Courage in the Kiss (23 page)

It took three hours to pack, change his schedule, and fly home. The whole time, Hadley sat next to him and held his hand, as though terrified that he would disappear.

Maxx was worried about her and how she was taking the pregnancy, but he wanted to give her a day or two to get used to the news, before he confronted her about it. It would take time for the idea to sink in.

Hadley was still young, just a baby herself, but he’d help her accept this and let her know that they would be alright.

“Maxx!” Micah shouted as he ran out to meet their taxi. He stopped just a foot away from them, as he helped Hadley out and took her overnight bag.

He’d offered to stay at the hotel with her, overnight, if that was what she wanted, but Hadley had been in agreement. She wanted to be home, in familiar surroundings. Only, this time, they’d get their time alone together.

Maxx wrapped his arm around her waist, as he carried her bag in his free hand and let the taxi driver bring the rest into the house. “Hey kiddo. Mind getting the door?” he asked, nodding ahead to the closed front door.

“How come you’re home? And why did Hadley go away?” Micah quizzed, sounding confused and a little angry that he’d been left out of the loop.

Since he knew about their relationship, Maxx decided to admit the truth. “Hadley needed me to come home, so she came to get me. Now that I’m back, we all need to sit down and have a chat,” he explained, trying to remain calm and patient.

Micah nodded, somewhat reluctantly, and headed into the house to take their bags from the taxi driver. “Your room?” he asked, as he headed for the stairs.

“If you don’t mind,” Maxx replied, grateful that he was helping out, instead of just hovering and asking questions that he wasn’t going to answer just yet.

His little brother nodded and headed upstairs, as though none of this was out of the ordinary. Since he was taking it so well, Maxx led Hadley into the study and found his father pacing in front of the bay window.

He turned as soon as the door shut. “You’re back. I thought…” he said, only to hesitate.

Maxx picked up that thread quickly before he could start a fight. “Hadley and I agreed that the best place to be right now, is home,” he explained. Leaving it at that, he watched Hadley head for the sofa by the window, and gaze out at the night lifelessly. He didn’t like the look of her; lost and vacant. But he’d tackle that later, when they were alone.

Micah returned after just a few minutes and sat on the bay window, waiting to hear what he had to say.

Maxx began at the beginning and tried to be as clear as possible. “Hadley’s pregnant,” he said, since that was the most important information and where all the rest of it led to. “The baby is mine and we’re going to raise it together. I asked Had to marry me, and she said yes, so we’re engaged. As for living arrangements, we’ll discuss that nearer the time, but, for now, we’re staying here. Together,” he clarified.

He wanted to make sure no one had any doubts about their plans. Not even Hadley. She was lost in a dream right now, distant and scared, so he would take care of her the best he possibly could, until she was ready to face the world again.

The most important thing was fending off his father and making sure he behaved.

“Wow,” Micah said, with a drawn out sigh. “You’re pregnant?” he asked, staring at Hadley, who continued to gaze out the window.

“Yes,” Maxx answered for her, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from her eyes. She didn’t even flinch at the contact. He was terrified that this pregnancy and his acceptance of it had sent her into some kind of shock and that he wouldn’t get his happy, beautiful, smiling Hadley back.

“Holy hell,” Micah muttered, before turning to look up at their dad. “And you’re...okay with this?” he asked, as though Emerson had any say in what they did together.

“I’m very happy for you both,” his dad said with a forced smile. “For the baby. As for how you got here...well, this isn’t the time to discuss it. It’s in the past and you both appear to have made your choice long ago. Now we go forth, to make this child’s life a happy one,” he insisted.

In that, Maxx agreed. He nodded to his father, in gratitude and in agreement. “Exactly. So we all have to chip in and help. Hadley can’t be doing everything by herself anymore,” he warned them both.

She was practically obsessive about her cleaning and taking care of the house, but that would have to slow down a little, if she was going to stay healthy.

“I can keep my room and the library clean,” Micah offered, while rubbing his chin. “And we have the rest of the staff, to sort the cooking and the rest of the house,” he reminded them.

