Dadr'Ba (3 page)

To join like this is exceedingly difficult because it’s dependent on the relinquishment of all individual will and acceptance of belonging. The problem is that without will, action is impossible. All participants must at the root of their self, want to perform the act, the act of finding the pre-born and starting its life. The process has to be automatic like a mental muscle memory process, shared by all participants. This process is so complicated that successful firstborns (the successful birth at the first attempt) are rare. It’s common for couples to have to make multiple tries and much joining practice to achieve a successful birth.

The composite Tu’Tan, Le’Ta, A’To, and Ba’Ni, is formed, a waveform unlike any of the individuals, yet carrying their most important and powerful traits, good and bad. It moves towards the still pool of P’Ko’s lifeless mind and settles upon it and slowly as wind upon water causes ripples and waves, to begin to appear. Slowly the processes of brainwave functions start to initiate, barely perceptible at first, with some intermittent pauses but then slowly grow in duration and magnitude until a clearly recognizable pattern begins to emerge based on the composite mental image of the parents and grandparents.

Initially, P’Ko felt Tu’Tan, Le’Ta, A’To, and Ba’Ni as a single painful stimulus, but gradually came to recognize it as something familiar. Like an excellent massage, he began to feel his body awaken, becoming at first awake, and then aware of body parts he hadn’t realized before that he possessed. But something was missing, P’Ko couldn’t define it, but the lack of something important made it feel strange. Finally, even without the missing piece, P’Ko came to become comfortable with Tu’Tan and Le’Ta, forgetting there ever was something missing.

P’Ko remembered the peace and solitude from before, before these friendly invaders, little did they know or realize that they had corrupted the serene nothingness from before, before he was alive. This was the beginning of what P’Ko was and could have easily been the beginning of the universe; it was certainly the beginning of the universe for P’Ko. Even empty space before it can be called space existed as nothingness, a pure nothingness, not even corrupted by dimensions, let alone energy or matter.

Why do energy and matter seek to invade something as pure as nothing? First forcing nothingness, to become an empty space by stretching and ripping dimensions into existence, then tearing open a place to enter. Taken as a whole all the universe equals nothing, so why does the universe need to tear itself apart in order to exist? As much as the universe exists, in its totality, it must equal nothing. It’s a balance.

P’Ko realizes that being is as important as not being and slowly allows being to come into focus. Without knowing the words to express all that has happened begins to recognize the internal universe and opens the sensory organs that will be known later as eyes.   

Suddenly, from nowhere and everywhere was felt an impact, a thump followed by a thump-thump-thump, each impact growing in magnitude, though it was a mental/psychic impact Tu’Tan and Le’Ta felt it as physical impact jarring them and the echoes of A’To, Ba’Ni. Tu’Tan and Le’Ta. They find themselves struggling in a psychic storm, barely hanging on, finally, after several painful, frustrating failed attempts; they find P’Ko in the middle of the tumult and start to draw him out.

Tu’Tan and Le’Ta were told that sometimes the preborns resists birth, but they felt that P’Ko was cooperating, that something had happened to interfere, something from outside.

P’Ko was in a lot of pain and discomfort; it was difficult to see and feel P’Ko in so much distress. They had been told that some preborns fight birth when they suddenly become aware of so many stimuli coming from places unknown, it takes time to sort out what is pain and what isn’t. Everything, at first, is pain. Tu’Tan and Le’Ta felt it at the same time as P’Ko; it was pain, and it came from outside, not from his awakening senses.  

Tu’Tan and Li’ Ta’s concentration is so severely shaken that they wake from their concentration, fighting hard to maintain their link to P’Ko but unable to.

Consciousness and back in this universe Tu’Tan and Le’Ta sense and see the intrusions and the psychic impact’s effect on P’Ko. It altered P’Ko’s pattern with a sharp and distinctive rush, like a strong wind or more like an explosion or concussion on the waves that they built with their combined efforts. The last thoughts imparted on them by the impact before awakening back to the physical world was that of shock, and terror followed immediately with pain and anguish. They realized they couldn’t help but reflect this mental energy towards P’Ko, even as he experienced it himself.

