Cutler 1 - Dawn (27 page)

"I'll tell the relatives that Momma and Daddy are both dead. They don't have to know all the ugly details, and try to start a new life," Jimmy said with a far-off look in his eyes.

"I hate thinking about you being in a new life without me, Jimmy."

He smiled the soft and gentle smile I recalled so fondly.

"Let's just lie here together one more time like we used to be together," he said. "And you talk me to sleep like you always did by telling me about all the good things we're going to have someday." He shifted over to make room for me.

I lowered myself beside him, resting my head against his arm and closed my eyes. For a moment I threw myself back through time, and we were lying together on one of our poor pull-out beds in one of our run-down apartments. Rain pounded the dilapidated building, and the wind scratched at the windows, threatening to poke them in.

But Jimmy and I cuddled together, taking solace in the warmth and closeness of our bodies. We closed our eyes, and I began to spin the rainbows. I did it now.

"We will have good things happen to us, Jimmy. We've been through a storm of trouble, but after every story, the clouds part and the sun returns with its warmth and its promise.

"You'll go off and find Momma's relatives like you planned, and they'll welcome you with open arms. You'll meet uncles and aunts and cousins.

"And maybe they're not as bad off as we always thought. Maybe they got a good farm. And you're a strong, willing worker, Jimmy, so you'll be a great help to them. Before you know it, the farm will become something special, and people from all around will ask: Who's that new young man who came to help and made your farm so good?

"But you'll have to promise to write to me and . . ."

I turned to him. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing softly. How tired he had been. He must have walked miles and miles and been in the rain for the longest time, suffering just to get down here to see me one more time.

I leaned over and pressed my lips to his warm cheek.

"Good night, Jimmy," I whispered as I had done so many nights before. I hated to leave him all alone in so strange a place, but from what he had described to me, he had been in more horrible places.

I paused in the doorway and looked back. It did seem more like a dream to see Jimmy lying there. It was almost like a wish come true. I slipped out of the hideaway and up the stairs, checking carefully to be sure to one was looking my way. It looked all clear so I made my way around the building. Just as I entered and started down the corridor, I saw the door to my room open, and Clara Sue stepped out.

"What are you doing in there?" I demanded, approaching quickly.

She looked flustered for a moment and then smiled. "Grandmother sent me to unlock your door," she said. "Who did it?"

"I don't know," I said quickly. She smirked.

"If I find out and tell Grandmother, she'll fire her."

"I don't know who did it," I repeated. "I shouldn't have been locked in there anyway."

She shrugged.

"If you weren't such a brat, Grandmother wouldn't have to do these things," she said and hurried off. I thought she was in quite a rush to get away from me. After I watched her go, I went into my room.

I got undressed, put on my robe, and went to the bathroom. I really was very tired and looked forward to crawling under the covers. But when I returned and pulled back my blanket to slip in and under, I discovered what Clara Sue had been doing in my room. It was as if I had been made to swallow a glassful of ice water. It sent a painful shiver through my heart.

There on my sheet was a gold necklace with rubies and diamonds. Clara Sue had taken it out of Mrs. Clairmont's room and placed it here so I would be blamed. Now what would I do? If I returned it, everyone was sure to think I had stolen it originally and my grandmother had frightened me into returning it. No one would believe Clara Sue had done this, I thought.

The sound of footsteps drove me into a panic. What if she had gone and told Mr. Hornbeck she had seen me with the necklace and was returning with my grandmother? I looked about frantically for a place to hide it and realized that this was just what Clara Sue would want me to do. They would search again and find it hidden and be convinced I had stolen it.

I froze, unable to decide on anything. Fortunately, the sound of the footsteps died away. I let out my breath and scooped up the necklace. It felt hot and forbidding in my hands. I had the urge to open the window and heave it out into the night, but then, what would happen if someone found it the next morning near my window?

Should I take it to my father? My mother? Maybe I should find Philip and give it to him. He would certainly believe me when I told him what Clara Sue had done, I thought, but merely walking through the hotel with it in my possession frightened me. I could be stopped if Clara Sue had gone to tell someone.

