Dangerous Games (7 page)

F
inn was waiting for me again the next morning.

‘Ready to do it all again?' he said.

And then he smiled and I couldn't possibly resist.

We went into the city again, but this time we just roamed around looking at shop signs. Finn told me that the white circle insignia was in all sorts of places once you started looking – on signs, on logos, in shop windows – and once I started looking for it, I discovered he was right. Sure, it's a pretty common symbol. But it's
everywhere
.

‘How do you know which of these are theirs and which of them are just circles?' I asked.

I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the sheer volume of white circles in my world. If every single one of them stood for an agent of order, or something agent-of-order related (an office, a safe house, whatever) then I was going to have a little meltdown right there.

‘You get a feel for it after a while,' Finn said.

‘There are so many of them!'

Finn grinned, seemingly unperturbed. ‘I told you.'

The morning wore on and we kept wandering through the city, strolling through shopping malls, going up escalators and down again, looking at signs and shop windows, getting a feel for the town and its vibrations.

‘You're lucky,' Finn said after a while. ‘I don't think there's a lot of white circle activity here.'

‘Really?' I asked, feeling both pleased and slightly disappointed.

‘I mean, they're here,' Finn said, ‘but the place isn't infested with them. Man, the last town I was in …' He trailed off, shaking his head. ‘Weird place. Seriously weird. Too many agents of order in one place give a town a very spooky vibe.'

‘So what's it like living on the road?' I asked.

‘Great,' he said. ‘Only way to live.'

‘But where do you sleep?'

‘Here and there,' Finn said. ‘In my car sometimes. I find places to stay.'

‘But you must have a home somewhere?'

‘Not anymore,' Finn said.

‘But where do you keep all your stuff?'

‘Once you're on the road you find you don't actually need a lot of stuff.'

‘No,' I said, ‘I guess not.'

I thought about my bedroom at home, filled with clothes and toys and books and clutter, stuff I wouldn't want to throw away but never actually looked at anymore. And how much more stuff was there in our whole house – old threadbare swimming towels, glass dishes for serving nuts on, gadgets for taking the pits out of olives, mosaic-tile pot-rests we made in primary school,
bits of old stereo, outgrown miniature cricket bats, the hammock from the tree that had been cut down five years ago. So much stuff, and no-one would ever want it, and yet nothing was ever done about it.

I began to assemble a little checklist of what I would take, just in case I ever had to run away from home, and was just beginning to consider how many pairs of shoes I'd need when Finn said, ‘I left home when I was sixteen. A few things happened when I first got my powers. Bad things.' He paused. ‘I didn't have a guide straight away. In fact, it was a while before I got one, so I had no idea what was going on. All I knew was, when I got mad at people, stuff happened to them.' He was silent for a moment. ‘So I had to get out of there and I've been on the move ever since.'

‘It must be lonely,' I said, and felt myself turning red at my own daringness.

Finn looked at me questioningly, and then nodded. ‘Well, yeah. It can be. But I haven't always been on my own.'

‘You had that mate,' I said, ‘the one who saved you in the mining town.'

Finn nodded, pleased that I remembered. ‘We both left school at the same time. Spent the summer cruising around making idiots of ourselves. He got sick of it eventually. Went back to the real world, started living an ordinary life again.' He paused. ‘And then I met up with Angie.'

‘Who's Angie?' I asked, an odd feeling stirring inside me.

Finn paused and sniffed the air, and at the same
moment I caught a delicious whiff of something that smelt a bit like violets and coconut oil and lime all mixed up together. We were walking through an arcade of old shops that had somehow managed to escape the renovating bug, and the smell, mysteriously, seemed to be coming from a funny little pet shop. Finn made a little noise of recognition and went inside, and as I followed him I realised the shop had been turned into a safe house.

