Country (17 page)

“Are you going out with anyone?” her mother asked her, trying to change the subject, which would at least put them on level ground, without her distorted memories of her father.

“No,” Louise said bluntly. She was a pretty girl, but inclined to be too serious and work too hard. “I haven't met anyone interesting in months. And I'm in no mood to go to parties since Daddy died.”

“You have to go out,” Stephanie told her gently. “You can't just work all the time.”

“Why not? Daddy did. You don't understand, Mom. You've never had a job.” Louise dismissed her as a lowly housewife.

“I had a job when I was your age. I stopped working when I was pregnant with Michael, and Daddy wanted me to stay home after he was born, and then I had you and Charlotte.” As usual, she was defending herself and getting nowhere. “I want to get a job now,” she threw into the conversation.

“Doing what?” Louise looked as if she thought it was a ridiculous idea.

“I haven't figured that out yet.” Stephanie was embarrassed to admit it.

“Why don't you just do volunteer work for the Junior League or something?” She thought it was all her mother was good for, lunching with socialites to plan fashion shows for charity. Stephanie was sure they did good work, but she needed more in her life than that, especially now that she no longer had a husband or kids at home. She wanted to do something meaningful. Her work at the shelter was a start.

“I'd like to do something more important. I like the work I'm doing now at the adolescent homeless shelter,” she explained to Louise, “but I'd kind of like to get a paying job.”

“You don't need one.” The conversation faltered then, and after dinner Stephanie walked her back to her apartment.

“Do you want to have lunch tomorrow?” Stephanie asked her, and Louise shook her head. She looked as though she were eating herself up with grief over her father. It took a lot of energy to keep the fantasy going, and in order to validate it, she had to reject her mother. Stephanie understood it, but she didn't like it, and it was tough being on the receiving end of her daughter's anger. Instead of being angry at her father for dying, as Stephanie had been herself, Louise was furious at her mother for her father's slights.

“I can't,” she said to her mother's invitation. “I have to work on the auction. It's tomorrow night.”

“That's fine. Then I'll leave in the morning.” She had nothing else to do in New York, and had only come to see Louise, which as usual hadn't been pleasant. She hoped that one day it would get better.

“Thanks for coming, Mom,” she finally said as they stood in the doorway of her building. Although not a fancy address, it was modern and clean, and safe for her, with a doorman, which was a comfort to her mother. “I'm sorry I'm still so down about Dad. I just don't know how to get out of it.”

“Maybe you should talk to someone. I am. And it's been helping.”

“He'll still be just as dead if I go to a shrink,” Louise said, and as she said it, she burst into tears and melted into her mother's arms. It was the first sign of closeness Stephanie had felt from her all evening. She held Louise in her arms, and let her cry, and wished there were something she could do to help her, but only time was going to ease the pain she was in. It made Stephanie sad for her. She had been much too young to lose her father, they all were. Louise had taken it the hardest of all of her children, since she had been the closest to him.

“Think about it,” Stephanie said gently, about talking to a therapist.

“I don't have time. I'm too busy. You have nothing else to do. I'm working.” She could never resist taking a swing at her mother.

“You can make time, at lunchtime or after work. I think it would help you.” Louise shrugged and dried her tears again and hugged her mother.

“I'm okay. I just miss him.”

“So do I.” It was true, but Stephanie still had a lot of unresolved issues about him, and now they never would be. She wanted to deal with that before she made any big decisions about Chase. She didn't want to go to him with a lot of heavy baggage. She needed to empty those bags first, and arrive with a clean slate, and she knew she wasn't there yet. Like Louise, she needed more time to heal the pain, although for different reasons.

“Take care of yourself, I love you,” Stephanie said, and hugged her again, and then with a depressed look, Louise waved and walked into her building. It hadn't been an easy evening, but it never was with Louise. She never gave her mother a fair shake, particularly since Bill died.

Stephanie walked back to the hotel in the balmy evening and told Chase about it later. He was sympathetic. He said that in his opinion girls were harder than boys, although he hadn't had too rough a time with Sandy, and she wasn't his child, which made a difference.

“And I'm probably a lot tougher than you are.” He already knew Stephanie was a gentle person, maybe too much so with her daughter who, to him, sounded like she needed a swift kick in the butt to get her going and stop blaming her mother. He wasn't sympathetic to her cause. Everyone had hard knocks in life, which he felt were no excuse to take it out on someone else.

