Darnay Road (30 page)

Darnay
Road 52

We
have to go back in the game. But it’s hard for me to think. Thank goodness Easy
seems very sure that Aunt May is going to come looking for us if we don’t make
a show.

“Listen
to me,” he says, and I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open. I swear I’m in
some kind of stupor. Easy’s warm lips on mine, it’s melted me like a lit
candle. “You my girl?”

My
Girl. That song that’s given me so much trouble. But—his girl?

“Yes,”
I say, like I’m Mae West. I have this embarrassing slur to my voice. I wish I
hadn’t smoked either cause my breath is all Winston, but so is his.

“That’s
right,” he says. “Don’t ever forget. I’m going to kiss you every day I’m here.
Okay?”

I
nod. I really can’t talk well. I’ve already got two handfuls of his jacket. I
might kiss him again.

“C’mon,”
he says.

“Easy…like
go steady?” I’m just trying to understand. I’ve never had a boyfriend, well
except for him, but I mean like a real one that wasn’t in Tennessee, so I’m
leaping to ‘going steady,’ like in the Barbie Game, like I got a card that
carried me to that space so I don’t really know the steps.

“Yeah. I’ll get you
something before I go so you can wear it.”

“Okay.”
I am staring at him. I just said I’d go steady and it’s happening
fast…everything is.

“But…well
I’ve got this.” And I do. I wiggle my bracelet from the cuff of my jacket. It’s
an I.D. bracelet, silver, monogrammed with my name, “Georgia.” Granma got it
for me for birthday fourteen. I pretty much love it. But…it’s way better to
think of Easy having it. It won’t fit his wrist, but he can keep it around to
remember me by.

He
takes it like I’ve given him the Hope Diamond. If you don’t know what that is,
it’s at the Smithsonian, which I hope to visit one day, and it’s a really huge
diamond.

“Thanks,”
he says, staring at the bracelet. “Thanks Georgia. I’ll keep it with me. It’ll
bring me luck.” His smile, it makes me take the shakiest breath. I pretty much
wish I had the Hope Diamond cause I’d give it to him as well except it has a
curse so of course I wouldn’t. But my bracelet is nothing but lucky because it
brought Easy back to me.

So
he kisses that bracelet instead of me, and he puts it in his pocket. “You
better not tell your granma just yet,” he says like he’s just thinking it out.

“Don’t
worry,” I say. I will not be telling Granma.

“I’ll
get you something, too.” We are just looking at each other. “Ballerina.”

I
laugh a little but it’s kind of nice. I mean I like it fine.

“C’mon,”
he says.

We
can tell it’s half time by the number of people pouring out of the building
even though it is cold, but some smoke in the gym, in the lobby where there are
ashtrays, but some come outside cause it smells like old socks in there when it
gets too hot and the smoke layers over. Easy gets out first and holds the door
for me and I scoot out. He takes my hand.

“I…I
thought you didn’t want to go inside,” I say. I mean about it being too close
in there. I really wonder if he still wants to take off.

“Changed
my mind,” he says, and his smile. I guess he’s feeling as loopy as I am.

So
he’s holding my hand, like hard, and we walk very quietly back to the gym. People
stare at us. Everyone does. I can’t blame them for staring at him. He did that
tackle and he showed up at school in his uniform and he’s holding my hand so I
guess it’s official that he’s not my cousin or something. I mean, I’ve gone to
kindergarten with a lot of these and now I have this older boy holding my hand.
It’s pretty remarkable. And sudden.

Once
at the gym he lets go of my hand and holds the door for me so we’ve broken
apart and I know that’s how it will be. I put my hands in my jacket pocket and
so does Easy. What happened in the car, it’s ours now. It makes me think of
sharing myself with him, how that would be. I’m not even sure what goes on, how
it’s done. But it must be pretty wonderful even if it’s probably very
embarrassing.

I
just keep following Easy. Aunt May is standing in the bleachers and drinking a
Coca-Cola.

