“Is it really a choice then, to become the vampire?” Tatijana asked.
“I haven’t been in that situation, but because the decision has to be made, give up one’s soul or follow your lifemate, it is decreed that it is a choice. I believe, in a moment of madness, anyone can make a bad decision.”
“How sad. How tragic.”
“It’s both,” he agreed. “But once he’s vampire, then there is no choice for the hunter. He must destroy the undead, even if it’s one’s father, brother or best friend. Vampires are wholly evil. Believe me, Tatijana, over the centuries, I’ve tried to reach one or two and pull them back.”
She nuzzled his throat. “Of course you did. You had little or no emotions, but you still had it in you to try.”
“We have memories. That is one thing we don’t lose. That is the one gift left to us. Our memories are vivid and very much alive. They do fade as the centuries go by, but we hold them close to us. Dimitri and I aided one another, keeping those important memories alive in one another. If not for him, I would have met the dawn a century ago. The pull of evil is so strong in a mixed blood. I think the predator is strong in both species, and when they come together it is far worse as time goes by and the gifts develop.”
“I feel sorry for Abel if he did lose a lifemate. I can’t imagine losing you. But Fen, if something happens to me, follow me. I don’t want to think of you lost without me and I can’t get to you to save you.”
She frowned up at him and he tried not to melt. It seemed a ridiculous thing to do for a Carpathian hunter and worse for a Guardian. One shouldn’t find their lifemate’s frowns adorable.
“I’ll do my best to always stay honorable, my lady,” he assured her.
“You’re worried about Dimitri, aren’t you?”
“I don’t worry that he will turn,” he said slowly. “The connection between Skyler and Dimitri is very strong. Intense. I’ve never seen anything like it, but, having said that, he puts himself in harm’s way more than I would like.”
She laughed softly. “In other words, he’s just like you. You throw yourself in front of people when there’s danger. Is that what you mean?”
He tugged on a strand of her hair. “He took me in even when I explained the dangers of what I was to him. He went into battle with me over and over and when we gave each other blood to survive, he knew the risks and still did it anyway.” He caught her chin and lifted it, forcing her to look up at him. “As you’re doing now.”
“And always, my Guardian, you have to know it is my choice. Just as it is Dimitri’s choice. None of us have control over what another does, we can only control ourselves. Dimitri is a strong man. He’s one of the best in any battle. He’s known for some time that he’s becoming as you are . . .”
“Yet he didn’t tell me until this evening.”
“He’s a man who handles his own life, just as you do,” Tatijana said. “He may be your younger brother, but he caught up with you many centuries ago. He has a need to protect you, just as you protect him. Skyler returned his emotions to him and he feels deeply. You can’t fault him for being a man.”
She spoke the truth and Fen knew it. Dimitri would always be his own man. He’d make his own decisions. Fate had given Dimitri the skills of a hunter and he’d excelled at his job.
“I love that the two of you are so close. I don’t know what I’d do without Bronnie. We definitely relied on each other all those centuries. It’s nice to know you understand that unbreakable bond we have.”
Fen sighed. The sky overhead was becoming lighter in spite of the rainclouds drifting across. “We have to go to ground, my lady.”
“I know.” She kissed his throat again. “I wanted this night to never end. I know you’re going to hunt Abel this next rising.” She paused to look up at him. “Aren’t you?”
“It has to be done. I can’t take the chance of waiting. He’s got a plan to kill Mikhail and he believes he can do it. That means the plan is already in place. I can’t wait for him to put it into motion and maybe get away with it. If I push him, actively hunt him, and he knows I’m coming for him, that might throw him off his game.”
Fen stood up, taking her with him, cradling her in his arms, close to his chest. He didn’t bother with clothes, there seemed no need. Both could regulate their body temperatures and she loved the feel of the rain on her skin. He was coming to love it as well.
“When it’s over, will we stay here? Make our home near the others?”
She was asking if they would remain close to her sister. Again she tried to hide that little anxious note from him, but he felt it would be impossible for him not to recognize when his lady was upset.
