Dare to Kiss (The Maxwell Series Book 1) (16 page)

I froze. “Thanks for fixing my car.”

I lifted a leaden foot when his voice glided over me like butter. “Can we talk?” he asked. I eased my foot down as his shoes scuffed on the wood floor.

The last time he’d said he wanted to talk, he kissed me. “I should go. Do you have my keys?” The funny thing was, my legs wouldn’t move.

His arms came around to settle on my stomach. He pressed his nose against the side of my neck. “Please.”

“I’m only here for my car.” My muscles tensed. I looked like shit. I probably smelled worse since I’d been sweating during practice.

Heavy footsteps scuffled in the kitchen before a shadow crawled up the floor in the hall. “Goddamn, these cookies are good,” one of the triplets said. A glass clinked on what sounded like the granite top.

“You’re a pig, Kelton,” Kross said. Or at least I thought it was Kross, since I’d left him in the kitchen.

I smiled. I wouldn’t mind trying one myself. But I was tethered to a very muscled body while my mind and body waged a war on the theme of “Should I stay and listen, or get my keys and go?” How do I learn to trust?
Give him a chance. That’s the only way.
“Where are my keys?”

His breath fanned my ear, light and feathery, causing a spark to ignite within me. “I have them.”

My body was so close to molding to his. “Are you bribing me, Kade?”

“If that gets you to stay, then yes.”

Well played
. “Just talk.”

“Not here,” he whispered. “Let’s go to my room.”

“Yeah. No.” His room spelled all kinds of disaster—at least for me. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate or listen to what he had to say.

“Do you want to hear Kelton’s mouth? If he doesn’t know you’re here, he won’t bug me.”

“Can’t we go outside?”

“Not without passing by or through the kitchen.”

“Fine.” I didn’t want to deal with Kelton, and I wanted my keys.

“This way,” he said as he tugged on my hand.

I turned and followed like a good little pup. After we turned a corner, an open doorway came into view. A happy, nervous pitter-patter beat against my ribs at the thought of us alone in his room—a more intimate setting.

He went in. I stayed out. The scent of cedar drifted into the hall, and I shuddered.

“Come in,” Kade said. “We’ll talk, then I’ll take you out to your car.”

I stepped over the threshold onto a beige carpet. Neutral tans colored the walls. Two wooden nightstands flanked his bed along the right-hand wall. Over his bed hung a large poster of Zeal’s cover album, and aside from books strewn over his desk, the rest of his room, including a dresser and a chair, was immaculate.

He closed the door before propping his shoulder against it and scanning my face. I crossed my arms over my chest. Silence expanded in the room like a balloon slowly being filled with air.

“So talk,” I said, popping the balloon.

“I screwed up. But you have to understand that my brothers and I are tight. We look out for one another.”

I tightened my arms around me. “If you want to get to know me, Kade, trust is the one thing I value most. I told you how hard it was for me to tell you I was seeing a shrink. I’m not getting into another relationship with anyone unless he has my complete trust.”

“Would you give me another chance?”

Sometimes in life, people needed second chances. Dad’s words came to mind. I knew
I
needed one to show ASU I could make the effort to get back on my feet. Without their consideration, I wasn’t sure where I’d be with my PTSD.

“One,” I said, pinning him with my gaze. Maybe I wanted to give myself the second chance with him.

Pushing off from the door, Kade closed the distance between us. He stared down at me as though he didn’t know what to do next.

I flattened my hand on his chest. Slowly, I traced a path from one side to the other, feeling hard muscle under the soft cotton of his T-shirt. He groaned, drawing my attention upward to meet his gaze. Desire sparked in his eyes, causing my stomach to flip-flop several times in a matter of seconds.

Gently, he grasped my shoulders as he walked me backward, slowly and surely until the backs of my legs hit his bed. If I’d wanted to run, I didn’t have a chance. His entire body held me prisoner. Even just his sultry gaze locked me in. All I could do was drop down onto the soft mattress.

He took hold of my right leg, keeping me mesmerized. Lifting my foot, he removed my shoe, dropping it to the floor with a soft thud. Without missing a beat, he slid his hands down my left leg until his callused palm met bare skin at my ankle. He rubbed his thumb over the top of my foot, back and forth, sending a string of tingles up my leg. Then he flipped off my other shoe. “Scoot back,” he said in a raspy voice.

