Craving Shannon (17 page)

Apparently, that only angered her more. “Calm down?” she yelled, disbelievingly. “I just walked into your office to find your arms wrapped around a naked…a naked…teenager! Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!”

Both Sarah and Kyle’s eyes popped wide open.

“How long have you been fucking that girl?” she screeched.

Chad ran his hands through his hair. “Donna, I—”

“I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses!” she raged. 

“I’m not going to give you excuses,” Chad promised. “If we could just go somewhere quiet to discuss this.”

Donna’s demeanor changed suddenly. She straightened her back and sneered smugly at him. “What’s the matter, Chad?” she asked. She gestured toward Sarah and Kyle. “You don’t want anyone to know you have a fetish for teenage girls?”

“Donna!” Chad said pointedly between clenched teeth. “Stop that!” There was no disguising the warning in his tone.

Her face broke into a hateful grin. “Tell me, Chad, is she even eighteen?”

Chad pinched the bridge of his nose and blew out a steady breath. He looked over at Donna, every ounce of sympathy he felt for her dissipating. He nodded slowly. “Yes,” he replied, smugly. “She
is
over eighteen. My relationship with her is perfectly legal. If you wish to discuss my personal life in front of my co-workers, then so be it, Donna. What else would you like to know?” He folded his arms over his chest and glared at her.

Donna, realizing that she wasn’t going to get the better of him, turned on her heels. “Have a nice life, asshole!” She stormed off toward the elevators.

Chad sighed. He turned to face Sarah and Kyle who were pretending to read something on the desk. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled.

Kyle shrugged. “Oh, yeah, it’s nothing…” he trailed off uncomfortably.

Sarah just nodded and avoided eye contact.

Back in his office, Shannon stood in the middle of the floor, fully dressed and biting on her fingernail, a stream of tears stained her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” Chad said, walking toward her. “I feel so terrible.” He made a move to hug her but she backed away. “Shannon, what’s the matter?”

“How can you ask that?” she responded doubtfully.

“I know that was horrible, but it’s over now,” he said.

“Maybe for you,” she replied. “Sarah and Kyle were in reception. They heard everything. They know I came here to deliver a package and that I didn’t return. They know it was me she was ranting about.”

“How do you know what she said?” he asked.

“Chad, she was screaming at the top of her lungs,” Shannon answered. “I heard her. I would wager the whole company heard her. By now, everyone in the office is probably convinced I’m just some little slut.”

“Shannon, don’t say that,” he scolded.

“Why not?” she asked. “It’s more than likely the truth.”

Chad was taken aback by the look in her eyes. It went deeper than hurt, it was something dark, an expression he’d never seen before. “Shannon, no one thinks that about you.”

“How would you know?” she hissed. “And besides, what am I?”

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

She bit her lip and looked at him with disgust before answering. “I’m not your girlfriend,
she
just ran off. So in actual fact, I really am just a slut…your own personal one.”

Obviously, things
could
get worse.

Not only had he destroyed Donna, but he’d manage to make Shannon feel like a whore. An older woman wouldn’t have minded so much, but Shannon was still a very young woman with little experience. This was what his mother tried to warn him about, that younger women, looking at things more innocently, tended to see situations in either black or white. Why had it taken him until now to realize that?

“That’s not true,” he said, hoping that she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

She shrugged.

“Listen, Shannon, why don’t you go on home—”

“No,” she replied, cutting him off. “I’m not walking out there past Sarah. It’s just too humiliating.”

“Okay, okay,” he said. He gripped her shoulder in an effort to calm her down. “We’ll wait here until she leaves.”

When Chad was convinced the coast was clear, he walked Shannon to the elevator. “I’ll see you at home. I have something I need to do.”

“Where are you going?” she questioned.

“I owe it to Donna to break up with her face-to-face. I know that seems stupid since she never wants to see me again, but I feel like I owe her at least an explanation,” he replied. He wondered if he had just imagined the resentment in Shannon’s eyes. “I’ll be back at the apartment in an hour or two then you and I can talk, okay?”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about,” she mumbled.

“Believe me, Shannon, before this night is over, I’ll find a way to make this right for everyone!”

Donna pulled open her apartment door and stood aside to let Chad walk passed her. “Thank you for agreeing to see me,” he said.

She gestured toward her couch. “I thought that after over two years, I should at least give you the chance to explain,” she answered. “Would you like a beer?”

He nodded, relieved by her hospitality. “Thank you,” he replied.

Donna went to the kitchen and returned seconds later holding two Amstel Lights. She opened one for Chad and handed it to him, then opened her own. After they had both taken a few nerve calming sips, she put her beer on the coffee table.

“What exactly did you want to say?” she asked.

Chad turned to face her, surprised by how much calmer she was. “The truth is…” He took a deep breath, dreading what he was about to say. “I was planning to break up with you before you left for Dubai, but I just never seemed to find the right time. I’m sorry, I can see now that it was unfair to you to wait.” Not exactly the gospel truth, but he figured it was close enough.

“What?!” Donna said in a harsh voice. She looked completely confused by his words.

