Courting Constance (Fountain of Love) (4 page)

He patted the cushion beside him, obviously waiting for her to be seated before responding.  “Sit with me, and we’ll talk.”

She sighed.  “There’s no room with you taking up the middle as you are.”  Constance wanted nothing more than to sit close beside him, snuggled against him, but she knew it was a mistake.  Before she’d met him, Lord Charles had held a mysterious power over her.  Now that she knew him?  She didn’t think she’d ever be able to stay away.

He caught her hand and pulled her down beside him, his arm immediately going around her shoulders.  “See?  Plenty of room.”  He leaned over and brushed his lips across her cheek.

She tried to jerk away from him, but he held her against him.  “This isn’t proper, my lord.”

“No, it isn’t, and please, call me Charles.”  He looked down into her eyes as he spoke softly to her.  “I tried to do things properly.  I asked if I could drive you home last night.  I asked if I could take you to lunch today.  I’ve tried everything
proper
I know to do.  Now, I’m doing improper things.”  His eyes held hers as he spoke, and he slowly lowered his head to brush his lips against hers. 

Constance put her hands on his chest to push him away, but found she couldn’t do it.  Her hands slowly wound around his neck, and she pressed closer to him.  What would one kiss hurt?  One kiss to store in her memory forever.

He angled his head and deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the outline of her lips.  When she gasped softly at the feel of his tongue on her, he took advantage and slipped his tongue into her mouth, slowly stroking hers.

She had never been kissed, had never dreamed that a man would kiss her this way.  She clung to his shoulders, her heart pounding madly.  No one had prepared her for the feelings that rushed through her.  Her breasts were pressed against his hard chest, and her body tingled from head to toe. 

She broke the kiss, panting softly.  “I can’t let you kiss me like that again,” she whispered, surprised she’d allowed it the first time.

Charles sighed.  “That’s all I’ve been able to think about since the moment I saw you in my sister’s parlor yesterday.  You take my breath away, Constance.  You make me think about forever, and that’s not something I’ve done in a long time.”

“It can’t be.  I’m sorry.  I have to work, and my employer made it very clear that you are a distraction she’s not willing to allow back in the shop.  The gifts have to stop as well.”  She tried to keep her voice calm and even, but it sounded odd to her ears.  “I have to be able to earn a living, and there are very few places in a small village like ours that will hire a single woman.”

“So stop working.  Come and live with me.  Let me take care of you.”  He didn’t know where the words came from.  He’d never had a mistress live in his home, and he knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.  He couldn’t let her go, though.  The idea of her working bothered him.  She should be in his home, sitting on his sofa reading books or doing embroidery.  She needed to be his.
  He wanted her to have his child growing within her and another on her lap. 

“I can’t be your mistress, Charles.  It’s not in my nature.  When I fall in love, I’ll be in love forever.  There won’t be a stream of men through my life.”
  She didn’t add that she was already in love, because it wasn’t any of his concern if he wanted her to be his mistress.

“I’m asking you for your forever.  Spend it with me.  Live here with me.  I won’t put you in a house somewhere and forget you.  I want you to share my life.”
  How could he convince her that his feelings were real?  He didn’t just want to have relations with her.  He wanted love. 

She sighed heavily.  “I’d love to share your life, but I can’t be untrue to myself to do it.”  She stood up.  “Please stop sending me gifts.”
  What else could she say to convince him?  He had to stop.  She didn’t want to be alone and without a position for the third time in her life.

He stood with her. 
“I won’t send any more gifts…if you’ll have dinner with me tomorrow night.  We won’t go anywhere public if that bothers you.  We can have a quiet dinner right here.”  He watched her face and knew she was about to tell him she couldn’t.  “If you don’t have dinner with me, I’ll send you a puppy to the shop, and we’ll see what happens to your job then.”

“You wouldn’t!”  A puppy would destroy everything.  She couldn’t have an animal there.
  She shook her head, annoyed that he would even threaten such a thing.

Charles caught her hips with his hands and pulled her flush against him.  “I’d do anything for another moment with you.  I’
d give everything I own for another kiss.  All I’m asking for is dinner.  You have to eat.  Eat with me.”  He knew he was being obnoxious.  He just didn’t care if it meant she would be with him.

Constance closed her eyes, knowing she needed to tell him no, but afraid she would lose her job if she did.  Finally she nodded.  “I’ll have dinner with you.”
  What choice did she really have?  She could handle one evening alone with him.  Right?

His mouth swept down and he kissed her again, this one obviously a victory kiss.  He kissed her sweetly, his hands cupping her face as his lips made slow love to hers. 

She moaned, wanting to spend the rest of the night right there in his arms. What was this power he had over her that he could make her act so wanton just by kissing her? 

