Dancing in the Dark (7 page)

“Seth.” Gina looked up at him. “You can’t stay. Really, I wish you could, but—”

“Yeah.” He ran his fingers through his snow-dampened hair. “Look, I’m sorry. I just...I saw her, you know? And it was—it was a surprise. How come you didn’t tell me?”

“Because...because—”

“Because I asked her not to.”

Seth lifted his head. He stared past Gina and saw Wendy coming slowly down the stairs.

CHAPTER FOUR

W
ENDY
CLUTCHED
the banister and looked down at Seth.

This was the moment she’d feared, the one she’d known was inevitable ever since her father said it was probably going to take longer than he’d expected to get time alone with Dr. Pommier. The longer she stayed in town, the greater the risk that Seth would learn she was here. It was one of the reasons she’d come up with excuses yesterday, when her father asked her to go with him while he ran some errands.

“Are you concerned folks will ask you questions when they see you? About your plans and if you’re home to stay, things like that?” he’d said, and then he’d answered the question himself. “Well, don’t worry, honey. We won’t tell them a thing until after you’ve seen Dr. Pommier and he’s agreed to do that surgery. Okay?”

What could she have said after that? That she didn’t want people to see her limp, or she didn’t want to risk bumping into Seth? Either answer made her sound like a coward, so she’d smiled and said, sure, she’d go with him, now that she’d had a little time to get used to being back in Cooper’s Corner.

But the thumping beat of her heart gave proof to the lie. She
was
a coward. She hadn’t wanted to see anybody because she hadn’t wanted to see pity in their eyes. But most of all, she’d been afraid of what she would see in the eyes of the man who’d loved the girl she used to be. She didn’t want his sympathy any more than she wanted his rejection if he ever found out exactly how critical her injuries had been.

Looking down at him, Wendy knew with relief that she’d had nothing to worry about. What she saw in Seth’s face was anger. Cold, controlled anger, and she knew, in that instant, that it was over for him, too.

Good.

So what if her pulse was rattling like a runaway train? That was normal when you saw a man who’d once been your lover, a man you hadn’t seen or spoken to in nine endless years.

“Seth,” she said carefully. “You’re looking well.”

“Hello, Wendy.”

His voice was lower than she remembered. And he seemed bigger, though he’d always been tall and leanly muscled; standing next to him had made her feel feminine, almost delicate, even though her body was toned and hardened from years of skiing. He wasn’t bigger, she realized. He was mature, a man instead of a boy. A ruggedly handsome man with a strong jaw and a beautiful mouth.

“How have you been?” There. Wasn’t that good? Her voice was steady, her smile pleasant. So what if she left dents in the banister from gripping so hard? He’d never know.

“Fine.” His gaze swept down her body, lingered on her leg, then returned to her face. “And you?”

“Oh, I’m—I’m well, thank you.”

“Last I heard, you’d been putting in long hours at rehab.”

Wendy glanced at her mother, the source, she was sure, of any updates. Gina seemed frozen in place, her hands clasped at her breast, her gaze moving from face to face as they talked, like a spectator watching match point at a tennis game.

“Yes, that’s right. I still do.”

“And it’s obviously paid off. It’s good to see you on your feet again.”

The few people she’d talked with in town yesterday—in the general store, at the gas station—had carefully avoided making any reference to her leg. Did he think he was going to get to her by bringing up the past?

“Thank you. Mom,” she said pleasantly, “if we’re going to get to that mall—”

“Are you happy, living in France?”

“Very happy, thank you for asking.”

“I was surprised to hear you were back.”

“Why?” She turned to him again and smiled politely. “This is my home. Why wouldn’t I come back?”

“Is this a visit? Or have you come home to stay?”

“Seth, really, it’s very nice to see you, but—”

“You didn’t answer my question. Why haven’t you come home before?”

“Because I didn’t want to,” she said, holding the smile. “Anything else?”

“Wendy,” Gina said sharply, “there’s no need to—”

“That’s okay, Gina. Wendy’s right. Where she lives, what she does is none of my business.” He stepped back and put a hand on the doorknob. “I probably should have called first.”

What had happened to all that calm certainty she’d felt when she first started down the steps and saw him? Seth was just someone from the past. He was nothing to her now. Then why was the sight of him making her feel as if she was seventeen again and he’d just come to pick her up for their very first date? It had been snowing then, too, and he’d come inside the house just as she started down the stairs....

