs and into the white. It didn’t take long for the pain to ramp up, but I’d be damned if I was g
o
ing to show it. Billy was behind me, and a couple of times, I felt his hand on my back to keep me from falling.

“He started slowing down,” Jon called over his shoulder. “The tracks have changed. It looks like he started bogging down right around here.”

We continued walking and I stopped being able to feel my hands or feet after a while. My nose felt like it would shatter if I touched it.

Then we ran into our first zombie.

Jon stopped and I ran right into his back. I guess that, at some point, I had dropped my head and simply followed in his footsteps.

“Company,” was all he said.

I looked up and saw it. For the first time, I wasn’t really worried by the appearance of a zombie. This thing was having a hell of a time. It had slid down a sheer slope that took it to the creek. Every time it tried to stand and take a step forward, it lost its footing and ended up on its ass in the water. I could see ice already crusting its matted hair. Our arrival had sent it into a ti
z
zy and it was desperately trying to get up and climb the hill.

Billy stepped forward and drew a blade, but Jon stopped him. “That thing ain’t getting up that i
n
cline,” Jon said. “You kill it and it is likely to still be here in the spring. Leave it be. It’ll eventually move on.”

Billy shrugged and we continued on our trek. Sure enough, Jamie was taking us to the camp site that he had gone to when we thought I was going to have to kill him. We slogged up a small hill and passed the vague entrances to a few more sites u
n
til we finally reached the one where we found Jamie. He was sitting against a tree with his head down. There was enough snow on him that I was pretty sure we were too late.