Crushing Desire (5 page)

“You must make them wait, Reena.” She dabbed the
liquid behind each ear in turn. “The anticipation is half the battle.”

“I suppose,” Reena replied, fighting a smile. The girls from her school had so many rules that she found to be silly, but she couldn’t begrudge them when they were fighting off more suitors than they could count.

“It makes you appear more mysterious. Makes them wonder what you spend all your time doing.” Lily placed the stopper back in the bottle.

Reena skimmed her reflection in the mirror. She still couldn’t believe that she had agreed to wear the chemise dress for the evening, even though Mrs. Whitmore had agreed to double the cloth at the bust to ensure it held her firmly. Reena had to admit that this new style was a charming change from the unwieldy hoops that some of the women still wore. The striking outfit was gathered high around her neck, and without her stays, her bust came across as quite bulky. The creamy folds of the dress were gathered by a thick expanse of ribbon wrapped around her waist, and from there, flowed down to sweep along the floor. Reena peeked in the mirror at the petite, pale beauty of her friend. Her lip found its way between her teeth. She appeared to be a mythical giant standing next to Lily.

“I just know that he will propose tonight,” Lily continued some statement that Reena hadn’t heard.

“How exciting,” Reena said with a shake of her head, trying to clear her thoughts and focus on her friend.

“So, do you suppose you’ll receive a proposal tonight?” Lily smoothed a charming ringlet near her face.

Lily kept telling her that at any moment, one of Reena’s suitors would propose, and she would settle down into a world of finery and bliss. Reena bit her tongue and tucked a soft curl behind her ear.

“I think Dan. Could you even imagine, Reena? You would be a duchess.” Lily cooed at the thought and jumped a bit, clapping her hands. “How divine that would be. If not, then I have no doubt Michael will. He’s quite handsome and so romantic.” Lily pressed her dress with delicate fingers, watching herself in the mirror. Her eyes lost their focus as she continued, “Oh how magnificent it will be for you Reena. Even just to dance with him. What a lovely, lovely thought.”

Reena liked Lily; she was sweet, but a bit deluded. She thought that life would end happily for everyone. Reena wanted Joshua, but he paid her no more than sociable attention, despite the occasional unusual look or stare. He hadn’t even showed interest in courting her. How would that ever end happily?

“Perhaps,” Reena whispered.

Lily, the younger of the two girls, moved to Reena’s side. She popped the curl from behind Reena’s ear and smoothed it back into place.

“Or perhaps that nice Mr. Sinclair will dance with you tonight.” She looked up into Reena’s eyes as she spoke. “He seems very kind, and he’s quite a good-looking man as well.” Lily studied Reena for another moment before changing the subject. “So…” She turned, clapping her hands. “Who shall go first tonight?”

Reena grinned. One of the rules was that a woman must arrive at a ball in such a manner that she will have all the attention. Lily always insisted they enter alone. She decided which of them should go in first and which would be the last to join the festivities. Those, she said, were the vital entries, because they got the most attention.

“You should go first. After all, you are the one who is certain to get a proposal tonight.” Reena fingered the ribbon on her waist.

“Very well then, I shall go first. Reena you must enter last. You look too stunning tonight to be allowed in before even the very last guest arrives.” Lily faced her, eyes shining. “Yes, you must promise to wait at least a half hour, so you will be the last and most eye-catching woman of the evening. You’ll make a most dramatic entrance and ensure that your suitors will be clamoring for your hand.”

Lily took one last glance at herself in the large mirror, patting her hair. “Remember now, be charming, smile a lot”—she paused at the threshold—”and one hard kick to the shin will stop even the most ardent of advances.” She winked as she stepped into the hall, leaving Reena alone.

