Crazy Baby (5 page)

“I don’t want to fight with you either, baby,” I assure her. Even though I feel anything but assured myself.

“I’m sorry I snapped. I’m tired and stressed, but I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“Apology accepted. What’s stressing you?” I ask.

She steps back and looks at me. “Luke, you’re still wet and
butt
naked,” she laughs while shaking her head. 

Grabbing a towel, she wraps it around me and begins to drag the soft cotton across my wet skin. I watch her intently as she focuses on drying me, taking care of me, and showing her love in so many little ways. When she reaches up to dry off my hair, she finally notices me watching her.

“What are you thinking?” she asks, tilting her head to the side and narrowing her eyes at me.

What am I thinking? I’m trying to picture my life for the next six months without you by my side. I’m trying to keep my heart from breaking when I think of all the special moments that we’ll miss sharing. I’m praying that you don’t realize you can find someone so much better than me.

“I love you,” I reply.

“I love you, too, Luke,” she says sincerely. “You don’t think a little tiff could make me stop loving you, do you?”

Shaking my head, I take the towel from her and wrap it around my waist. “No, I don’t think that. I’d like to think it’d take more than that to make you stop loving me. You want to tell me what’s stressing you?”

“Everything. Nothing in particular.” She shrugs.

Before I start into another round of my insecurities, I stop myself from trying to drag information out of her. She’ll tell me when she’s ready to tell me—that much I’ve learned about Andi. So, for now, I leave it alone and focus on the things I need to do today.

Walking to the closet, I grab my gear for the afternoon training fight and quickly dress. Andi is still watching me with a slightly confused expression. After getting everything situated, I put my bag beside the bedroom door and turn to her.

“I’m going to take a nap before I go back to the gym. Mack has arranged a training fight and told me to get some rest. Will you be here when I wake?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m meeting Maria at the youth center to show her the ropes. She’s taking it over while I’m on the road. She may even keep the position after I get back. She’s really good with kids, and she’s excited about this opportunity.”

“You’re giving up the youth center? You love that place.”

“Maybe it’s time to find new hobbies to love.” She shrugs as she puts on her clothes. “I have to finish getting ready, but I can make you something to eat first if you want.”

“I’ll do it when I get up, baby. Thank you, though.”

She narrows her eyes at me. “You don’t have to thank me for that, Luke. I love taking care of you.”

It’s odd to feel like I’m losing someone who is still here with me. Even though she shows her love, desire, and care for me, the dark clouds are waiting on the horizon. As much as I try to push the thoughts away, it’s like a bad premonition that continues to haunt me.

Giving her a quick kiss as my only reply, I try to get a grip on myself. This isn’t like me to dwell on this at all. Our relationship has already been through hell and back, and it only made us stronger. After losing her once, I know it’s not something I want to experience again. That must be why this keeps bothering me so much. The impending separation feels like the time I lost her before.

I set the alarm on my watch and stretch out on our bed. After an eternity of tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, and changing pillows repeatedly, I finally fall into a fitful sleep. The visions of her and Travis together wake me well before my alarm is supposed to, so I get up, eat, and decide it’s time to head back to the gym early.

TRAVIS

Everyone thinks the life of a rock star is so fucking great. All the money that comes with it just makes every problem magically disappear, right? I can’t lie
—
there are definitely perks to it, but it’s not all red-carpet events and people catering to our every outrageous demand. A lot of hard work goes into achieving the status Sound Bar has realized, and a lot of hard work goes into maintaining this kind of life. Hell, a lot of work goes into just living this kind of life.

Touring is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the love and support we get from our adoring fans helps to repel the loneliness the road causes. On the other hand, our adoring fans make it impossible to live a normal life. Even on the rare occasion when we’re not approached when we’re out in public, it’s only because we’re in disguises. But we’re still unable to live normal lives.

Need to run to the store for more beer? Forget it—I’d never make it out of the store in one piece. Need to stop and take a piss in a public restaurant? Not happening—I’d have to find a big tree somewhere in the middle of nowhere instead. What if I want to take my girl out on a date? I’d need a SWAT team of security surrounding us just to get through the hordes of paparazzi with their blinding flashbulbs and the fans with their cell phones, all just trying to get the latest scoop.

It’s the ultimate catch-22. Do we want a lot of fans or not? Do we want the fame and fortune or not? Do we want the recognition for our talents or not? Every celebrity has to give up a modicum of privacy; it comes with the territory and I get that. But when it gets to the point of interfering with life, it gets to be a bit too much.

When we first started touring, Kale, Drew, Mike, and I were all in awe of the beautiful women who literally threw their bodies at us. It was insane! I was all about that shit at first—I ate it up like fucking candy. The attention made my head blow up about ten times its normal size. So much so, I had to go up a size in my jeans.

