Dangerous to Know & Love (48 page)

Daniel sat back on his heels and tried to look at all the possibilities, but everything was pointing in one obvious direction – he’d just been too self-absorbed and preoccupied to see it before.

Fact one: his brother had dropped out of college when their parents had been killed. He always said it was because studying wasn’t for him and he’d rather be out in the ‘real’ world, but now Daniel wasn’t so sure. Zef was a bright guy – before he’d gotten into ‘retail’, he’d been as interested in engines as Daniel, and had been studying mechanical engineering.

Fact two: Zef had always insisted that their parents’ life insurance had paid off the mortgage on the house, with money left over for living expenses for a few years. Daniel had been 17 and away at school, so it hadn’t occurred to him to challenge it – but what if Zef had exaggerated the amount of money as a way of protecting his little brother from an uglier truth?

Fact three: Zef had totally lost his shit when Daniel had gotten the $1000 speeding fine – the fine Daniel had said he’d pay for out of his college trust fund. He’d even hit him – something Zef had never done before.

Fact four: the paperwork about his trust fund had mysteriously gone missing.

Fact five: only one person besides himself knew where he kept those documents – and had a key to his room.

Which, as far as Daniel could see, added up to one, clear, indisputable fact number six: they were both neck deep in shit.

A cold, sick feeling swept through him – one which had nothing to do with his recent operation.

He picked up his phone to text Zef again.

* D: need see you. am at home. *

He stood up slowly and hunted through his cabinet for the food that he’d bought before going into hospital – crackers that he’d stashed along with a bag of apples. He stared at the food items that were supposed to constitute his eating plan for the next two days. What a moron: he’d bought two items that were going to require some serious jaw action – and consequently hurt the most to eat right now. Idiot. Hungry and depressed, Daniel continued to rifle through the cabinet, hoping that something more palatable might emerge from the depths. Finally, he unearthed two packets of instant soup at the back. They were only six months out of date, so consequently nothing he was going to worry about.

He left the room briefly to fill his kettle from the faucet in the bathroom. When he returned, Zef was sitting on his bed, looking tired and slightly strung out.

“Hey, bro. They let you go.”

“Nah, had to dig a tunnel.”

Zef gave the ghost of a smile. “Let’s see it then.”

Daniel pulled off his beanie and showed Zef the line of gauze and tape.

“Whoa, impressive. Makes you look like a double hard bastard.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“Just sayin’, man. When do you get hooked up to the sound system?”

“Not till after the holidays.”

“Think it’ll work?”

“Maybe. No one knows for sure.”

“Bummer.”

Daniel nodded, then winced.

“So, you said you needed to see me. What’s up?”

Daniel stared at his brother without blinking. “How much do you owe?”

“What?”

“I’m not a fucking idiot, Zef. All that shit downstairs, this isn’t you. Or it didn’t use to be. Is all the money gone – what mom and dad left?”

The silence stretched out between them until Zef exhaled in one long, sour breath.

“Yeah, it’s all gone.”

Daniel closed his eyes, having seen the words that confirmed everything he’d been dreading.

“Did… how much… did they really leave what you said – or was that a lie, too?”

Zef looked down. “No, they left us in pretty good shape. I was the one who fucked up.”

“Were you going to tell me?”

Zef pulled a face. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to. I’d planned to wait until the end of the school year. I kept thinking I’d be able to make the money back, but I just got in deeper. I’m sorry, bro.”

Daniel rubbed the side of his head carefully. “How much have you borrowed?”

“It’s not like that.”

“What’s it like?”

“I owe some favors to some people you don’t say ‘no’ to, okay.”

Daniel’s temper exploded, sending a pulse of pain through his skull.

“Okay? Are you fucking kidding me? This is so far from ‘okay’ I don’t even know what fucking planet you’re on!”

Zef’s fierce expression softened as he saw his brother’s physical and mental pain. “Look, I made some bad business decisions, but the house is safe. I wouldn’t risk that. You’ll always have a home here, bro.”

