Convenience and Compatibility (24 page)

Dean looks at his coffee cup and nods. I see
a single tear drop from his face to the table and I feel horrible
for saying anything. I want to give him a hug and tell him
everything will be alright, but I’m not sure it will be. Instead, I
eat my breakfast and leave for work.

I get to work and
am surprisingly
thankful my day is full of heavy-load patients. Tara and I are
working together for the next few days and I’m appreciative for the
company. With her I even laugh once in spite of my situation with
Dean.

I cover the light bruise on my cheekbone with
makeup, but Tara grills me about it all morning, thinking that Dean
hurt me. It took the promises of two nursing assistants who were in
the room when it happened, to convince her I was telling the
truth.

I wait until after work to tell Tara what is
going on between Dean and me. We drive back to the apartment and I
tell Tara about Amanda coming over and her child. Tara sits in
silence and dutifully listens like a good friend. I’m thankful when
she doesn’t say anything bad about Dean, but instead gives me a hug
when we get out of the car.

I make boxed macaroni and cheese for us and
we sit eating dinner on the sofa watching reality TV before bed.
Tara is gracious enough not to mention Dean, Greg or anything that
reminds me how crappy my current my predicament is right now. I go
to bed and look at my phone – Dean hasn’t called all day. I decide
it’s not too late and ring him.

“Hi Mallory.” Dean doesn’t answer the phone
his usual chipper way; he sounds tired. Defeated.

“Hi Dean. How was your day?”

“Pretty shitty actually.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Well I went to my parent’s house after work
and they annoyed me. They want me to get a paternity test so I
talked with Amanda about that. She is pushing for me to come over
and meet Erica, but I think I will wait for the test first. Let’s
see… work was a little better today, but I was preoccupied and
could have done better. How was your day?”

“Honestly Dean, not great. Tara was really
nice to me, so that helped. I’m not looking forward to the next two
days, but that seems pretty inconsequential now.”

We are quiet for a moment, then start talking
at the same time.

“You go ahead Mallory.”

“I was just wondering if you could answer
something for me.”

“Yea.”

“If the child is yours, do you want to try to
work things out with Amanda?”

“No, I want to be with you. I broke up with
Amanda for a reason, remember?”

“Yea.”

“Why? Do you not want to be with me if the
child is mine?”

“I’m sorry Dean, I’m just not sure yet.”

“That makes me really sad because I’m
confident that I’m the father.”

“Really?”

Dean is quiet and I wished that I had said
nothing. I hear Dean sniffing through the receiver and am pretty
sure he is crying.

“Listen, try to get some sleep and I will
come back tomorrow night after work. I’m sorry that things between
us have been such a roller coaster lately. But I love you
Dean.”

“Really? I’m happy to hear that. I love you
too Mallory. Good night.”

Dean hangs up and I feel sick to my stomach
again. I lie down and try to sleep but am unable to stop my brain
from going over everything again and again. Part of me wishes that
I never met Dean. I would have never known what I was missing and
been happily oblivious with my casual relationship with Greg. Why
was having a relationship with Greg so much easier? For the first
time in months, I want to call Greg and cry on his shoulder. Ask
his advice what I should do and rely on him again. I realize that I
miss Greg. Maybe this whirlwind romance with Dean was a
mistake?

Tara and I carpool to
work in the
morning and have a pretty okay day. I feel more optimistic today –
it’s funny how perspectives can change based on the time of day. It
seems like there is more hope in the morning. I remind myself what
Dean had said; he wants to be with me even if the child is his.
Over the course of the day I pray about twenty times that this is
not the case.

After work Tara and I stop at the store; she
buys dinner for her and Adam and I buy wine and strawberries. My
stomach is in knots and I’m not sure if I can eat anything.

I drop Tara off at the apartment and rush to
get home to Dean. It’s almost nine by the time I pull into the
garage. I walk into the house and Dean gets up from the couch,
turning off the TV. He looks sexy in his grey sweats and a crisp
white T-shirt. I look away quickly. I’m upset with him, I don’t
want to be attracted to him right now.

“Hi.” I walk into to the kitchen and open the
bottle of wine and rinse the strawberries.

“Hi yourself.”

“I stopped to get these for dinner.” I smile
and Dean sits at the bar, looking serious. I pour him a glass of
wine and walk around the counter with the glasses, setting his in
front of him.

“I’m sorry, I guess I just feel sorry for
myself today.”

“Tell me about it.” I nudge the wine glass
closer to him and he takes a sip.

