Convenience and Compatibility (32 page)

“What’s that?”

“I do want you.”

Greg’s hand moves to my hip and he moves
closer to me. “Then be with me.”

“I can’t Greg. I need to do this. It’s more
about me getting my shit together than anything else.”

“You have your shit together Mallory.”

“Not really Greg.” I yawn. “Let’s go to
sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Sure… wanna cuddle?” He asks, and I can tell
he is nervous for my answer.

“Yea.” I move closer and turn my back to
him.

Greg puts his arm around me and we fall
asleep.

Chapter 21

My phone is ringing. At first it becomes part
of my dream, and then I wake up with a start. No, my phone is
really ringing. I pull Greg’s arm off me and scramble into the
living room, digging for it in my purse.

Without looking at the caller ID I answer the
phone. “Hello?” I answer breathlessly.

“Hi, Mallory?”

“Yes?” I look out the living room window and
see dawn approaching.

“It’s Carol, I’m the night shift charge nurse
and we had a nurse call in sick this morning. Would you be willing
to come in today?”

Oh. I consider for a moment; it would be nice
to get some extra money and be distracted by something other than
Greg. What the hell, it will probably be my last time doing
this.

“Okay.”

“Really? Thank you!”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Great, thank you. See you soon.”

“Goodbye.”

I hang up and see that it’s six o’clock – I
should have time to get there by seven. I creep into the bathroom
and stealthily get dressed. I pull my hair up into a hair tie I
find in a drawer in the bathroom, no doubt mine, and go put on my
shoes. I grab my bag and head to the door when I remember that I
don’t have a vehicle here. Shit. There is no way I can run home in
stilettos.

I walk into the bedroom, trying to keep my
shoe clicking to a minimum. I crawl on the bed where I was just a
few moments before. The spot is still warm and I want to climb back
in and snuggle under Greg’s arm, kissing the stubble on his dimpled
chin.

I brush Greg’s hair from his forehead.
“Greg?”

Greg stirs and puts his arm around me,
pulling me down next to him again. “Hmmm? Come back to bed
baby.”

“I can’t Greg. They called me in to work. I’m
so sorry, I forgot I have no car. Can I borrow yours?”

Greg is awake now, his eyes open, blinking
rapidly. “Sure. I thought you had the day off.”

“I did. Someone called in sick and I said
yes.”

“Oh okay.”

“I’ll have Tara drive it back over
later.”

“No babe. I’m up. I’ll take you.”

Greg gets up and puts his pajamas on from the
previous night, giving me a brief view of his perfect ass, and I
regret my decision to go to work. He slips on some sandals and we
head to the car.

We don’t talk on the short ride to my
apartment. Greg is still trying to wake up and I feel too guilty
about geting him up to say anything. He gets to my apartment and I
hop out.

“Thank you!” I turn away before he can say
anything and open the door, running up the stairs to get ready.

I get to work about thirty minutes late and
find I only have three patients, a pretty easy load. I’d forgotten
how I loved working the weekends, with the doctors gone. The day is
uneventful and when the nurse calls to say that she wouldn’t be
able to cover her next two shifts, I volunteer.

When I get home Tara is nowhere to be found.
I have a sinking feeling that she has talked to Greg and I am on
her shit list. I decided to text her as innocently as I can to see
what was up.

“Just got home from an unexpected shift. Are
you at Adam’s tonight?”

I make some boxed macaroni and cheese while I
wait for a response.

“Yes. Is that ok? Are you ok? I thought you
were with Greg. I can come home if you want.”

I respond right away.

“No. I’m ok. Have fun.”

I eat my mac n cheese on the sofa and watch
TV until I’m too tired to keep my eyes open. I make sure the door
is locked and go to bed, and smile with the realization that I
haven’t thought of Dean all day. It’s been only a week and it’s
getting easier already.

The next two days are
pretty much the
same. Work – food – sleep. I avoid all thoughts of Dean and instead
think mostly of Greg. As much as I want to spend my remaining time
with him, I know it will be easier for both of us if I stay away. I
try as hard as I can not to call him, knowing that I need to get
used to this being alone thing. My new mantra: I don’t need a man
to be happy.

