Dance For Me (14 page)

          Hope heard shouting next door and went to her window. She saw Tristan’s white Camry parked behind Dominic’s truck. She cracked her door a bit and could hear everything a bit clearer.

 “Are you fucking her?!”

 Hope could hear the anguish and fury in Tristan’s voice. She put her hands to her face. 

 “What did I get myself into?” she wondered.

 Tristan angrily wiped her tears away.

  “Say something,” she sobbed. “Deny it! Say something! Say anything! Call me crazy!”

   Dominic was expressionless, staring at the ground. He was ashamed, sure. He didn’t want her to find out this way. He wanted to tell her it was over. He was going to. He was going to break up with her. But now this was a huge mess.

 “Were you just with her? You were, weren’t you?”

   Tristan put a hand on her waist.

   “Oh that’s just great. How long have you been lying to me? How long has this been going on? Answer me!”

 “It hasn’t…”

  “It hasn’t what?!”

    Dominic didn’t want to look at her. He hated hurting her, he hated seeing her cry. But he had to be man and do what he had to do. So he looked at her wet face, makeup running, her eyes like flooded pools, lips darker pink than usual like they were sore.

     “I’ve been thinking about us and all this-“

    “What about us?” She said, trying not to cry so much. She was heaving, wiping away her incessant tears. 

 “We’re not going anywhere. We haven’t been. Ever since we moved here you’ve been different, distant. I can’t do it anymore. We obviously want different things.”

    “Right,” she scoffed. “You want different things.” She wiped the bottom of her nostrils. “I can’t believe what you’re doing. I can’t believe you’re doing to this to me, to us.” She broke down again.

     “I don’t want to hurt you.”

     “It’s her, isn’t it?” She looked at Dominic with puddled eyes. “I’ve done everything for you! I got that job, I stopped dancing…What, is she prettier than me, better than me? Is she more exciting?”

     “No,” he said softly. “It’s not about another girl.”

      “Yes it is! Are you retarded?!”

   “Tris, we’re not right for each other anymore. We haven’t been right since…I don’t know. I don’t even know. I tried so hard to work this out with you. I tried to get you back. But you just kept pulling away. After a while, I had to stop. I don’t know what you want.”

     “Oh ok, so you couldn’t talk to me about it? You had to run to a hooker?”

     “I did talk to you about it. I tried but you’re impossible. You’re too caught up with your family and friends.”

      Tristan sniffled.

    “I’m pregnant you stupid asshole. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

    Dominic’s eyes widened. He was surprised all right.

   “But I guess that’s the worst thing you could hear right now.” She fell onto the couch and covered her face in her hands.

   “What are you talking about Tristan? How far along?”

    “Three months,” she said through the tears that sealed her lips. 

     “And you’re barely telling me? How long did you know this?” 

    “I found out three weeks ago. I just wanted it to be a surprise. I was thinking about how I would tell you. I was thinking about how you’d react and if you’d be happy.”

           Dominic shook his head and opened his mouth to talk, there were all kinds of words flowing through his head, but he couldn’t catch the right ones.

         Tristan stared at the shiny blue bulbs that made up his carpet. She could see tracks that were darker blue, and some lighter blue from his vacuum cleaner.

  “Okay,” she got up and grabbed her purse. “You do what you want, ok? I’ll figure this out on my own.”

  “Stop, wait.” He reached for her but she didn’t want to be touched by him. “You can’t just leave.”

 “Why not? Didn’t you just break up with me? Didn’t you just screw someone else? What’s left to say?”

 “This changes everything, Tristan.”

  “What does it change? Does it change how you feel? Does it change the fact you don’t want me anymore? Does it change the fact that you’re screwing around?” She wiped her cheeks again. “Do you love me anymore?”

   He averted his eyes, thinking about it.

   “Yeah,” he said softly. “Of course I do.”

 “But what, you’re not in love with me?”

  “I don’t know.”

