Dangerous to Know & Love (16 page)

Lisanne sighed. “It’s complicated.”

“Of course it is,” said Kirsty, sympathetically. “He’s a guy – their brains are wired differently. Well, most guys’ brains are wired to their dicks, so that’s pretty straightforward.”

Lisanne tried to laugh, but her heart wasn’t in it.

“I don’t really know what we are,” she said, honestly. “We’re friends, I know that. And sometimes I think we’re more than that, but… I just don’t know.”

Kirsty nodded. “I get it. Mixed messages, huh? You know I’m not going to tell anyone anything, right, Lis? I mean, not even Shawna. I know she acts like we’re BFFs, but I’m not dumb. She’s kind of a bitch to you. But that’s because she’s jealous. She’d love to be getting some Daniel Colton shaped action. She doesn’t get what he sees in you – oh, I don’t mean it like
that
,” she said, hastily. “It’s just you don’t act all flirty and… you know what I mean.”

“Thanks, Kirsty… I think. I just…” Lisanne sighed again, having no clue how to finish the sentence, let alone explain her feelings to Kirsty.

“Okay, well let’s do the checklist.”

Lisanne couldn’t help laughing at that: Kirsty and her damn checklists.

“Has he kissed you?”

“Yes.”

“Tongues?”

“Um, yes. Once.”

“Just once? When was that?”

Lisanne blushed. “Yesterday.”

Kirsty nodded encouragingly. “Well, that’s good.”

Good. Amazing. Sensational. Out of this world.

“It is?”

“Sure! You guys have been friends since the start of the semester – sort of. So if you’ve only just done tongues, that’s progress.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Has he taken you on a date?”

That was a tough one. They had been out together, but neither of them had ever called it a date.

“Um, no, yes, maybe. I’m not sure.”

“Oh,” said Kirsty, in a way that indicated this wasn’t good.

“Oh?”

“Honey, if you’re not sure it was a date, then it wasn’t. A guy has to
ask
you on a date for it to be a date. It’s different from just hanging out together.”

Lisanne sighed. That sounded logical.

Kirsty continued.

“So, when you kissed, did ya do anything else?”

Lisanne shifted uncomfortably. “Like what?”

Kirsty rolled her eyes. “Like, did he feel you up at all?”

Lisanne’s face flushed, thinking of the awesome orgasm that Daniel had given her.

Kirsty smiled smugly. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then.” Her smile faded. “There’s really only one answer, Lis – you have to
ask
him where you stand. Guys can be pretty dumb. You have to say, ‘Hey? Is this a date?’ Or, ‘Hooked up with any other girls lately?’ You know, make it clear.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Why not?”

“Well,” said Lisanne, twisting a stray thread from her t-shirt around her finger, “What if he says ‘no’? What if he isn’t interested in me?”

“Then he says ‘no’, but at least you won’t be pining for something that isn’t going to happen. It’s like ripping off the band-aid – you gotta do it fast because it’ll hurt less in the long run.”

It sounded like good advice: Lisanne just didn’t know if she’d be brave enough to do it.

“Have you slept with him yet?”

Lisanne shook her head.

“Do you want to?”

Lisanne looked up into Kirsty’s kind eyes.

“Yes, but not if it’s because he feels sorry for me.”

“Oh, sweetie,” said Kirsty, patting her hand. “All guys want sex – that’s a given. But you have to decide if that’s all
you
want. And I
know
you, Lis. You’re the kind of girl who wants the whole package. And Daniel… look, he seems nice – he’s different with you – but he doesn’t have a great track record. He’s definitely the love ‘em and leave ‘em type.”

“But if I sleep with him, maybe he’ll…”

“Don’t even
think
that! I mean it, Lis. Some girls are fine having one-night stands. Whatever. Good for them. But you’re not like that. And you’ll feel shit about yourself if you do it. It’s just not worth it. Look, I can see that Daniel cares about you – I mean, you guys are friends. And that’s good. Sex can really fuck things up.” She giggled when she’d realized how that sounded, and Lisanne couldn’t help smiling. “Yeah, well, you know what I mean.”

“So what do I do?” asked Lisanne, her smile worn away.

“Wish I could tell you, hon. Talk to him. You’ll figure it out. Look – Vin and I are going to that new Mexican place with a bunch of his frat house friends. You’d be doing me a favor if you come with us.”