Destroyers can create invisible force-fields around certain spaces – such as rooms, shops, houses, even bits of park – where the agents of order can't get you. I had turned my own house into a safe house; this shop was clearly another. Safe houses carried no signs, no warning, nothing that would give them away, except for their signature scent: they all had their own particular fragrance, and when you smelt it, it made you feel safe and comfortable and warm. There were safe houses all over town, and any destroyer could use them. It gave me a funny feeling whenever I stepped inside one, as I wondered about the destroyer who'd made the space, and what had happened to them since.

Once we were both inside the shop Finn reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He opened it and showed me a photo of a girl, maybe 21 years old, with a mane of brown hair and a compelling gaze. She looked restless and complex and casually bohemian, and as soon as I saw her I knew there was no way I could possibly compete.

‘This is Angie,' Finn said, in the serious voice he used when he was talking about destroyer stuff. ‘She was my guide. She was neutralised.'

‘I'm sorry,' I said.

‘Angie was an amazing destroyer,' Finn said. ‘The best. She taught me everything I know. I'm still trying to get my head around some of the stuff she taught me. We met on the road, and we were on the move for about a year. Man, that was a time.'

I was silent, imagining their life together: Finn and Angie, two free spirits, going wherever the road took them, trying to stay one step ahead of the forces of order, no attachments, no family except each other. It sounded thrilling and dangerous and lonely and brave, and I felt his words dropping on my heart as a kind of challenge –
are you a free spirit, like me, like Angie? Are you bold enough to take on this life?
And a part of me longed to say:
yes!
But another part of me thought:
Warm doona. Comfortable home. Friends. My life
. And backed away.

‘After a while, though, she decided she was sick of moving around,' Finn said, a bitter expression on his face, staring at the displays of cat collars and dog beds and different-sized bird-cages. He reached out and picked up a toy mouse and put it down again. ‘She wanted a place of her own, somewhere she could feel safe. So we found somewhere and moved in. Turned it into a safe house. She got a
job
,' Finn said, as if this was the most unlikely thing of all.

He turned away from me and began to walk towards the back of the shop, past the tanks of goldfish. ‘We lasted three months. And then they came for us.'

He paused in front of a tank with a brilliant blue Siamese fighting fish in it. It hung there limply, disconsolate and bored, waiting for another fish to come
along and fight it. ‘That's why it drives me so crazy when people like Ben want to stick their heads in the sand,' Finn said. ‘He knows what the white circle can do. He knows the two of you are at risk. But he's not willing to do anything about it. It's stupid. Stupid and gutless.'

He was watching the fish with a look of intense concentration and I felt a little shiver run up the back of my neck as I saw him lift one hand and place it against the glass. ‘Because they won't stop. They won't stop until they've eliminated every single one of us from the face of the earth. It's their mission. They can't help themselves.'

The air around him seemed to shimmer slightly – and then the fish went berserk, battering itself against the glass in a finny fury as it tried to attack him, and at the same time all the puppies in the shop started to bark and the kittens yowled and spat and the rabbits screamed in terror, and the shop assistant turned to glare at us, but there was nothing to see except two people standing quietly beside the fish.

‘You should come with me,' he said.

I didn't think he could possibly be serious so I laughed hesitantly.

‘I mean it,' he said. ‘If you really want to learn what it means to be a destroyer you've got to live it.'

‘You want me to hit the road? With you?'

‘You've got talent. I could use someone like you.'

He took his hand away from the glass fish tank and the green glowing eyes of his snake bracelet began to fade. The puppies calmed down and the kittens calmed
down and the rabbits calmed down. But the fish fought on, hurling itself ceaselessly against the glass, until it was exhausted.

H
it the road? Me? With Finn?

The idea was completely bonkers, but I couldn't think about anything else. Where would we go? What would we do? What would my life be like? And what would I take? Whenever I thought about it I felt so excited my powers started shimmering like a Christmas tree. For whole minutes at a time I imagined myself out there with Finn, cool and carefree, living a life of danger, whizzing up the highway, going from one town to another, meeting other destroyers, him and me against the world. I imagined myself dressed in black and looking stormy and troubled. No more school. No more homework. No doing anything I didn't want to do. Only freedom – perfect freedom.