    More tears fell from her eyes as the pain inside weighed down on her chest. She pulled the door open and slammed it behind her, staring hard at Hope’s door. She wanted to kick it down and kill her. She wanted to break her window and pull Hope out, and just let her have it. She hated Hope with every last fiber of her existence. She didn’t bang on Hope’s door like a maniac or call her the whore that she knew Hope was. Tristan didn’t know where her self-control was coming from but she was able to turn away and leave without making a bigger scene. Besides, there was always later.

        Hope saw Tristan storming off to her car. She heard bits and pieces of their argument; not everything but enough to know what was going on. She knew Tristan knew that Dominic was cheating on her. She knew Tristan knew it was her, and she knew this couldn’t be good for any three of them. While Hope understood Dominic would most likely not want to go hang out tonight, she didn’t understand why he couldn’t knock on her door to let her know. She waited for him but he didn’t show up. A while later she heard his door open and slam and saw him go down stairs, get into his truck and leave.

26… The party

     So she put off dance rehearsal but it was her night off at the club, as well as Shamayla’s. It was occasional the girls got the same nights off so Hope called Shamayla to ask what she was doing. Shamayla told her there was a party at Shane’s house, and she and Justin were going. Hope figured Dominic went after Tristan and she doubted he would go to Shane’s party. She surprised Shamayla when she agreed to go. She dressed in jeans and a dressy blouse, pulled her hair back and wore silver loop earrings.

    Shane lived in a house on a quite cul de sac where houses were still being built. Hope got there around nine-thirty. There were already cars parked all up and down the street and Dominic’s truck wasn’t amongst them. Hope reached in the backseat for her black sweater, put it on and got off the car. Walking up the front pathway to Shane’s door, she could already hear thumping music and laughter from inside the house.

    No one answered the door when Hope rang the doorbell so she went around back. The yard was mostly cement with a small built in pool. Every face was strange to Hope. She looked for Shamayla’s signature black hair and the gorgeous colors of the ensembles she normally wore. Shamayla stood out in every crowd. Hope figured she was inside the house so she wondered around the backyard, through the back patio and into the kitchen where there were even more strangers. She felt like a fool being by herself and not knowing a soul. This wasn’t how she pictured the night. 

     Hope saw Shane outside talking loudly with a group of people, the pool glowing bright aqua near his feet. A woman offered her a drink and Hope gladly accepted. Shane was wiping tears from his eyes as he walked away from his friends, still laughing. He did a double take when he thought he saw Hope standing in his kitchen. It was her, he realized, with a red plastic cup in her hand. Shane had no idea she would be showing up, mentally linked it to Justin and Shamayla. He went over to her because she was alone and probably bound to leave.

   “Whaaaat?” He put his arms up. “You’re the last person I expected to see here.”

    Hope sort of smiled.

   “Is Shamayla here yet?”

   “They went to the store to get some more booze. Come here, there’s some people I want to introduce you to.”

   Hope was very ‘go with the flow’ tonight. Shane led her outside to meet his buddies. Afterward he told her to stay put, that he’d be right back.

    “Don’t leave me by myself,” she said, tugging at his sleeve.

     “Aight, come with me.”

      Hope took his hand and followed him through the house. Like a lint roller, Shane seemed to attract people like lint balls on the path to the back of his house. A few people here and there stopped what they were doing and followed him to the master bedroom which he had set up as a recording studio.  Hope looked around somewhat in awe. Shane took apart a cigar that smelled of sweet peach and rolled it back together with marijuana. It was fatter now than it had been in its original form.

    “Do you?” he asked Hope.

     “I do.”

     Shane, being the perfect little gentlemen, let her hit it first. The blunt circulated around the room of random guys and chicks, made it back to Hope again. When they were through, everyone was coughing and the room was so hazy, it was as if someone pulled gauze over their eyes. Shane wasn’t sure what was up with Hope. The girl was cold most of the time but now she was wholehearted. He thought maybe she was warming up to him and felt it was his obligation to have her on fire. She was holding his hand so he didn’t give a fuck as to what the miracle was. It was a miracle, so be it.