9

Joshua stood at the bottom of the large stairwell with the other partygoers as the last of the guests arrived. The opulence of the wealthy family could easily be seen in every nook and cranny of the grand ballroom. High ceilings hand-painted with golden hues displayed round faced cherubs in each corner. Large draperies of the finest materials covered the walls. The servants had polished everything that could be polished until the entire room seemed to sparkle and smell faintly of wax.

“As a war hero, I’m sure you understand how I feel, Sinclair.” The Earl of Gloucester waved his hands at Joshua as he spoke. “It’s an outrage.”

“Not everyone feels that way—”

“Bloody Colonials don’t know what’s good for them.” The Earl let out a great puff of wind, and his wig tilted gauntly on his head. “Leaving King and country! It’s nothing short of blasphemy.” The Earl shook his fist in conclusion, rotund belly shaking with the jarring movement.

“Well, I learned a lot about them when I fought in the war. I was taken in and healed by a family when I was wounded. They were like any other family. Besides, there are stands that a man must make in his life, and for the Colonials, this was the best way to stand up for their beliefs. I respect them for it, simply because I would do the same were the tables turned.”

The Earl choked, turning red. “See here!”

A name drew his attention toward the grand staircase.

“If you will excuse me, I must see to something rather important.” Ignoring the protests from the Earl, Joshua fixed his gaze on the top of the stairs. The cacophonous noise seemed to fade into the background as Reena stepped to the top of the stairs. Her golden hair was twisted up into a charming curled concoction atop her head. Several curls and tendrils hung around her face, framing its loveliness. A gentle blush to her cheeks made her glow as she gently bit her full bottom lip, drawing attention to its luscious curve.

Her hands moved up to her neckline, hovering there for a moment then dropped to her sides again. She surveyed the room and then started down the steps. The draping folds of the new fashion caressed her body as she walked, hugging her full curves. Glancing about the room, he noted a number of men watching her every move while she descended the staircase. Joshua took a step, and then halted, fisting his hands.

He could still remember the striking young girl he’d first met. He’d been fascinated by her unusual attire. She’d been so far grown that her childish dress had called to mind a doll he’d once seen a small girl carrying.

She looked so lovely now, nothing at all similar to the doll, and he could not deny, no longer like the child he’d convinced himself for so long that she was. He didn’t realize that he had moved to the bottom of the stairs until a young girl, who was now standing next to him, spoke by all appearances to herself.

“She is stunning tonight. Any man should be lucky to sign her dance card.”

Joshua’s gaze flicked toward the small blonde and nodded politely before alighting again on Reena who now stood in front of him.

“You are exceptionally beautiful this evening.”

Her face brightened, and it stole his breath.

“Perhaps I might have a dance later,” he suggested and bowed over her hand.

“Certainly, Mr. Sinclair.” She plucked the dance card from her sleeve. “I have already promised the first dance to Monsieur Dubois, but the second is available.”

Joshua nodded, wishing he’d had the forethought to have asked her to save the first dance for him weeks ago. He watched the graceful sway of her hips as she moved away from the staircase. Her generous curves, so apparent in her new dress, drew his attention. He clenched his jaw, forcing his stare away as his mind filled with inappropriate images. His insides knotted. She’s too young, he rebuked himself.

Only five years younger than you.

She is the niece of a business partner.

You’re business partner never expressed the wish that you stay away from her.

He gritted his teeth. And what of Juliet?

Juliet found Reena charming, and she would want you to be happy.

He glanced at the cherubs for strength before moving to Reena’s side.

“Shall I escort you in to dinner?” At her nod, he took her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm. “Where is Emily this evening? I do on so few occasions see you at a function without her. I admit, I’m surprised at her absence.”

Reena lifted her chin toward the opposite side of the ballroom. Emily stood with the young blonde from the staircase, their heads together, watching him. When his gaze met theirs, they looked away with all haste.

“She and Lily insisted that I must spend the evening rummaging through partners. Their words.” Reena’s laughter rang out like music in the large space of the ballroom.