But then I'd remember that I don't actually like long car trips. And the prospect of having to sleep in Finn's car didn't really grab me either. It didn't sound very comfortable. And where would we shower? I hated having dirty hair. And as much as I'd be happy to leave my incredibly annoying brother behind forever, I think I'd
miss my mum and dad after a while. And my friends. And Ben.

I still hadn't told Ben what I'd been up to with Finn.

Soon. Definitely.

‘M
eliss,' Soph said, slamming her locker door shut, ‘we need to talk.'

It was the end of the next day, and Soph and I were putting our books away in our lockers. After two days hanging with Finn I'd decided to put in an appearance at school – but I was so preoccupied with everything Finn had told me that I'd barely heard a word anyone said to me all day.

‘What about?' I asked.

‘Us,' she said. ‘Things have been weird between us ever since I introduced you to Draz.'

‘What do you mean, weird?' I said.

‘You know what I mean,' Soph said.

‘
I
haven't been weird,' I said.

‘You have,' said Soph.

‘Weird how?'

‘Meliss,' Soph said. ‘This is me.'

She was right. Things
had
been weird between us. But now that I'd started hanging out with Finn, none of that seemed to matter quite so much anymore.

‘It was a shock, okay?' I said. ‘But I'm over it now. Really.'

‘Then why have you been so quiet?'

‘I haven't.'

‘You have. It's almost like you disapprove of me or something.'

‘Me?' I said. ‘Disapprove?'

‘There, you see? That sounded disapproving.'

‘It wasn't supposed to.'

‘Don't you like Draz?'

‘It's not that,' I said.

‘So you do like him?'

‘I'm sure he's fine.'

Soph looked at me suspiciously. Enthusiasm was required.

‘He seems –' I groped for the right word. Nice? No. Lovable? No. Trustworthy? Dependable? Worthy of Soph? Nup. ‘He seems fun,' I said finally. ‘He's just – ah – different from the other guys you've been involved with.'

‘I know,' Soph said, her eyes lighting up. ‘I've never felt like this about anyone before. He's just so thrilling to be around, you know? It's like sticking my finger in an electric light socket or something.'

‘And that's a good thing?'

‘Yes!' she said. She looked at me earnestly. ‘You're my best friend, Meliss. I want you two to get on.'

‘Yeah, so do I,' I said.

‘We're going to a party this weekend. I was thinking you and Ben might like to come.' She paused. ‘Or if you'd rather bring this other guy … ?'

‘No!' I said quickly. ‘I mean – sure. I'll come. But not with – I mean, I'll see what Ben's doing.'

‘Great!' Soph said, and then looked at me through slightly narrowed eyes. ‘So what's the story with you two and this other guy?'

‘There isn't a story.'

‘But you were with him again yesterday, right?'

‘Yesterday? No. I had a tummy thing.'

Soph just looked at me like she didn't believe me. ‘Ben's a really cool guy,' she said.

‘I know,' I said.

‘Worth hanging onto.'

‘I know,' I said irritably.

‘I'm just saying.'

‘I'll talk to him about Saturday,' I said.

‘Great.'

Ben was free on Saturday night, and if he was a little bit surprised to receive a party invitation from me he didn't say so. Ben and I watched footy together, we sometimes went to the movies together, and if one of us had worked out some new thing we could do with our powers we'd get together and practise it – but we hadn't been to any parties together. Going to parties was a little bit too much like date territory. I mean, watching sport or hanging out or going to a movie was something that mates might do together. But going to a party, just the two of you, or with another couple, well, that was coupley. That was datey. But Ben didn't question it and so I told myself that it was fine, it was going to be like when we went to the social. We weren't
together
together.

Saturday rolled around and me and Soph went to stay at Celeste's house (so she could be the one hiding in her bedroom with the music turned up pretending to have
fun), and then snuck out her back door and scurried up the street to where Ben was waiting. We wriggled into our party clothes in the back seat and then put our make-up on by the car's interior light. Ben looked studiously out the window, an amused smile on his lips, while all this was going on.

