Dare to Rock (20 page)

She would never understand how much he regretted suddenly disappearing from her life all those years ago, how much he hated himself for doing it. He could have kept in touch, let her know she’d always been important to him, that out of sight wasn’t out of mind. He hadn’t. But the fact remained, he was here now, and he intended to make up for every last slight and hurt she’d ever felt.

“What did your father say today?” Grey asked, holding his breath for her answer.

Avery twisted her fingers together until the tips turned white. “He told Sienna he was proud of her for getting involved with kids with cancer after all she’d been through.”

“He’s an asshole,” Grey stated. He pushed himself up and straddled the chair until he sat closer to where she was curled into herself.

He grasped her hands, easing her grip and massaging the blood flow back into her fingers, holding on to her now, when she needed him most.

“I try and tell myself I don’t care, that I don’t need him, that it doesn’t matter whether or not he sees or acknowledges me.” Avery met his gaze, and tears leaked from her violet eyes. “But it does.”

“Of course it does,” he agreed. “Just like it matters to me that I never got my father’s approval. It matters that I know that, even if he’d lived, I still wouldn’t get approval or encouragement today. Doesn’t matter how successful I am.”

“Your father was crazy,” she whispered. “You’re an amazing man, Grey. It doesn’t matter if he saw it or not, knew it or not.”

“Exactly.” He grinned because she’d played into his hands, made his point for him. “Same applies to you, sugar. You’re an amazing woman. And you were a brave kid, giving bone marrow to your sister.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t really understand the magnitude of what they asked me to do. I just did what my parents wanted.” She drew a deep breath and looked down at their intertwined hands as she spoke. “And a part of me did it for selfish reasons, so my father would finally see me as something special.”

She spoke so softly he had to strain to hear her.

“I prayed that he would be so happy and grateful that I’d saved his other daughter, he’d come back home.” Avery bowed her head, her long hair falling over her face at the admission.

God, he hurt for her. “You were a kid. All those feelings, they were
normal
. You were just wishing and hoping for things every child should have. It doesn’t change the fact that you were brave then and you were strong afterwards. Like you told me the other day, your entire life shifted because of what your father did. The press coming after you, the panic attacks, the anxiety. You dealt with it all. Without him there to support you.”

Avery raised her head and met Grey’s understanding gaze. “You really believe that?” she asked.

“I do.” He squeezed her hands in reassurance.

Avery allowed his words and his belief in her to settle inside her. To warm her up where she’d always been cold. Because what she’d just admitted to him now? She’d never told anyone before, not even the therapist that her mother had sent her to.

Yes, she’d given bone marrow. But she’d always believed that her motives made her selfish. And though as an adult she donated her time to sick kids at the hospital and enjoyed seeing them light up and feel better about themselves, a part of her was trying to atone and make up for those selfish thoughts and needs she’d had as a kid.

But here was Grey, telling her that those old childhood feelings had been valid. For the first time, she pushed aside the juvenile view she’d tortured herself with for years and looked at things as an adult. As Grey did. And the heaviness that was always in her chest when she thought of that time, of her father or Sienna, lifted a little.

“Thank you,” Avery said.

“It’s just the truth, sugar.” He grinned, and she melted inside, the heat of the afternoon sun having nothing on the heat Grey generated inside her.

Because she was finally looking at him, and she was instantly aware of more than her own emotions. His tanned, bare chest filled her line of vision, and her pulse began a heavy beat in her veins. Desire kicked in, making itself known in telling ways, her sex filling with need, her breasts suddenly heavy and aching to be touched.

“Now let’s get back to what changed your mind about staying here, with me?” he asked.

“Oh, that.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah, that.”

She blew out a deep breath, forcing herself to concentrate on what he needed for a change, and that was answers.

They weren’t simple, but she owed him the truth. “On the one hand, there’s the practical consideration. I really do need to stay someplace safe.”

He nodded. “We all agree on that. But if safe is all you’re looking for, across the hall works just fine.”

