Dare to Kiss (The Maxwell Series Book 1) (19 page)

I rose on trembling legs, shuffling. “Mom! Julie!” I shouted again in a shaky voice.

As I neared the kitchen, a sweaty, metallic scent burned my nostrils. I walked through the arched doorway. A bloodcurdling scream tore from me. I dropped to my knees. The blood in my veins turned to ice. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. The phone fell from my hand. Dizziness clouded my brain. Nausea rose. Then darkness extinguished my consciousness.

Chapter 14

M
y brain registered voices in the distance as I slowly cracked open my eyelids. Wincing at the pain in my head, I pressed my fingers to my temple. An alarm blared and I jolted upright. “Make it stop!” I yelled, covering my ears.

Kade was sitting on my bed beside me. “Lace,” he said. “It’s okay.” His hands circled my wrists. “Hey, baby. It’s just the alarm on the medical monitor.” He turned. “Kel, get the nurse.”

“Turn it off,” I cried. The high-pitched sound drilled into me as though someone were hammering nails into my head.

“Kross,” Kade called. “Shut it off, now.”

The alarm died. Quiet reigned. I took comfort in the fact that my head didn’t have the constant drone of wasps. I slumped forward into Kade, my soft cheek against a hard-as-steel chest, and he wrapped his arms around me.

“What happened?” I asked as I stared at Kross, who was standing by the medical monitor. I looked down at my left hand. A white clothespin-like device was clipped onto my forefinger. “Why am I in the hospital?” I asked.

Kross dropped his gaze to his cleats.
Oh, no. I didn’t have a panic attack on the field? No. No. No. Please don’t let it be true. Not in front of the school, Coach Dean, Becca, Tyler…and Kade, again. I’ll never be able to play now. The one place I loved was now officially my hell. How could I face anyone? They would look at me like I was crazy, and take pity on me
. I had to get out of here. Run. Hide. My breathing was shallow. Tears dropped one after the other
.

I pulled away from Kade. The weight of the world rested on his shoulders. I finally knew what Jackie from the gun club meant—he didn’t have the usual spark in his copper eyes that I was used to seeing. He had pity, sadness, despair, and sorrow.
Please don’t feel sorry for me
. It only served to worsen my own sorrow. I had to heal. That was one of the reasons I didn’t want people to know. I could barely deal with my own feelings.

“I need to get out of here. I need to find my dad.” I swung my legs off the side of the bed away from Kade.

“You can’t leave. You hit your head. You might have a concussion,” Kade said, his fingers lightly touching my forearm. “Your dad is on his way. And so is your…mom?”

I dropped my head and more tears fell onto my yoga pants. I stared at the dirt on my legs. He had to be talking about Mary. No one had met her yet.

“Please, Lace.” His tone was heavy with desperation.

“No. I can’t let anyone see me like this.”

He let go of my arm. The bed shifted. His boots thudded on the tile floor, and then Kade crouched down in front of me. He placed his hands on my thighs, looking up at me. “I’m not going anywhere. You can call hospital security and I still won’t leave.” He grinned. “You look beautiful covered in dirt.”

I reached out and touched his face. His eyes closed for a brief second. Why would he want anything to do with me? I was a complete mess. I threw my arms around his neck and cried. After a few minutes, he moved to sit next to me. I pulled away, mopping the tears soaking my face.

“Can I have some water?” My throat was parched.

“Kross?” Kade nodded at his brother, who was still standing near the medical monitor. Kross filled a cup with water on the side table then handed it to me.

“Thanks.” I sipped the water through a straw, letting the coolness of the liquid sit on my tongue for a few seconds before swallowing.

“You had one of your attacks, didn’t you?” Kade brushed back my hair.

“Yeah,” I said in a small voice.

A nurse came in with Kelton on her heels, the lights capturing the red streaks through her blond hair. Her nametag said “Lisa.” “Boys, please. Give her some breathing room. And what happened to the machine?” the petite lady in blue scrubs demanded.

“Sorry, the noise was bothering her,” Kade responded.

Going over to the monitor, she turned it on. “Okay, young man, out,” she said, patting Kross on the arm. “And you”—she pointed at Kade—“go with your brother. I’ll let you know when you can come back in.”

Kade kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll be outside.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” He gave me a sense of security that I needed at the moment.

Kade eyed the nurse and flashed one of his famous grins.

“All right. I’m a sucker for two people in love,” she said, batting her brown eyes our way.

Kade’s smile widened. I choked. My brain pounded against my skull, and not from my head injury.
She thought we were in love
? Yet the sexy half-smile on his face was trying to tell me something.

“Um…we’re not…” I couldn’t say the word.

Kade raised my hand to his mouth and planted his warm lips on my palm. Immediately, the pounding in my head lessened.
Oh good grief! Did he agree with her? Or was he putting on a show so she would allow him to stay
?

“You keep telling yourself that,” Lisa said as she pressed a few buttons on the monitor. “Anyway, he can stay. Everyone else has to leave.” She shot a glare at Kelton and Kross.

