Crown's Chance at Love (8 page)

“Oh. Nothing, I was just going to see if maybe we could hang out.” He asks a little coldly. Throughout the past couple of days I have noticed he tends to do this, but almost as if he turns cold when he shies away or gets nervous only to warm up a little bit after.

“Would you like to come over? Nothing fancy, I’ll probably just make spaghetti and meatballs, maybe go out for ice cream.” I ask nervously.

“You sure? I meant won’t the kids be there?” he asks trying to hide his nervous tone.

“Yeah. I do have male friends Mike,” I say smiling, “plus you met Mark the other day, they can tell you about the mud run we did last year, you can hear a little more about why my idea is awesome.” To this he chuckles, then he gets quiet clearing his throat which shocks me.

“Is that what we are doing here Sabrina, being friends?” I freeze when his words hit my mind. Is that what this is? I talked to Nick quite a bit, maybe not as much as I have with Mike the last couple of nights, but I did. But did I flirt with Nick? No, that was almost gross, because I only saw Nick as a friend, almost like a brother. God who was I kidding? I knew that wasn’t what I wanted from Mike. I mean at some point friends would be nice, but something about him, threw me for a loop. Made me want him, want things that had been dormant for so long.

Every lunch date we had been on had been nice. Sweet. I smile thinking about how excited I was every time we said goodbye and he would kiss my cheek goodbye. How his arms would hold on to me a little longer every time, and how much I liked him holding me close. He hadn’t tried to kiss me yet so that’s the part that always left me a little confused.

“I… I umm, I’m not really sure Mike.” I say stumbling over my own words. I had been gone from the dating game for so long I didn’t know how to play it, and honestly at thirty-six, juggling three active kids and a busy flourishing career, I was too tired to try to play games, so I decided to lay my cards on the table and be completely honest. Staring towards the living room to make sure the kids weren’t up, I walked to the kitchen and went through the double French doors that led to the backyard. “I have to be honest Mike,” I start.

“Okay.” He says hesitantly.

“I was never very good at this,”

“This?” he asks almost sounding amused.

“The whole dating-game playing thing, I wasn’t good at it at twenty-two much less at thirty-six after having taken a fourteen year break.”

“Okay.” He says cautiously.

“So here goes. I like you. I think you’re interesting and funny in a dry witty way, when you laugh it does things to me that shouldn’t be allowed, plus you aren’t tough on the eyes.” I say trying to lighten the mood and stop myself from making a complete idiot out of myself. “You are really nice, and to be honest sometimes I catch myself thinking about you. I liked meeting up for lunch this week. I liked looking at my phone and reading that you were calling or reading a simple good morning text from you.

“I’d like to get to know you, hang out. With that said, I am also a single mom. Yes I have a great support system, my friends and family are beyond amazing, but Sundays are usually my only complete day all week to spend with my kids. I know it might be weird but dinner might be nice to just hangout. There’s no pressure, no strings, just extremely casual early homemade Sunday dinner maybe go out for some ice cream afterwards. I’ll introduce you to them as if you are a potential client, a friend. They have met my friends and my clients before. It wouldn’t be more than just that to them. It’s better for you to see what being with me in my life entails now, rather than later when emotions or sex cloud our judgment of what we can put up with and what we can’t.”

“Sex?” his voice sounds strained and I giggle nervously. GOD I am a nerd. I don’t even know what I am saying, my face heating up, I cover my face with my hand.

“I mean like later if we were to… you know? Take this further…” He stays quiet and I just want a dark hole to swallow me up so I can disappear.
What if he isn’t even interested?
I mean he dates freaking models, what the hell is he doing with me? His silence makes me nervous.

“Or maybe I totally misread this…” I mumble closing my eyes tilting my head back on the chair.

“No you didn’t.” His voice deep answers quickly, “I guess I’m not use to a girl like you.”
Like me
? What did that mean? Plain? Not his usual cup of tea? Not a freaking model?!

“Oh, ummm, what does that mean?” I ask trying not to sound miffed.

“A woman who doesn’t play games… it’s refreshing. I like you Sabrina, more than I probably should.” The way that he says it makes me almost think that he doesn’t want to like me. “You invade my thoughts too. This week, seeing you every day was pretty great, it was truly the highlight of my week, and yesterday not seeing you, it sucked babe.” His voice is deep and rich and I melt a little, just kidding I melt like a lot hearing his deep voice call me
babe
and having him admit he had missed me. “I’ve wanted to ask you out for dinner all week and I couldn’t.”

“Why?” I whisper, almost in surprise. Mike wasn’t a wallflower or a shy man. No he was a man who exuded power, confidence and strength.

“You make me nervous babe.” He says genuinely honest and it catches me off guard. There were moments that he let me see more than I thought he even let anyone see, and it surprised me because he gave off this air that said he didn’t let many truly in.

“Why? I’m not like the other girls you date.”

“Exactly. Sweetheart you are fucking incredible, beautiful, sweet, funny. Your big brown eyes are branded in my mind. You have your shit together, and your priorities aren’t all fucked up. You don’t play games. To me babe, you are the total package.” His voice is a little gruff.

We stay quiet and I sit on the porch swing that looks out towards Penny’s wooden playhouse and the boy’s tree house that they built with Nick and my dad taking a deep breath. Sean would want me to try to reach for my happy, just how Emmi had said, I think to myself as I watch a bird land on the bird bath and look over at me instead of pecking into the cool water.

“So does that mean it’s a yes on Spaghetti and meatballs?” I ask and he laughs.

