Creating Characters (23 page)

Adjectives: boring, dreary, dry, dull, flat, insipid, irksome, monotonous, prosaic, stodgy, stuffy, tedious, tiresome, unentertaining, uninteresting, wearisome.

Unlike the Adventurer, he does not purposely court danger, yet he will not try to avoid it if it should block his path. He will throw down the so-called gauntlet if challenged; he will draw the proverbial sword and rush forward to do battle, if that's what it takes to win the day. His stance is one of defense, not aggression. Responds fiercely to such adversity as threats, accusations, indifference, narrow-mindedness, neglect, deception, malevolence, and selfishness. He does "without witness everything that one is capable of doing before all the world" (La Rochefoucauld). Pushes aside fear of retaliation and does what he thinks is right. Listens to only one voice: that small one that guides his soul. Faced with trouble, he performs in that manner which others secretly wish they could have.

May also be called: gallant, hero, heroine, stalwart.

Adjectives: audacious, brash, brave, brazen, courageous, daring, dauntless, doughty, foolhardy, game, gritty, heroic, incautious, intrepid, knightly, lionhearted, mettlesome, nerveless, plucky, rash, resolute, spunky, stouthearted, undaunted, unfearful, unflinching, untimid, valiant, valorous.

A symphony of uncoordination. Has two left hands. All thumbs. Seemingly trips over his own two feet. Should never be put in charge of anything where he has to move something from here to there. Tends to make a mess of things, turn steak into hash, bring the house down upon his ears. Could screw up a glass of water. Things break when he's around. Glue could slip through his fingers.

May also be called: clodhopper. Adjectives: accident-prone, awkward, butterfingered, clumsy, heavy-handed, left-handed, oafish, ungainly, ungraceful, unhandy.

Desires to know who did what, where, and when it was done, and also why. A merchant of gossip who trades what others are doing and saying, or have supposed to have done or said. Feeds off private lives. All eyes and ears. Loves dishing the dirt, rolling out a scandal that will create a cascade ofwhispers. Not interested in the good, only the bad. Does not ask for proof, but something juicy. A human megaphone that advertises the dalliances and miscues of others.

May also be called: gossip, rumormonger, scandalmonger, talebearer, tattletale. Adjectives: curious, inquisitive, interrogative, nosy, snoopy.

Words pour from his mouth as if they were rain and he was a gutter downspout. Talks endlessly about nothing in particular. Jumps from subject to subject like a surfer in rough water, even interrupting himself with new thoughts that, to him, demand expression. Doesn't listen very well, if he does at all. Only by mistake does he utter something truly important. Seemingly does not pause to think. Everything apparently comes flying off the top of his head, or from a deep well of memories. Roller-skates through his mind and ticker-tapes what he finds there.

May also be called: babbler, chatterer, gabber, gasbag, gossip, jaw-box, magpie, prattler, talker, windbag. Adjectives: chatty, gabby, garrulous, gassy, glib, loquacious, talkative, windy.

A keeper of secrets that are of his own making. A self-designated trustee of information or experiences that mayor may not have importance. Does not wish to share what he knows about someone or something, and he will, as they say, take it to his grave. Doesn't breathe a word. Plays dumb when asked about something that he wants to remain covered up and relishes the perpetration of mystery. Guards the skeletons in the closet and the sights that were not supposed to be seen. Does not trade his inside information. Places a lid on something he knows and is never tempted to reveal it, possibly because of the harm it might do and possibly because he believes it is no one's business. Fearful that others will misconstrue the facts.

Adjectives: close-mouthed, concealing, evasive, secretive, unrevealing.

Walks the same path worn smooth by the great majority. Follows the rules. Keeps in step with the prevailing fashion, dutifully maintaining the cadence laid down. Unable to improvise. A chorus member rather than a soloist. Inclined to wear the same kind of clothes, live where he is expected to live, speak the words he believes to be acceptable, pursue the same dreams that all the others chase, and have his values verified by them. Leads a rather commonplace life. A slave to monotony; inclined to endure, without complaint, the trite and tedious. Very little is expected of him, and he obliges by not doing anything unusual that will set him apart from the great mass of people. Spends most of his time trying to make ends meet and attempts to suck some moments of pleasure from the years that rush by. Dreams of having a pension and living comfortably in old age. He will love, but not greatly; and when he dies, the record of his existence will trail off into oblivion as family members continue to recall less, photographs yellow and disappear, and visits to his grave are discontinued.