“I…what…did I say something wrong?” he asked. “I mean, besides the obvious. You look like you were expecting something different.”

She barked out a sharp laugh. “Oh, man,” she said, shaking her head. She put her head in her hands briefly before looking back up again. “I’m such an asshole.”

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

“When you called and begged me to talk to you, I just assumed you were coming here to apologize for cheating on me.”

“In a way I am,” he responded, still puzzled.

“Not in the way I thought. I assumed you were going to beg for my forgiveness, beg me to take you back.”

Oh, shit!
“Donna, I’m sorry,” he answered, shaking his head. “I wasn’t happy with you. I knew for a long time, deep down inside, that things weren’t working between us. My only regret is that I didn’t end it sooner.”

“God, I’m so sorry I made you so miserable,” she said sarcastically.

“Stop,” Chad scolded. “You didn’t make me miserable. It’s just…things were not right.”

“What about your little friend?” she asked. “Does she make you happy?”

“Shannon?” Chad questioned.

“I don’t really need to know
her
name,” Donna said in a snide voice.

Chad pondered that momentarily. It wasn’t something he ever considered before. Shannon was an addiction, a drug, something he couldn’t get enough of whether it was good for him or not. “This has nothing to do with her,” he replied, refusing to make his break-up with Donna Shannon’s fault.

“How long have you been sleeping with her,” she queried.

“Does it matter?” he asked.

“Yes, it does.”

“It started after you left for the Middle East, not before.”

“So it wasn’t just a once off,” she said in a dejected voice.

“No,” he whispered.

She nodded. They sat in silence for a long moment. Donna wiped a tear or two from her eyes, but all-in-all seemed to be handling herself well.

“Donna, I’m so sorry,” Chad said again, breaking the uncomfortable silence. He put his hand on her shoulder affectionately.

“Is there any way we could work things out?” she asked hopefully.

That statement was certainly unexpected. “You would want to be with me knowing that I have been living with another woman while you were gone?” he asked. He realized his mistake the moment it came out of his mouth.

Her eyes bulged. “You’re living with her?” she screeched, her expression one of disgust.

Chad nodded slowly.

“So I guess it’s really and truly over then,” she said, the pain in her eyes evident.

“It is, but not because of her,” he reiterated.

Donna stared at him as though she was reading his expression. Abruptly, she straightened her back and lifted her chin slightly. “I think you need to leave, Chad,” she said in a firm manner.

He nodded and squeezed her hand. “Thank you for allowing me to come here.”

He felt like shit for hurting Donna so badly, but was also relieved to have the unpleasant task behind him. Still the shitty feeling seemed to outweigh the relief. He hailed a cab, told the driver the address to his apartment then instantly changed his mind. He needed a drink badly. He texted Alex to see if he was heading to the bar; thankfully he was.

Chad was on his second pint of beer by the time Alex arrived with Derek.

“What’s up?” Derek asked, noticing Chad’s somber expression.

“I just broke up with Donna,” he announced. He caught the triumphant look exchanged between his friends.

“Ah, sorry, Buddy,” Derek offered, “I guess that’s sad.”

Chad smirked at his friend. “It’s not, you phony jackass. It’s the way it happened.”

Alex and Derek were all ears while Chad divulged the specifics.

“Man, poor Shannon,” Alex said when Chad finished filling them in on his disastrous afternoon.

“Is Shannon’s okay?” Derek piped in.

“Really?” Chad chuckled. “Not one fuck to give about Donna…either of you? You guys are cold.”

“What were you thinking, anyway,” Alex said. “Asshole, the girl lives with you. You really couldn’t have waited until you got home to nail her?”

“She has this crazy effect on me,” he explained. “Logic doesn’t seem to come into the equation. I find it hard to keep my hands off her. Except this past weekend, which was even weirder.”

“Why, what happened at the weekend?” Derek asked.

When Chad told them about his weekend of Lord of the Rings and snow angels, Derek and Alex shared a knowing look.

“She’s under your skin,” Alex surmised.

“It’s so strange,” Chad began. “I think about her constantly, and not just in a sexual way. This morning, I stopped into Dunkin Donuts to by a pumpkin coffee and I ended up staring at donuts, wondering what kind Shannon would prefer and if I should bring her one. In the end, I didn’t because then I would have had to buy them for the whole office, not that I would normally mind that, but the gesture would have lost its meaning. Sometimes I sit in my office and wonder what she’s doing out at reception, and if Kyle is flirting with her. Then, other times, I’ll think of something funny and want to call reception to tell her, to hear her laugh…” Having finished his mini monologue, he looked up to see Alex and Derek smirking at him as though he was crazy. He shook his head. “Weird, huh?”

“Not as weird as the fact that you’re clueless to what’s going on,” Alex answered.

“What do you mean?” Chad questioned.

“Man, are you really that oblivious?” Derek asked, bewildered.

“I have no idea what you two are on about,” Chad said.

“Okay, let me ask you one question,” Alex requested.

“What?”

“Does she make you happy?”

“That’s funny,” Chad replied. “You’re the second person today to ask me that. Donna asked the same thing.”

“So what’s the answer?” Derek probed.