When he finally lifted his head, he asked, “Did you walk out here?”

She nodded.  “Alice is waiting for me outside.”  She brought her hand to her lips, touching them as if they were foreign objects.  Never had she felt such passion, and all from one kiss?  She would burn alive if he ever did more to her. 

“I’ll take you home then.  Wait here.”  He left the room for a moment, calling to a servant to have the coach readied.  “We’d better go get Alice out of the cold.  Lily would never forgive me if she froze on my front porch.”

Constance smiled.  “It’s not that cold out.”  She was happy that he was worried about her friend.  She didn’t want Alice catching a cold and missing any work.  She was a good friend to her, the first she’d had in a lot of years.

Alice came into the room followed by Charles, and she was rubbing her arms.  “That was a long talk!”

Constance blushed slightly.  If they’d only talked, she wouldn’t feel guilty at all.  Instead, they’d kissed.  Would she ever be able to close her eyes without feeling what his lips felt like on hers again?  “I’m sorry I left you sitting out in the cold so long.  Lord Charles is going to take us home if that’s any consolation.”

Alice nodded smiling as she rushed to the fireplace, still briskly rubbing her arms.  “I’m glad we don’t have to make the walk in the cold and dark.”  She looked at the older woman.  “I told you he’d take us home.”

Constance nodded.  “Yes, you did.”  She stood beside her friend, across the room from Charles. 

Alice smiled at Charles.  “You’re practically considered a saint at the orphanage.”
  She grinned at the look on Charles’s face.

Charles looked startled by her words.  “Why’s that?  I’ve only been there a few times.”
  How could anyone think he was something special?  He did nothing for the orphans that Lily hadn’t browbeaten him into doing.

“Because you let Lady Lily teach us every day when she was here, and you helped support us financially.  You made things better for us all.”

“I did what Lily wanted me to do.”

Alice nodded.  “Your father never helped us, but you’ve been wonderful.”  She turned back to the fire to rub her hands together to warm.  “Thank you for all you did for us.”

“I wish I could have done more,” he said.  “I know you had to leave as soon as you were old enough to be on your own.  We all need to do more so you have a little more time to find positions.”

“You’ve done so much more than most.” 

Constance watched the exchange between the two of them with surprise.  Charles seemed to be very embarrassed by the praise from Alice, which she found interesting.  Most of the nobleman of her acquaintance had bragged about everything they did when they helped others.  To see someone do it quietly surprised her a great deal.  It showed her a new aspect to Charles that she admired more than she was willing to admit, even to herself.

Chapter Four

Constance found herself watching the clock all through the following day.  Charles would be there to take her to his home for dinner at six, and she was both nervous and excited.  Alice had squealed when she told her she’d agreed to have dinner with him just to get him to stop sending gifts to the shop. 

As soon as they finished work, Alice pushed Constance onto her bed and fussed with her hair.  “Oh, you need to wear it just so for Lord Charles.  He watches you like he wants to eat you for dinner.” 

Constance sh
ivered at the thought.  “Well, he certainly watches me closely.  He makes me nervous.”

“He just wants to take you away from your life of toil and despair!”
 

Constance laughed.  “No, he wants me to move into his house and be his mistress.”  She hadn’t meant to say the words, but they popped out of her mouth without her thinking about them.
  She still couldn’t believe he’d asked her to be his mistress.  Did she really seem like a woman with loose morals?

Alice let out a squeal.  “You said ‘yes,’ didn’t you?” 

Constance shook her head.  “My father would roll over in his grave if I became any man’s mistress.  My grandfather was a vicar, and I was raised to be a good Christian.  Having that kind of relationship with a man without the benefit of marriage is not something I could do.”

Alice sat down on the bed beside Constance and took her hand.  “I really think you should.  I know that seems crazy, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you.  He’s not just thinking of you as an object of his lust.  He cares about you.”

“We just met last night!  He doesn’t care about me.  He’s only interested in my favors.”  She stood and peered in the tiny mirror on the wall.  “I wish I could just not go.  When he kisses me, I lose all my senses.”  She shouldn’t have even thought about his kisses.  Her lips started tingling again at the mere thought of his lips against hers.

“He kissed you?” Alice’s eyes were wide.  “Did you like his kisses?  Johnny at the orphanage used to kiss me all the time, before he left to work in a coal mine.  I like
d it when he kissed me.” 

Constance looked at the younger girl with surprise.  “You were kissing the other orphans?”
  She couldn’t believe the sweet eighteen year old orphan in front of her had more experience with the opposite sex than she did.

Alice shrugged, her eyes full of mischief.  “Well what else were we supposed to do on cold winter nights?”