‘So are we picking up Draz?' he asked, when we were finished.

‘He's meeting us there,' Soph said. ‘I'm so glad you guys could come. We're going to have the best time tonight.'

Ben caught my eye and grinned, and I couldn't help feeling a little tingle of excitement. Soph had spent so much time talking about how much fun these parties were, and her excitement was infectious. We headed off to the party and after only a few detours – Soph didn't have a great sense of direction and neither of us could read a street directory properly – we arrived.

You know that version of high school they have in movies? That version where everyone's good-looking and drives a car and lives this wild life filled with parties? My life was normally nothing like that. I didn't know those people and I didn't get invited to those sorts of parties. My friends were all fourteen, like me, and girls, and mostly luckless. Our parties featured cakes and visible parents and scheduled finishing times. Despite what I'd heard from Soph about the wild life Draz led, when I imagined what this party was going to be like I'd visualised cool kids of both sexes and great music and the kind of hilarity where lots of people got pushed into the pool (not that that would be much fun in this case because it
was winter) and some of the guys got drunk and lots of people snogged and it all got a little out of hand, but not so much that you didn't have a good time.

This was not one of those parties.

You could hear the music from halfway down the street and I felt very, very glad that Soph had insisted on not telling our parents where we were going, because they would have taken one look at the party, slapped on the central locking and accelerated towards home without another word. At this party there was not going to be any cake.

Music was blasting out so loud you could hear the glass rattling in the window-frames. The house was dark and full of people, talking, drinking, dancing, fighting, shouting, laughing, stumbling, snogging. I could see that this was a good party: it was packed and throbbing and alive, and all kinds of people were having all kinds of fun. But I couldn't help feeling a bit like Red Riding Hood walking into the deep dark forest. These people were not the cool kids from high school. They were more like the guys you see at the cricket at the end of a very long hot day filled with nationalistic fervour and an awful lot of beer drinking.

Ben looked at us quizzically as we walked up the street towards the house. ‘Whose party did you say this was?' he asked.

‘I don't know,' Soph said. ‘Some guy Draz knows. I think he's a friend of his brother.'

Ben looked at me. I shrugged. And so the three of us walked up the front steps into a boozy, beery roar.

We inched our way down the crowded hallway,
looking for familiar faces. We reached a lounge room packed with people dancing, smoking, talking. No-one there we knew. We pushed on, past the bathroom, and into the kitchen, which was crammed tight with bodies, all talking, all drinking, none familiar. Soph was craning her neck for Draz, but he was nowhere to be seen.

We pushed on until we reached the backyard. Different music was playing out here – slower, more chilled, but still very loud. Someone had filled a paddling pool with ice, and the pool was jammed with booze: beer, wine, cheap spirits.

‘Do you think we should have brought something to drink?' I asked, wondering if there were any soft drinks stashed somewhere in the pile. I couldn't see any.

‘Probably,' Soph said. ‘But never mind. Draz will bring something. So what do you think? Is this a great party or what?'

‘It's not what I expected,' Ben said, looking at Soph with a teasing smile.

‘Oh really? And what were you expecting?' Soph asked in her bright sparkly way.

‘Pass the parcel,' Ben said.

‘He thinks we're a couple of dags, Meliss,' Soph said, delighted, turning to me.

‘No, I think Melissa's a dag,' Ben said. ‘You're a party animal.'

Soph laughed, thrilled. ‘Well, I'm doing my best to turn her into a real teenager,' she said. ‘It's been an uphill battle, but we're getting there.'

‘If anyone can do it, you can,' Ben said.

‘I couldn't believe it,' Soph said, ‘Meliss actually
skipped school the other day for the first time ever.'

My heart stopped and I turned to her in silent terror but Soph wasn't looking at me.