Both were standing in the doorway. Kross had a wide-eyed expression while Kelton had one of his sinful smirks.

A beeping noise filled the room as the machine came back online. The sound was a quiet hum now.

“Do not touch the monitor again.” Lisa narrowed her eyes at Kade while adjusting the clothespin device on my finger. “Leave this oximeter on, too.” She eyed me. “The doctor will be in shortly.” She headed to the door, pointing at Kelton and Kross. “You two—out.”

The door closed behind her, leaving Kade and me alone. We stared at each other.

“Tell me what happened,” I said, clasping my hands together.

“You were standing on the mound, staring down at home plate like you were frozen. Just like that night at your house.” He rubbed my hand with his thumb. “Then you fell forward. Your head hit the ground, hard. I bolted out of my seat. By the time I got down onto the field, Coach Dean was checking your vitals. I had a feeling you had one of your attacks. Anyway, Coach called the paramedics.” He pried my hands apart then held my right hand. “I called your house and your mom answered. I told her what happened. She said she would call your dad. He was in Boston. She didn’t have a car. So I asked Kody to go and get her.”

I lowered my gaze to my dirty pants again. I didn’t know how to process this screwed-up day. When I went back to school, kids would look at me differently. I would now be the brunt of all jokes, especially after the incident where my bag went missing.
Oh, my God. People were going to think I was crazy for sure.
I had to shove that aside for now. Kade deserved to know about my mom and Julie. He’d seen me in my worst state. I couldn’t keep having attacks around Kade and not tell him why. Dr. Davis had said that if Kade knew the triggers, he might be able to help. But what could he have done today? He didn’t know that when I looked at Renee, I saw my sister. Plus he’d been in the stands and nowhere near me to help, not like he had been at the house when he first saw one of my panic attacks.

He curled his fingers under my chin. “Look at me, baby. Talk to me. Please.” The anguish in his voice brought tears to my eyes.

Slowly, I lifted my eyes to his. “I’m broken, Kade.” A tear rolled down my cheek.

“Hey, we’re all broken.” He was still caressing my palm.

“Not like me,” I whispered.

“Whatever it is, Lace, I’m here for you.” The warmth in his tone wrapped me in a blanket of tingles.

“Why? I’ve been terrible to you.”

He searched my face, placing my hand on his heart. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Lacey Robinson,” he said, sure and strong.

The breath halted in my lungs. My head pounded. Or was it the blood roaring through my ears? Did he just say what I think he said? How? Why?

Breathe. Breathe.

“From the first night you pulled the gun on me, to kicking me square in the groin, to our first kiss.”

My eyes grew wide at his admission. The world around me closed in. Amazement. Shock. Joy. Fear. They all mixed together in a blur of confused emotions. “Kade—”

“Shhh.” He kissed me lightly on the lips. “Do you feel my heart beating like a damn freight train barreling down the tracks?”

I barely nodded. His heart was beating like a bucking bronco.

He trailed the backs of his fingers along my face. “The heart knows, Lace. My sister was right. Don’t ask me to explain it,” he breathed. “All I know is I’ve never felt this way about anyone. When you walk into a room, my skin heats up, and all I want to do is sweep you up in my arms and not let go.”

I began trembling. The guy made my nightmares disappear. He made my body react in ways it never had. So, why did my flight instinct kick into gear?

“Please don’t be scared,” he whispered, gliding his lips over mine.

“I’m…not…I can’t…” He deserved someone better than me—someone who didn’t have mental baggage.

“I don’t expect you to feel the same. But I had to tell you. After my sister died, I hated life. Then when my mom started to have problems, I wanted to vanish. Move up to the Arctic and live with the polar bears.”

I scrunched up my nose, smiling inside.

He lifted a muscular shoulder. “I’ve always loved polar bears. Ever since I saw them at a zoo when I was a kid. They’re beautiful and fearless creatures. They represent purity, intelligence, strength. Whenever I would need something to pick me up, I’d watch videos of polar bears playing. Sounds crazy, I know. But, Lace, I’ve been in a bad place for a long time, until you. You’re my polar bear.”

I laughed then cried then laughed again. “You’re comparing me to a bear?” I sniffled.

“I’m saying you’re beautiful, strong, pure, intelligent, and I know there’s a playfulness in you.”

I pulled my hand away. I couldn’t concentrate when I was feeling the beat of his heart. I breathed in, hoping my head would clear so I could sew words together to form a complete sentence. “What if I’m…not all those…things you just said?” I managed to say.

“You are. You just have to open up and let me show you.”

I dashed tears away from my face. “My past has ruined me.”

“If you allow it to, it will. But whatever is causing your attacks, you’ve been fighting it.”

“How do you…know that?” Panic attacks weren’t a sign of fighting anything.

“Because you’re seeing Dr. Davis. If you didn’t want to heal, Lace, then you wouldn’t acknowledge that you needed help. And you’re working hard at your dream. People who don’t want to change or heal don’t work hard to realize their dreams. They just give up.”

