Darkness Before Dawn (19 page)

The youth didn’t turn around, much less acknowledge the girl’s pronouncement. Frozen
in place, his mind was whirling. So
that
was the widow! Who knew she looked like a fashion model? Until a few moments ago,
he’d figured her as just another washed-out relic for another age. And who knew she
had that kind of fire? She went after him with more energy than any defender he’d
ever met on the court or the gridiron.

“What’s wrong, Jim?” Candy questioned as she came up beside him and glanced in the
direction he was looking.

Turning away from the window, Thomas swallowed hard. “What do you mean?”

“You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“No, not a ghost,” he murmured, almost under his breath. Then, once again looking
back in the direction in which Meg had driven off, he shook his head. “But maybe I
just met the devil.”

“What?” She all but laughed.

Turning, Jim grabbed the girl’s shoulders and looked her straight in the face. “You
know that woman that was in here?”

“I don’t know her,” she answered. “I guess I might have seen her before, but I don’t
know her name.” Candy grinned, “Jim, she’s too old for you.”

“It’s not that,” he said dropping his hands and walking back to the counter, “not
that at all.” Pushing his fists into his letter jacket, he tilted his head to the
side. What were the odds of his walking in when she’d had been here? And why had he
stupidly said anything?

“You look really weird,” Candy noted as she strolled to the other side of the counter.
“Was that woman kind of sketchy or something?”

His eyes once more caught hers. “You know the guy that died in the accident?”

“You mean that night after the party by the lake?”

“What other night would I mean?” he barked.

“Hey, I’m not stupid,” she said, her eyes drifting down to the countertop, “just wanted
to make sure we were on the same page. Sure, I remember the night. How could I forget
it? Watching that other guy burn was not something I can erase, if you know what I
mean? You were so out of it you don’t remember anything about that night. At least
that’s what you’ve claimed. Is that true?”

He nodded. “Yeah, it’s true. That night’s a blank for me. Anyway, that guy we hit,
well, that was his wife.”

“Hey,” she shot back, “you were driving, so I had nothing to do with hitting him.”
After fully justifying her innocence, she folded her arms across her chest and whispered,
“Wow, bet she’s hurting.”

“More than hurting,” he explained, “she’s creepy! She wants a piece of me.”

Candy looked back to her friend, “You’re not scared of her are you? After all, your
dad can fix anything.”

Jim nodded as he turned back toward the window. His dad could probably keep him out
of jail. He’d already bought him a new car. But there was still something about that
woman that spooked him. He’d never felt fury like that. Her words had scorched him
like a flamethrower. He reached back, grabbed the cleaning, and strolled toward the
door. The girl’s voice attempted to stop him just as he reached the exit.

“What about the bill?”

Without looking back, Jim answered, “Put it on my dad’s account.”

Stepping out into the street, he glanced both ways. There were no yellow Mustangs
and there was no woman with fire in her eyes. Still, he didn’t feel safe. Rushing
to his car, he jumped in and drove straight home.

M
EG HAD AVOIDED HER MOTHER SINCE THE FACE-TO-FACE JUST DAYS AFTER
the funeral. Yes, she had talked with her on the phone, but the simple explanation
of her wanting to be alone had surprisingly kept Barbara from her door. So she was
shocked when that Thursday evening knock on the door came from her mother’s hand.

“What are you doing here?” Meg asked in a harsh tone, as she watched her mother push
by her.

Unbuttoning her coat and tossing it on the chair, Barbara had a strange look in her
eye as she studied her daughter.

“What’s this all about, Mom? I thought you understood I wanted to be alone. Thought
we agreed that I’d come to your place when I was ready to move on.”

“Heather told me,” Barbara answered, opening her arms as if she wanted a hug.

Crossing her arms, Meg asked accusingly, “Told you what?”

“About the baby.” Her mouth was now framed with a huge smile.

Why didn’t Heather keep her mouth closed? Why did she have to blab that information
to, of all people, her mother? This was news that should have never seen the light
of day.

“This has to be one of the greatest blessings in the world,” Barbara continued. “Imagine
the comfort it must be to know a part of Steve will still be with you. God is good!”

Shaking her head, Meg answered, “I wouldn’t call it a blessing and let’s not even
go to that part of about God.”

“What do you mean? Every child in a blessing.”