I did, as the blood thrummed through me at sprinter speed. He kicked off his shoes then crawled up, straddling me with his hands on each side of my head. His hair fell forward, and I tangled my fingers in the soft strands.

A deep sound rumbled from him. He leaned down and traced the seam of my lips with his tongue. Then he nipped, demanding access. I whimpered, parting my lips, and his tongue slithered in. At first, he explored as though he were trying to memorize every taste bud. When I whimpered again, he shifted and yanked me closer. He was hard and ready, and I squirmed against him.

“I want you naked,” he breathed.

I froze, his bottom lip between my teeth. Was I ready for naked? My body was. I wanted all of Kade right here, right now. So why was I hesitating?

As though he knew my thoughts, he whispered, “I know you’re not ready for that.”

I was, and I wasn’t. The guy made the woman in me stretch to life—every single part of my anatomy, right down to my core. But my brain kept telling me to get to know him more.
I had to see if I could trust him. I’d only given him a second chance a few minutes ago
.

He rolled onto his side. Lifting up on his elbow, he slid his leg between mine.

He moved a strand of hair from my forehead. “I want to strip every piece of clothing off you, slowly, then explore every inch of your exquisite body.”

I rubbed my foot along his leg. “The feeling is mutual, Kade, but—”

“I know. Trust. But the way your body responds to me…shit,” he bit out. “And to hear you say you want me”—he slid his hand over my hip—“God. Your voice. Your words.” His hand coasted down my leg then around to my butt before drawing me closer. “It’s all I can do not to—”

“I thought the hunter always got his prey.”

“Baby, until I have you under the sheets…”

“Hey, is that all you want me for?” I asked with a smile.

“If that’s all I wanted, you would’ve been naked a long time ago.”

“Then what do you want, Kade Maxwell?” We both had said we didn’t do love and mush.

He slipped his hand between our bodies, trailing his fingers up between my legs.

I let out a whimper as my core screamed for his touch. “Are you trying to…tell me…you want…” My breathing grew shallow.

His hand glided north over the waist of my yoga pants. The heat of his palm seared my skin, even through my clothes—or maybe it was the inferno blazing inside me.

“All of you,” he whispered as his lips found my ear, and his hand glided under my shirt.

My whole body stiffened, bringing me back to reality. What did he mean? Like, date exclusively?

“Don’t freak,” he whispered, tickling my navel. “I told you I want to get to know you. But I know it’s a two-way street.”

A few of my muscles loosened. “Tell me something about yourself, other than you like me.” My voice was raspy. This probably wasn’t what Dr. Davis had in mind, but maybe he was onto something with the getting-to-know-you game.

He searched my face. “I have a high IQ.”

My eyes widened. “Really?” I teased.

“You don’t believe me?” His hand inched to my side.

I shrugged. He squeezed. I squealed.

“So you’re ticklish?”

“Kade,” I said in a strained voice. “Please.”

“No. Not until…”

I writhed under him, giggling. “Okay. I…believe…you,” I said in a high-pitched voice.

He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you do.”

“I do,” I said, taking a few breaths. “What’s ‘high?’”

“Like one hundred fifty-five.” He squeezed my waist lightly.

“You mean I’ve been kissing a genius all this time?” I giggled again.

His hand traveled up, covering my breast where he rubbed his palm around my nipple. “You want me more now, don’t you?”

Yeah, I did, but it didn’t have anything to do with his IQ. I shifted my glance between my breasts and his fiery copper eyes. The sensation on my breast had me arching slightly.

“Do your brothers have high IQs too?” I asked, hoping to distract both of us—at least me. It was hard to concentrate and listen to him.

His fingers coasted down my stomach, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“Yep.” His voice was low. “That’s why they tested out of their junior year at the academy. They could’ve tested out earlier, but my dad wanted them to mature a little bit more.”

“Why didn’t you go to the academy with them?”

He laced his fingers with mine before bringing them up to his warm lips. “When we first moved here”—he set our joined hands on the bed between us—“my mom was living with us. We thought she was getting better. We were all on the mend. We were becoming a family again. My dad had just signed his retirement papers from the Army. He’d decided to open up his psychiatric practice to continue to help people coming out of the military. We’d settled on this area. It’s close to my mom’s family and it’s also close to…” His watery gaze drifted past me.