Tara seems oblivious to my avoidance of Greg.
I haven’t seen much of her lately as she has been spending every
night with Adam and the days with his mother planning the
wedding.

We decide, via text, that we will let the
apartment go at the end of the month. Tara will be moving in with
Adam and I will be in Mexico for who knows how long.

I spend most of Tuesday packing my things. I
plan to only take a suitcase, a carryon bag, and my purse with me.
There are only four non-working days left before I leave and I
don’t want to run out of time. I decide to take everything I am not
bringing with me to my parent’s place, probably the garage, while
I’m gone. Dad and Mom will just have to deal with the pile for a
while.

I have heard nothing from either Dean or
Greg. I am sure that Dean hates me – like he said, I am a lying
bitch. Greg is probably waiting for me to make the first move and
contact him. He was always respectful about giving me space, even
when I know it hurts him.

I wake up with a
start. Arghh, another
day of work. I turn off my alarm and stretch in bed. I don’t feel
rested yet from the last three shifts I did this week. Tara and I
both get ready silently, passing each other in the hallway
half-asleep, grumbling.

Tara drives us to work as I relax in the seat
and sip my tea.

“How is marriage planning going?”

“Good, there is just so much to do.”

“Yea.”

“Sorry Mallory, we don’t have to talk about
my wedding. By the way, have you heard from Dean?”

“No. I blocked his number in case he tries to
call me. I didn’t want to be forever watching my phone, waiting for
him to call. And it’s okay to talk about your wedding. I’m
alright.” I laugh a little; one of the smartest things I’ve done
lately to save my sanity was to erase his contact. Wait a minute.
“Why Tara?”

“I thought I saw his car parked outside the
apartment last night when I came home. I was too tired to really
register it, so I didn’t look inside to make sure. But I’m pretty
sure it was his car.”

What?!? I put my tea down in the console and
feel an overwhelming urge to throw up.

“But why would he want to contact me? He
hates me.”

Tara shrugs. “Maybe he realizes he was being
a horse’s ass. I bet he misses you.”

“Tara, what am I going to do? I’m just
starting to get over him. I can’t deal with this.”

“It will be okay, I’m sure Greg can help you
handle it.”

I look at her incredulously. “Why would Greg
handle it?”

“But aren’t you together now?”

“No.”

“Oh, wait. I’m confused.”

Tara parks the car and we don’t mention Greg
again. I don’t know what to say to her as I can’t quite wrap my
head around my feelings for him yet.

Work is relatively easy. I start my charting
after the dinner meds and think about Greg while typing. I wonder
what he has told Adam, if anything. I really should call Greg, but
I’m hoping that I’m conveniently too busy to see him before I
leave. I’m too confused about my feelings for him when we are
together and afraid that I’m falling in love with him again. He’s
an easy man to fall in love with. This could complicate my plans
for leaving.

Tara and I get off work and we snake our way
through the Emergency Room exit. Tara rolls her eyes at me, but I’m
not about to take any chances running into Dean. On the drive home
we make a plan; I will hide in the backseat until Tara makes sure
he is not waiting for me. I feel like an immature teenager, but I
also have to admit that it’s kind of fun.

We get off the freeway and I climb into the
backseat just before we pull into the apartment complex’s driveway.
Tara is driving really slow now, I’m sure scanning all of the cars.
She parks and gives me the go-ahead.

We run into the apartment, laughing, and I
let out a sigh of relief. Tara and I turn on some music and start
making dinner – salad and French fries. The door’s buzzer goes off
and I look to Tara with alarm.

“It’s just Adam.”

She’s about to buzz him in and I rush over to
grab her hand.

“Just in case, ask who it is.”

Tara nods. “Hello?”

“It’s Dean, is Mallory there?”

My knees almost buckle at the sound of his
voice. Tara and I stare at each other, in shock that he is really
here.

“Tell him I moved, or whatever.”

“Mallory doesn’t live here anymore.” She says
into the intercom.

There’s silence and I wonder if he’s walked
away. Then I remember that my car is in the parking lot and Dean
knows I’m here.

“Yea, okay. Well if you talk to her can you
tell her to call me?”

“I don’t think she wants to talk with you
Dean.”