“Thanks, Kirsty, but I think I’ll just have a quiet night in.”

“Okay, if you change your mind, text me. But don’t wait up.”

“Pajama party with Vin?”

Kirsty winked. “Something like that.”

*     *     *

It had taken him a while to shake off Shawna. Girl was persistent, but he’d seen the way she treated Lisanne and he wasn’t the least bit interested in someone who was such a bitch – and hot she was not.

Daniel stubbed out his smoke when he saw Roy’s battered Dodge Ram pull up.

“What’s up? Where’re your wheels, man?”

Daniel sighed. “I got pulled over for speeding. I thought I was gonna get arrested for reckless driving, but the fuckers were more interested in Zef.”

Roy shot him a look.

“I didn’t give them anything.”

“But they didn’t hold you,” said Roy, suspiciously.

“Fuck, man! You think I’d say something – about my own brother?”

“About your brother, no.”

Daniel looked at Roy incredulously. “You think I’d sell
you
out?” He knew that Roy sold a little weed on the side.

Roy chewed on his words for a while before he answered. “No, I guess not.”

Daniel was slightly mollified but still annoyed that Roy could even think he’d do a deal with the cops. He didn’t want to ask him if Dickinson was right about the meth-dealing. The larger part of him didn’t want to know. Ignorance wasn’t bliss, but it could be a damn sight more comfortable than an ugly truth.

“Anyway, they did hold me. Had my ass in a police station all last night.”

“Cops rough you up?” said Roy, his eyes flicking over Daniel’s face.

Daniel angled the truck’s rearview mirror toward him and saw the dark bruise on his cheek.

“Fuck. No, that was Zef.”

Roy sighed. “He worries about you – you’re his little brother.”

Daniel stared out of the window and didn’t reply. Roy tapped his arm.

“Where we going, man?”

“Sirona. Cops made me leave her at the side of the road. Fuck knows what’s happened to her.”

“Aw, hell! Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have got her for you.”

“Cops took my phone.”

Roy sighed. “How much was the fine?”

“A thousand dollars.”

“Oh, yeah? And where are you gonna find that kind of spare money?”

“College fund.”

“Oh, man! No wonder Zef was whaling on you. He takes that shit pretty damn serious.”

“It’s no big deal. I’ve got three years of school yet. I can work summers in the garage. I’ll earn that back easy.”

“Just make sure you do.”

“Fuck, Roy! When did you turn into Martha Stewart?” Roy laughed out loud and Daniel couldn’t help grinning. “Okay, bad example – how about Dave Ramsey?”

Roy pointed up ahead and Daniel’s smile widened. Sirona was parked where he’d left her and still had two wheels. Things were looking up.

“Thanks, man,” he said to Roy.

“No worries. Stay out of trouble.”

Daniel climbed out of the truck and thumped on the side. Roy peeled away, giving Daniel the bird as he drove off.

“Fucker,” Daniel grumbled to himself.

But running his hands over Sirona’s chrome, he began to feel better.

“Hey, baby. Miss me?”

She was hard work, this motorcycle. Not like a modern Japanese import. Nope, no easy push button start for his baby.

He bent down to turn on the gas, pulled out the choke, opened the throttle fully, primed it with a couple of kicks, then he felt the vibrations as the kick-start made her spring alive, pulsing through his body. He could feel her.

He rode home, keeping within the speed limit the whole way. He couldn’t risk losing her again.

But his good mood didn’t last long. As soon as Zef heard him pull up, he was outside and in Daniel’s face. Roy stood there, grimacing.

“Tell me you’re fucking joking?” shouted Zef. “You’re using your college fund to pay that fucking fine?”

Daniel stood his ground as Zef’s eyes blazed with fury, and Roy looked more than a little uncomfortable.

Daniel glanced over to his brother’s friend. He didn’t blame Roy – Zef would have found out sooner or later.

“Mom and dad saved that money for you to go to school and get your degree. They didn’t work their butts off so you could piss it up against the wall to pay for a fucking speeding ticket.”

“I know that!” Daniel yelled back. “But I didn’t have a choice. I worked on Sirona for two fucking years so I wouldn’t have to take the bus – I’m not going to sell her to pay some shitty fine.”