“Sit down, Mom. I’ve got something to tell you.”

Meg moved past her mother and took a seat in Steve’s recliner. Barbara found a spot
on the couch. For a few seconds, Meg stared at her mother trying to figure out how
to give her the news about the choice she’d made. Try as she could she simply couldn’t
find the words.

“Mom, I don’t want this child.”

“I can understand that, but in time, when you have come to deal with what happened,
you will treasure this gift. I mean, there is nothing like a child. You and your sister
have meant so much to my life. Even more with your father gone.”

As Meg watched her mother, sitting there with her hands in her lap, a compassionate
look on her face, and obvious hope in her heart, she wanted to run. Yet she couldn’t.
Monday was just three days away and the woman had to know what was going to happen.

“Mom, I’m terminating this pregnancy.”

“What?”

“I’m having an abortion.”

“You can’t.”

“Actually, I can and I will.”

“But,” Barbara struggled for words, “it isn’t right. This goes against everything
I’ve taught you. And what about Steve’s parents? They deserve a grandchild from their
only son.”

“It is not about Steve’s parents,” Meg gently cut in. “It is about me. It is about
what I want and what I can live with. And
I can’t live with carrying a baby much less dealing with Steve’s child. It would be
too painful.”

“I-I-I just can’t believe that any daughter of mine would consider something like
this.”

Meg knew exactly what the “this” was and she was ready with a response that would
put her mother in her place. Though not embracing the rage she had hurled at Thomas,
her tone still displayed a calm but derisive fury, “Oh, I’ll bet you that Terri wouldn’t
think twice before doing it. She’s probably had one or two.”

Meg grinned as she watched her mother wilt under the spot-on observation.

“All right,” Barbara looked down at her lap as she spoke, “you may be right. But the
daughter I was talking about was you. You’ll regret this decision, Meg. Oh, I just
know you will.”

“Listen, Mom.” Meg’s voice showed little patience. “If you’re going to start this,
then leave now. You’re not welcome here or in my life. You support me or you get out.”

“I just can’t let you do this,” Barbara answered mournfully.

“You can’t stop me.”

“You’re right,” Barbara admitted. “I can’t stop you the way I did when you were sixteen
and you wanted to go on that overnight trip with those kids from school. You were
fit to be tied that I was such a prude to not let you go that time. But when those
kids got arrested and Julie turned up pregnant just a few weeks later, well, you—you—you
had to admit that I was right. And I’m just as sure about this.”

“Mother,” Meg snapped. “Maybe you were right then. But even if you had let me go,
I wouldn’t have gotten into any trouble.” Then, seizing on something her mother had
just mentioned, she continued. “You know, Mom. I’ll bet you that if Julie had had
an abortion rather than having that kid, she’d be alive today.”

Julie Evans’s life was indeed tragic. She’d been so young, so misguided. At one time,
she had been an honor student with a future. Then next, a dropout, working in a cheap
diner, caring for a child she hadn’t wanted and didn’t need. Meg had visited her a
few times and had never seen a person so unhappy. Then one night, Julie had been walking
to the ratty old apartment she and the baby had called home, and someone, no one knew
who, had raped and killed her. She had only been seventeen. Now Julie’s tragic ending
was the trump card Meg needed to put her mother in her place.

“Meg,” Barbara quietly argued. “Julie’s situation was very much different from yours.
She didn’t have anyone who really cared about her. You do. I’ll help you. You know
that. It can bring us closer together. It will be good for both us and our relationship.”

Meg had the upper hand and she realized it. Quickly grabbing her chance, once and
for all, to shut her mother up, she cruelly lashed out. “If it hadn’t been for people
like you—folks from our church—Julie would have had an abortion. She wanted one, but
the guilt you and your friends laid at her feet got to her. There’s no telling where
she would be today if you all had allowed her to do what she wanted.”

She took a deep breath then spat out, “Mom, Julie didn’t want that kid, she wanted
a chance to be a kid. And look, her kid is being raised in the filth of her alcoholic
parents’ home. What chance has that kid got?”

“We couldn’t have predicted that,” Barbara quietly said. “We had no idea her baby
would end up back with her parents. That was and continues to be sad. But I’m praying
for them.”