She
raises her eyebrows when she sees us, mostly me. Easy waits so I can go in
first.

“Where
have you been?” she says, her eyes on me.

“Outside,” I answer,
and I have the cold hands to prove it so I touch her cheek and she says, “Mercy
me.”

“You
missed it,” I say. “They arrested that guy who was shouting the protests.”

I
am telling the truth. But I’m a liar, too. It’s like a dark power I try not to
use, but now seems the time to use it.

“Are
you sick? You’re very flushed,” she says feeling my forehead with the back of
her hand.

I’m
sure I’m even more flushed now. “I…need a soda,” I say. I turn to ask Easy if
he wants one too, and he’s talking to a ragamuffin, also known as his brother
Cap.

I
wave a little, then rear back and introduce Cap to Aunt May. She turns her
probes on him and she looks him up and down. Up and down, and I can see the
‘mercy me,’ in that look cause he has no idea but Aunt May has gone out on a
limb on Cap’s behalf and my poor, poor granma. That’s what May is thinking
about now is my guess.

Cap
says, “Hi,” to May and May says, “Young man.”

Then
he gets to talking to Easy again and I fold my arms and drum my fingers a
little. I wonder how long I’ll have to wait to kiss Easy again. I wonder if
he’ll kiss me again tonight. Did he just say every day like he was done for
this day, or did he imply there’d be more? He kissed my bracelet and he could
have gotten in another one. I mean, I was ready. But I guess it’s like pie. One
should be enough unless you’re a glutton.

I
just know I can hardly wait. I wonder how many girls in this school have felt
like I do now? And nobody really prepared me or maybe I’d of done it sooner.
But not with any boy in this school, of course, just with Easy.

I’m
going steady now. He’s got my bracelet in his pocket and his hands are in his
pockets too so it’s like he’s touching me. Not as good…but good.

“Have
you heard one thing I just said?” Aunt May asks me.

Has
Aunt May ever been kissed? Did she kiss Father Anthony? Oh God, while they
shared a book or something did he suddenly kiss her and spill his tea. That’s
just sick to think of.

“Georgia
Green,” May snaps.

I
look at May, but Abigail is suddenly there, standing on the bleachers a few
rows down that are mostly empty while people mill about waiting for the game to
start again. “Hey Cap,” Abigail is saying, her hands behind her back while she
balances there on her tip-toes for some reason.

 
He goes right to her, Cap does, steps along
the seats, wearing his raggedy jeans, and his dirty tennis shoes and pea coat
with his hair so long it’s sure to make some parents mad even though they are
used to it by now. But still people don’t always like it and here at school
they make them cut it and some of the boys grow their bangs as long as they can
and they get in trouble.

He
goes right to her and she is looking up at him and her face is so sweet and
bright. She is not disappointed in this grown up Cap at all it doesn’t seem
like. Of course I feel protective right off. He is tall and she is Abigail May.

“Georgia
Christine what is the matter with you?” Aunt May hisses as she elbows me.

“What?”
I say.

“I said is this Cap a
good young man? I think Vi is going to throw rocks at my house when she sees him.”

She
has whispered this so Easy doesn’t hear, but he is talking to someone, another
boy who remembers him.

“Um…he’s
very nice,” I say, watching Abigail giggle at something Cap says. Oh my,
Abigail May. She better not kiss him. I don’t think she could take it.

They
blow the horn then and that means it’s going to start, but Abigail May ignores
that and keeps talking to Cap and she never ignores that horn.

We
all sit then and Easy is shaking that boy’s hand, then he checks for his space
and sits next to me, right up against me and I clear my throat and fold my arms
and he’s folded his and that’s when I feel his fingers searching for mine. I
give him two, no plan at all, and he wraps his around mine and you wouldn’t
know unless you were expecting it, which I sure wasn’t.

“You
didn’t get your soda,” Aunt May says. “And Abigail May needs to get her little
self into line.”