“Then you shouldn’t have got caught speeding, you dumb fuck!”

“Do you think I don’t fucking know that?!”

“No, I don’t. And why the hell are you dating that singer? That is just fucking mental! Do you want to be reminded every day? Because I remember you bleeding all over me when you couldn’t play your music any more, and now you’re dating a
singer
?”

“We’re not dating, we’re friends. We…”

“Bullshit!”

Roy stepped between them, placing his massive hands on their chests and pushing them apart.

“Take it down a notch, guys. It’s done now. No use having a shit fit.”

Zef glared at him. “Butt the fuck out, Roy. This is family business.”

“No, it’s
my
business,” snapped Daniel, “and I’m outta here.”

He turned on his heel, needing some space. He had to get his head together and there was only one person he wanted to see.

* D: can I see you? Are you alone? *

Lisanne’s reply was instant.

* L: K out with Vin. Am home alone. LA xx *

Feeling relieved, he pulled his bike around, heading for the dorms, and to the one person who seemed to understand him.

Just a quick stop at the liquor store first.

It wasn’t open house hours at the dorm rooms, so Daniel snuck in via the fire exit that the girls kept open, allowing their boyfriends to visit. It was the worst kept secret on campus.

He knocked on Lisanne’s door and she opened it immediately.

“Hi.”

“Hi. Are you okay? Did you get your bike back?”

He nodded wearily as she pushed the door open wide. He walked in, kissing her quickly on the cheek, and slumped down on her bed.

“Yeah.”

“So, it was all okay?”

“Pretty much.”

He couldn’t face telling her that he’d had to spend a chunk of money from his college fund, or that Zef had told him not to date her. That shit was just too raw to talk about.

“I brought beer,” he said, shrugging out of his leather jacket and pulling a six-pack from a paper bag.

“Oh! Um, I don’t really drink.”

“S’okay. I do.” He snapped the tab on the first can and chugged almost half of it.

Lisanne watched him nervously, wondering if he simply wanted somewhere to get drunk. He looked up and saw the expression on her face.

“Sorry. I should have asked. Do you mind?”

“Um, no. It’s fine.”

He sighed. “Shit, I’m doing everything wrong. Sit with me?”

Lisanne climbed onto the end of the bed and sat cross-legged, facing him.

“Look, I’m really sorry about how I was before. You know, yesterday. I just… fuck, this is hard.” He stared down at his fingers.

Lisanne waited for him to continue

“It was really good yesterday. Before… I wasn’t expecting… I mean, we’re friends, right? And I don’t want to do anything to fuck that up. But I don’t want you to think that what we did… ah, shit.”

His stumbling words ground to a halt again. But he was trying. He was really trying.

“Why were you so mad at me?” she said, quietly.

He met her gaze. “Because you made it sound like it was nothing. Like I just go around getting off random girls.”

“Don’t you?”

Daniel scowled at her. “No!”

“How many girls have you slept with this semester?”

“Other than you?” he said, raising his eyebrows.

They were both thinking of him falling asleep on her bed that morning.

“You know what I mean, but if you want me to rephrase: How many girls have you had sex with?”

He chewed his lip for a few seconds, and took a large gulp of beer.

“Three.”

“Altogether?”

“Three this semester.”

Jeez!

“How many in total?”

“Um…”

There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

Lisanne stared. “You don’t know?”

“Christ! Give me a break! I don’t exactly mark notches on my bedpost!”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Make a guess. A wild stab,” she added, sarcastically.

“Maybe thirty.”

Lisanne swallowed.

“Maybe thirty-five,” he said, quietly.

She’d guessed it would be a high number, but it was still quite a shock.

“Oh,” she said, trying to keep her face blank, but knowing he could probably read her expression perfectly.

“Why are we even talking about this?” he muttered, as much to himself as to her. Then he looked up. “But you’re only the second girl I’ve ever
slept
with,” he added.

“What do you mean?”

He rubbed his hands over his hair in frustration.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t date. Girls don’t want to date me – they just want to fuck me. And I like fucking. But none of them
know
about me: you’re the only one. The others never stick around long enough to find out.”

“You mean you never give them the chance.”

“Whatever. It’s the same thing.”

“Not really.”

“Fuck, Lisanne! I’m trying to say… I want…”

“What?”

“You’re not making this easy…”