Cowboy Love (19 page)

"I don't want to hurt him, Chris, and I'm afraid I'm going to." She pulled at the cinch strap under the belly of the horse.

"Why would you?"

"I'm confused. I don't know what my feelings are for Jack and now things have gotten complicated between me and Tanner."

"I thought you didn't want anything more to do with Jack."

"I don't or at least I don't think I do. Hell, I'm not sure what I want anymore. No more talk of him. Let's go check out the competition."

The two women sat in the stands for a while, enjoying watching the bronco riding event until Amy made a trip to the bathroom before her and Jason's had to ride. As she approached the restroom, Jack stepped out from between two vehicles.

"Amy, I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Too bad," he said, grasping her arm tightly in his hand and dragging her to a secluded area behind the bathroom.

"You can't push me around, Jack." She pulled her arm from his grasp.

"Are you seeing that guy that hit me at your apartment?"

"What do you care? I need time to decide what I want and you pushing me doesn't help, but then again, you never did care what I wanted, did you?"

Trying to pull her into his arms, he said, "I can give you the things you like, Amy. I'll pay your rent, buy you things," he murmured, trying to nuzzle her neck.

She pulled back. "You want me to be your mistress?"

"If that's the name you want to use. I love you."

"Then why did you cheat on me and hit me?"

"It only happened once, babe. I swear it won't again."

"That's your story now Jack, but at the next stop, you'll find some skinny little bimbo to warm your bed while I'm at home working my ass off. No thanks." She stepped back, putting more distance between them as she continued. "You know, I considered getting back together with you, but now I know you don't care about me at all, my mind has been made up. You can't understand how someone could walk away from you, can you? I really hope someday you find the girl you are madly in love with and she cheats on you, just like you cheated on me." She pulled away from him. "And yes, I'm seeing that guy. Tanner cares about me for me, not what I can do for him and he's better in bed than you." She knew her raised voice could probably be heard all over the growing crowd, but she didn't care. "So take your proposition and shove it up your ass!"

"If you want to go to him, that's fine. You were nothing more than a hot piece anyway," Jack snorted.

"Fuck you." Amy turned on her heel and stomped out into the crowd just as Chris rounded the corner.

"Are you okay? I saw Jack push you in here."

"I'm fine, pissed off but fine." Her back ramrod straight, she quickly walked to her truck, disappearing around the front of her horse trailer. She sighed heavily and shook her head, her heart lighter as she realized her affection for Jack did not run as deep as she thought.

* * * *

For the rest of the two weeks, Amy's feelings for Tanner became more and more apparent. She sat by the phone, wishing he would call, but not giving in to calling him herself until after the full two weeks.

One day at the hospital, Chris asked her, "When are you going to give up and call him?"

"I can't, Chris. I caused him so much pain when he left and after our disagreement on the phone when he got home, I think I need to give things a little more time."

"Don't give him too much, Am. You might lose your opportunity. He might move on without you."

Almost two weeks to the day he met her at the rodeo, she gave up. She picked up her cell phone. Her heart skipped a beat and her hands started to shake when she heard, "Hello?"

"Yeah?" The question in his voice gave her pause and made her nervous.

"Hey. How have you been?"

"Good. Working a lot."

"Yeah, I've been keepin' busy, too."

"Are you playing at the bar this weekend?"

"Tonight, yes."

She whispered into the receiver, crossing her fingers, hoping he hadn't given up on her. "Can I see you?"

"Are you drivin' down here?"

"I can, if you'll see me. I miss you," she murmured.

"God, baby, I miss you, too. I can probably get the guy to switch with me so we can have some time together," he answered. "I'll call him real quick and find out then I'll call you back. I don't want you drivin' down here for one day."

"I don't care how much time we have. I'll throw some things in a bag and leave in the next couple of minutes. Call me on my cell when you find out. That way I'll know where to find you."

"Okay. I'll call you back." She heard a click as he hung up and she headed into the bedroom.