May also be called: humdrummer, second-rater, traditionalist.

Adjectives: conventional, dreary, imitative, ordinary, orthodox, unexciting, unimaginative, unoriginal.

Would find fault with the tilt of an angel's wing. Persistently dissatisfied with the performance of others. Invariably
sees
such things as incompetence, laziness, and waste wherever he looks. Never at a loss in his attempt to find something of which he can disapprove. Nothing ever quite pleases him. Knows where all the «soft spots" are in other people. Giving compliments is foreign to his nature. Talks disparagingly about people behind their back. Casts aspersions as if he were fishing with a large net. Maliciously circulates criticisms that have no basis in fact. Even when things go well, he can still find something to bitch about. Sets himself up as the judge of everyone else. Leaps to conclusions. Places a high value on those things that are truly trivial. Has a vocabulary filled with poison darts.

May also be called: backbiter, disparager, faultfinder, henpecker, muckraker, mudslinger, nag, slanderer.

Adjectives: backbiting, belittling, caustic, censorious, critical, defamatory, denunciatory, disapprobatory, hypercritical, insulting, maligning, nagging, obnoxious, offensive, quarrelsome, recriminatory, reproachful, sarcastic, scolding, slandering, uncomplimentary.

Takes him forever to get something done. Plods along, dillydallies, and does not pull his fair share of the load. Shirks his responsibilities for as long as he can, preferring to do things at his own convenience. Takes long breaks and has plenty of time to gab with co-workers. Frequently late.

May also be called: foot-dragger, goldbricker, goof off, laggard, malingerer, nap-taker, slowpoke, sluggard.

Adjectives: dawdling, fatigued, lazybones, lethargic, lingering, listless, loitering, lumpish, slow-footed, slow-moving, slow-paced, somnambulant, turtlelike, unproductive, weary-footed.

He is not what he appears. Psychologically, he is a sleight-of-hand artist, a Venus flytrap, a pirate who flies a false flag. Adept at obscuring the truth, framing bold lies, setting traps, identifying dupes, being something other than what he is. His skill at «pulling the wool over someone's eyes" is only surpassed by his sheer enjoyment of it. Purposely deceives another to gain something monetarily. Has no compunction about creating elaborate ruses to gain the confidence of others and, in the end, get something from them. Has more tricks than a caterpillar has legs. Adept at plotting and maneuvering. Lives by his wits.

May also be called: Artful Dodger, bamboozler, carpetbagger, charlatan, cheat, chiseler, con man, faker, flimflammer, four-flusher, fraud, gypster, horse trader, hypocrite, impostor, liar, perjurer, Philadelphia lawyer, phony, prevaricator, quack, schemer, sharper, slyboots, snake in the grass, swindler, trickster, two-timer, a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Adjectives: artificial, clever, cunning, delusive, dishonest, double-crossing, double-dealing, exaggerative, false-hearted, foxy, fraudulent, guileful, hypocritical, insidious, insincere, Machiavellian, manipulative, mealy-mouthed, pretentious, scheming, shifty, sly, smooth-tongued, treacherous, tricky, truthless, two-faced, unctuous, underhanded, ungenuine, untruthful, wily.

Exceptionally tactful in all social situations. Speaks and acts in such a way that no one is likely to become offended. Does not want to be seen favoring one side over the other, and yet, when he is through, each side is likely to think that he stands with them. His smoothness is disarming, his attempts at good naturedness seemingly sincere. If he wants to make a point or relate a piece of bad news, he will go to great lengths to cushion the blow of that information. Consistently tries to stay in harmony with the situation.

May also be called: fence-straddler, politician.

Adjectives: buttery, civil, complimentary, courteous, discreet, facilitating' flattering, glib, gracious, greasy, honey-mouthed, judicious, polished, polite, slick, slippery, smooth, smooth-tongued, suave, tactful, uncritical, well-mannered.