Tu’Tan and Le’Ta’s greatest fear was that P’Ko was dead, or worse, in some catatonic vegetable state and that P’Ko would have to be forcibly retired. The disaster erased A’To and Ba’Ni’s echoes from Tu’Tan and Le’Ta’s completely. Another attempt at birthing would not include their presence or participation, a tragedy, and a mortal sin in the religion of Dadr’Ba because it represents a break in the parental lineage
[12]
and a break with the first Touch of God event
[13]
.

P’Ko’s body lay in convulsions, twitching uncontrollably with occasional moments of seizures, his body so tense it would be easy to imagine muscles tearing loose from their anchors.  P’Ko’s grown body belies the fact the he’s a newborn, conceived and brought to consciousness just moments ago. P’Ko is alive and breathing, but Tu’Tan and Le’Ta are terrified sensing that something terrible is happening, and incapable of doing anything about it. What could be going on in P’Ko’s mind? Was P’Ko alive or in some terrible process of dying?

The MedTech looks up from her monitors to Tu’Tan and Le’Ta, and as calmly and compassionately as she could muster, said that she has never seen or heard of anything like this, even the many failed first born attempts never ended like this. The MedTech softly asked if she should terminate P’Ko, suggesting that they could try again another day.

They looked at P’Ko, the expression on P’Ko’s face was one of fear and pain, at that moment his eye’s wide open, seeing some unknown terror with tears streaming down his cheeks. Tu’Tan and Le’Ta looked at P’Ko and in spite of the obvious trauma P’Ko was experiencing, felt an enormous bond to P’Ko. They psychically examined to the best of their ability and could sense through the dark cloud that enveloped him, that they had succeeded, they were able to recognize the important parts of themselves and A’To and Ba’Ni, that they had implanted on P’Ko. But there was something else, the source of the terror, but it was beginning to quiet down. Tu’Tan and Le’Ta both felt hope beyond hope that P’Ko would recover and be all right.

They empathically tell the MedTech, no! Don’t terminate! And take P’Ko up in their arms, comforting him. P’Ko’s seizures slowly subside, and he finally falls asleep.

P’Ko remains comatose and unresponsive for a very long time. Unable to eat the MedTech is forced to install a feeding tube to prevent P’Ko from starving to death. Tu’Tan and Le’Ta take turns juggling their work schedule and their saved up CA approved parental time off
[14]
.

The MedTech that attended P’Ko’s birth comes to Tu’Tan and Le’Ta wanting to report the anomaly that occurred during the birth. Saying that she did some checking and that it qualifies as what the CA calls a “Touched Birth”
[15]
The MedTech fearing that P’Ko might have a latent memory from before the Touch of God, and that is what brought on the spasms of terror. If discovered the CA would come down on everyone involved with unbelievable vengeance and P’Ko could very likely be tested, analyzed, forcibly retired and dissected.

Tu’Tan and Le’Ta convince the MedTech that even if they had reported it immediately, the CA would have come down hard on them. Now since she waited, punishments would certainly result. They bribe the MedTech to remain silent about P’Ko. Tu’Tan and Le’Ta, in their desperation pay more of their hard-earned credits to have P’Ko evaluated by a Doctor, who performed an illegal Bio-Mod (all Bio-Mods before the age of twenty-five are outlawed) in an attempt to help cure P’Ko’s affliction, with no apparent effect.

After several weeks, P’Ko regains consciousness and is taken off the feeding tube and begins progressing, although more slowly than his peers.

Despite physical/genetic equality, the personality traits and cognitive capacities, including IQs vary widely. Personality, temperament, and cognitive ability differences are the core of the birthing system, the passing of mental/personality imprints from generation to generation, and is believed to be a product of the Touch of God Event.

The Touch of God Event is credited too with a crucial element of the birthing process, and that is psychic abilities, which varies from individual to individual, like people’s cognitive capabilities and personalities. It’s said that this ability is what enabled the crew to survive and to recover from what should have been the death of all on board Dadr’Ba and the failure of their mission.

P’Ko survives his rough childbirth and eventually begins school and begins what seems to be a normal childhood.

Su’Zi, Kr’T’s daughter, burst through the doorway to the converted cargo container turned camp trailer home, having run the short distance from the community school with her brother as soon as they sensed something wrong.

Hysterical and crying, Su’Zi exclaimed, “Somethings happened to Ba
[16]
I think…” and couldn’t finish the rest.

