Dark Destiny (12 page)

"He only threatened her to stop you from attacking me."

Nicolae stepped closer to her. "You have not fed." It was an invitation.

"I don't trust myself yet." She looked up at him then. Studied his face with its dark sensuality, its sharp angles and planes. The eyes had seen too many centuries. Faced too many battles. He was a man who had been alone for far too long. "I can't be what you want me to be." She had touched his mind often. She knew his thoughts.
Lifemate
. She understood all the word implied. Everything.
Lifemate
. Something she could never be.

His hand framed her face. Exquisitely gentle, his fingers trailed over her cheekbones, lingering with tenderness. "You are everything I want you to be. There is no need to worry about such things. You do not know me. How can you decide?"

His touch wreaked havoc with every cell in her body, caused a small rebellion of her senses. A mutiny of blood and bone and nerve endings. He confused her. Every time he came near her, she felt different from normal. Restless. Needy. His voice found its way into her body, wrapped itself tightly around her heart and lungs, so that each time he spoke, he robbed her of breath. Of life. Of the ability to hate. Him. Herself. What she was.

"It was easier without you."

"You have never been without me," he pointed out. He curled his fingers around hers, brought her knuckles to his mouth.

Her heart jumped at the touch of his lips against her skin. A whisper of velvet. A stroke of heat. He was so beautiful there in the night. Tall and strong and alive. Too real. Too masculine. Too strong. There was a lump in her throat that made it almost impossible to speak. "You are, you know. Too strong for me." Her voice came out husky, strangled, so unlike her.

His thumb feathered along her cheek, traced the path of an imaginary tear. His palm cupped her forehead, removed every trace of the tiny beads of blood. "You were honed in the fires of hell, Destiny. No one will ever be as strong as you are. I know you fear you will lose yourself by being with me, but that would be impossible. I am not asking you to join with me. I am not asking anything of you other than for you to grow accustomed to my presence. I have shared your mind for many years, shared your fears and every unspeakable evil that was done to you. I shared your battles and I know your every secret. It is my physical presence that is unsettling to you."

He leaned closer, so close that his lips skimmed over the corner of her mouth. Her blood heated and her stomach clenched. "I need you. To live. To save my soul. I am willing to wait as long as it takes."

Her eyes met his. She flinched away from the dark sensuality she saw there. From the tremendous intensity. "I know that you're willing to wait. But you can't really wait, can you? I've read your mind. I know that this thing you call lifemate is essential to keep you from turning vampire."

He didn't even blink at the accusation. He nodded, his gaze drifting possessively over her face. "I
can
wait, Destiny. If it is difficult, that is not your failing but mine. Let me worry about how I will manage it."

"I can't be intimate with you." Her chin rose slightly; her soft mouth trembled. "I could never be intimate with you, and that's a big part of what you want from me."

"We are already intimate, Destiny. Sex is not necessarily intimacy. We have shared far more than other couples, shared
intimate
details of our lives." He tilted her chin, studied her vivid eyes. "Come with me. Let me show you what you are, not what you imagine yourself to be."

"Why does everything you say sound like a temptation?" A faint smile gleamed for a brief moment in the depths of her eyes. "Can't you just be dull and uninteresting?"

He laughed softly, brought her hand once more to his astonishing mouth. His teeth teased the pads of her fingers. "At least that is a start. I would much rather be a temptation than dull and uninteresting."

"Where are we going?" She moved backward, a subtle retreat. "I haven't spent so much time with people in my entire life. It's"—she searched for the right word—"uncomfortable."

At least she was willing to come with him. He couldn't ask for more than that. When he was near her, his pulse pounded and his head throbbed. His body was hard and full, aching for her. The ritual words beat in his mind, and deep within, the crouching beast lifted its head and roared for release. Nicolae didn't flinch from the knowledge in her eyes. He had deliberately given her an advantage. She needed to be able to touch his mind at will. To feel she could know his true intent. He had no intention of hiding his difficulties from her. It was the Carpathian way of life, the male struggling to keep darkness at bay. It was a fact, and finding his lifemate created its own complications.

