Covet Not (41 page)

LXXIII

Sophia might've regretted her
plan as she wiped her mouth with a wet washrag. She’d heard of Morning Sickness
coming back in the second trimester, but she’d not suffered through the first.
Just a few issues with smells and tastes.

Currently,
her misbegotten husband wreaked of what was no doubt some sort of old Texas
remedy. The smell of him had her running to the toilet more often than not.

It had been
four days since. He coughed up blood, more than just from his raw throat. He
reveled in the pain of it.

James needed
a doctor, but they would know. They would see his tonsils coated with an
abomination.

He hoped that
freak was nice and comfortable. He'd wanted to give them both a week, then he
would tie them up while they watched him fuck Clara before shooting all three.
But he couldn't wait any longer. He'd fetched his pistol from his closet while
Sofia was asleep. He kept one loaded away from his rifles because he was a
marginally better shot and he didn't want the boys to know about it.

He would have
to kill Jude if he were in the barn, but he would not kill the pretty one. He
would bind him, gag him, and stow him away in the trunk of his car.

The police
would be looking for him. He'd killed the youngest Agnesson boy, and that just
wouldn't do. James would keep him alive somewhere, but every day he would wish
for death. James would be his god, and only he could grant it. And how he would
make that boy worship him. The boy would die only knowing the taste of him.

He put the
gun in the back of his waistband and walked out of the room. Sofia was sitting
on the chair, reading something ancient from his grandfather's collection of leather
bound classics, all foreign, and drinking her juice. He took a moment to try
and appreciate her beauty, and she was beautiful to him, but even as he began
to feel any kind of contentment with her, he felt stifled. But once she’d
announced her pregnancy, he had a few days of something that mirrored normal
affection, but it began to be a chore. The baby was the only reason he
tolerated her mouth. “I'm going to walk a bit. Get some fresh air,” he mumbled
as he slipped on his shoes that were by the door.

She looked at
him shrewdly. “How are you feeling?”

“Terrible,
still. But, I need to walk a bit.”

Sofia went
back to her book. “It's a good idea. Don't overdo it though. I made you some
soup. Maybe you can try a few sips of it when you return?”

James smiled
insincerely. “Thank you. I will try a little.” He opened the back door and
walked toward the barn.

Sophia ran
for the back window. She watched him pull the pistol out while walking toward
the barn door. She grabbed her mobile phone and sent a message to Jared. There
weren't any cellular towers operational except in the city, but all phones came
equipped with picking up wireless Internet if you knew how to access it. Jared
had the brains to pick up a few before they left El Paso, and hooked them up so
they could communicate. Jude brought her one when James was sequestered. She
was a little embarrassed that she didn't think of it herself.

SH:
He's finally left his room. He's walking
towards the barn and he's brought a gun. Stay vigilant.

JA:
Will do. Thanks.

She deleted
the message and hid the icon.

James knew
she had the phone, but he didn't know that it was wireless enabled. She told
him it kept her calendar and a few number and word games. Some classical music
and photographs of their small impromptu wedding.

Everything on
the phone was meant to distract him from what she kept hidden. And even if he
found it, though improbable, she would play dumb. She had told him her father
had given it to her when he got a new one.

But if it
came down to it, she could message Jared, and delete the electronic mail
application.

She knew what
transpired between Raphe, Jude, and James. She didn't approve, but she kept
that to herself.

Raphe was
entitled to a bit of violence, but everyone was it seemed, and she needed all
of them to have their heads on straight. Not to be marred by too much emotion
and entitled revenge.

She knew with
certainty that he’d done away with Selene, so she felt a bit of entitlement as
well. But she was patient. She wasn’t going to be clouded with irrational
anger.

She kept
watch and hoped she didn’t hear any gunshots. She knew the boys would shoot him
if they felt threatened.

Jude’s place
was unlocked, but James announced himself anyway. He’d expected it to be empty,
but it didn’t look lived in at all. The bed was made, no dishes in the dry
sink, and the only noise was the low hum of the refrigerator.

All of
Clara’s clothes were gone.

He stepped
back out on the porch, the gun now firm in his grip. He looked towards the
woods, but he wouldn’t be able to see any artificial light at this hour. He
needed strength and the cover of night to go to his father’s old hunting cabin.

After what
had happened, they must’ve ran. They knew that James would be coming.

He noticed a
glass on the wooden railing that he’d missed when he got there. It was one of
the glasses that Sofia used to make Clara’s breakfast.

James went to
grab it, and at the bottom was a thick and viscous pale substance. He stumbled
backward as the smell and taste assaulted him.

He dropped
the glass, and as he looked down at the numerous shards, they were all clear
and reflective. There was not a sign that it had been a perfectly clean glass
to begin with.

The taste had
returned though, and with it, the smell.

LXXIV

His anger was absolute. It was
a tangible thing, harder to hold than smoke, but still suffocating and deadly.
He needed to leave, but he was in no condition to. He didn’t care.