“Well, Mom, you can pray all you want to, but let me assure you, Julie and I have
something in common. I don’t want this kid either. I want to feel good again. Today
I’ve thrown up six times. I’m sick of that and I’m sick of being pregnant. I don’t
need a child to remind me for the rest of my life of something I loved and lost. There
is nothing, not even this baby, that will bring Steve back. And I’m going in on Monday
and having an abortion and that is it. There’s nothing that you or anyone else in
this world can do.”

“Meg,” Barbara pleaded. “If you abort this baby, then you’re just as bad as that kid
you hate so much for killing Steve. As a matter of fact, every newborn baby that you
see for the rest of your life will haunt you just like seeing people drink and drive
will haunt you. Think about it!”

“Shut up, Mom,” Meg stood up as she yelled. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“I’m going to pray that you change your mind. I’m going to pray that God wakes you
up!”

“Stop it, Mom. Praying is not going to get you any nearer to me. It fact it will drive
us further apart. Now, pick up your coat and get out of here. Don’t send anyone to
see me either. I don’t want to hear from the preacher or anyone else. And I don’t
want you to call me until after this is over. And don’t call Steve’s parents. They’re
never to know about this! You understand? If you tell them, it means you and I will
never have a chance at being close again!”

Grabbing her unwelcome visitor’s coat, Meg tossed it to her mother. Barbara stood
and slipped on the gray wool jacket, looking all the while as if she wanted to say
something else, but held back. Instead, she swallowed hard and slowly and sadly walked
to the door. Just before she opened it, she looked back at her daughter.

“I love you.”

“I know you do, Mom. But don’t say anything else. The subject is closed. Nothing you
can do will change my mind. I’m not doing this to spite you. I love you, too.”

Barbara nodded, opened the entry, and walked out. Meg followed her to the threshold,
pushed the door shut, and locked it. Moving back across the room, she once again sat
in Steve’s favorite chair. She’d won. She knew she had. What she’d said made more
sense than what her mother had countered with. And yet, the victory seemed so hollow
because, like Nancy had, her mother said a few things that rocked her.

Meg was extinguishing a life, but at least this life didn’t have a family or loved
ones yet. It didn’t have a past and now it wouldn’t have a future. And even though
Meg felt a little bit ashamed that she wasn’t willing to give birth, she was sure
that she couldn’t face the pain of having to deal with someone who would remind her
of Steve. Even at this moment, just glancing at his picture caused her to hurt in
more ways than she could believe possible. No, she had to keep her mind on the goal.
A baby and old memories combined with the words of a woman dying of cancer and her
mother couldn’t get in the way. Not now and not ever!

O
N
F
RIDAY MORNING, THE FIRST THING
M
EG DID WHEN SHE ARRIVED FOR
her shift at the hospital was to share every facet of the Comet Cleaners encounter
with Heather. She described in great detail the way the boy had tossed off his crude
remarks and how she shocked the teen by turning and putting him in his place. As the
story ended, Heather gave her a big hug and told her how proud she was of her.

Just before she had concluded her rounds that day, Meg even stopped by Nancy’s room
to tell her about the unexpected meeting. Nancy sympathized with Meg, especially concerning
the boy’s cocky attitude and unnecessary flirting, but unlike Heather, she hadn’t
laughed when Meg informed her how she’d blown him away. In fact, the only thing Nancy
said was, “That child needs help.” Meg assured the patient that Thomas would soon
be getting all he deserved.

After relishing in her small victory all day Friday, Meg spent Saturday being lazy.
She never got out of her nightgown and didn’t call or text anyone. Instead, she just
flipped on Turner Classic Movies and watched every classic film the channel aired.
Fortunately, most were comedies, and none dealt with
the death of a spouse. So, for one day only, the bad memories stay buried.

Sunday, Meg got up, read the paper, and did a thorough cleaning of the apartment.
She even reorganized her drawers in the kitchen and bedroom. After taking a late afternoon
nap, she looked out the window and noted that the signs of the winter’s passing had
been premature. As Meg slept, the skies once again had turned gray and a strong, cold
wind whipped out of the north. Still, despite the fact she’d always hated cold weather,
Meg felt strong and strangely satisfied. That strength and satisfaction had been born
during her chance meeting with Jim Thomas in the cleaners. Now she felt like she could
do anything. That unexpected meeting had been exhilarating. It was as if she’d been
reborn! In the span of five minutes, she went from a frightened kitten to a ferocious
tiger.