He leaned his head down and fastened his mouth to hers. She tasted like the rain. Like wild honey. Like Tatijana. She always made him hungry for more.
“I would never take you far from your sister,
sívamet,”
he assured when he had kissed her thoroughly. “I would never do anything that would make you unhappy.”
Tatijana’s eyes searched his. She nodded her head and tightened her hold on his neck. “Let’s go back to our little spot in the forest. I want to lie close to you for a while before we go to sleep. I need you to hold me.”
“Always,” he said, and took to the air.
19
T
atijana woke before Fen. She lay curled in his arms, her head on his shoulder, just as she had when they’d finally closed the earth over them. They’d made love two more times, and she knew part of that terrible hunger in her was sheer fear. The
Sange rau
terrified her. There would be no stopping Fen, or Dimitri for that matter. Both had sworn loyalty to the prince and the Carpathian people. They would defend Mikhail Dubrinsky with their lives.
She waved her hand to open the earth. It was dark in the forest, although still rather early in the evening. Tree branches swayed and danced to the wind. The rain had stopped, but gray clouds spun in the sky. A storm was coming. A big one. She pressed a hand to her wildly beating heart. She would not lose her lifemate to this monster. Strangely, last evening, when she thought it was possible Abel had turned because he’d lost his lifemate, she’d felt compassion for him. That was gone this rising. She only cared that Fen came home safe to her.
She took a deep breath of the fresh air. The rain always left behind a fresh, clean scent. Now, it was mixed with the soothing aroma of forest—trees and rich soil. She arranged her surprise for him, the candles set in a protection circle around soft blankets right out under the canopy so they could look up and see the night arriving through the beauty of the trees. Fen hadn’t seen much beauty these past centuries and she was determined to make up for lost time. She’d awakened early just for that purpose.
When she was ready, Tatijana floated him out of their sleeping quarters and over to the blanket, ensuring his body was clean and free of all rejuvenating soil. She knew he was aware, but he didn’t stop her or try to take over. That made her love him all the more. Fen always provided what she needed most. Right now, she needed to feel his strength and know they were both alive and well.
She crawled over the top of him, kissing her way up his thigh, his groin, the erection that was already becoming heavy and thick, his belly and chest with all that beautiful muscle definition. She traced the muscles with her tongue, exploring him, imprinting him into her bones, in her mind so there wasn’t a single inch of him she didn’t know.
His hands tangled in her hair as she took her time with her exploration. He turned his body over and let her do the same to the back of him and then each side. He never said a word, but she felt completely surrounded by his love. She’d never felt so close to anyone in her life. She knew he was telling her silently that he belonged to her. Whatever she needed, whatever she hungered for, he provided.
When she turned him back over and took his face between her hands, her body stretched out over his, so that every inch of her was pressed into him, she kissed him long and hard. Taking her time. Telling him she loved him with her mouth, with her hands.
When she lifted her head, Fen smiled at her. He traced her mouth with the pad of his fingers. “My turn,” he said abruptly and catching her in his arms, rolled her beneath him.
She couldn’t help the little thrill that burst through her. He was so strong, his body fit and hard, yet he never hurt her. Fen repeated her actions, exploring every inch of her, but she was certain he was far more thorough than she had been, he had her squirming and mewling like a kitten, her hips bucking at times when he used his tongue and teeth on her most sensitive nerve endings. He paid no attention, but took his time, making certain he didn’t miss a single spot.
He pulled her to her hands and knees, wrapping his arm around her waist and jerking her body back into him as he knelt up behind her. His hands massaged her buttocks, his finger slipping into her to make certain she was ready for him.
The position allowed him to go even deeper, to take her harder and faster. He started slow and gentle, giving her body time to get used to his invasion as he almost always did. Her sheath always seemed reluctant at first, so tight she strangled his cock, but then opening for him like a sensitive flower to allow his deeper penetration.
He seemed to know without words what she needed and he pounded into her, showing no mercy, taking her up fast and hard and then stopping just before her release. Over and over he built the tension, stretching them both out on a torturous rack of pleasure until she was nearly sobbing. Still he was relentless. Merciless.