He was right. “I know. But after everything that happened with my father at lunch, all I wanted to do was see you. I wanted to talk to you.” Her mind had been filled with thoughts of him. “I already knew I had to make a decision about where to go, and after talking to my sisters, I realized I’d be deluding myself if I thought I could stay anywhere but
with
you.” She drew a deep breath for courage and said, “We click, Grey. And I can’t run from that anymore.”

“Thank fuck,” he muttered and she couldn’t help but grin.

“I can’t promise what the future will bring,” she had to add. “But I’m here now, and I’m trying to give this thing a shot.”

It wasn’t something she’d consciously decided at lunch, but rather as she’d sat here unloading her burdens, letting him help her ease her pain, she’d understood running away was no longer an option. She needed to try.

*     *     *

At Avery’s words, Grey’s heart pounded hard in his chest. She was baring her soul in a way she’d never done before, because it pertained to them. She was admitting that she was as invested as he was … he hoped. But he also knew his own needs could be setting him up for a hard fall he wasn’t prepared to take. He heard what she was saying, but he had to make sure he processed correctly.

“We need to be clear, sugar. I want to see where things go
for real
. Are you on board?”

Her honest, open gaze met his. “I am.”

She’d just given him everything he’d asked for and all he needed to hear. He pulled her across his lap and managed to switch places so she straddled him now. The skirt from her dress flipped up easily on its own, her moist panties coming into direct heated contact with his rigid cock, which strained against his workout shorts.

“Mmm. You feel good.” She rocked her hips and, at the same time, placed her hands on his bare chest, skimming his flesh with her orange-painted fingertips.

Goose bumps and arousal hit him hard.

“You feel better.” He slid her dress up and over her head, tossing it to the ground at their feet.

“We’re outside,” she said, her eyes open wide.

“We are.” He flicked his wrist and divested her of her bra, adding to the pile, then cupped her breasts in his hands, squeezing the mounds with his palms before zeroing in on her pert nipples, tweaking and toying with each.

“Oh God.” She rolled her hips against his dick, moaning as she obviously hit the right spot.

He gritted his teeth, counting in his head, holding back the need pulsing through him at breakneck speed. If he let go, he’d come hard in his pants like a teenager with no control. And that wasn’t happening.

“I want to see you come for me. Right here under the warm sun and open air.” His apartment was high enough that nobody else could see her. Nobody could share in the bounty that was Avery.

“I need to,” she said in a hoarse voice, her nipples tight, body trembling.

He leaned in and pulled one of her nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the distended tip before grazing the hard nub with his teeth.

She whimpered and arched her back, pushing her breast deeper. He plucked at her other one before switching it up, wrapping his lips around the other nipple and playing with the damp one with his fingers. All the while, she moaned and sighed, rocking against him and keeping him riding the edge.

Unable to wait, he slid his free hand into the waistband of her barely there panties and cupped her wet heat. “Fuck, sugar, you’re soaking.”

“Just for you.” She rolled her hips back and forth, her sighs louder, music to his very attuned ears.

“Come for me now, and I’ll make sure it’s the first of many.” He felt confident making that promise since his cock pulsed in rhythm to her now-jerky moves, ready for action.

He slid his finger over her clit, rubbing back and forth, until she gripped his head, pulled at his hair, and screamed her climax as her body shuddered around his hand and over his confined dick. He kept the pressure on her sex until she collapsed against him.

“That was beautiful,” he said, bracing his hands around her cheeks and pressing a kiss to her lips. “You ready for more?”

Her heavy eyelids lifted, and she met his gaze. “Bring it on.”

He chuckled, liking this brave, open Avery. He lifted her up and moved her to the edge of the lounge. He slid his shorts off and kicked them aside, then reached for her panties and removed them with one quick pull.

“Grey!”

“No time for subtle seduction. I’m ready to come, and it’s got to be inside you.”

His normally more reserved Avery scooted back in the chair and spread her legs wide. Her shaved, pink pussy glistened and beckoned to him, which was clearly her intent. He met her open gaze, and he knew what a gift she was giving him. That she was willing to try a relationship, to put her insecurities aside, that was everything.

He moved over her. Her gaze dropped to where his cock poised at her entrance, her juices coating his head before he even slid inside. He’d never forget the sight, wanted her to take it in too.

