Convince Me (Holton Series #1) (18 page)

"Okay,"
Steven said as his brother walked to the door. "Hey, thanks Mitch."

His
brother raised his hand in acknowledgement as he headed out the door.  A
few minutes later Steven heard Mitch's motorcycle and knew his brother was
gone.  As silence descended on his house, Steven thought about all he had
learned today.

Discovering
that Victoria was not as happy as she had always seemed troubled Steven. 
It made him wonder how much he had missed when it came to his sister.  He
hoped that if she did return to Holton it would make her happy.

And
then there was Anna.  If what Mitch had said was true, then Steven had a
much bigger problem than he had believed.  He had to earn her trust. 
He knew that would be the only way to reach her.

The
next few weeks went smoothly and Steven began to relax.  Anna showed no
signs of retreating and was now quite open about their relationship so he put
aside his concerns.  She had joined Steven at his parents for dinner on
their Monday night ritual.  Steven was growing so confident in their
relationship that he purchased an engagement ring.  Now all he needed was
the right time to ask her.

The
firemen had long gone and Steven stared at her a moment before stalking to the
door and slamming it behind him.  Anna sank to the couch and burst into
tears.  All her hopes and dreams had gone up in flames just as her
carefully prepared meal had earlier.  Anna cried for all the things she
had missed.  She cried for her mother and for the life her mother had
known and the influence it still had on her own.  Anna cried until there
were no tears left and then she rose slowly from the couch and walked back into
the kitchen.

She
glanced around in disgust.  Everything was a mess. The counters and
cabinets were still wet and the roast, which was the first thing that had
caught on fire, was a shriveled mass in the sink.  Her dinning table was
littered with debris and the smell of stale smoke still lingered in the room.

Anna
walked over to the small window and opened it letting the cool night air flow
through the apartment.  She returned to the counter and began putting the
dishes away.  She threw the roast into the trash then she grabbed several
towels and started wiping up the water all the while trying to keep her tears
at bay.  She let her mind wonder back to earlier events.

It
had started out a perfect day.  She and Steven had been getting along very
well.  Her friendships with Julie and Rachel were growing deeper with each
passing day and she was beginning to feel like she was part of the
community.  Anna had decided to repay all the kindness from her friends by
having her first dinner party.

It
was the second weekend in March and the weather was beautiful.  The sun
had been shinning and there was no hint of rain.  Anna had risen early to
clean the apartment and plan her meal.  Everything had gone perfectly
until her guests arrived. 

Steven
was the first to come and he brought a wonderful red wine that would go
beautifully with the roast.  "I thought this might help settle your
nerves," he said with a smile.

Anna
laughed.  She had been nervous all week and Steven had teased her about
it.  She knew she was over-reacting but she wanted it to be a perfect
evening.

"What
can I do to help?" Steven asked and Anna put him to work making the
salad.  They worked side by side in quiet conversation and Anna began to
relax. 

Julie
and Nick were the next to arrive followed closely by Andrew and then
Rachel.  They all gathered in the living room and the conversation
flowed.  All her guests were comfortable with each other and they enjoyed
being together.

As
Anna went to check on the meat, she noticed a slight burning smell. 
Rushing into the kitchen, she opened the oven just in time to see the roast go
up in flames.  Reacting instinctively, Anna reached for a nearby towel and
pulled the pan from the oven.  Dumping the meat into the sink, she then
threw the towel onto the windowsill to her left and the pan onto the floor. 
The beef was still on fire so she quickly turned on the water to put out the
flames.

All
the commotion brought the others into the room.  Anna turned to see their
shocked faces as they stared at her.  Trying to stay calm, she
manufactured a smile in spite of the fear pounding through her.  It was
her worst nightmare.  Mentally she was replaying the fire that killed her
father when Rachel pointed behind her and shouted, "Anna, be
careful."

Anna
turned to see the towel she had used to pull the pan from the oven had also
caught on fire and had now spread it to the curtains above the windowsill. 
In shock, Anna was unable to move as she stood staring at the flames as they
continued to spread.  The smoke was now strong enough to set off the smoke
alarm and the noise was deafening. 

"Anna,"
Steven called as he rushed over to her.  Pulling her to the side, he
yelled over the clamor, "Anna, where is your fire extinguisher?"

Still
in shock, Anna was only able to point to the pantry.  She watched, unable
to move as Steven charged over to the pantry and pulled the extinguisher from
inside.  Andrew had also entered the kitchen and was busily trying to beat
out the fire with a wet towel.  The fire was spreading quickly and Anna
felt someone behind her pulling her from the room.  She turned to see Nick
and Julie pushing her into the living room.  She tried to resist but her
legs would no longer hold her so Anna sank into the nearest chair.  In the
distance she heard the wailing of a fire engine.

"It's
okay, Anna."  She felt Rachel's arm slip around her shoulder. 
"The fire department is on the way.  Nick called 911.  They will
put it out.  Just try to relax."

It
was then that Anna realized she was shaking.  Unable to stop, she rose
quickly from the chair and walked back toward the kitchen.  She felt
Rachel grab her from behind.  "No, Anna, wait."

There
was suddenly a pounding on the door and Rachel let her go long enough to answer
the door.  Anna replayed the events of her youth.  Her father yelling
at her, telling her she was reckless and irresponsible before rushing back into
the house.  Anna had tried to stop him but he had been so intoxicated that
he had thought he was invincible.  They later told her it wasn't her
fault.  There was no way that she had been the cause of the fire but Anna
had never been able to rid herself of the guilt.

