Darcy's Voyage: A Tale of Uncharted Love on the Open Seas (15 page)

“Yes, Elizabeth is right. We do agree totally on all those things.”

Jennings laughed. “Is it not amazing how Providence sometimes leads two people together, who are so right for each other, in the most unexpected way?” Darcy refrained from looking up, believing that if he looked at Elizabeth at this moment she would see in him all the depth of the feeling he had for her, laced with the despair at what he understood her to say.

Elizabeth was anxious to leave the table and any further conversation. With the ship reaching American soil sometime tonight and being in the dock by sunrise tomorrow, she did not feel it within her to maintain her composure with Jennings speaking as he was.

The game finally ended and this time Jennings took the win triumphantly. Elizabeth stood up. “If you will excuse me, I think it time to pay my respects to my friends in the room and then take my leave. Mr. and Mrs. Jennings, it has been a pleasure travelling with you and I wish you all the best.”

Darcy saw the strained look on her face and stood up with her. He turned to the others. “If you will excuse me, I will accompany my wife. Good night.”

“I certainly understand!” Jennings laughed. “I was a newlywed once myself,” he looked at his wife who suddenly was the one who blushed, “and I remember how often we would be the first to leave a social gathering.” His wink to Darcy was not missed by Elizabeth, and she quickly turned and began walking from the table without waiting for Darcy.

Walking briskly to distance herself from the present conversation, Elizabeth suddenly felt Darcy’s hand tighten around her arm. She walked over to Mr. and Mrs. Rawlings, expressed her gratitude for her friendship, gave the girls each a hug, and before she was even able to say the word, “Goodbye,” Mrs. Rawlings stood up and embraced her. The two could not hold back the tears.

“If I do not see you in the morning, Lenore, may I wish you God’s blessing.”

“And I hope and pray that you and Mr. Darcy will have a wonderful life together.”

Elizabeth smiled nervously, Darcy bowed politely, and they made their way around the room to those they had come to know well, wishing them the best in the new world.

As they turned back toward the door to finally leave, Darcy again took her arm. Naturally assuming she desired to go back to their room, he began to lead her in that direction. She stopped him. “I need some fresh air, if you do not mind.”

“Of course not. I could use some as well.” There were a few other things Darcy believed himself to need, namely some courage, perhaps some courage-producing brandy, but fresh air would suffice.

They walked up to the deck just in time to see the sun had recently set and the endless horizon was a palette of reds, oranges, and purples that met the deep blue of the darkening sky. Without speaking, they both walked to the side of the ship that looked out to the colourfully vibrant sky.

“I am sorry if Mr. Jennings’s comments made you uncomfortable back there,” Darcy said to Elizabeth. “I would not have wished for you to have been put in that position.”

“Deceptions are not always easy to live with, Mr. Darcy. I am as much a part of this deception as you are. It is not solely your fault, and you have no need to apologize.”

His hand still possessively held her arm and he closed his eyes at hearing her revert to his formal address. The two, standing side by side, turned their attention back to watch the colourful sky. Elizabeth’s heart ached at the certainty that this would be the last time they looked upon a sunset together as man and wife.

As she looked out at the sunset, her thoughts suddenly went to her father when she saw him last. His parting words to her were a reminder to thank God for each day that He had given her. She thought it odd that her father’s words were not first and foremost on her mind this evening in seeing the sunset. She was surprised that her thoughts went first to Darcy, and her father’s words and parting request were almost an afterthought.

The two settled into their customary silence as their thoughts took a more similar path than each would have conjectured. As they enjoyed watching the sky give over its light to the coming night, they were suddenly caught off guard by a random, forceful wave that rocked the boat. Elizabeth was flung against Darcy’s chest, and he reacted to the unexpected jolt by reaching out his good arm to steady Elizabeth while his injured arm grabbed the ship’s railing. He winced as his shoulder wrenched with pain, and Elizabeth pulled away.

“Is your shoulder still in pain?” she asked with candid concern.