It should be returned to Mrs. Clairmont somehow, I thought. Perhaps it was a very precious, meaningful piece of jewelry for her, a necklace with special memories. Why should she suffer just because Clara Sue was so jealous and spiteful?

I decided to get dressed and take a chance of carrying it through the hotel. I slipped it into my uniform pocket and hurried out. It wasn't that late. Guests were enjoying the grounds, playing cards, visiting in the lobby, some listening to a string quartet in the music suite. There was a good chance Mrs. Clairmont wasn't in her room, I thought. I went directly to the linen closet and got the master key for the section Sissy and I worked in. Then I hurried to the corridor.

My heart was pounding so hard, I was sure would faint just after entering Mrs. Clairmont's room. I envisioned them finding me on the floor with the necklace in my palm. I brushed the sweat off my forehead and walked quickly to her door. Fortunately, there was no one around. I knocked and waited. If she were in there, I thought I would pretend I had knocked on the wrong door. No one answered, so I slipped the master key into the lock and turned. The small clicking sound never seemed so loud. In my mind I thought it had echoed throughout the hotel and was surely going to bring people running.

I waited, listening. It was quiet and dark within. I didn't want to take any more chances than I had to, so I simply leaned in and tossed the necklace at the dresser. I heard it land safely, and then I quickly closed the door and locked it, my fingers trembling so badly as I did so, I had to do it twice.

Just as I turned and started down the corridor, I heard voices. Terrified of being discovered on the floor, I spun around and headed in the opposite direction, never looking back to see who it was. I rushed away, but this path took me back into the lobby of the hotel.

It took my father three times to call "Eugenia" before I realized he was calling me. I stopped midway across the lobby and turned to see him beckoning. Had Clara Sue reported seeing me with the necklace? I approached him slowly.

"I was just on my way to see you," he said. "I wanted to be sure Clara Sue went directly to your room with the key and unlocked your door."

"There was a key in the door," I said pointedly.

"There was? I didn't see it. Well," he said, smiling quickly, "at least that unpleasantness is all over. You'll be happy to know your grandmother likes our little compromise," he added, smiling. And then he reached into his jacket pocket and produced my hateful nameplate. I stared down at it.

It hadn't looked as large when my grandmother first showed it to me. It wouldn't have surprised me to learn that she had had it redone so she could make it bigger. It would be her way of showing me that she always got her way and if I challenged her, I would only suffer more for it.

I plucked it out of his palm slowly. It felt like a small block of ice in my hands.

"You want me to pin it on for you?" he asked when I hesitated.

"No, thank you. I can do it myself." I did so quickly.

"And that's that," he said beaming. "Well, I've got to get back to work. See you tomorrow. Have a good night's sleep," he said and left me standing there, feeling as if I had just been branded.

But it didn't bother me as much as it ordinarily might have. Just knowing that Jimmy was close by brought me comfort. In the morning right after I had done my work, I would go to him and we would talk and spend almost the whole day together. Of course, I would have to show myself around the hotel every once in a while so no one would come looking for me.

For the first night since I had arrived at Cutler's Cove, I went to sleep easily and looked forward eagerly to the once familiar sunrise.

The next morning Grandmother Cutler made an appearance in the kitchen while the staff was having its breakfast. She greeted everyone as she crossed the room to come toward the table I was at. After she reached us, she paused to be sure I was wearing her precious nameplate. When she saw it pinned on my uniform, she pulled herself up and her eyes twinkled with satisfaction.

I didn't dare look defiant or upset. If she confined me to my room again, I wouldn't be able to see Jimmy, or if I snuck out against her wishes, I might cause him to be discovered. I went on with Sissy, and we did our assignments. I worked so hard and fast that even Sissy remarked about it. As I came out of my last room, I found Grandmother Cutler waiting. Oh, no, thought, she is going to give me another assignment, and I won't be able to go to Jimmy. I held my breath.

"Apparently, Mrs. Clairmont's necklace has miraculously turned up," she said, her metallic eyes glued to me.

"I never took it," I said firmly.