“Yeah, count me in.”

I give him the address and I tell him anytime after two would work. I put down my phone as I stared out to our cute little backyard. It wasn’t as big as our backyard in Berkeley had been.  But it was well kept and peaceful. Thoughts of Sean drifted into my mind. Would have Sean liked Mike? I wasn’t sure, but I did. Wasn’t that what mattered? Wasn’t that what Sean would have wanted?

Sabrina

After brunch with the kids, I mentioned that Mike was coming over to talk about the potential of the mud run I had mentioned to them, and they were pretty unfazed. I went upstairs to get ready. Standing in my bedroom I look into the mirror, what the hell am I going to wear? I had said
casual
; casual at home for me was yoga pants and a hooded pullover sweater on my days off.
He would think I looked like a hot mess
, I thought to myself. Only thing is I can’t get all dolled up because then the kids will know something is off. I end up deciding on faded boot cut jeans that make my ass look great and a black camisole that has a lace trim to it and threw on a soft pink button up cardigan that I left unbuttoned rolling up the sleeves to my elbows. I threw my hair up in a messy bun, put on some lip gloss and threw on a pair of brown Reef flip flops.

My phone rings and I answer it as I look at myself in the mirror in my bathroom.

“Hello.”

“Is he there yet? What are you wearing? Did you shave?” Emmi asks sounding as excited as I feel.

“Not yet, jeans and a cardi, yes, and how did you even know he was coming over?” I ask laughing.

“Mark mentioned it to Danny when they talked on the phone. Danny saw him at baseball practice.” Danny was Emmi & Dan’s middle son.

“Did Mark sound upset?” I ask.

“No. He thought it was weird, but said that he had seemed cool… then told Danny maybe you would start dating.”

“Well Mark’s not the one I am most worried about when it comes to their reaction of me dating again.” I sigh.

“Chris?” Emmi asks.

“Yeah.” After Sean’s accident Chris has become inseparable and attached to my hip. He was the serious one, an old soul in a child’s body.

“He will be okay. Can I do a surprise stop by the house to see if he really looks as good as he did in his pictures?” she asks and I laugh.

“No, but we might go for ice cream later. We could bump into one another.” I suggest jokingly, but knowing Emmi she would take me up on the offer.

“Can’t, my mom is stopping by tonight.” She says sounding disappointed.

“Awe darn,” I laugh.

“So have you told Nick about Mike?” she asks curiously and all I can do is roll my eyes. My mom, sister and even Emmi had been convinced that something would happen with Nick and I, and for some odd reason wouldn’t let it go. Nick and I are extremely close, but at the end of the day I was like the sister he never wanted and he was the other brother I had needed.

“No, he is still in Hong Kong on business. With the time difference, it’s been tough to catch up. He is coming into town next week though.”

“He is going to be so broken hearted,” Emmi said teasingly. I think she was finally realizing that all Nick and I were were friends thankfully.

“Oh God Em! You know that isn’t true! Nick is a serial dater. Trust me we would never have worked. Plus we are like family.”

“Come on. All those nights he stayed over? Nothing ever happened?” she asks and I laugh, but make it a point not to answer. Something had happened one night over a year ago. But it was so minor, so slight and so completely awkward that Nick and I promised never to speak about it to anyone.

“Oh Emmi I better go” I say and immediately freeze where I am standing in my bathroom when I hear the doorbell. My heart pounding furiously in my chest, “I’ll call you later. I think he’s here.” I say sounding serious.

“It will be okay. Just breathe and be yourself, okay?” Thankfully she had dropped the whole Nick thing.

“Okay. Love you Em.”

“Love you Rin.” We hang up and I look at myself in the mirror one last time before heading down the stairs towards the door.

I reach the bottom of the stairs of my two story home and am slightly amused at the sight of my three kids standing at the door staring up at Mike.The kids looking up at him reminded me of how deliciously tall he was and I try to shake the damn thoughts out of my head.

“Hey guys invite Mike in will you?” I say and Mark signals a “come in” wave and they step aside still staring at him.

“Hey Mike,” I say, his eyes on me smiling shyly, “Sorry about them, they don’t get out much.”

To this Mike laughs; his laugh is wonderful and does something to my insides. His face is softer and kinder and even sexier when he laughs.

“Mike, this is my daughter Penny,” I say pointing to her.

“Hi Penny” his deep voice silky and kind, Penny nods and smiles.

“The tall kid is Mark, you remember him from the park.”

“Hey Ace.” Mark says as he nods, and Mike smiles and waves.

“And this little guy is Chris.”

“Hey Chris.” He says and Chris only waves at him, his little face completely serious.

“Okay guys, let him in,” I say trying to make things as casual as possible, “Would you like something to drink Mike?”

“Water would be good.” He says slightly smiling sounding very amused.

“Okay follow me, we can talk about the mud run in the kitchen.” I say walking towards the kitchen. I turn back and the kids are just staring at him… maybe having him over wasn’t such a great idea. By the end of this he will walk out and I won’t be hearing from him again.Thankfully the kids stay in the living room and I can hear them moving around, tv blaring.

I open the fridge and I look over at him. He looks even bigger in my house, and damn if he doesn’t look even sexier. He is wearing faded jeans that fit just right and a baby blue t-shirt that stretches across his broad shoulders and loosens at the waist, the color somehow bringing even more attention to his eyes. I look down and notice he is wearing black Chuck Taylors, most men his age would look pretty ridiculous wearing them, but he pulls it off seamlessly.