“Whatever Tara. Hey Mallory, the test came
back negative. Will you call me please?”

“What test? Mallory isn’t here Dean.” Tara is
on a roll now and needs no prompting from me.

“Then tell her Erica isn’t mine. Tell her I
love her and that I’m sorry. Please?” His voice is pleading and I
feel sorry for him. I almost want to let him in. Almost.

“Okay Dean, I will do that.” Tara’s voice is
softer and I know that she must feel sorry for him as well.

There is no more sound from the intercom.
Walking into my bedroom I close the door, wanting to be alone. I
hear Tara turn down the music and the intercom come on again. I
listen carefully as she says something and hits the buzzer. I rush
out of my room – did she let Dean in?

She sees the alarm in my face. “Adam’s here,
it’s okay. Relax.”

I nod and walk back into the bedroom and shut
the door. I lay on my bed with the lights out and listen as Adam
comes into the apartment.

Tara knocks on my door. “Do you want to eat
with us?” She asks through the door.

“No thanks Tara.” I’m no longer hungry even
though my stomach is growling. The thought of seeing Dean again
sickens me.

Tara walks away and I take a shower and go to
bed. Tomorrow is another day.

Thursday is pretty much the
same, Tara
and I carpool to work and make no mention of Adam or Dean or Greg.
We keep it light: work, the wedding, my upcoming trip. She’s more
supportive now, likely happy that she has an excuse to move in with
Adam before the wedding. I drive straight home after work, not too
worried about Dean being there waiting for me anymore. Hopefully he
got the hint and will leave me alone.

Friday is another day of work with Tara. She
is chipper this morning and I find it rubbing off on me. I’m
actually smiling during my shift and looking forward to the evening
and having a couple of days off. I sit in a small alcove I found in
the hospital to take my break, as I actually get a break today. I
eat my cup o’ noodles and see that I have a voicemail from my
parents.

It’s mom: “Hi honey. Dean came by today, he
actually just left. He came looking for you, said you didn’t live
with Tara anymore. Where are you living honey? He was practically
crying, saying he was so sorry – but he didn’t say what for….”

Mom’s voicemail cut out because she talked
too long – typical Mom.

I stand up and throw away my cup o’ noodles,
there’s no way I can finish them now. I ring Mom, scared to death
what she might have told Dean. Scared what he might have told
her.

“Hello?”

“Hi Mom.”

“Hi Mallory.”

“So Dean was there?”

“Yes, he left a couple hours ago. He thought
you lived somewhere else. I told him I was pretty sure you still
lived with Tara. I hope that was okay.” Crap.

“I guess, but we are not together anymore
Mom, remember?”

“I know honey, he was just so sad. He felt
really bad about something. Kept saying he made a big mistake, but
he wouldn’t say anything more.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him to apologize, that you are
reasonable. That I’m sure you will forgive him.”

“Did you mention anything about my upcoming
trip?”

“No, did you want me to?”

“No, just don’t talk to him again
please.”

“Okay honey.”

“I need to get back to work Mom.”

“Okay, have a good day honey.”

“Bye Mom.”

I walk slowly back to the floor and the last
three hours of my shift. She has no clue what she has done so I
can’t really be mad at her. I wonder if he will come back to the
apartment now.

I check on my patients then sit at the
nurse’s desk next to Tara to do some charting. She listens and as I
recount my conversation with Mom, shaking her head.

“He sure is tenacious. What are you going to
do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to see him. Do
you have plans tonight?” I ask, hoping for some distraction.

“I was planning to go over to Adam’s
later.”

“Oh, okay.”

We usually go out Friday night and I wonder
if Greg has said anything about not wanting to see me. I feel bad
that I haven’t contacted him in a while; I should have called.
Somehow I doubt that he’s moved on already.

Tara and I get off work and again go out the
ER doors. I feel like a spy in stealth mode as we make our way to
the car. We drive home and my stomach is in knots, worried about
Dean trying to see me. I drive into the apartment complex and see
Dean standing near the entrance, lit up by the overhead light.
Adrenaline pumps through me, but I try not to draw any attention to
me as I make a U turn and pray to God he didn’t see me. Turning
left, I head towards the water.