"I hope nothing is ever taken from here again," she retorted and continued down the corridor, her shoes clicking.

I didn't return to my room to change out of my uniform. Taking great care, I made my way out the back of the hotel and scurried around to Philip's hideaway.

It was such a bright warm summer's day, I wished I could take Jimmy out of the dark basement room and walk with him through the gardens with their rainbow colors of flowers and sparkling fountains. He had looked so pale and tired to me the night before. He needed to be in the warm sunlight. Bright sunshine on my face always cheered me, no matter how hard and troubled the day was.

Just as I reached the cement stairway, I saw some guests standing and talking nearby, so I waited for them to wander off before descending. When I opened the door and slipped in, I found Jimmy well rested and eagerly waiting for me. He was sitting on the bunk bed and beamed a wide, happy smile.

"Philip was already here with some breakfast, and he gave me twenty dollars for my trip to Georgia," he told me and then sat back and laughed.

"What?"

"You look funny in that uniform and bandanna. Your nameplate looks like a medal your grandmother pinned on you."

"I'm glad you like it," I said. "I hate it," I added and shook my hair loose as soon as I pulled of the bandanna. "Did you sleep all right?"

"I don't even remember your leaving, and when I woke up this morning, I forgot where I was for a moment. Then I fell asleep again. Why did you sneak away?"

"You fell asleep pretty quickly, so I decided to let you get your rest."

"I didn't wake up again this morning until Philip arrived. That's how tired I was. I'd been traveling all day and all night for two days. I slept on the side of the road for a couple of hours night before last," he admitted.

"Oh, Jimmy, you could have been hurt."

"I didn't care," he said. "I was determined to get here. So what does a chambermaid do? Tell me about this hotel. I didn't see much of it last night. Is it a nice place?"

I described my work to him and the layout of the hotel. I went on to tell him about some of the staff, especially Mrs. Boston and Sissy, but he was mostly interested in my mother and father.

"What's exactly wrong with her?"

"I don't know for sure, Jimmy. She doesn't look sick. Most of the time she looks beautiful, even when she's in bed with her headaches. My father treats her like a fragile little doll."

"And so your grandmother really runs the hotel?"

"Yes. Everyone is afraid of her, but they're afraid to say anything bad about her even to each other. Mrs. Boston says she's tough but fair. I don't think she's been very fair to me," I said sadly. I told him about the memorial stone. He listened wide-eyed as I described what I knew of my symbolic funeral.

"But how do you know the stone's still there?" he asked.

"It was as of the time I arrived. No one's told me otherwise."

"They wouldn't. They'd just remove it, I'm sure." He sat back on the bed with his shoulders against the wall and looked thoughtful.

"It took a lot of nerve for Daddy to steal a baby right out from under the nurse's eyes," he said.

"That's what I thought," I said, happy he found trouble believing it, too.

"Of course, he might have been drinking—"

"Then he wouldn't have been as careful, and he would surely have been heard."

Jimmy nodded.

"You don't believe he would do such a thing, either, do you, Jimmy? Not deep down in your heart."

"He confessed. They had him cold, Dawn. And he didn't try to deny it to us." He lowered his eyes sadly. "I guess I should be getting on my way."

My heart stopped, my thoughts taking frantic flight, wanting to go off with Jimmy and escape this prison. I felt trapped and needed to seek out the wind so it could fan my hair and sting my skin and make me feel free and alive again.

"But, Jimmy, you were going to stay here a few days and rest up."

"I'll just get caught here and make trouble for you and Philip."

"No, you won't!" I cried. "I don't want you to go yet, Jimmy. Please stay." He lifted his eyes to gaze into mine. Swelling up in both of us was a turmoil of whirling emotions.

"Sometimes," Jimmy said in the softest, warmest voice I ever heard him speak, "I used to wish you weren't my sister."

"Why?" I said and held my breath.

"I . . . thought you were so pretty, I wished you could be my girlfriend," he confessed. "You were always after me to choose this friend of yours or that to be my girlfriend, but I didn't want anybody else but you." He looked away. "That's why I was so jealous and angry when you started getting interested in Philip."