“You call this a home? Full of strangers shooting up? I have to lock my bedroom door – I have to lock the fucking bathroom door to stop it getting trashed. I can’t bring any friends back here. I mean, have you even
looked
at this place lately?”

“I knew this would fucking happen,” sneered Zef. “As soon as you got your little middle-income bitch of a girlfriend, and started visiting her place in the burbs, pretending you’re… whatever the fuck you think you are now – too good for your own home…
college boy.
”

Daniel clenched his fists, and Zef saw a moment flash across his brother’s face when Daniel thought about hitting him – about beating the crap out of him.

“Don’t, Zef. Just… don’t. Can’t you see what’s going on here? You are so fucking close to getting your ass thrown in jail. The cops
know
you’re dealing. Hell, I get stopped at school every other day by some fucker trying to score. The cops could take you down any moment, but they’re waiting for you to fuck up big time or something. You think they’ll stop at you –when they finally get a search warrant for this place? I’m just as likely to go down as you are. You even
care
about that?”

“Yeah, because you’re so fucking snow-white! I’ve seen you totally wasted, man, don’t pretend I haven’t.”

“I don’t fucking deal!” shouted Daniel.

Zef was silent. “No, you don’t: you just live off the proceeds of it.”

Daniel’s expression was stricken as he stared at the stranger with a familiar face.

Zef stood up and brushed past him. Without facing Daniel he said, “I’m so fucking sorry, brother.”

The door closed and Daniel slumped down onto his bed. So many feelings swept through him, that he didn’t know which one to deal with first. Anger was the dominant emotion, but there was also fear and disappointment, along with a strong sense of betrayal. He’d trusted Zef.

Daniel’s progressive and rapid deafness had isolated him in so many ways. At a time when his school friends were worrying about zits and wet dreams, sounds were becoming misty, and jokes lost in waves of words where he could no longer distinguish consonant from vowel. Even when he’d gone to the special school, he’d been largely alone, refusing to see himself as part of the deaf community. When he’d gotten the news that his parents had died, it had been Zef who’d driven through the night to tell him, brother to brother. Through it all, through every dark moment, Zef’s large presence had offered humor at the blackest times, and strength at Daniel’s weakest.

But at that moment, sitting in the bedroom of his family home with his brother mere feet and inches away, Daniel’s sense of loneliness had never been greater.

Right now, he had one good thing in his life.

As if thinking about her had conjured her, Daniel’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He smiled when he saw the message.

* L: we’re home. mom & dad fought 3 hours solid.

I have headache – how’s yours?

wish I could help with pain relief ; ) LA xx *

* D: me too, you have no idea. offer still open?

could come up Friday after check-up. *

* L: YES! – shouting – you safe to ride? LA xx*

* D: will take bus. *

* L: can’t wait! LA xx *

* D: : ) x *

Now he had things to do, decisions to make. But not yet.

Tomorrow was soon enough.

Over the next few days, Daniel’s strength began to return. His headache withered and gave up, although the wound was still tender, and trying to dress it himself was a bitch – ‘fiasco’ was an equally apt word. He refused to ask Zef for help. The spells of dizziness decreased, too, although they were still debilitating when they happened.

Occasionally, he’d forget to be careful – which was a good sign in some ways – but then he’d whack his ear or his head and spend the next five minutes cursing loudly, colorfully and imaginatively.

Zef had stayed out of his way, and Daniel spent most of the time sitting in his room reading, only heading out on foot to forage for food, careful how much money he spent. His bank account was already on the critical list – he didn’t want it to expire during the holidays. He had plans for increasing its health as soon as possible.

Which meant that the first visit he made as soon as he was able, was to the auto repair shop where he’d worked over the previous two summers.

The workshop area was dark and every piece of woodwork was slick where oily hands had touched it. But Salvatore Coredo had an enviable reputation as a restorer of classic cars. Motorcycles were a profitable sideline.

“Dan! What you doing here? You finally get religion and decided to make me a happy man? The offer on your Harley is still open.”

