Dark Secrets (11 page)

I was angry to find it so hard to get her to like me again and because of this I lashed out at her a lot. I regret it now. If I could change the way I behaved, I would.

The first time I was ever civil towards her we wound up in a huge argument. Only this time, I wasn’t the one who started it. She acted as if she were dying to lash out at somebody.

Her arrogance did things to me that could never be explained. Our argument sparked a part of me long dead and before I knew what I was doing… I grabbed her and kissed her. I could tell we were both shocked by my reaction. She responded much better than I would have ever imagined. Until Damien ruined it. For a while she was angry with us both. I figured it was because she had feelings toward Damien all along. It was the only explanation I could come up with at the time.

One night she disappeared. We searched for her all day long. It drove me insane. When I finally found her lying on the ground in the woods my heart dropped. I thought she was dead. For just a split second, I considered taking my own life. That’s when I realized how deep I had fallen. I was in love with this girl. Who’d a thunk it? I never saw that one coming…

We spent a considerable amount of time together after that; constantly talking, exploring, learning and teaching, we even slept in the same bed… not in the way I would have wanted though.

I brought her to my favorite field. I planned on telling her about our engagement that day. I even showed her the ring my grandfather had given me a long time ago. When I asked her if she thought my fiancée would want to marry me I thought for sure she’d come off with another sarcastic remark. Not knowing she was my fiancée, she told me anyone would be stupid not to. She even admitted to liking me and without thinking, without first explaining, I kissed her again.

We were interrupted once again, but this time for a good cause; Kai was in danger.

After the battle, Ember was badly injured and when she awoke she overheard a few of us talking about my need to tell her the truth. She went ballistic and I lost my temper. I found out things I didn’t know before; things I shouldn’t have forced out of her; things I regret not being there to protect her from.

Life has never been the same since. I doubt she will ever forgive me.

One thing is certain… without her I am nothing.

I have spent my entire life trying to fill the void in my heart and when I finally did it was torn away from me.

I’m such an idiot.

“I’m walking over dead grass

Running over dying sassafras

Where’s the life?

Where’s the wonder?

Our world’s been struck by thunder

We’re left to ponder what it is we did

How we couldn’t have seen it

We’re acting like a bunch of kids

And our world’s gone to shit

The time of purification is near

Who will survive?

Who will care?

Can we make this right?

Can we fix our wrongs and see the light?

Only time can tell

We cannot fail

This is our world to heal.”

Seventh Chapter: Magic

             
Chill morning air nipped at our skin as we traveled through the Elven Forest. We are about twenty miles from the kingdom and walking on foot. The dense woods stretch for as far as the eye can see. Morning dew coated the leaves of every tree and dripped down on us as we passed underneath.

              I wanted to feel useful so I offered to carry one of the bags and Kai. Kai was strapped on my back in a baby carrier; the bag strapped on my front.

I yawned, stretching as much as I could. My entire body was sore; my legs ached, my back pinched, and my muscles felt knotted. We have been walking for days and we’re not even halfway there.

              Lachlan took the lead, silent as ever, while Derek walked behind me and Damien walked a little to my left. I turned to look at Damien, who looked a little upset, and tripped over a tree branch that had fallen on the ground before me. For a second I thought I would fall and hit my face, but mostly I worried that I would hurt Kai. Luckily, someone caught me from behind.

              I turned around to see who it was; disappointed to see it was the last person I wanted near me. Derek held on a bit longer than he should have, staring deep into my eyes. I pulled away quickly and brushed myself off.

              “Thanks. But, I got it now.” I quipped. “How are you doing back there, baby?” I turn my head slightly to ask Kai.

              “I’m fine, Mommy. Thanks Derek.” He said with a grin.

              I turned around and started walking again, quicker this time to catch up to Lachlan and steer clear of Derek.

              We stopped to rest around noon to eat. The sky burned with the hot orange sun. I sat on an overturned tree and took Kai off my back, sitting him beside me, while Derek prepared the meal to be cooked and Lachlan started the fire. Damien wandered off, to where I wasn’t sure.

              I stared into the flames, mesmerized by the orange glow radiating off it. Kai interrupted my reverie by asking if we could practice magic. Kai has been learning quite a bit lately. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day he surpassed my abilities. He is quite extraordinary. He recently learned how to levitate. No matter how many times I try I can’t get off the ground for more than a split second.

              “How about we start with… hypnotism? Lachlan just recently taught me this so let’s see how easy it is for you. Okay?” I say to Kai.

              “Okay! How do I do it?” He replied with a smile brighter than ten suns.

              “Well, first you take this watch” I hand over the golden pocket watch that once was my grandfather’s, “and then you swing it back and forth in front of my eyes. I’m supposed to follow the watch as it moves while you count to ten. Use your mind to reach into mine and then ask me anything you want.” I stop for a moment to look into his eyes. He’s still smiling just as brightly. “Do you understand?”

              “Yup.” He enthuses as he begins swinging the watch back and forth, back and forth. I follow the progression and am surprised to find that I feel his presence in my mind already. So deep that before I know it I am in a deep trance. 

He begins easily; seriousness encompasses his entire body, “Mommy… why is you upset with Uncle Derek?”

              “He lied to me.” I reply without thinking.

              “What did he lie about?” He asked with scrunched up eyes.

              “Being his fiancée.” I don’t want to talk about this. I didn’t expect him to even notice the difference between us.