Nicolae dissolved without another word, streaking through the dark clouds, a heavy mist mixing with the fog and moving determinedly over the city. He didn't hesitate, once again giving Destiny a choice. She had to want to take the steps, want to give them a chance.

That's not what I'm doing
, she replied, responding to his last thought. There was no chance of their being a couple. Together. Lifemates. Destiny leapt into the air, bursting into the sky like a rocket. Her body dissolved into a prism of colored molecules, tiny drops that slipped lightly through the veils of fog.

She knew what his response would be and she braced herself. His laughter slipped into her mind. Nothing could rob her of breath the way the sound of his laughter did. There was something incredibly sexy about his laugh. Destiny followed the streaking comet through the sky, away from the city, toward the mountains and the forest some distance away.

She allowed the joy of flying to absorb her completely, to block out her every worry. There were certain undeniable pleasures the dark gift had given her.

More than a few
, Nicolae pointed out.
Each species has its drawbacks and incredible wonders. I do not think you have fully appreciated what you are
.

Destiny tried not to flinch away from his words. She knew what she was, what she had worked to become. She hunted the undead and she was becoming very good at killing them.
How is it you can read my mind when my blood does not call you? I'm not in pain; I didn't connect with you
.

We've created a path over the years. That is my best answer. We are two halves of the same whole. I think we would be able to find each other however far apart we are, no matter what the circumstances.

The answer both pleased and frightened her. Even without the ritual words that were always in Nicolae's mind, they were already sealed to one another. She could not imagine her existence without him. There would be no sanity. There would be no reality. Her mind would fragment and crumble until there was no substance, no thought. The idea terrified her. It terrified her even more that she relied on him for her sanity.

Nicolae's heart contracted as he read her thoughts. He stayed a quiet shadow in her mind, just as she was a shadow in his. She clung to him without being aware of it. He was very much aware that he clung to her.

He found what he wanted, a small secluded spot in the heart of the forest. The richness of the trees and foliage beckoned. He settled to earth, taking his true form, a tall, wide-shouldered man with a wealth of rich black hair, a dangerous mouth and compelling eyes. He leaned lazily against a broad tree trunk, watching intently as the colored molecules began to mesh together to form Destiny's curvaceous figure.

She remained some distance from him, a lost, wary look on her face. Her vulnerable mouth was very much at odds with the warning in her vivid eyes. She paced back and forth with quick, restless steps. "Why am I here?"

Nicolae regarded her with his cool, serene gaze. He could feel the need for solitude beating at her. "Have you scanned this place?"

She looked at him, impatience swirling in the turbulent blue-green of her eyes. "Of course I scanned. Did you think I would allow you to lead me into a trap?"

He could see that she was ready, expectant, her body in a good defensive position. He had taught her well. "What do you find here?"

Destiny glared at him. As the fog swirled in long white streamers, darker clouds drifted across the moon to obscure its radiance. Heat and fire glowed and reflected red and orange in her eyes. Tiny flames seemed to burn there. She blinked and the illusion was gone. Keeping her wary gaze on him, Destiny inhaled slowly. Deeply. Taking the crisp, clean air into her lungs. Wind rushed through the trees, rustled the leaves and whispered to her.

"What do you hear?"

"So much. You know that. I hear animals and the stories of their lives. There are no humans close, not even in camps."

"This part of the forest is little traveled," he agreed. "Carpathians are a species of people in harmony with the earth. The soil here is rich, and when it embraces you, its healing properties rejuvenate you. The healing soil of our homeland is beyond anything you can imagine. Like this, but a thousand times richer. I miss it." His white teeth flashed briefly in the night. "Especially after a particularly long battle."

"What are you trying to tell me?" She ran her hand over the bark of a small branch. She could hear the sap running in the tree. Insects swarmed over her head in the canopy above. An occasional owl flitted to branches near them out of idle curiosity. A few miles away, a cougar hunted with hunger rumbling in its belly.