James needed
to
end
someone for this mania to be sated. He didn’t want to hurt the
baby, because he would cease to be once Sofia gasped her last breath.

So, he had to
go.

He knew about
the queer area across from the seminary at the University of Austin. It was a
club with a variety of rooms, or so he’d been told.

When asking
for recommendations for hotels in the downtown area, it was this area that he
was warned about. He was told it was a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. It
sounded like a great place to purge his demons.

He told Sofia
that he would see a doctor in the morning, and said he would get a room there
tonight. She let him go, fearful that he’d get her sick.

He had lost
any desire he had for her. She was too strong and independent. He’d gotten her
too late. Her father was a poor excuse of a man for not desiring a meek and
obedient daughter.

Still, the
baby would be perfect. Their son would be who his sons could never be: a god
among men. Maybe once he was born, James could appreciate having a warm body in
his bed.

Maybe he
would appreciate it once he’d taken care of those who was forcing his hand.

James parked
and walked slowly down an alley. The sounds of the city were still present, but
muffled easily as he walked further down the alley. His footfalls grew silent,
so that he could observe the sounds of others close.

He stepped to
the side when he noticed a young man with dark hair, so dark that even the dusk
couldn’t hide it. He leaned against the wall for a moment to watch him. It was
difficult, as dusk was hard to transition his vision, but the boy was striking.
He’d hoped for a blond, but maybe this would be better for the boy. Maybe he
wouldn’t feel the urge to kill, and James would allow him to spit afterwards.
Too soon to tell.

But it’s not
like their kind didn’t deserve to die. God or no, men were meant to take. The
world would end if they didn’t.

James pushed
off the wall and walked toward the young man.
“It's probably not safe to be out here alone.”

The boy stood
up straight. “I'm not alone.” He looked a little frightened, but James could admit
he meant to be intimidating.

“True,” James
conceded with a shrug. But he was already tired of small talk. He started to
unbutton his jeans, watching for any fear, and he walked toward the boy with no
hesitation.

There was a
flash of fear, but enough that the false bravado that came quickly after wasn’t
as nauseating.

His dick was
hard, and he wrapped a hand around himself loosely while he watched the boy
unbutton his own. The smile earned another smile in return and James shoved the
boy against the concrete wall.

It became
clear in a split second that James wanted to fuck, and he wanted the boy to
struggle.

He wanted to
make the boy fear more than just God.

He wanted the
boy to reevaluate whom he must worship when he’s begging for his life, and who
could grant a reprieve.

But so far,
he was much too willing, so James moved his hand around his throat and
squeezed, and the boy bared his throat in return.

No.
James wanted to smash his face against
the wall, and he nearly did. He turned the boy around roughly, pressing his
face against the wall, and yanked both hands behind him. His pants were yanked
down, and James spread him open with his fist that held his dick. He hadn’t
planned for this, so he waited while his mouth flooded with sickening saliva. James
wondered if stomach bile would make things nice and slick.

James was
brought out of his reverie as the young man began to press backwards against
him.

He would have
to be brutal. James spit in the palm of his hand and wet the head of his cock.
He thrust in harshly, reveling as the boy tried to escape. He noticed the
blood, and wanted to see more of it.

But the boy
began to press back. “Fuck me harder, please.”

James grabbed
his throat. “You think you're running things here?”

“Yes. You
don't like that I'm eager, but I'm used to a bigger dick than this.” There was
still pain in that voice, but not enough. So, James yanked his arms back more
and dislocated a shoulder. He was impressed that the boy didn’t scream.

James pulled
out and pushed him down to his knees, and grabbed his hair.

“If you put
that in my mouth, I will spit it on the ground afterwards,” the young man said
defiantly.

“I like my
chances.” James smiled and pressed it against his cheek. If his dick got even a
hint of teeth, he’d bash that fucker’s face in.

 “No.” He
moved his head rapidly from side to side.

A door
slammed and a light shone brightly. James wasn’t even close to satisfied.
Beyond angry, he kicked the boy in the ribs until he killed him. He slid back
in the shadows and watched as the boy was discovered. He palmed his dick and
pulled on it roughly, picturing the boy as he was now, and how he could push in
roughly, just like he had with Selene.

Some itches
could not be scratched. And he didn’t know what to do.

He watched a
larger man, donned in the cloth, carry they young man out of sight. He listened
to their voices to gauge when he could move out of hi

“Is he
breathing?”

“Barely.
He’ll live. It isn’t the first…”

The voices
trailed off and James couldn’t get a handle on his sanity. He would not go home
until he knew the baby was safe from him.

He needed to
think of the blond whore. That was his priority. Find him. Ruin him.
Find
him. Ruin him. Find him. Ruin him.

                                    
LXXV

Shula:
I can't see the stars here.

Jared didn't
have anything to say to that. His chest ached. This is what she chose to tell
him. That they were nothing if they weren’t together.

His heart
felt raw when beating relentlessly thinking of her. Pounding its way out of him
to go home where it belonged.

She was his
home.

Jared:
Soon.