Daniel smiled at the familiar banter. Ever since Sal had set eyes on Sirona, battered as she’d been, he’d coveted her. And every time he saw Daniel, he tried to talk him into selling.

“Maybe, Sal, but I’m looking for work. Can you give me some hours?”

“Thought you were going to school? You drop out already?”

Daniel scowled and Salvatore laughed.

He’d known Daniel for two years and had helped him rebuild Sirona – he knew exactly which buttons to press.

“No, I’m still studying. I just need a job.”

“Could give you some hours on Christmas Day – you interested?”

“Very fucking funny, Sal.”

“Watch the mouth, Dan.” He paused, seeing the tiredness that clung to Daniel. “Sure I can give you 10, maybe 20 hours a week. Start after the holidays.”

Daniel felt relieved. It wasn’t easy getting part-time work with so many students looking for jobs, and being deaf – well, you could treble the level of difficulty. Which was probably a conservative estimate.

If he was careful with the money from this job, he could rent a room somewhere and have just enough to live off, too. Getting an affordable room on campus was out of the question, and he’d have to get a loan to pay for his next year’s college fees.

“So, how much would you give me for Sirona?”

Salvatore gaped at him then looked serious. “You need money that bad, kid?”

Daniel shrugged, unwilling to go into the details with Sal.

“Well, now let me see. I could maybe go up to $2,750.”

Daniel shook his head, trying not to wince, both at the pain in his head, and the pain of selling his beloved Harley. “I want $3,000. You know she’s worth it.”

Salvatore grinned. “I’ll think about it, Dan. We’ll talk again when you start work – after the holidays.”

After the holidays
– that seemed like an impossibly long time in the future.

Daniel nodded and they shook hands on the almost-deal.

He was looking forward to seeing Lisanne – although he couldn’t with all honesty say he was looking forward to seeing her parents, but they’d been kind to invite him. He was just glad they had no idea of all the things he was planning to do to their daughter during his visit. He licked his lips at the thought.

He was about to text her the good news that he’d got a job when he remembered that he hadn’t shared his financial problems with her. That was a conversation to have face to face, if at all. No, she didn’t need to hear all the shit he had going down.

He bought the local paper and scoured it for rooms that were within his limited price range, but the two that he subsequently visited were shitholes that should have been condemned, and would have been little better than staying at home.

On Friday, he took the bus to the hospital with mixed feelings, completely separate from the fact that he hated not being able to ride Sirona. That was one thing he intended to sort out with the doc pretty damn quick. He needed his independence back, especially if he was apartment hunting.

The outpatients’ clinic was busy, full of people like him – people who’d had the CI operation. Some were children who weren’t old enough to understand what was happening, but most were adults in their sixties and seventies. Only one person was anywhere near Daniel’s age – a woman in her late twenties. She was also the only other person who hadn’t brought someone along for support.

She smiled when she saw Daniel. He nodded and sat down in the far side of the room, not interested in starting a conversation. But she had other ideas, and came to sit opposite him.

S: Hello. Do you sign?

D: Yes.

S: I’m S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A.

She spelled out her name and Daniel did the same, one letter at a time.

D: D.A.N.I.E.L.

S: Are you having the CI?

D: Had it. Last week.

S: Me, too! Six weeks ago. How’s it going?

Daniel shrugged. “Okay.”

S: Do you lip read?

D: Yes.

S: You don’t talk much, do you?

Daniel just looked at her.

S: Come on! We’re the only ones here who aren’t preschoolers or retired. Are you getting your processor and transmitter today?

D: No. Stitches out.

S: Since you asked, I got tuned in a month ago. It’s… weird. I could only hear beeping from the system. I knew that there were sounds, but I couldn’t distinguish between them. The audiologist said that’s normal. To be honest, I’m a bit freaked out.

She paused.

S: You here by yourself, too?

Daniel smirked and glanced around him.

S: Why?

Daniel shrugged.

S: You don’t want to tell me. That’s cool. Can I ask you something? I hardly know you, but… I don’t have anyone else to ask.