Constance shook her head with a laugh.  “I think you’re a lot naughtier than people know when they first meet you, Alice.” 

Alice smiled.  “Of course, I am.  It’s what makes me so much fun!”

There was a knock on the door then, and Constance took a deep breath, her hand going to her flat stomach.  She was wearing her best dress, but it was old and worn.  Mrs. Jackson had promised they would make her a new church dress as soon as they had a lull in business, but business seemed to pick up a little more every day.  She walked to the door and opened it, staring out at the man standing on her doorstep.  He held a huge bouquet of flowers in his hand that he presented to her with a bow.  “Your carriage awaits, milady.”

Constance couldn’t help but laugh at his formal manners.  “You’re silly.  I’m supposed to be curtsying to you.  You shouldn’t bow to me!”  She gave the bouquet to Alice as she took his arm.  “
Put those in water for me please.  I’ll be home early.”

Charles called back over his shoulder, “Not if I can talk her into staying out late.”  He took her to the carriage and helped her up, taking the seat beside her instead of across from her.  “Tomorrow’s Sunday.  You have the day off, don’t you?”

Constance nodded.  “I do.  That doesn’t mean I’ll be out until all hours, though.”  He obviously was trying to push her to stay with him, and she wasn’t going to do it.  She had morals even if he didn’t.

“Oh, of course not.  You could stay at my house, though.  There are so many bedrooms you could choose one, and I might not find you for days,” he exaggerated.
  He didn’t add that he’d search until she was found with the help of all the servants if necessary.

“I don’t think that would be wise, but thank you for your offer.”  She fiddled with the gloves she wore, the gloves he’d sent her as a gift.  “I’m not sure what you want from me.”

Charles put his arm around her shoulders and settled comfortably beside her.  “Nothing you don’t want to give.  I promise.”  He buried his face in her hair as he spoke, obviously thrilled to have her beside him again.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.  I should have stayed at home with Alice.”

He brushed his lips against her cheek.  “This is a very good idea.  We’ll talk and get to know one another better.  You said your parents were gentry?”

She nodded.  “
Yes they were, and then I was with Lady Graves for eight years.”  Eight very long years.  She didn’t tell him that, though.  She’d been taught to never complain.  Lady Graves had provided shelter and food for her belly.  It hadn’t always been champagne and roses, but very little in life was.

“Did you enjoy your position with her?”  Charles had his own opinions of the lady in question, but he didn’t want to color her response.

Constance thought hard before answering.  “I was grateful to her for giving me a place to go after my parents’ death.  I don’t know where I would have been otherwise.  I had no family and nowhere to go.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.  What was it like to work for her?”

Constance shrugged, again choosing her words carefully.  “She was very set in her ways, but as long as I did what she wanted, and did it well, she was happy.”  She didn’t add that she was never able to do things exactly the way the other woman wanted.  If Constance took her hot chocolate in the mornings, Lady Graves wanted tea.  If Constance took her tea, then Lady Graves had always wanted chocolate in the mornings.  Nothing was ever good enough, but Constance had done her job without complaining.

“She was an old harridan.”
  Charles’s voice was filled with animosity as he made his declaration.

Constance bit her lip to stifle her giggle.  She wouldn’t agree with him, because she felt too much loyalty to the old…harridan, but she was thrilled deep down that others had seen her for what she was.  “Don’t speak ill of the dead,” she chastised.

He laughed.  “Well, you won’t, and someone has to!”

Her laughter erupted from her chest.  “You’re horrible.”
  How could she laugh at something that was said with so much spite?

“So was she!  She used to chase the children from the orphanage off her property.  Everyone hated her.”
  Charles may have been exaggerating a bit when he said everyone hated her, but most people in the area had not been fond of her. 

Constance sighed.  “She gave me a home when no one else would.  I will be forever grateful to her for that.”

He shook his head.  “I’m sure you worked twenty times harder than anyone else she’d hired, so she was happy with you.”  He squeezed her hand.  “You’re a good woman, Constance.”

“I try to be.”  She thought about what Alice had said about how she should take him up on his offer, and she knew she couldn’t.  He thought she was a good woman.  His opinion of her would change drastically if she became his mistress.

They pulled up in front of his house, and he waited until the coachman put the steps down before he helped her down.  “I’m glad you decided to accept my dinner invitation.”

Constance laughed.  “You didn’t really leave me with any choice.”
  She was glad now that she was there, though.  She wanted him to be with her every minute and was glad to have this special time with him.

He smiled mischievously.  “I needed to get to know you.  I’ve learned to get my way over the years.”

“It must be nice being an earl.”

