Crushed (Rushed #2) (7 page)

I felt like a jerk. I shrugged, even though we weren't on Facetime or Skyping and she couldn't see me. Which was intentional on my part. "I'll damn well try. But it's a small class. And we have share time, you know, to get our demons out."

"No! That's awful," she said. "What did you share?"

"As little as possible. That's my plan going forward." I changed the subject. "I talked to Zach. He said you visited him."

She paused for so long, I wondered what I'd done wrong. Jordan and I had known each other long enough to sense each other's moods.

"Yeah," she said at last.

"How is he? Really. He says he's doing better—"

"He is!" Too exuberant. Like she was covering for something. "He looks almost like his old self."

I had to tease her. We'd all gone to high school together. Zach had been Mr. Popular. All the girls drooled over him. "Does that mean he's not as hot as he used to be?"

She laughed, but it sounded nervous and forced. "Dream on! He's hotter. Girls love a guy they can nurse."

"Shit." I laughed, too. "Guess I'll always be number two."

"Not with me, Dak." She sounded fierce again. "Never with me. You're always number one.
Way
hotter than he is."

It was like she was over stroking my male ego. Yeah, I knew girls sometimes thought us guys were fragile, but seriously? Something was off. Maybe my own guilty conscience was simply projecting. Maybe she was picking up the awkward vibes between us. Neither of us seemed to be into it tonight. Maybe we were both just tired.

"IloveyouDakota." She spoke quickly, slurring the words together.

It took me a sec to understand what she'd said. I knew the expected response. But I hesitated an instant too long, nearly tripping over the words. "Love you too."

She picked up on my reticence. "Is something wrong?"
 

Everything
, I thought, pissed at myself for letting Morgan insinuate herself into my heart. I'd tossed Jordan aside for her once. My mistake. I wouldn't make it again. "No, just tired." My determination showed through as fierceness.

"Yeah." She let out a sigh. "Me too." Another awkward pause. "Call me after class tomorrow."

"Absolutely."

I was up and out of the house the next morning before any of the girls sleeping over left blurry-eyed for home in their shacker shirts. The place was trashed and littered with empties. Chips and popcorn crunched beneath my feet. The house smelled like the morning after. The pledges were going to have a fun time cleaning up today.

I left early enough to stop by The College Grind for a coffee to go. Even though the last thing I needed was caffeine. I was jittery enough and wide awake with the thought of seeing Morgan. Shit. On impulse, I grabbed a mocha for Morgan, too. Made just the way she liked it. Like ADIS was a date and I was trying to impress her.

It was cloudy and cold. A few flakes of snow were flying as I walked up Greek Row to the Delta Delta Psi house. Morgan was waiting for me on the steps of her house, dressed in skinny jeans and boots, and just a hint of makeup where yesterday she'd worn none. Not enough to look overdone. But enough to make me wonder if she'd fixed up for me. My heart skipped a beat at the thought. It was a damn traitor.
 

Her hair was curled and fell loose around her shoulders. She looked like the gorgeous freshman that had first stolen my heart. She spotted me and waved. As she bounced down the steps and came down the walkway toward me, I felt like that naïve guy just out of high school.

As she reached me, the breeze blew a strand of hair in her face where it stuck in her pale pink lip-gloss. She frowned as she pulled it free. "Stupid wind."

All I could think about was kissing her. Yeah, that was stupid shit. I handed her a cup of coffee. "The wind has a bite this morning."

She gave me a wondering look. "For me?"

"No, I'm handing you my second cup to carry for me. I don't want to look like a two-fisted coffee drinker. That's just sad." I shook my head.
 

"I deserved that." She sighed. "Crap, it's early. I could barely get moving this morning, and I went to bed early."
 

Our eyes met.

"You're not trying to sober me up? Just in case I've been secretly drinking in my room?" She sounded half serious.

"Shit, Morgs." I started walking. "Even you aren't that stupid."

"Even me?"

I grinned and kept walking. "That's what I said."

She came to a dead stop. "You think I'm a drunk?"

I stopped and stared at her. "I think you drink too fucking much." I hesitated. "There's having fun and there's being stupid. You drink for the wrong reasons."

Her eyes narrowed. "Shut up. Look who's talking."

"You asked," I said, holding her gaze. "All I'm saying is you don't need a buzz to be fun to hang with."

For a second I thought she was going to thrust the coffee back at me. Or throw it in my face. But the last part of what I said had stopped her short.
 

She looked at me like she was trying to see if I was playing her. I wasn't.
 

She stuck out her free arm and held out her hand. "See any trembling?"

Her hand was steady. On impulse, I grabbed it and stroked her palm with my thumb. Her eyes went wide, like I'd startled her.

"No tremors. Very good, Morgs. Feel nauseous? Anxious? Are you sweating?" I grinned at her, but I was half serious, too.

She pulled her hand free from mine, clasped it with the other one around her warm cup, and laughed. "Can it, smartass. So you paid attention in class. Stop showing off. This isn't ADIS. Save it for the day ahead. I'm not talking about it anymore." She started walking again. "We'll miss the bus."
 

I got in step with her.

She took a sip of her mocha and sighed happily. "Perfect! Just the way I like it." She glanced at me again. "Skinny?"

I nodded. "Of course. No whip, too. Not that
I
think you're fat. A shot of hazelnut, sugar free."