“Yes,” she said, “you should have.”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Well, it’s good seeing you again.”

“Thank you.”

“This is where you’re supposed to say it’s good seeing me again, too.”

“Goodbye, Seth.”

He turned away and opened the door. Then he hesitated. She saw his shoulders stiffen and suddenly he swung toward her, and she knew his anger had gotten the best of him.

“That’s it? Nine years of silence, and all you can manage is ‘Goodbye, Seth’?”

“I haven’t anything else to say to you.”

“Well, damn it, maybe you should. Maybe you should start with explaining why you treated me like a stranger after I flew to Norway to be with you. After a while, you might work your way around to ‘I’m sorry, Seth.’ How’s that sound?”

“I don’t owe you anything. You flew to Norway on your own. I didn’t ask you to come.”

His eyes bored into her as he reached behind him and slammed the door shut. The sound echoed off the walls. Out of the corner of her eye, Wendy saw her mother jump.

“No,” he said bitterly, “you sure as hell didn’t.”

“Please leave.”

“Great. It’s still a dismissal, but this time there’s a ‘please’ attached.”

Wendy came down the rest of the steps. Her heart was still banging away but now it was with fury. Who did he think he was?

“Get out.” She raised her hand, pointed at the door. “Get out of this house!”

“Wendy,” Gina said, “Seth—”

“Oh, I’m going. I’m going, all right. I just wanted you to know that...that—” He clamped his lips together. “The hell with this,” he muttered. “Gina? I’m sorry.”

“No. Seth, it isn’t your fault—”

He yanked the door open, stepped onto the porch into the swirling snow and was gone. Gina shut the door, leaned against it and let out her breath.

“That poor boy.”

“I can’t believe he did that.” Wendy was trembling. She wrapped her arms around herself and sank down on the bottom step. “Did he really think he could just...just barge in here and say...” Her head came up as her mother’s words penetrated. “What?”

“I said—”

“I heard what you said, Mother. Do you mean to tell me you feel sorry for Seth?” She grabbed the banister and pulled herself to her feet. “You heard the things he said to me! How can you feel any sympathy for him?”

“You could have been more polite!”

“Polite?” Wendy barked out a laugh. “He came here uninvited, put me through an inquisition, acted as if I owed him something, and you call him a poor boy?”

“You
do
owe him something. An apology. I’ve never said that to you, not in all these years, but you treated Seth—”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Well, you’re going to. That boy—”

“He’s not a boy, he’s a man. And if he thinks I’m going to grovel just because I had the courage to do what I knew I had to do—”

“That
man,
” Gina said sternly, “dropped everything he was doing to fly to your side. And you—” She broke off in the middle of the sentence, breathing hard, eyes suddenly welling with tears. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry.”

“That’s all right,” Wendy said stiffly. “Say what you have to say.”

“No. Baby, I didn’t mean...” Gina stepped forward and took hold of her daughter’s shoulders. “You were right to concentrate all your energies on yourself. You had to. It’s the only way you got through the accident. It’s just that I saw how hurt Seth was. All through the years, I kept hoping you’d get in touch with him.”

“For what? I don’t love him.”

“I’m not talking about love, baby, I’m talking about doing the right thing. You could have called him just to say, I don’t know, that you appreciated what he’d done, that you hoped he was happy....”

“Is he?” The words were out before Wendy could stop them. “Alison says he’s seeing someone. Is he happy with her, Mom?”

“Oh, my,” Gina said softly. “You still care for him.”

“No!” Wendy wrenched free of her mother’s hands. “You just finished saying I should have asked him if he was happy. Can’t I ask it without you making it into something personal?”

“And it isn’t?”

“Of course not!” Wendy ran the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip. “Okay. You’re right. I mean, I should have gotten in touch with him at some point. I just... It’s hard, looking back, Mom. Can you understand that?”

“Yes, I guess I can. He reminds you of the past. And you only want to think about the future.” Gina sighed. “And you’re right. It’s none of my business.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.” Gina smiled. “I kind of got the message.”

Wendy’s shoulders slumped. She sighed and put her arms around her mother. “Forgive me,” she said softly. “I shouldn’t be letting all this out on you.”

Gina returned the embrace. “And I shouldn’t have jumped on you. No matter how much Seth might have wanted to see you, you were right. He
should
have called before coming here.” She drew back and clasped Wendy’s face. “I know it must have been a shock to see him again, after such a long time.”