The accent is on indifference. His attitude: So what? Displays a complete lack of interest in either a particular series of events or someone's behavior pattern. Looks at something as being unworthy of his attention. When presented with some facts, replies that he has more important things to worry about. Has no desire to know what someone has done or not done, or what has happened or not happened, and would like the subject to be dropped. Acts as if he were blind to what is going on. Regarding a particular subject, tends to brush it aside, turn a deaf ear, think no more of it.

Adjectives: blasé, disregardful, distracted, heedless, inattentive, indifferent, lackadaisical, negligent, neutral, nonchalant, oblivious, unconcerned, unenthusiastic, unmindful, unobservant, unprepared, unwatchful.

Lacks self-control. Forever at the mercy of whatever his body craves,
e.g.,
liquor, food, sex, drugs, etc. Lacks the will to contain his desires. Goes on binges. Falls from grace.

May also be called: backslider, barfly, boozehound, boozer, drug addict, drunkard, free liver, glutton, hedonist, lush, rounder, sensualist, sot, tippler. Adjectives: alcoholic, besotted, debauched, gluttonous, intemperate, licentious, overindulgent, piggish, self-indulgent, sensual, unrestrained.

Without being ambitious or optimistic, yearns for something while not knowing how to achieve it and while harboring no hope that it will ever happen. Trapped on the island of Idle Fancies in that he may dream of being wealthy without any skills of making money, or of being famous without knowing what he could do to make most people realize that he is alive. Dreams of faraway places, wild adventures, and sizzling romance. Delicious thoughts of glory, intrigue, and danger transport him from his commonplace world to a place where his presence is valued, his decision-making sharp and momentous.

May also be called: castle-builder, daydreamer, moonraker, pipedreamer, Walter Mitty, woolgatherer.

Has a trusting nature and is always the prime target of the deceiver. Accepts most things he hears as being true. Swallows something hook, line, and sinker. Easily swindled, taken advantage of. Does not use his head to question something that is too good to be true. Persistently unaware of evil.

May also be called: babe in the woods, believer, easy mark, greenhorn, innocent, pushover, sap, Simple Simon. Adjectives: deceivable, deludable, exploitable, foolable, green, guileless, gullible, ingenuous, naïve, unassuming, unsophisticated, unsuspecting.

Displays behavior that is decidedly different from the norm, that which others may call perverse, odd, out-of-the ordinary, or just plain weird. Causes people to raise their eyebrows, to talk in hushed tones about him, and to say,

"Well! If that doesn't beat all!" Or he may raise giggles or cause smiling heads to shake good naturedly. Some may think his mind has slipped a gear, that his thoughts are running in reverse of clear reason. Others will humor him and take in stride, perhaps, that he tries to catch mosquitoes with chopsticks.

May also be called: caution, crackpot, curiosity, flake, nonconformist, oddball, oddity, queer duck, screwball.

Adjectives: abnormal, bizarre, buggy, crotchety, erratic, flaky, peculiar, queer, uncommon, unconformable, unconventional, unnatural, unorthodox, unusual, wacky.

Tries to stretch his money as far as it will go, but he will nevertheless come to someone's aid—if he can. Always looking for bargains. Collects string, buttons, and various odds and ends, so as not to have to buy them later. Puts his money in the bank, religiously. Performs wonders with leftovers. Does not waste what he has today, for fear that he will need it tomorrow, and the waste he sees happening consistently in the world depresses him. If he attends an event, he buys the «cheap seats."

Adjectives: economical, frugal, penny-pinching, saving, self-depriving, self-sacrificing, sparing, stinting, thrifty.

Admires the «virtues" he sees in himself. Sitting in vanity's corner, he is likely to put on airs, to brag, and to be so self-admiring sometimes as to make a cat laugh. He is, as they say, stuck on himself and the only modesty he knows is what he might see in other people. Because he is so wrapped up in what he perceives as his own superior talents, accomplishments, beauty, or social status, it is unlikely that he will pay much attention to anything that does not come out of his own mouth. Likes to see heads turn his way when he enters a room. Believes he has accomplished far more than he really has. In his own mind, no one can measure up to himself. Has time for no one but himself.