But Maxx hadn’t forgotten. Nor had he forgotten that Hadley wouldn’t be happy unless she was busy. “No, Micah. That’s not what I mean. Had’s pregnant, not terminal. She can still do whatever she wants to do, but we have to keep an eye out, to make sure that she’s taking care of herself. And let’s try not to cause any unnecessary work,” he suggested, absently running his fingers through her hair, as she continued to stare out the window.

“Okay.” Micah nodded, brightening a little now that he knew he didn’t have to take on her chores.

Emerson nodded, but continued to pace as he dug his hands into his trouser pockets. “Quite right. And I think we’ll need to get Ronnie around, to make sure the child is properly provided for,” he said, as though continuing another conversation entirely.

At that, Hadley shifted slightly, and Maxx didn’t have to ask why. He felt the same. “No, Dad. This baby is ours. Had and I will be ones taking care of him. I appreciate the offer and all, but this kid is going to grow up like his mother. He’ll know the toil and rewards of hard work and persistence. He won’t be handed anything on a platter,” he explained. This would be his only warning on the matter.

He knew how Hadley felt about money, especially when it wasn’t earned. He envied that sense of commitment she had, wanting that for their son.

“Her,” Hadley whispered, so faintly that he almost missed it.

It made him smile. “Or her.”

Upstairs, Maxx left Hadley to phone Conway while he ran the bath. He wanted her to take it easy tonight. It had been a long, emotionally chaotic day and he was starting to lose her.

He left the door open between the en-suite and the bedroom, in case she needed him, and also so that he could eavesdrop on her phone call. He wanted to be there, just on the off chance that it all got a little too much for her. Conway had upset her the last time he called, though they all knew it had been an innocent mistake. This time, he had no idea what her best friend was going to say.

“It’s me.”

He could hear Hadley’s voice, as he adjusted the cold tap and listened to the call.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he heard from Conway.

Hadley must have put the phone on speaker, so he stood by the doorway to get a little distance from the running water. “Are you sitting down, or somewhere you can sit down?” she asked, with a hint of hesitation making her voice waver.

“I’m sitting. What is it?” Conway replied, only to go quiet and then speak up again a second later. “Oh my God! Are you and Maxx engaged?” he asked, not giving her any time to answer before he went on. “I knew it. I told you it would happen, Had. I told you that your dreams would come true,” he gushed.

While Maxx appreciated Conway being there for her, this wasn’t helpful.

He walked into the bedroom to find Hadley crying into her hands, as though she could stifle the noise and no one would have to know. He gently eased the phone off the bed and switched it from speaker to a regular phone call.

“Conway, it’s Maxx,” he explained briefly. “Shut up and listen for a minute. Had and I have been having sex. That was it. We were sleeping together and she’s just found out she’s pregnant, so she called you. She wanted you to know,” he continued, refusing to give Conway a chance to argue, yell, or comment.

“She’s devastated. We’re both in shock, and we’re getting married for the sake of the kid. To be a family. It’s not all of her dreams coming true, and she’s having a really hard time dealing with it, so will you please shut the fuck up and be her best friend?” he asked, making sure to be clear about what he wanted.

This wasn’t the time for Conway to gush and be the best friend who always had Hadley on the other end of the phone to brag to and lament with. This time, it was his job to step up to the plate and be there for Hadley.

“Yeah, I can do that,” Conway replied in a daze, sounding as shocked as Hadley was.

Satisfied that he’d got his point across, Maxx handed the phone to his girl and watched her look up at him, flashing that sunshine smile that he loved so much. He returned it with one of his own, and returned to the bathroom to give her some privacy.

Now that he knew how that conversation was going to go, he pulled out his mobile and called out to Rowan. Micah needed someone with him tonight, and maybe for a few days, as he tried to process the fact that he was going to be an uncle. He loved Hadley and had faithfully kept her secret for years, at her request. It was time Maxx thanked him for being there for her, in the only way he could right now.

By the time Hadley sank into the bath tub, he’d called Rowan and convinced him to come over for a sleepover. Hadley had called Ronnie, who was at Jay’s house, and given them the news. At that point, she’d been a little more positive.