"I want you to know our world. It is not the depraved world of the vampire. We are not all evil any more than every human is evil. We have wonderful gifts and many problems to overcome. We have longevity, yes. We appear immortal, yet we can be killed. Not easily; a wound that should be fatal can be healed with our saliva and good rich soil. The blood of an ancient has healing properties. We use the herbs and plants that abound in our world. We can command the weather should we have need. But we must rest in the hours of the sun. We have limitations."

Destiny regarded him carefully. "Tell me more."

"I have told you these things often, Destiny. Are you finally ready to listen?"

"I thought they were fairy tales. I needed something to live for, and you gave it to me. You turned me into a hunter of the undead."

For the first time he looked sad. Nicolae raked a hand through the dark silk of his hair so that it spilled around him like a halo. "I know I did, Destiny. I could not think of another way to stop the things the vampire was doing to you. I could not find you. You would not speak to me. I had to use you to kill him."

She lifted her chin, her eyes stormy. "Don't you dare feel sorry for that. It's the one thing I don't feel sorry for, and I don't ever want to. He did things—things I still can't face. With your help, I found the strength to defeat him. Don't you take that away from me. I deceived him and I managed to rid the world of something evil. I was only fourteen when I did it." She averted her face, but he caught a glimpse of hell in her mind.

"I did not want death ever to touch you. I never wanted that for you."

"It touched me the day I first heard his voice." She turned back to him, her gaze moving moodily over his face. Studying him. Looking to see beyond the mask he wore. "A voice like yours. Beautiful beyond belief, but so dangerous. Compelling and intense and filled with promises. You have that same danger in you. The power to crush another with your voice. To lure someone to you and compel him to do your bidding."

He nodded slowly. "That is so; it is a two-edged gift that can be used for good or evil. You have that same gift now. You have employed it, Destiny." His gut clenched. "On the young man you used for sustenance. You called him to you, kept him calm with promises of paradise."

Destiny couldn't deny his charge. She knew her voice held enthrallment. It was easy to lure men to her, to hold them compliant while she fed. It was easy to leave them with pleasant memories, and somehow that lessened the guilt she felt.

Nicolae stirred, a rippling of muscle, of menace, instantly drawing her full attention back to him. He struggled to keep the demon leashed and under control. Jealousy was an ugly emotion. It had no place in his life, in his relationship with Destiny. She feared intimacy and the sharing of her body, and he knew why. He knew her darkest secrets. Jealousy was beneath him, and he refused to allow it to grow into a cancer when they already had so many obstacles to overcome.

"Thank you," she said simply, watching him with her careful eyes.

His grin was sheepish. "It is a male thing."

Her eyebrow shot up. "I thought jealousy was universal. I didn't like seeing your arms around Mary Ann, but I thought it was because I was afraid for her." She shrugged her shoulders, the movement strangely elegant.

Nicolae found everything about her intriguing and tempting. She touched him on so many levels, not the least of which was his instinct to protect. Destiny did not want a protector, didn't believe she needed one.

But he saw the vulnerability around her soft mouth, saw so clearly the torment in her eyes. He could see the terrible struggle for sanity that she endured at each rising. Every cell in his body roared at him to take her into the shelter of his arms, to shield her with his body from every hurt. She stood there so bravely, admitting to him that it had bothered her when she saw him with Mary Ann in his arms. And she had confessed in order to make him feel better.

His grin widened foolishly before he could resume his customary mask. Warmth spread through his body and tugged at his heartstrings.

"MaryAnn is quite a woman. She has a gift or two of her own." He was careful in choosing his words.

Destiny nodded. "I think that's what drew me to her. MaryAnn isn't even aware of her psychic ability. I felt the small surge of power each time she connected with a woman to counsel her. I spent a lot of time standing on the balcony of her office listening to her. Even her group sessions touched me." She was admitting something to him she hoped he would comprehend. She recognized she couldn't live a normal life and had tried to find a way to heal herself.