“I think girls have issues with their mothers,” Stephanie said rationally. Louise certainly did. “I am so tired of hearing how fabulous Bill was to them, when in fact he did so little.”

“It sounds like they need a dose of reality about their father,” Chase commented.

“It's too late for that now. You can't malign the dead, even if it's true.”

“So he goes down in history as a saint forever?”

“It looks that way,” Stephanie said, sounding discouraged. And even though she was difficult to be with, she felt sorry for her daughter and helpless to take away her pain over losing her father.

“So when do you leave New York?” he asked, changing the subject.

“First thing tomorrow morning.” He had helped her plan her route. And he was still sorry she wasn't willing to take the bus and tow the car.

“Call me if you have any problem,” he said firmly.

“Can you change a tire long distance?” she teased him.

“No, and don't you do it either. Call a towing service if you have car trouble or a flat tire.”

“I promise.” She was looking forward to the trip, although she hated that it was taking her farther away from him, but the sooner she sorted out her life, the sooner they could be together.

He promised to call her the next day while she was driving, and she knew he would. He had been totally reliable so far, and always kept his word, even when he was busy. He made time for her, and she felt like a priority to him, and she loved it.

She went to bed that night thinking about Louise and wishing that there were some way to help her. But all Louise wanted was her father, which was the one thing her mother couldn't give her. It was a totally no-win situation, and Stephanie was trying to accept it. It was up to Louise to figure it out now, particularly since she didn't want her mother's help. She had to do it on her own.

When Michael and Amanda got back from Nashville, things had been a little rocky between them for a few days. Michael had been withdrawn and distracted. And Amanda was stressed over a new ad campaign she'd been assigned to.

And every day at lunch, Michael stared at the number his mother had texted to him at brunch on Sunday. But he couldn't think of an excuse to call Sandy. And he felt wrong even thinking about it. He had been faithful to Amanda for three years and had only cheated on her once at the beginning, and he didn't want to do anything behind her back now. But finally, on Wednesday, after a tense time with Amanda the night before, he called Sandy.

She had been rehearsing a new song with the band, and they had just taken a break. Bobby Joe had come by and told her he didn't like it. And Sandy didn't like the new drummer Chase was trying out.

“Hello?” She was exasperated when she heard her phone, and she didn't recognize the number.

“Hi,” he said, feeling thirteen years old again. It had been three years since he'd called a woman other than Amanda, and he felt rusty at it, although he'd gone out with a lot of girls in college. “It's Michael Adams. I met you at the concert last weekend, with my
mother…Stephanie…”
He tried to jog her memory, as though he needed to. She knew exactly who he was the moment she heard his voice.

“Hi, Michael.” She seemed happy to hear him. Her voice was soft and breathless. He loved the way she sounded on the phone. “How are you?”

“I'm fine. I was wondering how you were. That was a great concert. You were terrific.”

“Thanks. I was trying out a new song Chase wrote for me. I still need to work on it.” She was thinking of Bobby Joe's harsh criticism of the way she sang it. “What have you been up to?”

“Working. I work for the Atlanta Braves.” She remembered.

“That must be cool, for a guy,” she said, and giggled. “I don't know too much about baseball,” she admitted this time. “I work all the time. Chase is a pretty demanding teacher, but he's the best there is. He thinks I have talent, so he's tough on me. And he works really hard himself.”

“I think so too,” Michael said, about her having talent. He was thrilled to be talking to her. She could have said anything—he just liked hearing her voice, young, breezy, and sexy. “You sing like an angel.”

“That's what my dad used to say. Not everybody thinks so.” She was referring to Bobby Joe. “I love to sing, though. It's great doing something you really love. Do you like what you do?” she asked him.

“I love it. I want to manage a team one day. I need a lot more experience to do it, and I'll probably go to grad school. Would you like to come down for a game sometime?” As he said it, he was wondering how he would pull it off with Amanda. She didn't come to all his games, but she was around all weekend. And what would he do with Sandy once she got there?

“I'd really like that.” She sounded as though she meant it, although she wondered how that would sit with his girlfriend, and then the band started signaling to her that they were going back to rehearsal. “That sounds terrific. I have to go back to work now. We're at rehearsal. Call me again sometime.”

“I'd like that very much,” he said, feeling awkward, but happy that he'd called her. He could just imagine her at rehearsal, with her long blond hair and big blue eyes, singing her heart out.

