Crashing Back Down (27 page)

After pushing a few drunken idiots out of my way, I made it back to Cali’s side. She and I sang along and swayed to the music, sipping on our beers for the next few songs. The fans went wild every time a new song started, jumping up and down, screaming, and singing. Cali and I went right along with everyone, laughing, screaming and just having a blast. The band sounded amazing, so much more mature and fine-tuned since the first time we had heard them play.

Halfway through the set, Rodney let the audience know that the guys were going to take a quick break to let his voice rest, calling it the “perfect time for everyone to get a swig of something”. By that time, Cali and I had forced our way right up next to the stage in front of where the charming front man had been for most of his performance. Right before he walked off the stage, Rodney pointed over in our direction and whispered to a bouncer who nodded and then started to make his way over to us.

With his arms crossed over his chest, he smiled from ear to ear at us. “You girls are invited backstage, come on.” He opened the gate that was right next to us and slammed it quickly once we were on the other side, pushing a few crazy fans out of the way in the process. “Follow me, ladies.

Cali and I, hand in hand, followed the giant bouncer through a maze of a hallway to the band’s dressing room. I was surprised how big it was and how few people were actually back there. There was a table with tons of appetizers and finger foods laid out, right next to a cooler full of beer and liquor bottles. All of the band members came over to greet us.

“Rodney told us about you girls. What a small freaking world it is that he would run into you today.” Dane’s eyes were glowing and he hugged me tightly. “Of course, I remember you two.”

From the cooler, Rodney grabbed two beers, opened them and handed them to us. “We don’t have much time left here for our intermission, but I figured backstage was a lot more comfortable to watch the show, than fighting the drunken hordes for a drink at the bar.” He winked at us and then turned to the band. “Hey, let’s take a picture with some of our oldest fans!”

They were probably the most down to earth humble group of guys I had ever come across. An alluringly tall, tattooed woman strode over to me. “Hi, I’m Fallon, Dane’s wife.” She greeted both Cali and I. “Give me your phone, I’ll take the picture.” She smiled at Rodney as he handed her his cell too and we all huddled together.

We took a few pictures, and then the guys made their way back over to the stage. Cali, Fallon, and I all stood in the curtained area off to stage left. Fallon was so nice and got just as excited as we did. She asked us about our lives and she told us all about how she was in an underground band and pretty famous herself until she gave it all up, including the cocaine, and found Dane, and was living happily ever after with him on tour with the band. It was not a lifestyle I could enjoy, but it seemed like their version of paradise.

The set ended with my favorite ballad, the three of us swaying to the slow rhythm, with our arms around each other. Rodney looked back at us and sang the bridge right to the side of the stage. The entire experience had been thrilling. The band ended their set and made their way back over to us. Cali and I gushed over how amazing they had become, complimenting them as much as possible.

Maverick leaned over into us and whispered, “Don’t worry, we’re all friends now, you can tell us how you really feel.” Cali and I just giggled and blushed at his sexy half smile, as he ran his fingers through his Mohawk, messing it up. Both sides of his head were buzzed just enough to show that he had stars, of all different colors, tattooed on his scalp.

Rodney made his way over to us, inviting us into their limo. I shook my head, “No, what about my car? I can just drive it over to the hotel.” Cali made a pouting face at me, and Rodney bent his knees to be the same height as her and mimicked her sullen expression.

“Come on, Mags, the car will be fine for a few hours. Besides, we’ve all been drinking!”

“Cal, how are we going to get back to our car later?” There was no way I wanted to be stuck at a hotel with people we really didn’t know. The Hysterics all seemed like nice and upstanding gentlemen, but I was sure the Unabomber did too at some point in his life.

I finally put my foot down and got my way, but with a twist. Rodney had the brilliant idea Cali and I ride in the limo with the guys and Fallon and my car be driven by their bodyguards over to the hotel. The only reason I handed over my keys was because Rodney promised that if he crashed it, I could get any car I wanted.

In the limo, we drank champagne and goofed off with all of the band members. They were just the way I remembered them, good-hearted, funny, and seductive. Cali was getting really comfortable next to Maverick, and my alarms started going off. This was not like her and I started to get really unsettled. I knew that we had been drinking for the better part of the day and I might have been overreacting, but when I saw Maverick put his hand on Cali’s knee and she just giggled into a long, make out session, my temper flared.

In the limo, packed like sardines, was not the place to rip Cali away from the sexual panther that was about to pounce on her, but I didn’t wait long after we climbed out of the limo to rip her to the side of the group.

Dane and Fallon spun around to look at us as we stopped right next to the limo, as Fallon’s soft voice called over. “You two coming?”

I smiled as nicely as I could while my nails dug into Cali’s wrist. “Yeah, be right in, I just have something to tell Cali really quickly.”

They both nodded and headed inside where we could see Dane letting the bellhop know we were with them. Cali tore her hand from my clenched grasp. “What the fuck, Mags! That hurts!”

I glared at her. “Well, Cal, I think you need to remember the ring on your finger doesn’t say ‘Fuck me Maverick’ on it.”

With a gapped mouth stare, tears came out of nowhere. Through sobs, Cali gasped, “My marriage is over.”

I did a double take at Cali while inhaling a sharp breath, immediately wrapped her up in a hug. “What happened? What do you mean, over?” I whispered softly into her ear, not letting her go as I clung to her shaking body.

She pushed me away a little bit and plopped right onto the sidewalk, patting it for me to take a seat next to her. “Kyle has been cheating on me for months. I found some of his emails and credit card receipts. These stupid trips he’s been taking haven’t been for work. Apparently her name is Chloe, and she lives in Miami. That bastard even flew her to our house when I was away on business the last time.”