     Hope sat in a plastic chair and watched the lights of tiki torches dance around the yard. She didn’t care anymore that she knew no one at the party. She knew Shane had to go make his rounds and entertain his guests. Besides, she wouldn’t be alone long. Guys approached her and struck conversation with her, asking her why she sitting alone or who she was and where she came from. Shamayla and Justin got back and Shamayla went out back to sit with Hope who now was enjoying the company of random strangers who sat at her table.

     It was working. Hope went out to get Dominic off of her mind. It was no lie that from time to time that night she thought of him and a little tiny part of her hoped he would magically show up at the party. But every time someone stepped into the yard and she saw it wasn’t him, she was tinged with disappointment which wasn’t doing anything positive for her. So she stopped looking for him, or hoping to see him. She stopped thinking about him all together. As the night wore on, Shane joined her at the table. He was just in time too because Shamayla was sitting in Justin’s lap and they were too consumed in one another, making out like teenagers. Hope felt awkward like a triple nipple but Shane came to her rescue. 

“I have to go,” she said, as he took her hands in his. He swung her arms to and fro when she stood on her feet.

    “No you don’t.”

     She laughed at his cute, subtle insistence.

    “Will you walk me to my car?”

     Shane made a face like he was saddened but then nodded his head.

    “Yeah, I’ll walk you to your car.”

     She didn’t bother saying anything to Shamayla who was too lost in Justin’s face. On the way back to Hope’s car, Shane made a grab for her hand under the gold street lamp.

  “Can I kiss you?” he asked, still holding her hand. She slumped against her car and looked off to the far left.

Fuck this. Shane took a deep breath and then moved up close to her face. Time to throw this into fifth gear.

“There’s something on your mouth…” He got super close to her face and with his thumb wiped at nothing there.

She moved her face away.

“I got it, I got it,” he put his mouth to hers with no hesitation and ever so gently licked her lip.

She closed her eyes when she felt this drenching sensation, rushing down between her legs. 

“Taste like frosting,” he whispered against her mouth. “There’s still a little more,” he said, pulling away to get a better look. She put her hands on his chest when he put his mouth on hers. But the way he was chewing on her lips with his soft ones had her legs shaky. She kissed him back while these thoughts rolled around in her head: he was a great kisser and the starburst candy he’d eaten minutes earlier had sweetened his mouth and made it really wet. Deeply disbursed with their bodies up close, they kissed for a while. 

    “Bye,” she said, gazing into his eyes.

    Shane waved to her, his lips red from kissing savagely, and then headed back to his house, elated that he’d finally gotten that kiss. Maybe she was into him or he just got lucky. Who really cared? Hopefully though, there was more where that came from. As Hope buckled her seatbelt, Shamayla came up to her car and tapped on the window.

   “Hey!”

  Hope rolled down the passenger side window.

  “Hey, why didn’t you tell me you’re leaving?”

  “You were busy. I was going to call you when I got home.” Hope scratched at her ear and didn’t look Shamayla in the eyes.

  “Where did you and Shane disappear to?”

  “We went to the guest room to smoke.”

 Shamayla tilted her head.

 “Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me…”

 “You always assume there’s something to tell.”

  “Is there something to tell?”

  Shamayla opened the passenger side door and got in.

  “What happened to Dominic? I thought you and him…”

  Hope recalled the shower she and Dominic had; firmly handled breasts, palms against tile, hot beads of water beating on their skin, the metallic taste of shower water running into their mouths while they kissed. His saliva was sweet and so were the waves he sent sailing through her over and over. She wanted to smile at this memory but then again…

  “Dominic is all right you know? But he has issues and a woman, and I don’t know. Shane’s all right too. At least he’s single.”

 “Wait, did you and Dominic hook up?”

 Hope nodded.

  “Twice. And both times he just bailed.”

  “Twice? When was the second time?”

  “Earlier today.” Hope put her hands on the steering wheel. She was feeling guilty and she didn’t know why. “It went bad.”

 “What do you mean? What happened?”

 “He came to my apartment after I got home wanting to talk to me. He asked why I’ve been avoiding him which I have. And then he just, he started kissing me and we ended up in the shower and he was telling me how much he likes me and wants me and…” Hope shrugged.