He thought about her all afternoon, and when he got home that night, Amanda was in an even worse mood. She told him why at dinner, which consisted of the takeout he'd brought home. Amanda didn't cook. Sometimes he did. Or they ate out. Amanda loved going to nice restaurants.

“I have to go to Houston for client meetings all weekend. I hate this new client. They just rejected our whole presentation, and they want to brainstorm with us.”

“I have a home game this weekend anyway. I have to be here.”

“I hate Houston,” she said, looking glum.

“When do you leave?”

“Friday morning. They're sending a plane for us, and I won't be home till Sunday night.” He nodded, but all he could think of that night, as he lay in bed next to Amanda, was Sandy. It was a rotten thing to do to Amanda, but a force greater than he was was pushing him to do it. He called Sandy back the next day and tried to sound casual about it. He invited her to the game on Saturday and suggested she come down on Friday night. He said he'd book a hotel for her. Fortunately they didn't have a performance that weekend.

And she was thinking about Bobby Joe before she answered. This would serve him right. She was tired of his criticizing her all the time. He'd been mean to her for months and was getting worse lately. And going to Atlanta for the weekend didn't mean she was going to do something wrong. Besides, Michael had a girlfriend too. Maybe they could just be friends.

“I'll come,” she said, sounding breathless. “I don't like to drive alone. I think I'll fly. Chase's secretary can book it for me.” All she had to do was find an excuse to give Bobby Joe, but lately he wasn't spending much time with her on weekends. It was going to be a little dicey to get away for a whole weekend, though.

She asked Wanda that day to make the reservation for her, and Wanda mentioned it to Chase after she booked the ticket. Sandy hadn't said it was a secret, so she assumed she could.

“Atlanta?” Chase looked blank when his assistant told him. “What's she doing in Atlanta?”

“I don't know. She didn't tell me.” But he had a sudden suspicion. He asked Sandy about it that night when he saw her, and Bobby Joe wasn't around.

“You're going to Atlanta?” He looked her straight in the eye, and she nodded. “To visit anyone I know?” He still expected her to let him know what she was doing, although allegedly she was a woman, not a child. But he kept a close eye on her.

“Maybe.” Her voice was very small as she said it.

“Michael Adams?” She nodded again. “Does Bobby Joe know?”

“I didn't tell him. I'm not going to do anything, Chase. Just go to a baseball game and hang out with him. He's nice.” Chase wanted to add “so is his mother,” but he didn't. This was about Sandy and Michael, not about them. Chase was all in favor of it—he just didn't want her to get hurt. And Michael had a girlfriend. And she had Bobby Joe, although Chase didn't like him.

“Be careful. It sounds complicated. For both of you.” And then he said something she hadn't expected. “Sometimes you just have to seize the moment, and figure it out afterward. Carpe diem. It sounds like that's what you're doing. And sometimes that's a good thing. Just take care of yourself.” He grinned then. “And if you get pregnant, I'll kill you.” He always said that. “And Bobby Joe won't be too pleased about it either.”

“I'm staying at a hotel. And I'm not going to do anything crazy. I don't even know him.”

“At your age and his, you can get to know someone mighty quick.” He smiled ruefully at her.

“Yeah, like you and Stevie,” she teased him right back, and he grinned. He was a good sport and never minded her teasing him, which was one of the many things Sandy loved about him. He didn't act all uptight like a father, but he still expected her to behave.

“You mind your business, girl,” he said about Stevie. “And say hi to Michael for me. What are you going to tell Bobby Joe?”

“I don't know yet. I hate lying to him.”

“Tell him I'm sending you as a scout, and you have to go.” She nodded, grateful for the excuse. “And have some fun. You deserve it. Something tells me he's a good boy, and he looked nuts about you when he met you.”

“I like him too,” she admitted.

“Well, play it cool. You don't want to be his ‘other woman.' ”

“I won't be,” she said with a look of self-assurance, and with that she threw her arms around him and thanked him. She called Michael back after that and told him everything was all set for Friday. She was arriving in time for dinner.

He was beaming when he hung up the phone. It had all worked perfectly. Amanda was going to Houston. Sandy was coming to Atlanta. And whatever happened happened. He felt ready to do something new and different. Amanda didn't own him yet.

When Sandy arrived on Friday, Michael was waiting for her at the airport. Amanda had left on the private jet that morning. And he looked nervous. Sandy had only brought carry-on with her, and he carried it for her, one small rolling bag, and a garment bag with a dress in it in case they went someplace fancy. Other than that, she had brought shorts and jeans.