But now that she was in the bath, her eyes glazed over again.

“Don’t leave me, Had,” Maxx begged her, sitting by the side of the bath and running his finger under the rim of the water.

Slowly, she turned to him with a frown and shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere,” she admitted, in a soft voice stained with tears. “I was afraid
you
would, but I’m not leaving.”

“You are,” he disagreed, reaching up to caress her hair back from her eyes. The humidity of the hot bath was making it stick to her cheek. “You’re drifting away from me. And I get it. You’re scared, but so am I. All we can do is be here for each other and hope for the best,” he explained, hoping that was enough.

He’d never been good at knowing the right words to say or when to say them, but he was trying. That was all they could do.

“I’ve never had a mother,” Hadley said, finally sounding normal again, without that tightness in her shoulders and that distance in her voice. “My parents died before I was able to remember them. I don’t remember a smell or a sound...there’s nothing left of them. And I never really knew your mother. I know she was nice and smiled a lot, but...I have no idea what it takes to be a mother. Or what I’m supposed to do.”

Maxx let his fingertip slowly trace patterns on her bare arm, as he leaned against the side of the bath and tried to give her the reassurance she needed. “My mother was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. She had hair that was black as night, and eyes that could be deep blue one minute then have three different shades of green in them the next,” he recalled, smiling as he recounted those memories to her.

“My mother was the kind of woman that was painful to look at. She was so beautiful in every way,” he confessed. “When she died, I told Dad that it made sense. That God wouldn’t want anyone that perfect being away from him for too long. That the world was too cruel and evil to leave her in.”

Hadley smiled and turned slightly to fold her arms on the edge of the tub.

They exchanged a smile and brief eye contact, before Maxx was able to continue. “You remind me of her, you know. You have that same fire, that same spark inside you. Like there’s a firework sizzling away inside your soul and it’s not taken flight yet. That, one day, you’re going to explode in this vibrant spray of beauty and I’m not going to be able to look at you anymore,” he said, finally being honest about how he felt.

He couldn’t keep the secret anymore. To see her looking so lost and lonely was a crime, when he was able to take that sadness away. “My mum could make the most amazing pancakes, as well,” Maxx remembered, laughing as he thought about the games they used to play. “She’d tell me that I’d only get my pocket money if I could make my pancakes into a giraffe or a lion, before Dad came downstairs. And I’d try so hard, cutting it into shapes and adding berries or syrup for hair and spots.”

Maxx laughed even more as he thought about the look on his dad’s face, when he walked in to find them making animal noises over their uneaten pancakes. “Mum was special in a way that can’t be duplicated. But, you have it, Had,” he promised. “You have that something that was inside of her. The thing that no one could ever name or figure out. You’ve got it in spades,” he confessed.

Hadley blushed and lay her head on her arms to gaze at him. That light and happiness was back in her eyes now, letting him know that he’d said the right thing somewhere along the way.

“I’m going to take care of you,” he swore, taking her hand and holding it tight. “I won’t be like my dad. I won’t put my work first and forget that I’ve got a family at home. I’ll be home on time, no matter what crops up. I’ll always be home for dinner, and I’ll always make sure our kid knows I love him,” he promised. “Or her,” he added before Hadley reminded him.

“I know,” was all she said.

Then she added her grip to their hands and closed her eyes. At first, he thought she was going to drift again or try to sleep, while he was there to watch over her.

“I’m sorry I did this to us. That I took your dreams away,” Maxx apologised, though he knew the words were too hollow to express how he really felt. “I swear, I’ll make sure you never regret what we have.”

“Maxx,” Hadley said, opening her eyes. A single tear tracked its way down her cheek. “Dreams aren’t meant to come true. That’s why they’re dreams. This time we’ve had together has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just to have a piece of you is a dream come true,” she explained.

The way she expressed herself and the look in her eyes was too much. Maxx couldn’t help but cry with her.

He was as scared as she was, but the excitement of being a dad-to-be and knowing that it was his baby inside of her, outweighed the fear ten to one.

This would be the biggest adventure of his life.

He hoped to hell he didn’t fuck it up.