              “What’s a fiancée, mommy?” He inquires. I really wish I hadn’t suggested him learning this technique.

              “It means I am supposed to marry him.” I respond. I am seriously regretting this. I am desperately trying to come out of the trance. I don’t want to talk about this.

              “Does that mean he will be my new daddy?” He asks, excited.

              “Yes… if I go through with the marriage.” God, I wish this could stop.

              “Yay! I love Derek, Mommy. I want him as a Daddy!” He jumps up and down. “Mommy, you can wake up now. I’m done asking questions.” He grins really big and runs to jump in Derek’s arms.

              I sit there; dread filling my body as I shake my head to concentrate. I look towards Derek, who is smiling slightly, and Lachlan, who is pretending to not have noticed a thing. Kai gets up and starts dancing around. Tears stream down my face. How am I supposed to tell my son I can’t possibly go through with this marriage? I am even more confused than I was before. How am I supposed to disappoint that beautiful little boy of mine?

              “Would you two mind watching him? I need a little break” I ask. Both guys nod their heads yes, worry creasing their features. I get up and walk further into the woods.

              I walk for about half an hour before finding Damien standing in the middle of a small clearing, wielding a sword.

              Weapons lay in the grass along the edge of the tree line. I watch quietly as he swings his sword at an imaginary attacker. His fluidity is unbelievable; elegant, yet fierce. I stand there pondering why a vampire needed a sword in the first place.

              He turned toward me suddenly, “Would you like to try?” He asked with a smile. I hesitated for a moment, surprised he had noticed me there. But then again, he is a vampire after all. Super hearing is part of the package right?

              “Alright…” I say as I walk forward. He held the sword out to me, blade pointing at my feet. Ancient writing swirls around the hilt of the sword. I feel as if somehow I know what it says.

              “Is that Elven?” I ask, peculiarly.

              “Yes, yes it is. Your father gave it to me.” He smiled brightly. “Here. Take it.” I grasp the handle. Electricity courses through my veins. There’s a slight undercurrent radiating off the blade and through the handle as the Elven language embraces my arms.

              “What is that?” I ask, bug eyed.

              He chuckles at my reaction. “It’s infused with Elven magic. The symbols on the hilt are an incantation for protection and skill.” He says as he glides behind me.  “Alright… Spread your legs, grip the sword with both hands and swing at the invisible target.”

              Damien grabs my hands to position them correctly. He stepped back to get a closer look; eying me up and down with a bit too much interest and, dare I say it, appreciation. I feel a bit uncomfortable, yet flattered.

              “Invisible? As in you weren’t just cutting the air to pieces? You were actually aiming for something?” I laughed.

              “Yes and the target moves so use your senses to follow it.” He said as he cupped my inner thighs and pushed my legs farther apart, making me jump a little.

              “How am I supposed to do that when my best sense, eye sight, is useless?” I ask, quizzically.

              “Not those senses… use your Elven senses, your magical abilities; your foresight.”

              “I’m confused… I really don’t know how to connect with that part of myself yet.” I smile sheepishly. “Need I remind you that up until a few months ago I didn’t even know elves existed?”

              Damien smirks, “That does not matter in the least. It has always been a part of you and whether you realize it or not… you have been using that half of yourself your entire life. Now, try.”

              I give him a questioning look as I close my eyes and focus on connecting to my inner sense. Unexpectedly I feel Damien’s lips on mine. My eyes flash open and I step back quickly. But, he grabs hold of my waist and pulls me in for a second smack of the lips. I stumble back to get away.

              “Sorry” He whispered; shame in his eyes. “I had to do that at least once.” He shrugged. “Try again. I promise I won’t do it again.” He said as he raised his hands in front of his face and stepped backwards.

              “You did it twice.” I explain blandly.

              He cocks a heavy smile my way, passion filling his eyes. “Third time’s the charm, right?” Quirking his eyebrow he takes a step closer to me.

              “Uh. No.” I take another step back, “Stay back or I’ll swat you like a mosquito.” I glare.

              Hurt fills his eyes. He raises his hands in a gesture of apology and backs away a few steps.

I watch intensely and then close my eyes once again peeking at him once before concentrating on the task at hand.

I begin to imagine a ball of light gleaming from my midsection and working its way around my entire being; a protective shield encompassing my body and soul. I use that energy to wake up the part of me that is unexplained and connect with something far deeper than any elven heritage.

              Something unnatural is inside me. I can feel it seeping deep into my veins; a power that isn’t like anything I have even seen or imagined. It radiates through me as if it has a life of its own.

              Blue energy is rising through my blood vessels; connecting every fiber in my body. I hear a deep resonating trumpet sound coming from inside myself, as if I am waking up a part of me that has long been forgotten.

              I open my eyes to find Damien is standing a few feet in front of me. He looks as if he is trying to speak to me but I can’t hear a thing aside from the trumpets inside my head. He’s reaching for me but the blue energy is no longer simply in my veins. It has spread outward and created a very literal shield surrounding me.

              Damien’s sword is on the ground and in my hands is the sword from my arm. The blue energy has somehow forced it out of me and without even meaning to I had let the Elven sword go and grasped the Fairy sword.

              Holding the sword now I realize that this isn’t simply from the fairy realm… At first glance one would think the blue light that surrounded the sword was coming from me but instead the sword itself was glowing blue. As if something in the sword was connected to me on a genetic level; as if the sword were made for me specifically.