He’d deleted
proclamations of love. She knew. Saying it would derail the entire conversation
into platitudes. She deserved better. But she also deserved better than a
one-word answer to a nonquestion.

Jared:
It’s not enough, I know. Because nothing
is. Nothing could ever be enough. And if there is no God, he was brought to
life just so we could have a Heaven after. Believing isn’t naïve. The loss of a
lover is just too unbearable.

He closed the
computer. He needed to think. He needed to love her like there was nothing
after.

He hadn't
expected to hear from her at all. He assumed all communication would be
initiated by him.

She was still
hurting.

But she
missed him.

It would have
to be enough.

James didn’t
feel well enough to drive all the way back up to Greenville, but the pregnant
girl wasn’t answering any calls. A call to David Snawder went straight to a
disconnection message. James felt everything spiraling out of control.

Jared was
waiting for James to get home from Austin, knowing he was up to something.

“Was your
trip productive?”

James was
silent and just stared at Jared. He wondered if Jared had done something to the
truck and maybe James was lucky to make it home in one piece. He ignored him
and walked up the front steps.

Jared wasn’t
going to let him off that easy. “The baby was named…something lovely, in case
you were wondering. I’ve not seen a lot of babies, but I can’t imagine one
being prettier. Her parents are pretty, though.”

James was
silent

“She does
resemble her father, but I was delighted how much she resembled her mother's
side of the family. Her eyes are identical to her mother's, and to her
grandfather's. Which of course are the same as mine.”

“Say what you
mean.”

Jared smiled
a bit. “Twenty years ago, your daughter lived. Her hair in dim light is flaxen
like a wheat field touched by the sunrise. In the light, it’s the palest gold.”
Jared felt a wave of sadness. “Her eyes are the same as yours.”

James
clenched his jaw. He was having difficulty understanding his son. “I don’t know
what you’re talking about.”

“I should
hate you, I mean I
do
hate you, but I should hate you more because she
was ours. Our blood. But I’m glad she was spared of your thumb. And of Mother
dying. But mostly, she was spared being raised by a psychopath who would’ve
sold her to the highest bidder. And Father? God, she’s beautiful. You could’ve
owned half the state had you kept her.”

“Mr.
Agnesson! The baby is alive! She is breathing on her own! Praise be to God, Mr.
Agnesson!”

It was coming
together for James. His daughter lived and there was a baby. Blonde and blue.
“Tell me where she is.”

Jared would
not torment her last hours with him. It was the kindest thing he’d ever do. “I
can tell you where her body lies when she’s safe from you.”

Things were
even more clear. “Where’s the baby?”

Jared smiled,
insincere as it was. He shrugged. “Last I saw, she was with her father.”

Everything
slotted together. The queer blond and the lovely blonde girl, and the baby he’d
already bought. The child belonged to him. “I need you to tell me exactly where
he is. I can pay him. And bring the baby home.” That boy would probably take a
very small amount, but he’d triple it if it meant Jude would never return. He
had Sofia, and with two young ones, he could start over. Sofia was young. No
doubt she could have a dozen kids if he wished it.

For a second,
he forgot the pain in his throat
. He couldn’t wait
to see her. He couldn’t comprehend his son’s laughter, but when he looked up he
saw there was no amusement. “The closest you’ll get to her is if you make it in
time to see her mother’s dead body before cremation.” Jared smiled, eyes bright
with unshed tears. “Sometimes I used to wonder if it was Mother dying that made
you so cruel, but then when Shula found the grave in the woods, I knew that it
wasn’t her death that changed you. You never changed. That makes the safest
place for Mother and for Josephine is in the ground.”

“Where was
the grave? How do you know it was Josephine’s grave and not anyone else’s?”
James realized his mistake a second too late.

Jared
couldn’t fathom the implication of his father’s question. But he would lie and
play dumb. “We knew Josephine was alive from Raphe. She told him who she was.
And since she wasn’t buried by Mother, we assumed she was lost forever. Shula
came upon a fox digging in the woods. I’m not inclined to tell you where. She
found who we thought was Josephine buried there.”

“What did you
do with her remains?”

Jared had to
think. It was clear that his father had no idea that Josephine was supposedly
buried in the woods, but he sure seemed a little concerned that a body was
found. “We left the remains alone. Eventually, we’d like to move her next to
Mother.”

James remained
quiet for a moment, trying to picture where he’d buried his bastard daughter.
It was closer to Jared’s than he would like, but he would need to go destroy
any remains. “Are you tired of your houseguests?”

Jared wasn’t
expecting the change of subject, but realized it was the only thing left to
discuss. “Not at all.”

“They will
have to come home eventually.”

Jared
shrugged. “They can do what they like.” He looked at his father and smiled.
“There’s one particular story, I don’t seem to tire of.”

James couldn’t
breathe.

Later that
evening, Jared got a call from Ellen. They made it with an hour to spare.

She felt no
pain at the end. Ellen would hold the ashes until it was time to come and
collect half.

They would
add her name to mother’s grave when their father died. Jared thought it would
be a while still.