After several long seconds, I snuggled into him, placing a kiss on his neck. I had no idea what he was struggling with. The sadness in his eyes spoke volumes. I had to do something so my own tears wouldn’t surface. Just hearing about his mom sparked images of my own and, if I thought about her, I was afraid of a flashback or panic attack.

“Kade,” I said softly. “Can you kiss me?” His kisses always took me to a peaceful place—one where I was free of my demons. Maybe I could do the same for him.

In a blur, he was on top of me, planting those magical lips on mine. This time, I controlled the kiss. My tongue explored him, tasting and sucking. I loved the way he tasted—a little hint of sugar and whole lot of spice. He purred, and I almost peeled off my clothes. Then I thought better of it. If I was going to give myself to Kade, I wanted to know more of him. I’d made the mistake of not knowing Brad that well, and look where that got me.

“You taste like sunshine,” he breathed as he lifted his body off mine. He grabbed a pillow and propped it under our heads before lying on his side.

“I’m sorry I distracted you.” I rubbed along the scruff of his rough jaw. “You were distant for a minute.”

“Lace, you can distract me anytime.”

“So you were telling me about the academy and…your…mom.” I slipped my foot between his feet. For two seconds, I considered whether I wanted to hear more about his mother. But he’d already started the conversation, and I had to take the chance. If I freaked out thinking about my own mother, at least he was here. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen one of my episodes. I had to dip my toe in the water, as Dr. Davis had said.

He chewed the inside of his cheek. “I almost went to the academy. A month before I was scheduled to leave with my brothers, my mom got sick. My dad needed help, and I couldn’t leave him. So I stayed.”

“So where is your mom now?” I asked in a shaky breath, tears threatening.

His gaze skimmed over my face. “She’s in a…mental health facility three hours from here.”

Okay, I wasn’t ready for that
. Suddenly, my body trembled.
Why the crazy reaction
? I wasn’t sure.

“Hey, you don’t have to cry,” he whispered.

A tear tumbled down my cheek. He wiped it away.

“Talk to me, Lace.”

“Why…is she…?”

“She blames herself for my sister’s death,” he said in a somber tone.

I gasped as the dam opened and I lost it. My breathing grew erratic. Darkness crept in. A picture of my mom on the kitchen floor with her eyes open, not moving, flashed before me.
Oh, my God
. I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t go there.

“Lace,” Kade said gently. “Baby, talk to me.”

I wanted to, but anxiety, grief, sorrow, paranoia surged through me.

“Look at me,” he pleaded. “Something tells me this isn’t about my mom or my sister.” He feathered a kiss over my mouth.

Losing myself in his lips, I slowly opened my eyes and met his. I expected to see sorrow. Instead, I saw resignation, as though he’d come to terms with his mom and sister. For a second I thought about telling him about Mom and Julie, but I couldn’t without falling into a panic attack.

“There’s those beautiful green eyes. Do you want to go for a walk down to the lake?”

I shuddered then nodded. The cool air would be a welcome relief. Maybe it would clear the last of the darkness lingering in my head.

As we neared the lake, the water gleamed in the last rays of the setting sun. Cold air licked my face. I was grateful for the sweatshirt Kade lent me. I was wrapped in warmth and his scent. I covered my head with the hood then buried my hands in the pockets. We walked in silence until we skirted the edge of the water. At first, I’d thought he was going to coax me into the boathouse—or the funhouse, as I dubbed it. He didn’t. Instead, he grabbed my hand, and we followed the edge of the lake until we were on a trail. The lake had to be two miles around.

Trees towered over us with shades of red and orange hanging from their branches. Birds chirped and a squirrel darted up a trunk in front of us. About half a mile in, we came to an area with a flat rock that sat between two large tree trunks with the initials KM carved into it.

“Let’s sit for a minute.” He motioned to the large stone.

“Your initials?” I asked.

“Yes and no. You know each of our first names begin with a K. So did my sister’s. Her name was Karen.”

“And the hearts?” Like the five hearts stenciled on his truck, there were five etched into the rock.