Chad thought about that as objectively as he could, but his mind told him absolutely nothing—zilch!

But then, without probing, he thought back to the weekend they just shared, the impromptu snowball fight, the comfort of just watching a movie with her, even when they weren’t speaking. He thought about the day he took her shopping, and then he thought about Thanksgiving and how she interacted with his family. He thought about the times they had dinner together, her lovely smile as she listened intently to some boring story he was telling. He thought about that strange sensation that flared up in him sometimes when she was around, like when she came by his office briefly to drop off his mail, or when he woke up to find her snuggled up against him. The answer was obvious, so obvious he was surprised he’d missed it until that moment.

“Yes,” he said. “Yes, she makes me happy.”

Alex nodded. “And you still don’t know?” he asked.

Chad shook his head. “Know what?” he questioned, this time with a hint of frustration in his voice. Why wouldn’t they just spell out whatever the hell it was they wanted to say.

“You seriously got nothing?” Derek asked, glaring at Chad as though he was the stupidest person in the universe.

“Just say it,” Chad blurted out in frustration.

“You want to tell him?” Derek asked Alex, “or should I.”

“Be my guest,” Alex replied grinning.

Derek turned to Chad and put both hands on his shoulders. “Jackass, you’re in love with Shannon.”

“What?” Chad questioned, sure he must have misheard his friend.

“You. Are. In. Love. With. Shannon.” Derek exaggerated the pronunciation of each word as though he was talking to someone who had trouble with simple concepts.

“No! Not possible!” Chad spluttered out, shaking his head vigorously.

“It’s true,” Alex confirmed, nodding to Chad. “Just accept it and deal.”

“I…I can’t be,” Chad stuttered. “I don’t even believe in that bullshit.”

“You are and it’s not bullshit,” Derek said firmly, tapping his knuckles on the top of Chad’s head. He turned to Alex. “Wanna play pool?” he asked.

Alex jumped up. “Yeah, sure,” he agreed. “You playing?” he asked Chad.

“No,” Chad answered, still pondering their words. How could they drop a bomb like that then just play pool as though nothing happened?

He sipped his beer, letting the concept roll around his mind, trying to find flaws in their theory, trying to find personal evidence to support his long held stance that love was only a chemical phenomenon. The problem was, every time he pulled up a memory of Shannon for his inner research, the thought of her made him smile and made his heart beat just a little faster. The thought of her caused that strange sensation to flare up inside him again. Wait…was that it…was that what that was? Was that what love felt like? He had to admit, it was very pleasant. Then as he contemplated the feeling, when he stopped trying to suppress it, when he just let it be, he discerned that it was much more than merely pleasant; it was euphoric!

There was only one conclusion to make—he was in love with Shannon!

Unfortunately, his newly found euphoria didn’t last very long. The reality of the situation seeped in, causing his joy to evaporate instantly.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked, having reappeared beside him. “You’re making that face you make when you’re upset about something.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Chad said in a somber voice.

“What doesn’t matter?” Alex questioned.

“It doesn’t matter that I love her,” Chad responded. “I can never really have her. She’s almost half my age.”

“So?” Alex asked, shrugging his shoulders as though that was no big deal. “She’s an adult. She’s at liberty to date whom she wants, regardless of the person’s age.”

“She’s barely lived yet. She can’t know what she wants,” Chad answered.

“Buddy, you’re not seeing the big picture,” Alex stated. “She just lived through a terrible tragedy. She had no one, not a friend in the world until you came along and took her in, until you saved her. Dude, you’re her knight in shining armor. You’ve basically ruined any other man’s chances with her. No one could ever measure up to you.”

“You think?” Chad asked.

Alex nodded. “I am willing to bet my life savings that if you wanted her, she would be yours until the very end.”

“Yeah, but the age difference…” Chad trailed off, feeling despondent.  

Kenny, the bartender, put a fresh pint in front of Alex then turned to face Chad. “I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation,” he admitted. “First of all, I’m pissed that you told me she was over twenty-one. I could get in a lot of trouble for serving her.”

Chad put his hand on his forehead. “I’m so sorry,” he said sincerely. “The first time I brought her here I thought it was a once off. Then, after that, I kind of forgot.”

Kenny waved his hand dismissively. “It’s in the past, but please get your girlfriend a decent I.D, one that keeps me good with the cops. Anyway, I really just wanted to ask you if you remembered the reason I went home to Ireland this past September?” he questioned.

“It was your mother’s birthday, right?” Chad responded.

“Yes,” Kenny replied. “It was her seventieth, a big milestone.”

Chad looked at him with a baffled expression, wondering what he was getting at.

“Do you remember me telling you the reason why I’m going back home to Ireland in February?” Kenny questioned.

“Is it your father’s birthday?” Chad guessed.

Kenny nodded. “Another milestone. My dad is turning eighty-five.”

Chad shrugged and gave Kenny an
‘I don’t get it’
look.

Kenny rolled his eyes. “Do the math, young master Jedi.”

Understanding crept in. “Yeah, but that’s different,” Chad argued. “At a certain time in life, age doesn’t matter—”