The
cheerleaders have lined up and they are waving their pom-poms as they await the
team and the crowd is clapping and warming up as people still hurry to their
seats and Cap stays standing as he watches Abigail May run off and get her pom
and jump around with the biggest smile.

I
look briefly at Easy, and yes, he is real. And we’re going steady. And I don’t
know what I’ll do when he leaves. He smiles at me and I feel his fingers press
mine so tight. Everyone stands as the team runs out, and Cap drops beside Easy
and I hear him say Abigail May is pretty and Easy laughs, and I just want
now--forever.

Darnay
Road 53

There
is a sock hop after every home game. I don’t know how Easy makes the happy
decision we are going but we are and Aunt May is approving. Now often I go to
the sock hops where I’ve had my difficulties like I said, and Abigail May
always goes to these disasters to show school spirit and twirl, but I am with
Easy though I am not even standing by him as it helps me think…and not feel so
guilty. I don’t know why I’m guilty but I am.

Usually
when we go to the sock hops Ricky brings us home. Sometimes we stop to get an
ice cream but sometimes he’s mad about losing the game, or something else so we
go straight home. He teases me about dancing with other boys, but it’s the kind
of teasing that feels mean. And what he doesn’t know, you can’t tell a boy no
thanks when he’s nice and he’s gotten up his nerve. But mostly Abigail tells
Ricky, “Shut up, fruit.” She’s very brave with him so I don’t have to be. But
when she says it we laugh and laugh and he swears he’s not bringing us home
next time or ever again.

At
our school, ‘fruit,’ is the favorite put-down word. If a friend calls you a
fruit, it can be kind of…endearing in a weird way. But it can also be said very
meanly and insulting. It’s also handy because you can say it in front of
parents and grandparents even and not get in trouble. It’s disrespect, but we
just do it to each other. And not to teachers, except behind their backs.

It looks like we are
going to the sock hop, even Easy. I just can’t imagine him there, but he is
laughing with Cap and Abigail May is rounding us up, so it will happen.

“You
don’t have to do this,” I tell Easy once we’ve said goodnight to Aunt May and
been reminded of curfew which is ten-thirty. We are not to leave the dance,
which is chaperoned of course, by a nun and priest and parents. We are to come
straight home. She also speaks to Ricky and he stares at Easy and Cap, though
he and Cap have seemed friendly already, patting one another on the back and
Ricky making fun of Cap’s hair and his bell-bottoms which no one here has yet
to wear. Ricky agrees then snaps another player with his towel and runs off.
He’s happy because Bloody Heart won.

So
finally Aunt May leaves and she will tell Granma. So I stand far away from Easy
and Abigail May is jumping up and down with Aunt May practically still in
ear-shot, and she’s yelling, “Yipee, we’re going to the dance to shake a
tail-feather.”

She
goes in the locker room to change and I’m supposed to lead the Hardy Boys to
the cafeteria where we have the dance. I’m a little worried about Cap’s
hair…and pants. The hair is longer than is allowed, but this isn’t school time,
just school property so I don’t know how far that rule goes. Even the band
playing tonight looks like the Midwest’s version of the Beach Boys. Or they
never would have gotten the job, believe me. And those pants, well they are
almost un-American around here. Some wear them in public, but around here we’re
straight…about everything.

Easy
still has his hands in his pockets. I am walking between these two and it’s
still kind of hard to believe.

“Do
they have dances in Tennessee?” I say because I’m just not happy unless I’m
embarrassing myself. Tennessee is not outer-space or something. It’s one of the
stars on the red, white and blue.

“I
wouldn’t know,” Cap says.

“They
got a couple,” Easy says like he understands how to talk to a dimwit like me.

“You
ever go?” I say.

“No,”
Easy says. “We’re…not dancers.”