Fen waited for her pleas. The chanting of his name. The music that always accompanied their lovemaking. He didn’t stop until he heard it, surging deep, his cock swelling gloriously, while her feminine sheath gripped and milked him. He heard his own hoarse cry blending with hers as jet after jet of hot seed filled her. The ripples went from her core to her breasts and down her thighs, the aftershocks nearly as strong as the orgasm itself and he felt them all, merged deep as he was in her mind.
Fen leaned over her, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling her back. “There is no better way to wake up, my lady, than with you like this.”
Tatijana didn’t say anything at all, but he felt her heavy sorrow pressing down on him.
Very gently, reluctantly, he withdrew, pulling her back onto his lap. She wouldn’t look at him and he had to grip her chin and turn her face up to his. There were tears on her face. “I will not die. I know you’re afraid, but I will not die.”
“I have a terrible feeling of dread.” She traced her finger over the faint image of the dragon over her ovary. “Sometimes, I know something bad is going to happen before it does. I don’t know what, but when I woke, I could barely breathe.”
“I will not die,” he reiterated. “I have battled the vampire for centuries and I have sustained many mortal wounds. It could very well happen again in this fight with Abel, but I survived without my lifemate. How much easier will it be for me this time? You are Dragonseeker. Mother Earth has accepted me as her son. We have Gregori close, a great healer, and young Skyler, who we both know is exceptional. I do not fear this. I don’t want you to be afraid either.”
Fen brushed at the tears on her face, and then leaned down to take one into his mouth, tasting her fear.
Tatijana knelt up in front of him, taking his face between both hands. “You are everything to me, and know this, wolf man. Should you go into the next life, I will follow. Look for me only minutes behind. I will not give you up.”
“There will be no need. Unless you see my body and know I am dead, do not even consider such a thing,” he cautioned. “I’ve come back from wounds worse than Dimitri’s. The wolf in me is strong and regenerates fast.”
Tatijana sat back on her heels. “Like the
Sange rau
. Abel can regenerate very fast, can’t he? Like everything else it speeds up with the length of time you’ve been a mixed blood.”
Fen wasn’t surprised that she was aware Abel would be a far cry from Bardolf. “True. But silver will still kill him. I just have to figure out where he set up his lair.”
“I woke you early so you would have time to prepare,” Tatijana admitted. “And feed from a Carpathian ancient, one with pure line. I will give you my blood, but seek out Jacques Dubrinsky. You need to be as strong as possible.”
She stood up, clothing herself as she did so, but she left the candles burning. “This is a circle of protection. I was careful setting it up and as long as you’re in it, no harm can come to you. More, if you and Dimitri use this circle to figure out what Abel might do and where he might be, no other can accidentally overhear words, thoughts or telepathy.”
As frightened as she was for him, she had still taken the time to give him such a gift. He stood up as well, clothing himself, his hair tied back with a cord, his boots and long coat ready for war. He called his weapons to him, a multitude of silver stakes slipping into the loops made for them, as well as a long sword. He didn’t bother with gloves as he had no intention of running into any member of the pack. Instead, he coated his hands and arms with sealant as Dimitri had.
My brother-kin. Let us come together with a battle plan.
Fen wasted no time at all waking his brother.
Tatijana stepped close to him and offered him her neck, sweeping back the long length of hair. Her arms went around his head, bringing it down to the warmth of her neck and throat where he nuzzled her.
“Take what you need, Fenris Dalka, and come home to your lifemate.”
“I will take that as a command, my lady,” he said.
She smelled so good. He’d just had her, but that woodsy scent, fresh honey and rain aroused him all over again. He folded her into his arms and took her offering without hesitation. He was already addicted to her taste, and Dragonseeker blood would be invaluable in his pursuit of the enemy. For a moment, he lost himself in the sensual, intimate act of taking his lifemate’s blood, but still, he was aware the moment Dimitri approached.
He closed the small wound on her neck and held her a moment longer. Tatijana smiled up at him, waved at Dimitri and shifted, using a small wolf to move through the forest to the edge of the village where she would find sustenance.