Her glance turned into a stare. "How did you know what I like?"

"I remembered." Maybe she'd forgotten, but I'd taken her for coffee in those heady early days of our freshman year.

Her face softened. She looked touched that I remembered. And puzzled by me. Like she expected me to be a jerk.
 

I turned straight ahead to avoid giving myself away. "Shit. There comes the bus. We'd better run or we'll miss it." I grabbed her hand and pulled her with me.

Morgan

I didn't tell Dakota, but I
was
a little nauseous. And super tired, like dead tired. It was early, but still. Was I worried? Maybe, but not about being an alcoholic. More about coming down with mono. That was the last thing I needed. As if I had time to slow down.

I'd woken with a headache. I hoped it was a caffeine headache. Even though the coffee didn't taste as good as usual, and made me a bit gaggy, I drank the whole cup.
 

A lot of things made me gag now. Some of them made perfect sense. Like I couldn't stand the sight or smell of orange juice after drinking too many screwdrivers the night Dak nearly ran over me. Though the smell of vodka, such as it was, was fine. Other things that smelled off made no sense at all.
 

By the time we got in our circle to discuss where we each were on the road to alcohol dependence, the headache had faded. So maybe it wasn't mono. Maybe I was just a hypochondriac.

We went around the circle, each talking about whether we were alcohol dependent or not. Whether we had any, or all, of the four symptoms—craving, tolerance, impaired control, and dependence.
 

Larry listened and asked questions. "Mr. Bradley, your turn."

Dak shrugged. "I'm not alcohol dependent. I drink to have fun. I can shut it off."

"That's why you ended up running over your best friend?" Larry's tone was gentle and probing, not judgmental.

Dak actually grinned. "I didn't say I had good judgment when I was drunk."

That got a few laughs. I had to stifle one myself. I admired his guts.

"I'm here to teach you to make good decisions."
 

And decide whether we need further rehabilitation
, I thought.

Larry was studying Dakota. "Let's talk about the night you got your MIP. Why didn't you shut it off that night?"

"Morgan told you last night. Our houses were partying after winning the powder puff football game."

"Do you usually drink and drive after a party?" Larry said.

Dak let out a sigh, like what kind of a dumbass question was that? "Shit. No. I'm always totally responsible."
 

"Mr. Bradley, may I remind you I hold the power over whether you pass this course."

Dak rolled his eyes. "There were extenuating circumstances, okay? Seriously, I don't usually drink and drive. That night I just had to get away from the frat." His Adam's apple bobbed. He shot a quick glance at me. "When I started drinking earlier, it was cool. Everything was fine. I drank just enough to have fun.

"Then one of the Double Deltsie pledges drank too much." Dak glanced at me. "Morgan asked me to help her take the pledge home. So I did." His eyes grew hard. "When we took her to her room at the sorority, I caught Zach in bed with my girl. I raced out of there before I did something really stupid. Morgan followed me.
 

"We ended up at the frat together. Morgan was consoling me. That's when the drinking crossed the line. I got hammered and so did Morgan.

"News got around. Morgan left. The guys were ribbing me. I had to escape. I didn't think. Just grabbed my keys and a few buddies and headed out. It was a crime of passion, so to speak.

"I didn't see Morgan behind the car. You'd understand how I missed seeing her if you saw where and how I was parked. A sober person could have missed her.

"Zach was walking by, saw her, and jumped to her rescue. That's Zach all over. Always the hero." He sounded sarcastic and unhappy about Zach the hero. "I pulled out and backed over him. Not on purpose. I couldn't tell it was him." Dak's voice was soft, like it pained him to talk about it. He took a deep breath. "That's it. That's what happened. It wasn't your usual set of circumstances."

He took another deep breath. "I was furious. Zach always got the girl I wanted." He glanced at me. "I was fucking tired of coming in second."

It was so quick, I nearly missed it. But I was sure he had given me a look. My heart pounded like crazy. He was talking about Alexis. And
me
.

"It's not like it's going to happen again." He shook his head and laughed. "I
hope
." He somehow managed to grin.

But it wasn't funny.

"Dakota's right."

The class turned their attention from Dakota to me. I didn't know what made me speak up. It was like I wanted to protect him.

"It happened just like Dakota said. Neither of us had crossed the line until we walked in on Zach and Alexis." I swallowed hard. "It won't happen again. Zach is never going to leave Alexis."
 

Dakota reached over, clasped my hand, and squeezed it. I squeezed back, surprisingly touched. My hand felt good in his. I felt—stupidly, maybe—protected and comforted.

"You drink to numb pain?" Larry said.

If I had liked Larry at first, I hated him now. I wanted to scream at him to leave Dakota alone. I squeezed Dakota's hand tighter.

"No," Dakota said. "I drank to show I didn't care."

Chapter Six

Morgan

Dak and I walked down the street to a local café for lunch, talking about nothing, really. The air had gotten colder. It looked and smelled like snow, which would make walking up the hill to campus treacherous. I had this insane desire to grab Dakota's hand and walk hand in hand down the street with him. Crazy. We were, like, frenemies at best.

Inside the café, we found a table and ordered. We were munching sandwiches before I finally found the courage to thank him for his chivalry. "You made me sound almost angelic in ADIS this morning. Thanks for not sharing my not-so-secret crush-on-Zach crap with the class."