The
firemen hurried into the kitchen and Steven and Andrew quickly moved out of the
way.  It took only a few minutes for the men to get the fire under control
and soon everything was settled.  They asked Anna a few questions, which
she answered as best she could and one of them checked the oven and found a
faulty wire.

Anna
was relieved to know that she was not at fault but she couldn't help the fear
that still gripped her.  The firemen left soon after and Nick offered to
go get them all some food while the others began to start cleaning up Anna's
kitchen.  This finally snapped Anna out of her trance.

"Thanks,
Nick" she said with a tight smile, "but don't bother.  Look,
everyone, don't worry about the kitchen.  It's been a long evening. 
Why don't we call it a night?  I will clean things up later."

"Don't
be silly, Anna," Julie said.  "We can all help and it will only
take a few minutes."

"No!"
Anna snapped.  "Just leave it!"

"We
can have this place cleaned up in no time, Anna," Andrew stated,
supporting his sister.  "Don't worry, we'll have everything back to
normal in a jiffy."

"I
said I didn't want your help," Anna yelled.  Her fear had made her
angry.  She couldn't control the words.

No
one said a word.  They all just watched her silently.  Knowing she
had been rude, Anna tried to smile.  "Please, just leave it."

Some
of her desperation must have come through in her voice because her friends left
soon afterwards.  Steven had stayed behind and Anna suddenly realized he
had not said a word to her since the fire had started.  Looking at him
now, Anna knew he was angry.  Unsure why and not knowing what to say to
him, she walked over to the couch and sat down.

"What
is the matter with you?" he demanded.  "They were only trying to
help."

"I
don't need their help," Anna snapped again.  She knew she was behaving
badly but she couldn't seem to stop herself.  She was so angry with
herself and desperately wanted to be alone.  She needed to think, needed
to reassure herself that it wasn't her fault.

Steven
stalked over to her.  "Maybe they needed to help you.  Did you
ever think of that?  Good grief, Anna, those people are your
friends."

"I
know that."

"Then,
what is the problem?  You are acting strange."

"I'm
not acting strange.  I just want to be alone."

He
looked at her in disbelief.  "You want to be alone? You practically
burn down the place and now you just want to be alone?  What about
me?  What about your friends?"

Anna
had turned pale at his words.  They tore at her heart and she whispered,
"You think I did this on purpose?"

"Of
course not," Steven said impatiently.

"You
don't think it was my fault?"

"No,
it wasn't your fault.  Although," he continued after a pause,
"did you ever get that oven checked?"

"No,"
she mumbled.

"Anna,
why not?  You knew something was wrong with it.  I thought you were
more responsible than that."

The
words, so like the ones she had heard before, triggered her anger.  She
jumped from the couch and shouted, "Don't yell at me!  Just get
out!  I don't want to see you anymore."

Turning
to walk away from him, Anna was shocked when he grabbed her from behind. 
He turned her around to face him and Anna shivered at the anger in his eyes.

"What
the hell is the matter with you?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Fear
raced through Anna.  It was suddenly too much for her to handle.  She
tried to pull away but Steven wouldn't let her go.  He started to shake
her when she panicked.  She closed her eyes and whispered, "Don't hit
me, please, don't hit me."

She
was immediately released.  She opened her eyes to see Steven staring at
her in shock.  The anger was still in his eyes but he was watching her
with an appalled look on his face.

"Hit
you?" he questioned in disbelief.  "Why would you ever think
that I would hit you?"

"My
father..." Anna began before she realized what she was saying.  She
had never told anyone about her father.  She had read all the books and
knew that her father's problem had nothing to do with her but like many
children from abusive homes she was unable to completely shed the guilt.

A
light dawned in Steven's eyes.  "Your father beat you?"

"Not
me," Anna said quickly.  "My mother."

The
anger returned to his face and Anna took a step back.  Shaking his head he
began pacing the room.  She watched him for several minutes until he
stopped and looked at her. 

"How
dare you," he said, the anger lacing his voice.  "How dare you
compare me to him!  I would never hurt you, don't you know that? 
Don't you know how much I love you?"

Anna
just stared at him.  What could she say?  She had been afraid he was
going to hurt her.  He waited for her to say something but Anna did not
know what to say.  She stood silently knowing she was destroying
everything she had ever hoped for but unable to do anything else.

"Anna,
do you really think I would hit you?" he finally asked breaking the
silence.  Anna turned to see him staring at her.  She did not say a
word.  "You actually think I would."

Steven
shook his head again and then said to her, "How long have you thought
this?  Is it just me or do you think everyone is going to hurt you?"

Anna
couldn't answer him.  She looked at the floor and refused to meet his
eyes.

"Anna,
do you trust me?"

She
looked at him then.  Looking into his eyes, she wanted to shout yes but
years of fear kept her from speaking.  The silence grew tearing them
further apart.

"When
you decide on an answer, let me know."  He turned and started to walk
away.

Anna's
heart protested and a sound came from her mouth but she could not speak. 
Steven turned and stared at her a moment before stalking to the door and
slamming it behind him.

Anna
thoughts returned to the present as she finished wiping the counter tops. 
She looked around the kitchen and knew she had done all she could for the
moment.  Making a mental note to replace the ruined curtains with less
flammable mini blinds, Anna left the kitchen.  With a heavy heart, she
walked slowly into the bedroom.  It was going to be a long night. 
She felt the tears forming in her eyes as she collapsed onto the bed.

#

His
rage carried him out of the door, down the stairs and past his car. 
Steven walked without any conscious thought of where he was going.  He was
so angry he concentrated on simply putting one foot in front of the
other.  He walked for about twenty minutes before he felt his anger begin
to cool.