But he also wanted her attention when he thrust home, inside the only place he belonged. “Look at me,” he said, barely recognizing his desire-roughened tone.

Her violet eyes met his as he inched into her body, slowly filling her up as completely as she did his heart. In her gaze, he saw acceptance of them, and everything he hoped for.

No longer could he hold back. One fast jerk of his hips and he joined them completely, and not just where their bodies connected. Her breasts slid against his chest, her nipples rasping against him. She wrapped her arms around his back, and he felt the beat of her heart, pounding solidly against his chest. He no longer needed to look into her eyes to know they were bound in every possible way. He wasn’t letting her go and prayed outside forces wouldn’t work against them or rip them apart.

Then he stopped thinking, because his hips shifted and he saw stars. He moved, rubbing against her clit, and she gasped at the sensation.

“I promised you more, remember?” he asked, not letting up on the pressure until he rocked her into another orgasm, her moans and sighs bringing him almost to the edge.

Once the quakes of her body subsided, he pulled out. His cock was aching and hard, but he wanted one more climax out of her. Wanted to take her places nobody else ever had or would again.

“What are you doing?” she asked, almost limp beneath him.

“Want you on top.” He eased her up, slid beneath her, and settled her astride him, his rigid erection easily sliding back into her.

“I can’t. Not again,” she said, but her actions belied her words, and she began to ride him, her body taking over any purported exhaustion.

“Oh God!” Her eyes opened wide as he obviously hit her sweet spot, and damned if he didn’t light up from within too.

“Harder, Grey!”

Fuck. His entire body was already rigid, his balls drawing up tight. He was so damn close already. His hips involuntarily jerked up and she screamed.

“Oh shit, I’m coming again,” she cried, her words a moan as she bucked against him, sucking his cock in deep, her slick walls contracting around him. “Grey!”

He let go then, his climax lost in the sexy, beautiful sounds of her release. He spilled everything he had and everything he was inside her, until she collapsed, her limp body draping over his.

*     *     *

A week into their new status quo, Avery couldn’t believe how seamlessly her life meshed with Grey’s. She liked the right side of the bed, he already slept on the left. She was a grump without coffee in the morning, he owned a machine with a timer that he was used to presetting the night before. And in realizing he had a huge sexual appetite, she discovered an untapped part of herself that felt the same way.

In past relationships, she didn’t normally spend the night or let a guy stay over. She wasn’t a cuddler, and she didn’t like awkward mornings after. And since she hadn’t been all that into sex with the bland guys she’d deliberately chosen after Grey, wrapping it up quickly had been easy. She knew, thanks to her previous times with Grey, that he’d exceeded every experience she’d ever had … or would ever have. What she didn’t know was that once they lived together, she would come to crave him so badly.

Morning sex? A necessity. Before bed? Hell yes. More than once, if he had any say. Cuddling became mandatory. Quickies during the day? Check and check. In fact, with Grey a work-from-home guy and her a work-from-home girl, she was pretty sure she’d turn into a nymphomaniac if they kept things up.

Sex aside, their days meshed too. In the early morning, he exercised at the gym in his condo, and Avery worked on either a written blog or video. One day Rick drove her to the hospital to volunteer with the kids.

As far as the taping, she didn’t want her viewers to know anything was different, so Grey went to her place and picked up the poster that was always her backdrop for her video blogs and hung it up on an empty wall in the guest room. Earlier in the week, Olivia had come over and helped her set up the guest room so she could do videos surrounded by her makeup and accessories. Somehow she was able to make it work. Afternoons, Avery made them lunch like she would do for herself at home, and dinners were a mix of ordering in, one of them cooking, or going out.

The paparazzi, after circling her at the apartment, had seemingly disappeared. No more mentions on blogs or newspapers, and Grey had his legal counsel on notice just in case something happened again. Granted, it had only been a few days, but Avery appreciated the lack of attention, not just on her but on them. They were able to focus on themselves, and while they were wary and careful, there were no huge incidents to hit Avery’s anxiety or cause her concern for the future.