Darcy reached over and rubbed his sore shoulder. “It is nothing serious. This is not the first time today I have been reminded about last night.”

He may not have been able to see it written on her face, but if he listened attentively, he would have been able to hear her beating heart. At the moment, it betrayed her true feelings and seemed louder than the storm that passed through last night. He may have been referring to his injury, but when he mentioned last night, her only thought went to sleeping in his arms.

They stood in silence, facing each other in the darkness, when another wave propelled Elizabeth forward. This time the force of it was just enough for Darcy to reach out with both arms and secure Elizabeth safely against him as he was pressed against the side of the boat. After the wave passed and the ship settled, he told himself that he should release her, but he found it difficult to obey what he knew was gentlemanly and proper.

With the feel of his arms now wrapped securely around her, she suddenly did not care whether it was prudent, whether she might later regret it, nor whether there was some “Caroline” waiting for him back home. She wound her arms around his back and pulled herself closer to him, all the while slowly lifting her gaze to him.

She knew she was in danger, but was without any facility to resist. His hands came up and took hold of the shawl that rested on her shoulders, adjusting it slightly and then pulling it—and Elizabeth—even closer toward him. Elizabeth felt as though time was moving exceedingly slow.

As Elizabeth was drawn up against Darcy, he slid one hand behind her neck and brought his fingers from his other hand up to her chin and lifted it up just enough to allow his lips to gently meet with hers. He was momentarily surprised that she offered no resistance. That thought, along with any other, was soon erased into oblivion as he lowered his lips to meet hers and savoured their softness against his.

As he more boldly deepened his kiss, he relished the response this woman, his wife, was displaying. Elizabeth, rendered breathless and feeling slightly askew in her equilibrium, brought her arms up to the upper part of his back, clinging to him fervently as if for her very life.

Neither was aware how long the kiss lasted, nor were they aware of passengers who strolled past them, smiling at their ardent display. Nor were they aware when the captain came up from below, quite stunned by what he saw.

Elizabeth unexpectedly sensed a change in Darcy. He tensed and purposefully brought his hands to her shoulders, drawing her away from him. She met his eyes warily, unsure of what she would see in them. In merely the light of the moon, she could make out that his eyes had narrowed, and he took in a sharp breath, letting it out slowly.

He spoke, his voice uneven and low. “Elizabeth,” he paused, steeling himself for what he knew he wanted to say, but rendered incapable of any lucid thought by his fiercely beating heart. “What I have to say… I hope you understand, Elizabeth, but I do not think…”

As Darcy struggled to put into words what he so greatly desired to tell her, the sound of someone standing nearby caught Elizabeth’s attention, and as she looked over, she saw the captain watching them. Without thinking, she pushed away from Darcy’s embrace. Nervously acknowledging the captain, she expressed a rather shaky, “Good evening,” to the one man who was aware of the extenuating circumstances surrounding their marriage. Feeling a great deal of mortification to have been found in such a state by him, and even greater distress at what she was sure Darcy was about to say, she promptly excused herself and left Darcy’s side to return to their room.

Darcy turned to follow, but the captain gave him a friendly nod and joined him at the side of the ship. As the two stood silently in the darkness, the captain finally spoke.

“It is amazing, is it not, Darcy, how a violent storm can rise up out of calm, idle waters so unexpectedly? I am always surprised, but never caught off guard. We can be travelling through what we think are tranquil waters, believing everything is going exactly as planned, heading in the exact direction we want, when in the blink of an eye, everything around us is jostled, tossed around, and completely shaken up. When it has passed, we are not at all where we thought we would be when we first set out.”

“May I ask if you are referring to the storm we had last night or might it be something else?”

The captain did not answer, but was silent for a moment.

At last he said, “I believe there may have been another unforeseen storm that came upon this voyage.” He turned and steeled his eyes at Darcy. “You know I was never in favour of this marriage between you and Miss Bennet. But I knew you well, trusted you, and I hoped that some good might come out of it.”

Darcy looked at him quizzically. “Good?”