He thought about that for a moment, even though she obviously hadn’t meant it as a question.  “It can be.  Lately I find myself wishing that I’d been born
to a different family though and had a different fate.”  He looked into her eyes as he told her that, making it clear that it was her he’d change his fate for.

“Why would you ever wish that?”  Constance couldn’t understand what he would have to complain about when he’d been born into money and influence.

“If I had been born the butcher’s son, you’d be planning our wedding today.  I was born the son of an earl, though, so I don’t get to marry the only woman I’ve ever met who has made me even think about spending my life with her.  Instead, I have to go to town and look over the ladies on the marriage mart.  What was it that Lily called them?”  He thought for a moment.  “Oh yes, ‘the mass of marriage-minded misses.’”  He took her hand and brought it to his lips.  “Today, I want to be Tom the baker’s son.  Would you pretend with me?  We’ll talk about how wonderful our lives will be as we plan how many children we’ll have and what their names will be.”

Constance frowned.  “I can’t pretend that, because when I go home, you’ll still be an earl, and I’ll still be the woman who works the front counter of the only seamstress in the village.”
  She shook her head.  Her heart would be broken giving up the beautiful dream.  No, she had to keep her feet firmly on the ground where they belonged.

Charles put her hand in the curve of his arm and led her into the house.  “You can’t pretend just for one night that we have a future ahead of us?  That we’re going to marry and have a huge number of little blond babies.”

She smiled up at him.  “I’d rather they were dark like you.”  She hadn’t meant to let those words escape her lips.  She had to stop playing along with him.

He led her to the dining room and pulled out the chair beside his.  After he’d taken his seat, the soup was served, and she picked up her spoon for her first bite.  “Do you want children, my lord?”

“Please call me Charles.  At least for tonight, our one special night together, call me by my name.”  His voice practically begged her to agree.

“Of course, Charles.”
  It was too important to him for her to agree.  She would do anything to make him happy.  Anything but compromise her morals of course.

“I do want children.  I didn’t before, but suddenly, all I can think about is having children.”  He took her hand in his.  “And making children of course.  I would be honored to make children with you.”
  He brushed the palm of her hand with a kiss, sending a shiver down her spine.

Constance blushed.  “If you were to make children with me, they would be bastards.  You’d never marry me, so your children would never see the kind of wealth and privilege you expect in life.”

“Why do you say that?”  He didn’t understand her argument, but he was more than ready to hear her out and rebut it.  He had to rebut it, because he needed her in his life.

S
he sighed.  “I know that noblemen don’t marry their mistresses.  I may have been raised in the country, but I’m not ignorant.”  She almost wished she hadn’t known better, because it would have made her happy for a time to be with him, but she couldn’t do it.

“Constance, I’d marry you tomorrow if I could.”

She shrugged.  “You can’t, though.  I can see that as well as you can.”  She knew he could if he chose to, but what nobleman would choose to risk his reputation to marry a shop girl?  Why would anyone do that?

“So move in with me.  I won’t marry anyone.  It will be like we’re married.  I’ll send my brother to represent me in parliament, and we’ll stay here in the country rusticating.  We can have babies.  They’ll never know the difference.”
  His voice was pleading as he made his case.  He had to have her beside him, whether he understood why himself or not.

She shook her head.  “I’ll know the difference.  I can’t do that to my children.  I can’t do that to myself.”  She stared down at her soup, suddenly angry with the whole situation.  “I wasn’t born into wealth.  My family was poor.  We always had food in our bellies, but we didn’t have the kind of wealth you have.  I’ve never expected to be the wife of a nobleman.  It’s not something I’ve ever aspired to.  I look at you, though, and I see so many possibilities.  I see a man I could be genuinely happy with, but who won’t see me because we’re not of the same class.  I’m just a toy to you.”
  She wanted to be more though.  She’d never wanted anything in her life as much as she wanted to be of noble birth at that moment.

He threw down his napkin.  “A toy?  You are a woman to me.  A beautiful loving woman.  I want to spend my life with you, but I don’t have a choice.”

She shrugged.  “What’s the good of being an earl if you won’t marry the person you want to marry?  You can’t make any real choices.  It sounds to me like you’re more limited in life than Johnny the baker’s son, and that’s really ridiculous.”  And deep down she knew he could make the choice if he wanted to.  That’s what upset her so much.  He acted as if he had no choices in the world, but he did.  He
could
marry her.  He
chose
not to.

“Sometimes it is.”  He shook his head.  “I want to spend my life with you, Constance.  I saw you and knew you were the woman meant for me.  Please come live with me in my huge house.”
  He’d never expected the world to be handed to him on a silver platter.  He’d wanted so few things in life, and the one he wanted more than anything was out of reach?  Why?