She threw some clothes in a bag and grabbed a couple of things to eat on the way. Stuffing her phone in her purse, before she grabbed her keys and her bag, she locked the door and shut it behind her. Her stomach quivered like a thousand butterflies fluttering around as she almost ran to her car. She threw her bag in the back, and as she slid into the driver's seat, her cell phone rang again. She checked the phone number and smiled.

"Hey. He said he'd take tonight." She thought she heard a smile in his voice and her heart soared.

"Where do you want me to meet you?"

"Can you find your way back to my parents' place?"

"I think so, but I don't have Chris' GPS. How about I call you when I get into town and you can direct me."

"Okay. I'll talk to you in four hours."

"I can't wait."

Apprehension clenched her gut and she sighed, trying to calm her nerves. She put on some music, but had to be aware of her foot on the gas pedal as the speedometer closed in on ninety.

About four hours later, she drove into the outskirts of Brenham and picked up her cell, hitting redial to call him back. Her heart thumped loudly in her ears as anticipation rolled through her.

When he answered, she said, "I'm here."

"Great. I got to thinkin'. Why don't I meet you at the burger place on the left as you come into town? That way I don't have to worry about you getting' lost."

"Okay. I think I see it now so I'll pull over and wait for you."

"I'll be there in about ten minutes."

"See you then."

She sat in the car at the burger shop, nervously waiting for him to arrive, her stomach in knots. The drive from Dallas had been the longest she had ever made. Even the trip from Oregon didn't seem as long as this one. When he pulled into the parking lot, she got out of her car and walked around to the driver's side of his truck just as he got out. She stared for a few seconds, trying to take in everything about him that might have changed in the last two weeks. After a minute or so, she threw her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly as his arms slipped around her with a groan.

Stepping apart, he gave her one of his sexy grins. "Do you want to follow me back?"

"Sure. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to leave my car here." She stepped back a little. He raised her hand to his lips, brushing them softly across the knuckles, sending a shiver down her back.

"I'll see you when we get there."

"Okay," she said, heading to her car.

She followed him to his parents' place, pulling in behind him as his mother and father stepped out of the house onto the front porch.

Getting out of the car as Tanner came around to the driver's side, embarrassment colored her cheeks when she thought of how this must look to them. "This probably looks bad to your parents. I should get a room in town," she whispered for his ears only.

"I don't want them to think I'm loose or something if I stay here with you."

"Right now, all they know is you drove down so we could spend some time together. We'll worry about sleepin' arrangements later tonight." He slipped his arm around her waist as they walked toward the front door.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis."

"I thought we had that straightened out before. It's Scott and this is Mary," he said, introducing his wife.

"I'm sorry, Scott. It's nice to meet you, Mary," Amy replied with a smile.

"I'm glad you came by to visit. How have you been?"

"Good. I've been keeping busy."

"Dad, did I tell you Amy and her partner got first in the rodeo up in Fort Worth a couple of weeks ago?"

"No, you didn't tell me. That's great!" Scott exclaimed. "I'm proud of you."

Amy blushed under the compliment.

"Did you come down
just
to see Tanner?" Mary questioned skeptically.

"Yes, ma'am, but I thought I would visit Chris' parents, too. They were so nice to me when I visited."

"I'm sure Catherine would love to for you to visit. Lunch will be ready soon, Tanner. Don't disappear."

"Well, I've got work to do in the barn. I'll talk to you kids later," Scott told them as he stepped down from the porch.

"Your mother doesn't like me," Amy murmured to Tanner as she watched the woman retreat into the house.

"You're kiddin', right?"

"No, she's judging me for coming down here."

"No, she's not. She's protective of me. I'm sure she doesn't want me to get hurt again."

"I'm sorry. I probably should have thought about this more before I came down here, but I wanted to see you."

She met his eyes and the question burned bright in his gaze, the question she came to give him the answer to, if he wanted to hear what she had to say.

"What would you like to do?"

"Spend time with you. That's what I came here for," she murmured, sliding her arm around his waist and stepping in front of him.