“Well
you don’t have to go to this,” I say. It certainly wasn’t my idea. We like the
band enough, Abigail and I do, and the whole school too. They play at almost
every single dance but they are good enough they have a record on the radio, a
forty-five about a race car. Most of their music is about race cars or girls on
the beach. And we don’t have a beach in Missouri. Not a real one so they are
the palest surfer-boys you’d ever want to meet.

I
say all of that as we walk over. As soon as we enter the dance one of the dads
stops Cap.

Cap
says, “I don’t go here. I’m not even from here.”

“Who
are you with?” the dad says looking at me. But I don’t have a dad he would know
as Officer Stanley doesn’t even come to church on Christmas much less join The
Knights of Columbus, like a lot of dads. And Officer Stanley has the new family
Granma pretty much refuses to acknowledge.

“He’s
with me.” I gesture to Easy, too. “I’m a student,” I say digging in my pocket
for my student I. D. which I flash quickly.

The man tells Cap to
get a haircut then he walks off like we’ve been the rude ones.

“Sorry,”
I say to Cap. I don’t know why I have to apologize for everyone in the world
but I don’t want Cap’s feelings to be hurt.

Easy
has been talking to a couple of kids but he heard I guess. He says to Cap,
“Maybe you should wait outside.”

I’m
really surprised that’s how he’s going to take it.

Cap
doesn’t seem to care. It’s like discrimination doesn’t even faze these two.

“He
can stay in,” I tell Easy.

“He’s
all right,” Easy says.

I
look through the glass door and Cap is already talking to a couple of boys.
He’s also bumming a cigarette. Smoking is not allowed, but kids get by with it
anyway.

So
Easy takes my hand and we walk along the back wall and he leans there and I
lean beside and he’s got my hand and it’s all I can think of.

“Why’d
you say yes to this?” I ask, just so nervous he’ll find it so stupid.

He
pulls me away from the wall a little and even though it’s a fast song he holds
me like it’s a slow one, his hands clasped at the small of my back, against my
hair, and I put my hands on the back of his neck like I wanted to. And it is
warm.

I
could easily go all the way in and lay my head on him, but it’s risky. If you
touch like that you can attract a chaperone who will make you both straighten
up. But I’m pretty impressed with Easy thinking ahead. Of course we can do things
here we couldn’t at Granma’s. And it looks fine. I mean, we’re just kids. I am.

“You
dance fine,” I say.

He
doesn’t comment. He’s looking at me like he’s trying not to smile.

Am
I on a date? Really close to it. I mean, if he’s asked outright, asked Granma…well
he did say he wanted to spend time with me and Granma just blew it away, like
she does. Ostrich, Aunt May said. I never really thought about her that way.
But maybe. Maybe that is Granma all right.

But
it wasn’t me, was it? Pink room, bomb shelter, he said. I hoped he didn’t see
me that way. Just an ostrich. I’m just a kid in school. I’m trying to read and
I have opinions, lots of them. But people don’t want to hear it, hear me too
much. “This isn’t the Georgia Green Dispatch,” Sister has said. “It’s “The
Quill.” You are one reporter, not thee reporter. Even the apostles came in an
even dozen and shared the load,” she says.

She
doesn’t know how she can hurt. Teachers can hurt and nuns can hurt. I wasn’t
trying to fill the whole rag.

She
said my article was too long. I wonder what Easy would think of it, my article
on Vietnam. I wonder if he’d hold me like this, like me this much if he knew
what I really thought about the war.

“What’s
the matter?” he says and when he speaks, or I do, and I haven’t said much, but
when I do we pull back and look at each other. The band plays one song after
another and we haven’t really moved off this same spot.

“Why
do you think something is the matter?”

“I
don’t know. I feel thoughts racing through you.”

I
pull in my chin. “I don’t think so.” How can he feel my thoughts?

We continue our strange
non-dance which just means we hold each other and barely move foot to foot.

“You
want to go talk to your friends or something?” he says.

“No.”

“You
want to dance like this?”

“Yes.”

We
move closer and continue to ignore the beat.