Then, I met this beautiful, talented, brave lady, and she stole my breath right out of my chest. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I felt an instant connection. Waiting two extra hours for her to finish taping her segment on
The Lindsey Blair Show
didn’t even faze me because I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. My phone must have buzzed with at least two dozen text messages from my band and my tour manager, but I never even noticed because I was so completely captivated with this petite, feisty, beautiful blonde.

She was putting her own neck on the line to help protect abused kids. She was
a-fucking-mazing
. She had a lot to lose and she opened herself up to scrutiny from every direction, but she stood her ground, kept her head held high, and never apologized. She’s the sole reason why I opened up and spoke publicly about my past, about how I was abused as a child.

The day I met her is forever seared in my memory, and I often relive it in my dreams. Part of why I’m such a talented songwriter is because I feel everything so deeply. Love, lust, betrayal, friendship, and loyalty—all of my feelings are channeled through me and straight into my songs. My words come from the heart, from my experiences, and from my desires. She has inspired so many of my songs in the last few months, in such a broad range of emotions, but she has no idea.

“I am completely in awe of you,” I blurted out to her as soon as she stepped off the stage.

“But…you’re Travis Malone!”

I smiled at her reply, a typical reaction from my fans.

“I am Travis,” I confirmed. “And Travis is impressed with you.”

I extended my hand to shake hers. When her hand slipped into mine, the proverbial electrical shock started at the tip of my fingers, ran up my arm, and through my entire body. Never before had that happened to me.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, bashfulness taking over her beautiful face. “Thank you, Travis, but I don’t deserve your praise. I should’ve done this a long time ago.”

“The fact is you’re here now, when it could cost you more than it would’ve back then. That’s real courage, Andi, and that’s why I’m in awe of you.”

She shrugged her shoulders and averted her eyes from mine, clearly uncomfortable with the praise. “It’s the very least I can do,” she replied quietly. “If it helps another child today, whatever I lose is worth it.”

Her sincerity touched me somewhere deep inside, and I knew this would be the interview of a lifetime for Lindsey. As if she didn’t get enough from Andi, I decided to make an announcement and take my stand beside her.

Taking Andi’s hand, I led her out to face the studio audience again. In the middle of the stage, with Lindsey’s mouth hanging wide open, I made a public announcement.

“I was physically abused by my father as a child. He was a mean drunk. He liked to take out his frustrations on my mom and me. If I can help erase the stigma of abuse, I want to contribute. Maybe Andi and I can do public service announcements together.”

The last statement I made even took me by surprise. It just materialized from nowhere, but it immediately made perfect sense. Turning to Andi, I raised my eyebrows to ask if she was in agreement with me.

“Are you serious? That would be awesome! You have so many fans—we could make such a difference! We’ll be a great team!”

I’d never believed in love at first sight or at first contact until I laid eyes on her. How many people remember the exact moment they fell in love? I do. Her naïveté and purity stole my heart in that very moment.

“We’re a perfect team,” I agreed. “I’ll have my agent get the ball rolling immediately.”

“Travis, will you and Andi record a song together for the PSAs?” Lindsey asked, pulling my attention from Andi.

My head jerked back to her direction. “Can you sing?”

I heard comments about her karaoke songs during her interview, but I don’t really take karaoke singers seriously. No offense intended, but that’s not concert-worthy material.

“Are you kidding?” Lindsey laughingly asked. “Her voice is phenomenal.”

“In that case, I’m certainly open to it.”

Andi’s shocked demeanor quickly turned to terror as she realized the implications of my reply.

“Are you serious?” she whispered.

“Completely.”

The smile that split her face in two rivaled an angel’s beauty. The complete joy that shone in her eyes melted me from the inside out. The pure excitement that overtook her was contagious.

“I can’t wait to tell Luke!” she squealed. She then further clarified. “He’s my boyfriend.”

And the explosion I immediately felt inside my chest was my heart shattering into a million pieces.

“Travis, come on, man. You know she’s taken,” Kale tries to talk sense into me for the millionth time since meeting Andi.

“I know she has a boyfriend, asshole. They’re not married yet,” I counter.

“They’re engaged, dickhead. He proposed. She said yes. End of,” Kale argues.

“It’ll be ‘end of’ when she says ‘I do.’ Until then, she’s not married and can change her mind,” I argue.

We’ve had this argument a million times as well. Kale has the same argument and I have the same counterargument every single time. I’ve never been inappropriate with Andi, to my credit. I’ve dropped numerous hints along the way, but she doesn’t seem to pick up on them. Sometimes I just want to shout out my feelings for her and see how she reacts.

For now, I’m pouring them into the new songs that’ll be introduced on the tour. The very tour that Andi’s joining us on as our opening act. I’ll have six months on the road with her to try to win her over for myself. If she gets married before we leave, I’ll back off and never look back. If she’s not married by the time we leave, I have to wonder if fate had a hand in it.