Ln’Da
[17]
, Su’Zi’s mother, already knew, Ln’Da felt something wrong before the psychic impact hit alerting Su’Zi, and had already started searching for her husband.

As soon as Su’Zi saw her mother and felt her mother’s search, Su’Zi realized that she needed to find her brother, Sa’To
[18]
, he’d been right behind her a moment ago.

Su’Zi didn’t have to look far; Sa’To was outside not far down the alley leading to their camp trailer home. He was sitting, staring out into space with a pained expression on his face. Sa’To being Yng’Gr
[19]
sensed Ba’s trouble even before Su’Zi.

Sa’To was already looking for his Ba but based on his psychic aura, the expression on his face and his trembling hands; he was unsuccessful. Su’Zi got Sa’To’s attention and together went to be near and join Ln’Da in her search.

They have no idea what exactly happened, only that Ba suffered a violent end, they don’t know where to look for his psychic remains, and there’s little time before they fade or become lost.

Ln’Da, Sa’To and Su’Zi searched, like individuals with candles wondering caverns looking for the last ash glow of a candle that had just gotten blown out. Their job was to find the smoldering remains of a husband and father before he’s lost forever. 

With joined forces they’re able to cover more ground faster and detect greater detail. They try using their combined forces to do the psychic equivalent of a shout, hoping, that for a brief instant, it may brighten the output of what remains of Ba’s candle, but to no avail.

As they search, they sense others, unfamiliar to them, and avoid them. Even though they desperately want to find Ba they couldn’t afford to compromise themselves and be discovered by the CA. Though doubtful that a casual observer could perceive an individual’s psychic exploring, a novice would be able to discern a group search, shouting into the ether.

Psychic searching is by necessity an opening and revealing process. It is voluntarily exposing one’s psyche, which is the only way to leave one’s physical existence. It is an accommodating process which allows you to get close enough to recognize someone psychically. It also makes it impossible to hide or disguise oneself, or avoid being interrogated. Stealth and deception are impossible; any deception would require extraordinary abilities and even then a good psychic interrogator should find it easy to detect a deception or charade. The extraordinarily difficult effort to deceive would shout out to those present, when engaged telepathically a person is psychically naked.

Kr’T’s physical death caused a brilliant psychic burst as he first smashed against a collection plate, was squeezed, crushed, burned and almost instantly atomized, leaving his psyche baseless, foundationless, adrift and slowly dispersing. Unless he could find a friendly host or hosts to join with, he would pass into oblivion, a fate akin to Hell.

What Ln’Da, Sa’To and Su’Zi, attempted was a spontaneous, unrehearsed retirement ceremony at a great distance, in a bid to save some portion of Kr’T’s psyche and prevent the mortal sin (in Dadr’Ba society) of Kr’T’s passing into oblivion.

Psychic energy like any form of energy has a place, a time, a direction and a magnitude, but it is impossible to tell if psychic energy has momentum. Once foundationless, no one knows if a psyche would get quickly left behind. Since the ship is traveling three thousand kilometers per second, a momentum-less psyche would almost instantly be left behind and lost forever.

Retirement ceremonies are planned far in advance and conducted in a slow coordinated, synchronized way so that everything that happens is known. Yet this didn’t stop Ln’Da, Sa’To and Su’Zi from trying. They thought for a brief moment that they found him, but it turned out to be someone else with a similar pattern to Kr’T, and who at the same time they tried to make their presence known seemed to flee in pain and terror. They realize to their dismay that they stumbled on a birthing, and their searching probes may have caused a premature birth or mental damage to the child even producing a stillbirth.

With the shock and dismay about what their frantic search may have caused still echoing the psyche-sphere around them, helpless to do anything about the damaged birth, they turn the quest outside the ship as a last resort, attempting to find Kr’T adrift in interstellar space.

It’s a slim, desperate hope, interstellar space is second only in its hostility to intergalactic space, it’s a cruel acidic environment that continuously strives to shred whatever ventures into it, of its very existence.

Now Ln’Da, Sa’To and Su’Zi, have to deal with the reality that for whatever reason, be it consumed in fusion fire, cast adrift and left behind, or evaporating under the forces of the nothingness of interstellar space. Kr’T was gone, the worst fate possible for a Dadr’Ba crew member, is to be wasted… on a starship where nothing is wasted.