Wendy nodded. “It was.” She hesitated. “Mom, I know you think I treated Seth badly, but—”

“What I think,” Gina said gently, “is that I have to keep out of this.” Wendy sighed and sank down on the step again. Her mother sat down next to her. “Can I ask one question?”

“Of course.”

Gina brushed a curl back from Wendy’s forehead. “Did you break things off because you thought you might be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life?”

“That was part of it.”

“Honey, you have to know that wouldn’t have mattered to a man like Seth.”

“There was more to it than that.”

“I hope so,” Gina said gently, “because that kind of decision wasn’t yours to make.”

“You’re wrong, Mom. It
was
my decision. It couldn’t have been Seth’s. I knew he’d...he’d opt for the honorable thing. That he’d say my being unable to walk wouldn’t matter, but it did.”

“Wendy—”

“Don’t tell me it’s not true, Mother.” Wendy’s voice trembled. “I wasn’t
me
anymore. I’m still not the person I was, the person Seth knew and fell in love with....” She bit her lip. “Seth and I had our time, and we lost it.” She wouldn’t cry. Wouldn’t give in to the almost overwhelming desire to lay her head on her mother’s shoulder and sob. She hadn’t done that, not once, not even when she’d first awakened to a world in which pain was the only constant. Instead, she reached for Gina’s hands and held them tightly in hers. “But that’s not the reason I ended things.”

“You decided you weren’t in love with Seth.”

“We were wrong for each other.” It was the truth, in a way. “And I knew I had to do something about it.”

“I understand. No, don’t shake your head. I really do. Brushes with—with death make people see things differently.” Gina gave a little laugh. “Oprah 101. But it’s true. And I promise, that’s the end of that. No more comments from me, I swear.” She looked down at their joined hands for a long moment. When she lifted her head, her eyes were damp but she was smiling. “Okay,” she said briskly, “it’s time to take on the mall.”

“Mom? Would you mind very much if we put it off?”

“No. Of course not. If you’re tired—”

“I’m not. And before you ask, yes, my leg’s fine. I just thought I might go out for a while, take a look around and see what’s changed.”

“In Cooper’s Corner?” Gina grinned. “You’re joking.”

“Alison said there’s a new B and B.”

“Yes. And that’s it, unless you want to count the new gum ball machine down at the grocery store. Why don’t you call Alison and see if she’s free for lunch? I’m sure you two still have lots of catching up to do. Take my car, go for a drive—the snow’s not serious. It should be all done in another hour or two. Besides, my car has four-wheel drive. And those anti-lock brakes. Just remember, if you need to stop fast...” Gina rolled her eyes. “Good grief. I’m treating you as if you were a teenager.”

Wendy laughed as she rose to her feet. “Yes,
Mother,
” she said, putting deliberate emphasis on the word, “you are.”

“Well, I’m not going to apologize. Being a nag is one of the perks of being a mom.” Gina smiled. “Someday you’ll find that out for yourself.”

“Maybe,” Wendy said, her smile tilting. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

She managed to hold the smile until Gina returned to the kitchen. Wendy wasn’t in the mood for company, not even Alison’s, but maybe her mother was right. Lunch might be fun. If nothing else, it would be a distraction.

She phoned the post office. Alison said yes, lunch sounded like a great idea.

“How about the Burger Barn? We never did get there the other day.”

“Terrific.” Wendy got her down parka from the closet, tucked the phone between her ear and her shoulder and worked her arm into a sleeve. “At noon? Is that good for you?”

Alison asked her to hold on for a second while she checked to see if the other clerk would swap his lunch hour with her.

“Yeah,” she said, “that’s fine. See you at noon.”

Wendy hung up the phone, zipped her jacket, yelled a goodbye to her mother and headed out into the morning.

Maybe a drive and a bit of cold, clean air would help clear her head of memories that had no place in her life anymore.

* * *

S
ETH
FELT
LIKE
James Bond.

Forget that. The suave Mr. Bond wouldn’t be driving a country road, hanging four car lengths behind a blue Volvo driven by a woman he’d once loved. Correction. A woman he’d
thought
he once loved. No, old James wouldn’t do such a stupid thing. He wouldn’t have stood silent while Wendy all but pointed to the door and told him to get out of her house, either.