“So says the genius.” He had a point. I longed for my dream to come true. I ached to rid myself of the illness.

“It has nothing to do with my IQ, and has everything to do with my experience. I’ve been through a lot, Lace. My whole family has.”

“But what if I don’t feel the same way…about you?” I peered at him through lowered lashes. Who was I kidding? I had feelings for him, but I wasn’t sure if they were as strong as the ones he had for me. Maybe because I was frightened, and I had to keep a lock on my heart. I didn’t want to get hurt. The minute I’d told Brad I loved him, he broke up with me.

Kade touched my cheek. “I didn’t tell you how I felt just so you would say it back. We have a lot to learn about each other. I get that. But I’m not going to deny what’s in my heart. And when I want something I go after it. No games. I know there’s something in here.” He placed his hand on my heart.

“It may take a bomb to open mine,” I said weakly.

“I’ll be sure to bring explosives the next time we’re together.” He flashed me his signature grin, dimples and all.

“Kade, the lady Kody went to get isn’t my mom. My mom—”

The door to the room burst open, and Dad barreled in, a large cut on his cheekbone. A smaller cut bled slowly above his eyebrow, and his lip was split as though someone threw a hard right hook.

“Oh, my God, Dad. What happened?” I pushed myself off the bed. Dizziness washed over me. I stumbled.

Kade bolted upright, and I fell into his arms, the clothespin thing flying off me.

Kelton and Kross ran in.

Blood seeped out of the wound on Dad’s cheek. “Are you okay, Sweet Pea?”

“Am
I
okay? Look at
you
,” I barked at Dad.

Kade guided me over to the bed. “Sit, Lacey.” His tone was dominant and commanding.

“Who did this to you?” I asked, pushing to my feet then falling into Kade’s arms again.
Damn dizziness
.

“Lace,” Kade said in a deep tone as though he were trying to scare me. “You need to sit.”

Kelton strode over, helping me onto the bed. I sat on the edge. Kross didn’t move from his position at the door.

“Does she have a concussion?” Dad asked, glancing at Kade.

“Don’t know, Mr. Robinson. We’re waiting for the doc,” Kade replied, the mattress dipping beside me.

Dad grabbed a chair, dragging it over to the bed. “I’m fine, Sweet Pea,” he said as he sat down.

“Mr. Robinson, you might need stitches,” Kade said.

“I know,” he said.

“Kel, get the nurse,” Kade ordered.

Kelton snapped to attention and disappeared.

“Who did this to you?” I asked.

Dad’s face looked like someone had a good time with their fists and a sharp object. “I had to break up a fight at the club between two of my employees. But when Mary called, I jumped in my car. I didn’t have time to clean up.”

“You were supposed to be at tryouts,” I reminded him.

“I had to take care of a pay issue. I thought I would be back in time. I’m sorry. That bump on your head looks like it hurts,” Dad said.

“I have a headache, and some dizziness.”

Lisa scurried in, pretty eyes wide. Kelton was right on her heels again. She glanced at my dad and pressed a button on the intercom behind the bed.

“Yes,” a male voice came through the small speaker.

“Lou, can you come to room five fifteen? I need your help.”

“Sure thing. I’ll be right there,” Lou said.

“Mr. Robinson, I take it?” Lisa asked. “You do need stitches,” she said after she examined the wound.

A short man in a white uniform came in. He looked everyone over then landed his gaze on Lisa.

“Please go with Lou,” she ordered, touching Dad on the arm.

“I’ll be back, Lacey.” Dad left, followed by Lou.

“Didn’t I tell you two to leave?” Lisa glared at Kelton and Kross.

“Go find out what’s taking Kody so long,” Kade ordered his brothers.

They both did as their big brother commanded and hurried out.

“I’ll check to see where the doctor is,” Lisa said as she left.

“Okay, baby,” Kade whispered. “Now, back in bed.” He rose before lifting my legs.

Pressing my hands into the mattress, I swung my legs up onto the bed. No sooner had I got comfortable than Mary walked in, her big brown eyes filled with concern. She looked up at Kade, then back at me.

“Lacey, are you okay?” Mary asked as she hurried over to me.

“I’m fine. Maybe a little dizzy. More from all the people in and out of this room.” Not to mention the news Kade had shared with me. How could I not be woozy? He’d admitted he had feelings for me—strong feelings, no less.

“That’s a nasty lump on your head,” she said, taking up Dad’s previous spot in the chair.

“Hi, I’m Kade. I was the one who called you.”

She smiled. “I’m Mary. Nice to meet you in person. And thank you for calling.”

“Lace, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Kade said. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.” He strode out of the room.

“What happened, Lacey?” Mary asked.

I explained my entire disaster, from my sports bag going missing to how Renee looked like Julie. “I’m worried I’m not going to get better. It seems I’m having more panic attacks now. Plus I’m afraid of going back to school. I’m sure I’ll be the topic of all their gossip. Then I’ll act out again like I did at Crestview when kids looked at me the wrong way. I’m also frightened Coach Dean won’t consider me for a spot on the team now.”