“Travis, we all love Andi, but I don’t see her leaving Luke. Even for a big rock star like you,” Drew chimes in.

“Not you, too,” I groan as I lean over to adjust the studio recording equipment.

“Hear me out, prick. Would you really want her if she just plays the guy and puts him away? If she’d cheat on him, she’d cheat on you,” Drew says, like he’s the expert on relationships.

Straightening, I level my gaze on him and speak slowly. “Don’t dis her, Drew,” I spit out his name instead of using a friendly insult. “I’d never ask her to cheat. But, if she breaks it off with him to be with me, that’s a different story.”

“Whoa, man, I’m just saying,” Drew says defensively.

“Well don’t ‘just say’ anything else about it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”

If only I could convince myself that was true.

“You could have any woman you want, Trav,” Mike adds with his infinite wisdom. “And you’ve had a lot of them already.”

His shit-eating grin irks me. “Do you have a point to this pointless story? Because I’m not hearing one.”

“Why chase after some chick who only sees you as a friend? You have plenty of hot girls on your heels all the time. Take your pick, man! Don’t waste your time on the one you can’t have.” Mike laughs as he gets set up for today’s session.

“Yes, all of you fuckers have the best relationship advice in the world. I’m going to listen to every one of you and do exactly as you say,” I reply to the room, sarcasm lacing my every word.

“Good. Now that we have that settled, let’s practice,” Kale replies, as clueless as ever.

“If it makes you idiots shut up, we’ll practice all damn night,” I mutter under my breath.

“Heard that, dickhead,” Mike calls out from behind the drum set.

“Meant for you to, shithead,” I reply.

We run through the entire set twice, even down to the playful banter I’ll engage the audience with between songs. When Andi finishes her practice, she usually comes in and listens to us from the sound booth. Glancing at my watch, I notice how late it is and wonder why she hasn’t made it in here yet.

“She knows she has to practice those songs with you. She’ll be here,” Drew says as he pretends to adjust his guitar.

“Everyone take five. You’ve been at it for hours,” Les, our sound technician, says. “I need to take a piss anyway.”

We all laugh and agree to a break. It has been a long afternoon and evening of rehearsing. As we file out of the sound booth, all the guys turn right toward the bathroom, and I turn left, toward Andi. When I reach the room she practices in, I find it’s empty and dark.

Moving back down the hall in the direction I just came from, I stop at the room the girls of Fireflies are in. Peering through the glass in the sound room door, I see Andi sitting beside the sound tech. I know the look in his eye when he looks at Andi—it’s the same one I have. There’s no hiding it.

The girl just pulls people into her world and they can’t help but fall in love with her, in one way or another. I’ve met Luke, and I have no doubt that he’s a good guy. I know he’s crazy about her, but so am I. Leaning my forehead against the cool glass, I squeeze my eyes shut and try to control the impulse to rush to her side. My hand is squeezing the door handle as I battle the voices in my head that try to convince me how much better off she’d be with me.

Almost as if it’s separate from my body, my arm pulls the door open and I make a straight line to Andi. The sound tech put his hand on her and my protective instincts kicked in. Fine, my possessive instincts kicked in, too.

“Here you are. We lost you,” I joke with Andi.

My eyes land on the hand that’s still on her shoulder, and I shoot the tech a dirty look. He takes the hint and smoothly removes his hand from her before I remove it for him.

“Oh, sorry! Have you been waiting for me? I poked my head in, but you were still on your second set, so I came in here to listen to the Fireflies,” she explains.

“It’s no big deal, Andi. We needed a break anyway.”

“Are you ready for me?” she asks innocently.

“Absolutely,” I reply, leaving my meaning open for interpretation. The sound guy smirks at me. He knows. Fucker.

Taking her hand, I help her to stand while trying to keep my face from showing my inner thoughts. Apparently, I pulled on her a little too hard since our bodies brush against the other as she rises, her front to my front. Her sweet perfume envelops my senses, and I take an involuntary deep breath in to savor her scent. As she steps in front of me, I place my hand on the small of her back and walk her through the door. The small, intimate actions seem so natural between us. 

“Hey Travis, you still seeing that brunette bombshell with the huge ta-tas and nice ass?” the sound technician asks, just as Andi and I step into the doorway. “If you’re finished with her, you can leave her number with me.”

Andi’s eyes cut to mine and back to the sound man again. She’s clearly uncomfortable with this conversation, and he’s clearly trying to start some shit with me. Not very smart on his part considering one word from me to Katelyn would find him on the unemployment line. The only rationale for his behavior I can come up with is that he’s under the same spell I am—Andi’s.

“That wasn’t me, man. You must have me confused with someone else. Maybe double-check the artist’s name next time.” My stare dares him to say another word, and he takes the not-so-subtle hint.