I
didn’t expect to love Easy when I was a kid. It just happened. And it keeps
happening, this feeling. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it, but I
know it’s giving myself to it that will change my life before it’s even started
very much.

And
I do give myself. Which is saying something because I don’t just give myself.
Just to my country, maybe God, Granma and Abigail May for sure. And Easy.

After
another song we get a tap on the shoulder and I lift my head. I don’t know when
it found its way over Easy’s heart, and I’ve barely been aware we are in the
place where I eat lunch almost every day. I’ve been so lost in Easy I didn’t
even know time had passed in the usual way.

“You
two need to straighten up,” Sister says. “Georgia Green, who is this young
man?”

“Eas…Ethan
Caghan. He’s a soldier.” I am only telling all this so she shows him some
kindness.

“Not
from our school? How old are you young man?”

“Sixteen,”
Easy says, his hands still on me and mine on him though we have allowed some
space.

“Well
you are forgetting yourself, and a soldier knows discipline, yes?’

Easy
doesn’t answer. He just smiles at her. He wasn’t raised to fear…or revere women
in veils, even modern ones that only reach their shoulders.

“Well
you two need to dance with others. Come out of this dark corner.”

She
moves her hand and Easy moves his hands to take one of mine and we walk off
some. I look back and she’s still watching.

We
practically walk into Dennis and I introduce him to Easy and he looks at our
hands joined like that and I think he’s a little surprised because I have never
mentioned someone like Easy. But he is nice to Easy and they talk about the
military because Dennis already knows Easy is the soldier who met me after
school.

And
while they are talking I say I’ll be right back and off I go in search of
Abigail May.

I
can’t find her anywhere. Normally she is dancing right in front of the band but
she isn’t there. I get stopped by some older girls and they ask about Easy.

I
know them but normally they do not give me the time of day. They play in
sports, field hockey and volleyball and basketball and they date the boys that
do the same.

“Is he your boyfriend,”
the biggest one, Rita asks me. She pretty well runs eleventh grade and she’s
the best in sports. Boys are afraid to go against her when we have co-ed gym.
Ricky took her to a dance once and we teased him, yes the mean kind, and he
said she was too bossy. But the ones in these groups are very involved in who
one another dates. There are the approved girls for the approved boys. I know
how it goes because it started the summer of seventh grade, the order, and I
was barely aware, Abigail and me still working cases, mostly breaking the case
of Aunt May and Father Anthony, occasionally dressing our Barbie’s and
pretending we weren’t playing with them and loving it.

 
I can’t believe these Bloody Heart jocks give
one another so much say. They move in groups, packs. Teams. One brain. No
brain. But they are the top layer of this cake called high school. I figure,
let them have it. It’s just a glorified Twinkie as in—stack of Twinkies.

I
just nod. It’s so strange to be saying yes to Rita’s question, but I don’t know
what else to say. I feel protective of Easy. Like they could hurt him when I
know they can’t. They have no power to hurt him. He doesn’t care. I don’t care.
It’s kind of a great thing to suddenly know. Next to Vietnam they are
fireflies.

I
just walk away then. “He’s a looker,” she says to her friends. “I guess every
good man needs a dog,” and they laugh.

Ricky
is pulling on my arm then. “Hey, you don’t even know what you’re doing. Your
Granma needs to leave them at Disbro’s. I’m going to talk to her.”

He’s
taken his hand off my arm and he swallows a belch.

“You
gonna sneak him to your room?” he says, exhaling alcohol.

Ricky
came in my room uninvited just last week. Granma was up the street getting her
magazines and Abigail was there and Aunt May sent him over for Abigail May,
which was a lie and he admitted it. He says he knocked, cause he’s supposed to
unless Abigail May is with him. But up he came and we were in my room listening
to music. He looked at everything and Abigail jumped on his back to get him
out. He hadn’t been in there for years and I was just glad my laundry wasn’t
all over like usual.