He took her to the hotel he had booked for her, the Hyatt Place in the heart of Atlanta, and he had paid for it when he booked it. It seemed like the proper thing to do. And that night he took her out to dinner. He could tell she was nervous too. She talked a lot, and looked at him with wide eyes. But by the time they got to dessert, they had both started to relax, and Michael looked mesmerized by her. She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. She was small, but perfectly proportioned, and she was mature for her years. She said she had grown up a lot since her dad died, and she'd been working in the music business since she was fourteen. She wanted to go to college, but she hadn't had time. Chase kept her really busy.

They talked about him for a little while, and Sandy told Michael what a great guy Chase was, and how he had taken care of her for the last three years, and even built her a house of her own in his garden.

They walked back to the hotel from the restaurant where they had dinner, and she seemed very relaxed with him. She said she was looking forward to the baseball game the next day. It was a day game, and they were playing at noon. And after the game, he wanted to show her around the city and take her out to dinner at the Top Floor, which he said was a beautiful place. And after that, he thought they might go dancing. He realized that he was courting her and acting like he didn't have a girlfriend, and he wasn't sure what to do about it. He was thoroughly enjoying being with her. She was such a sweet person and so much fun to be with. And she was interesting to talk to, and totally impressed by him because he was so much older.

“Do you like to dance?” he asked, looking hopeful.

“I love it.” She smiled shyly at him.

He said goodnight to her in the lobby like a perfect gentleman, and didn't try to kiss her. He just wanted to get to know her, and from everything he had heard that night, he thought she was a wonderful person. And there was a childlike naïveté about her that he loved. She was innocent and wise at the same time, kind of like his mother. She reminded him of her in some ways, and he could see why his mom liked her.

They had a wonderful time at the game the next day, and ate hot dogs and pretzels. He bought her an ice cream, which she dribbled down her chin, and he teased her about it. They were like two peas in a pod, and agreed about a lot of things. The Braves won, which made everyone happy, and afterward they took a long walk and talked. There was something he wanted to make clear to her before they went any further. Amanda. She had texted him twice that day to tell him how much she hated their client, and never asked how he was or what he was doing, which was a relief. He didn't want to lie to her, although he knew he was committing a “sin of omission” by not telling her Sandy was there. And she wasn't in Atlanta by accident. He had invited her to come. He knew he'd have to take responsibility for it at some point. And he wanted to with Sandy now. He liked her too much to lie to her.

“There's something I have to tell you, Sandy,” he said, as they sat down on a bench in Centennial Olympic Park. She looked instantly worried. He hated to say it, but he knew he had to. “I've had a girlfriend for three years. She came to the concert in Nashville with me. She doesn't live with me, but she stays with me a lot of the time. It's been pretty serious for three years. But I've been realizing that we're at different stages in our lives and want different things. She wants to move in together, buy an apartment or a house, and get married eventually. I'm not ready to make that kind of commitment to anyone. And to be honest, I don't think she's the woman for me. I haven't told her that yet, though, which makes things awkward for us. I had no right to ask you here this weekend. I thought maybe we could just be friends. But talking to you, and seeing you, I realize I want more than that. I'd like to go out with you. But I need to clear things up with Amanda first. She has no idea that I've realized recently that she's not the right girl for me. Anyway, I wanted you to know that my situation is a little bit complicated right now. And after three years with her, I owe it to her to do it right and be honest with her. I just don't know when. I want to find the right time to say it to her. And then I'll be free”—he looked nervously at Sandy—“if you even want to go out with me.”

She was listening to him and watching him intently as he spoke to her, and his confession induced her to do the same.

Sandy looked momentarily embarrassed. “I lied to my boyfriend too. I've been going out with him for a while. But I told Chase I was coming here. He approved. No one likes the guy I'm going out with. He's in our opening band, and he's a jerk. He was nice at first, and now he picks on me all the time. He's pretty mean. Chase says he's jealous of me. But whatever it is, he says a lot of nasty things and puts me down, which really hurts. I've been thinking of breaking up with him. And I really liked you when I met you, so I came. I thought maybe we could be friends too. And I really like your mom, she's so sweet.” She didn't say a word to him about his mother and Chase. Chase hadn't told her not to, but she thought it best to be discreet. She didn't know how much Michael knew, and people were touchy about their moms, especially going out with guys. So she kept her revelations about her and Bobby Joe.