‘Yeah? Where were you?' Ben asked, not suspecting, turning to me.

‘Secret destroyer business,' Soph said. And then she saw the look on my face, and realised she'd put her foot in it. Her whole leg, actually. Up to the hip.

Ben was looking at me, perplexed. ‘What secret destroyer business?'

Damn! Damn! Damn!
‘I hung out with Finn,' I said. ‘I was going to tell you.'

‘You hung out with him?' Ben repeated.

‘He showed me how to hunt agents of order,' I said. ‘I can show you how to do it if you like.'

But a frown was gathering on Ben's brow. ‘Why didn't you tell me you'd seen him again?' he asked.

‘It wasn't a secret,' I said awkwardly. ‘I just hadn't got around to telling you.'

Ben looked at me, disbelief and anger etched on his face. ‘Right,' he said. ‘You know what? I don't think I'm really in a party mood.'

‘Oh, don't go!' Soph wailed.

‘Sorry, but I can't stay,' he said tersely. ‘Melissa, are you coming?'

I looked at Soph to see what she wanted to do. ‘I have to stay and wait for Draz,' Soph said.

‘I can't leave you here by yourself,' I said.

‘He's definitely coming?' Ben asked, turning to Soph.

‘Definitely,' Soph said.

‘Can you make sure she gets home safely?'

‘Of course we can,' Soph said.

‘Right. See you then.'

And Ben turned and walked away into the throng of party-goers.

‘Don't just stand there!' Soph said, pushing me. ‘Go after him!'

So I chased after him. ‘Ben, wait!' I called.

The party was very loud and I couldn't get him to stop until we were in the front yard, which was relatively uncrowded.

‘Why did you invite me tonight?' he demanded.

‘I – I thought it'd be fun,' I said.

‘Soph's got a boyfriend so you've got to have a boyfriend too, is that it?'

‘No!' I said.

‘Next time, maybe you should ask Finn,' he said, and then he turned and stalked away.

‘I'm sorry!' I called after him. But he didn't turn around.

I stood there, dejected, wishing I could go home, knowing I was stuck. My worst fears had come true. Ben was furious at me. Could he be jealous of Finn? But what did he have to be jealous about?

I remembered the daydreams I'd had about Finn kissing me, and knew the answer to that question. But Ben and I were mates. Why should he care if I had a thing for Finn?

Soph came out the front door. ‘Has he gone?' she asked.

‘Yep.'

‘Is he still mad?'

‘Oh yeah.'

‘I'm sorry,' Soph sighed. ‘I thought you were going to tell him.'

‘I was,' I said. ‘But I never quite got round to it.'

Soph was silent for a moment. I knew she was thinking
I told you so
. But she had the good manners not to say it.

‘What do you want to do?' she asked.

All I wanted to do was go home. But I could see that Soph was desperate to stay. I considered my options. I had no money for a cab, so that was out. Obviously there was no question of asking my parents to come and pick me up. And I could walk home, but I wasn't quite sure where I was, and walking through dark streets by myself at night didn't seem like such a great idea. And I couldn't even go home tonight, since I was supposed to be staying at Celeste's place. ‘We may as well stay,' I said.

Soph looked relieved. ‘Are you sure?' she asked. ‘Because if you want I can try and find someone who'll give you a lift back to Celeste's.'

There was no-one here I knew, and no-one appeared to be sober. ‘No,' I said. ‘Let's wait until Draz gets here.'

‘Okay,' Soph said. We stood there on the front steps for a moment. ‘So what do you want to do?'

I couldn't imagine talking to anyone here. And I wasn't in a very chatty mood anyway. ‘We could go and dance,' I suggested.

‘Okay!' Soph said.

So we wriggled back down the hallway and inserted
ourselves into the dancing throng. And for the first minute or two all I could think about was Ben and Finn and my painful inflammation of guilt, but then a song came on that I liked and I danced and danced until I stopped thinking and stopped worrying and everything disappeared except the rhythm and the heat and the music.