“Does Kyle know you figured out his secret?” The words came out exuding hatred for the scumbag and a few visions of me punching him in the face crossed my mind.

She shook her head. “I am planning on kicking him out tomorrow night when he gets home from screwing his whore. I figured let him have one more hurrah and I can have mine before our world turns upside down.”

I raked my fingers through my hair, horrified by the pain that she was in. “Oh honey, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Come on Mags. You have so much going on, and I’m freaking embarrassed. You were always right about Kyle and I just never listened.”

“Oh sweetie, this isn’t about being right or wrong or who has what going on. You’re my best friend and if you need me, I’ll be there, no matter what.”

With that, I climbed to my feet and helped Cali up. I rubbed away the black streaks her eyeliner was making and we went into the party, promising to have fun for the rest of the night.

I let Cali do her thing. She danced and flirted with Maverick all night and had a ball. It was nice to see that she was having a great time in the midst of such a terrible circumstance. Fallon and I ended up hanging out and talking. I found out she was about three months pregnant and therefore the perfect person for me to be around while I was trying to sober up to drive.

Cali stumbled over to me and in her drunken slurred speech, she barely got out, “This is one of the best days of my life. I love you, Margret McManus!” With that, she slumped down on the couch next to me and that was my queue to drive her home. Maverick helped me carry her to the car.

Once Cali was bulked in, I started to make my way to the driver’s side as Maverick turned to head back to the party. He spun around quickly, “Hey, Mags?”

Halfway into the driver’s seat, I called back to him, “Yeah? What’s up?”

He shyly grinned and trotted over to my side, shoving a piece of paper in my hand.  “Make sure Cali calls me. OK?”

I gave him a quick nod. “Yeah, for sure. Thanks for everything Maverick!”

He gave me a quick wave and headed back into the hotel as I opened the crumbled loose leaf to read:

Cali, tonight was amazing.  Don’t let that annoying twat piss on you like that! You’re too beautiful and kind for that. Call me!

-Maverick

I smiled over at my best friend, her head leaning against my window, a little bit of drool escaping from the corner of her mouth.
This was a crazy ass night.
I slid the paper into her handbag and pulled out of the valet section of the hotel. The whole ride back home, Cali dozed and snored while I jammed out to the radio. Once we pulled into the driveway, I was able to shake her awake enough for me to help her into the house and up into my bed. I remembered the last time she slept over and did not want to suffer her wrath again for holding out on her.

I changed Cali into some of my pajamas and slid under the covers next to her, and in her half sleeping voice, she muttered, “Love youuuu,” and was out for the night. A huge smile spread over my face as I tucked her in a little bit tighter.

Before turning out the light, I rattled off a quick text to Walker, kind of surprised I hadn’t heard from him all day.

Just got back from an insane adventure with Cali. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow and have my fish dinner. Night.

There was no reply while I sat up and watched mindless infomercials until I finally fell asleep from the sheer exhaustion of our crazy day.

I
n the morning, Cali and I woke up at the same time. We lazily cuddled in bed for awhile, talking about her game plan for when Kyle came home later on that day.

“But, what if he refuses to leave?” I knew it was an odd question but it had been bugging me. I pictured myself having to go over to her house and beat up a freaking cop so he would leave my best friend alone.

“He’ll leave. Once he knows, I’m sure it will be a relief for him to be rid of me and the burden.” She punched her pillow a few times, exaggeratedly groaning. “I’m going to head home and get his shit packed up so I don’t have to deal with it anymore.”

I offered to go and help, but she declined, claiming that it was going to be her therapy session and needed to break things and cry alone. I understood, and knew that if it got rough or if she needed me, she would call this time; I made her promise.

After Cali left, I sulked around the house for a while until my boredom took total control in Walker’s absence. Waking up without him on a Sunday morning used to be my only option. But I had become accustomed to having company, and warmth was starting to fill the emptiness again. I got out of my pajamas and made a little breakfast, deciding to clean the house up a bit.

Since Walker really didn’t use his room anymore, I started in there and began to make it back into the guest room it used to be. I got the vacuum out of the hall closet and dragged it into the room. I collected all of Walker’s clothes out of the drawers and closet, and made room for them in mine, stripped the bed, put new sheets on and then began to vacuum. After passing the vacuum a few times under the bed, I felt it hit something light.

I got down onto the floor and found a journal with Walker’s name engraved in the leather on the front. I sat on the freshly made bed, trying to convince myself to be respectful of Walker’s privacy.

My concentration was broken when my cell vibrated in my pocket. There was a text from Walker shining on the screen:

Sorry I haven’t been in touch, no service. We’ll be home in about four hours, maybe a little more. Can’t wait to see you too!

I wrote a quick message back:

OK see you soon, drive safe

When my screen went black, I went against my better judgment and let curiosity get the better of me. I flipped the front cover open and read the date on the top of the first passage, realizing that Walker started it the day he and Randy got deployed. My heart started pounding and I skimmed through the pages until I found the day Randy died. Terror came over me as I read the passage of a story I was never supposed to read:

Today the biggest mistake happened and I don’t know how I am fucking going to live with it. The plan completely went to hell. I am the one that was supposed to fucking be dead, not him. Randy and Mags were supposed to live happily ever after with me out of the picture, not seeing it any more. But now I am here stuck in this torturous hell of guilt, longing and shame. How will I ever look into her eyes again? She loves him, not me and that’s how it was supposed to be. Fuck! Why did he have to grab my chute?