"Mmm…I'm sure we can think of somethin'." Tanner groaned as her breasts pressed against his chest.

"I hope you are thinking the same thing I am," she whispered as she tilted her head back.

"Maybe. I want to get you alone so I can find out if we are thinkin' the same thing."

"Could be fun. But…"

"I think we need to talk," she said, pulling away from him. "Can we go up to your place?"

Raising his eyebrow questioningly. "Sure, but I have one question."

"Am I going to like this or not?"

With a wry smile, she replied, "Maybe…"

"That isn't an answer."

"I know." She pulled away and headed toward the barn, Tanner close on her heels. They walked up the stairs to his apartment, and as he pushed open the door, memories of their time spent up there came flooding back. Making love with him had really been the start of her feelings. Even then she knew he had become important to her, too important to let Jack mess things up.

She walked toward the couch and took a seat as he asked from the kitchen, "Would you like somethin' to drink or eat? I think my mom expects us for lunch at the house, but I have a few things in here to drink."

"Whatever you have is fine." She nervously wiped her palms across the thighs of her jeans.

Tanner grabbed two beers from the refrigerator and handed her one as he approached the couch and sat down.

"So what's this all about?"

She took a long drink to steady her nerves. "I had a run-in with Jack at a rodeo ten days ago."

"What happened?"

"He pushed me into a secluded corner."

"He didn't hit you did he?"

"No. That's one thing I won't
ever
put up with again."

"We had a conversation, and he told me I was nothing more to him than a 'hot piece'. I wanted to hit him so bad, I could taste it."

"But you didn't, did you?"

"No. I wish I had though. By the way, you left a pretty nice bruise on his chin."

He laughed and she smiled.

"I can picture you takin' a swing at him, but you need to be careful. He could have hurt you."

"I couldn't help it. When he said that, I realized he never cared for me, I mean, not the way he kept saying he did. He only said he loved me because he knew I was pulling away from him. I don't think anyone has ever told him no before. I'm sure his ego took a beating, but I don't care."

"Oh, darlin'. It doesn't matter now." He pulled her into his arms and she willingly slid into his embrace.

"I'm sorry about what happened at the apartment, Tanner." She rubbed her face against his shoulder, loving the feel of his arms around her.

A frown on his face, he asked, "Sorry we made love?"

"No! Never that," she exclaimed, pulling back in his arms. "I'm sorry that I made such a mess of things, the whole thing with Jack. I should never have told him I'd talk to him the next day or any day. He caught me off guard."

"It was obvious by how upset you were you still cared for him, even just a little. We can't always turn off our affection like a faucet." He looked down and she hoped her feelings reflected bright in her eyes.

"I know," she whispered leaning against him again as he stroked her back. "I know now, though, I don't want anything more to do with him. He's my past."

"So, what happens now?" Tanner murmured, kissing her hair as he pulled her closer.

"That depends." She slid her hand across his stomach, smiling when she heard him take a sharp breath.

"On what?" She heard the groan rumble in his chest.

When she lifted her face, the tight control he held onto his body reflected on his face, control she wanted desperately to take away from him. At this moment, she wanted nothing more than to feel his hands on her, his mouth on her breasts and let him make her feel loved.

As he finally opened his eyes, she stared deeply into them and said, "On you."

Chapter 14

"I'd do anythin' for you."

"There is something I need to say, but I want to make sure you understand what I'm telling you." Amy held his gaze with her own.

"What?" His voice came out in a tortured moan.

"I love you, Tanner," she whispered, not lowering her eyes.

She wanted him to see the truth, to know what she said reflected the feelings in her heart, but when he wasn't able to finish, the pain nearly brought her to her knees. He couldn't say it. He couldn't tell her he loved her. She finally lowered her head, trying to hide the tears pooling at the corners of her eyes while she tried to stand. She needed to get away from here, from him. She thought the pain she experienced when she found out Jack had lied to her broke her heart, but nothing compared to this. The razor sharp teeth of the knife tearing her heart to ribbons was more than she could bear.