“That perhaps you would see what a treasure Miss Bennet was and would fall in love with her.”

Darcy rested his elbows on the rail of the ship, looking out across the water.

“When
did
you fall in love with her, Darcy?”

Darcy closed his eyes. “I really cannot say. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun.”

“But you do love her?”

“Yes, I do.”

The captain smiled, knowing that Darcy could not see him. “So what do you intend to do about it?”

The captain heard Darcy’s sigh. “I had planned to talk to her tonight. But with some things Elizabeth has recently said, I believe that she expects the marriage to be annulled when I return to England.”

“From that kiss I witnessed, I would tend to disagree.”

Darcy looked over in the direction Elizabeth had walked. “Do you really believe there is a chance she cares?”

“Darcy, all I know is that I have watched the two of you over the course of these few weeks. I believe I have not seen a couple more suited for each other, yet who are both completely oblivious to the fact.”

The captain turned to Darcy and firmly planted a hand on his shoulder. “I would do some major thinking about what you need to say to her before you go back down to your room.” He paused and inhaled wearily. “And Darcy, I beg you, do not do anything foolish!”

“Of course, Captain.”

Wendell walked away and Darcy turned back to look at the darkened sea. He had grown accustomed to the sound of the waves splashing against the boat and the wind billowing in the sails. It was comforting, but his heart still pounded from the kiss. As he contemplated going to their room and exposing the leanings of his heart to her, his heart resonated throughout his whole being.

He looked out across the sea, seeing only blackness save the crescent moon and the stars that dotted the sky. He knew the course of the ship was determined by these stars, and he wished at that moment that he could chart his own course so easily and with the confidence and the assurance that Elizabeth would return his regard.

Wrought with anxiety, he paced back and forth up on the deck for some time, compelled to rush into his room and declare his love, and yet held back by the apprehension of how she would receive it. Those little voices with whom he had argued earlier surfaced again, but this time more meekly, and he was able to rid his mind of them. He knew he could not live without her, and it was worth it to take the risk: the risk of what his family would say, what his friends would say, and most importantly, what she would say.

He lingered a while longer up on deck, rehearsing over in his mind his declaration; using every bit of concentrated effort to calm his nerves, and to recover from the effects of the kiss.

Later, when he returned to their room, he entered and found it dark. He was grateful; she would not be able to see the nervousness that relentlessly plagued him. He doubted that she was asleep, as she had only come to the room within the last half hour. He found his way to the bench in the room and sat down, but instantly stood up again, spurred to keep moving by his nerves.

He rubbed his hands together, reciting in his mind the words he wanted to say, the words that had not come to him when they were up on deck; the words he felt that as a gentleman he should have said before he ever kissed her. But even though he knew what he wanted to say, when he opened his mouth to begin his declaration of love, the words still did not come. Finally he came over and stood at the edge of her bed. With one last, concerted effort, words poured forth from his mouth, but his mind barely registered what he was saying.

“Elizabeth, in vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” There, he had said it! The rest came easier. “In declaring myself thus, I am fully aware that I will be going expressly against the agreement we made three weeks ago concerning this marriage, but it cannot be helped. Almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance I have come to feel for you a passionate admiration and regard. I am asking, Elizabeth, for your agreement to keep our marriage intact. I am asking that you relieve my suffering and consent to remain my wife, a wife not veiled in deception and lies, but in truth and love.”

Darcy was silent, waiting for Elizabeth’s response. He waited patiently, but there was no answer. He began to dread that his words upset her, that she could not answer for her anger. “Elizabeth?” He nervously called out her name. Now he was anxious for another reason. “Elizabeth?” He reached out toward her bed, found that the sheet had not been put up, and when he gently reached down, discovered she was not in her bed.

He rushed out to get a light for the oil lamps and came back in, swaying a candle around the room to make an initial inspection of it. His heart felt like a lump rising in his throat as his eyes took a quick survey throughout the room, realizing with a start that not only was she not in the room, all her things had been removed!