An older woman glowered in their direction at the volume of the laugh. Reena, it seemed, was off from society in a great many areas. He noticed she displayed knowledge and read novels that were deemed indecorous for a lady, and one could not help but be aware of her height. Perhaps her laugh was a bit louder than was the thing, but he never cared what the thing was. He led Reena into the dining room, ignoring the woman’s glare.

“Have you received any letters from home of late?”

“No,” she replied, “but I know that one is soon to come. It’s been far too long since the last.”

“So, what have you been reading lately?” He was ever curious to see what she read. From his previous visits, he’d noted that her taste in reading material was impeccable, and with her uncle’s business ventures, she had ready access to a great number of books.

She ran a hand over her skirt as she sat in the intricately carved chair that he’d pulled out for her. Sliding her napkin from the table, she studied the delicate embroidered edge. “Oh, nothing. Just some nonsense.”

He sat beside her, leaning in to whisper near her ear. “Come now, you can do better than that.” A flowery scent wafted to his nose, and he closed his eyes, breathing deep.

“Oh, all right,” her voice waivered as she spoke. “It was Don Quixote.”

His eyebrows shot up, and he twisted in his chair to face her.

“I’m not a bluestocking or anything,” she added quickly. “It’s… Well, I enjoy the tales. I can be who I want and do what I may never be able to in this life.”

The servants came and placed two delicate bowls before them. The scent of herbs rose from the table as the overly decorous servant filled their bowls with the steaming liquid. Joshua waited for him to leave before he revisited their conversation.

He leaned his head toward her, smiling as he teased, “I’m glad I finally got you to admit your true nature.” When his gaze slid to her, however, his smile faltered. Her rounded lips were parted, and her eyes were wide. “Oh, I’m only teasing you. I think it’s marvelous that you read. Who wants a simpering fool that merely wishes to talk of embroidery and the marriage market…?”

Tugging at the unexpectedly rigid collar of his shirt, he ran his hand over his jabot, smoothing it. He cleared his throat and began again, “Have you finished it?”

Her fingers caressed her spoon for a moment, her gaze not leaving the contents of the bowl. “Yes, just this morning.”

“A wonderful tale, isn’t it? Full of adventures. I very much enjoyed the attack on the giants.”

“I loved that. He was so chivalrous.” Her head popped up, and the light came back to her eyes as he took a sip of wine from the glass before him. “I did find something dreadfully sad about the destruction of his library, though. It seemed unfair. I know that his friends worried for him, but he was no more than a man trying to recapture his youth.”

Another man who’d wasted his youth
.

Her words called Howard’s long forgotten comments to the forefront of Joshua’s mind: “
Oh, I had the opportunity. One very sweet and beautiful woman. Married now. I never let myself stop grieving, even when Evelyn would have wanted it.”
The words struck a chord in Joshua, and the sweet wine in his mouth turned sour.

Chapter Five

Joshua released Reena’s arm when they entered the ballroom. Reena’s dance card was tucked into her sleeve to indicate that it was full, so they continued debating the finer points of Don Quixote.

She was delightful in her excitement. Reena faced him, head tilted, eyebrows raised, and mouth open a bit wider than society deemed acceptable for a young lady. “Yes, well I’m sure you can see that Sancho—”

“I believe that I have the first dance of the evening,” Martin’s voice broke into the conversation. Narrowing his eyes at Joshua, he bowed over her hand.

Her mouth snapped shut. “Of course.” She stared demurely at the floor. “You will excuse me, Mr. Sinclair?”

Nodding, he ignored the odd sense of longing that came over him. She moved to the dance floor as though floating on clouds, glancing once over her shoulder to where he stood. Her nose wrinkled, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. When they reached the dance floor, he stalked the room to improve his view of her while she danced. She took her place across from the unscrupulous man. His jaw ticked. He should have asked for the first dance weeks ago. Should have asked her to dance with him exclusively to keep her away from Martin Dubois and his brothers.