Dean looks at me now and puts his arms out to
me. I walk into them and he hugs me tight; breathing into my neck.
He moves his hand up my back and onto the back of my head, pulling
me closer to him – breathing me in. His touch does something to me,
making me want to forget all the reasons I should walk away from
him.

“I’m so scared I’m going to lose you. I mean,
after all I went through, you were the prize at the end of it. I
was okay with that. But now, I’m so pissed. Haven’t I been through
enough?”

Dean pulls me closer and he sobs quietly on
my neck. All doubts that I had before of leaving him if the child
was his are now gone. I know that I can’t live without him and
don’t want to. This is just another down in the ups and downs of
life. We can get through this.

“It’s okay Dean. It’s okay. We’ll get through
this together. It will be okay.”

Dean pulls away and looks into my eyes. “You
mean you won’t leave me if Erica is mine?”

“That’s right. We’ll figure it out
together.”

Dean wipes his eyes and smiles. “I’m so
happy. Okay.” He takes a drink of his wine. “I don’t want you
sleeping away from me again. You need to officially move in.”

I open my mouth and Dean covers it with his
finger. “I don’t care if that means we need to get married right
away. Let’s go to Vegas tonight if you want.”

“No, I want a real wedding. But how about I
move in this weekend? Saturday is my birthday and I don’t want to
be moving. How about Sunday? I don’t have a lot of stuff, it
shouldn’t take very long.”

“Okay.” Dean smiles and pulls me close again.
“I love you Mallory, more than you know.”

I smile back. “I love you too. But I have one
request.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“I don’t want you talking to Amanda again.
Let your lawyer handle it. I don’t trust her.”

Dean frowns. “Mallory, getting a lawyer
involved is very expensive. I guess I could ask my parents.”

“No, we’ll pay for it. I have money in
savings, remember?”

“Mallory….”

“Dean… Deal with it.” I take a sip of wine
and stare into his eyes, challenging him to test me on this.

Dean shrugs and I know I’ve won.

“Come on, let’s finish this bottle of wine
and go upstairs to fuck.”

Dean’s eyebrows raise and he starts choking
on the wine he was drinking. I pat his back.

“Are you okay?”

“Um, ya. You just caught me off guard.”

“You know I can’t resist you when you wear
those sexy sweats.”

Dean guffaws, “I bet.”

“Oops, I have another request. Sorry, this is
the last one.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Okay.”

“So tomorrow after we go out, I was planning
on staying at the apartment. I mean, it will be late and it will
probably be the last time I have a sleepover with Tara...” I ramble
until Dean holds up his finger to talk.

“Yes, I suppose one last time is okay.” He
teases. “How about I pick you up in the morning… I sort of have
some plans for the day and want to start early.”

“Okay, but not too early.”

“Deal.”

I put out my hand for him to shake and he
pulls me close. “You know, instead of shaking hands, we could seal
this deal with some other form of exchange. Maybe upstairs?”

“I’d be open to that.”

Dean smiles slowly. “I’d better get some food
in you first.”

“What do you have against strawberries and
wine?”

“Mallory.” Dean tilts his head and looks down
at me. “Come on.”

Dean takes my hand like a child and sits me
at the dining table. He pulls a casserole from the fridge and heats
up two servings. He brings a bowl from the fridge and adds
dressing; tossing a salad.

“It looks like you were busy today.”

Dean shrugs, “I like taking care of you… and
I knew you would be hungry after work.”

“What’s the casserole?”

“Shepherd’s pie and this is chef salad.”

My mouth waters with the mention of dinner. I
suddenly realize I’m ravenous. “That sounds amazing Dean.”

We eat dinner and tease each other; making no
mention of the heavy situation looming over us. I figure we will
get through the weekend, then tackle the details on Monday. Our
relationship feels carefree again – before the crap with his
parents and Amanda’s visit.

I slip my shoes off and play with Dean’s
feet; tickling them to his annoyance.

Dean puts down his fork. “Do I need to fuck
you into submission?”

I throw my head back and laugh, almost
choking on my food. “I can safely say that is the first time I’ve
ever been asked that.”

Dean guffaws and I lean forward to kiss him.
“I’m going to miss you tomorrow night. What do you think you will
do?”

I shrug. “Not sure. Tara is planning the
evening – it’s sort of our tradition. We plan each other’s birthday
parties. What will you do tomorrow?”

“That’s a secret.”

“Oh really, why’s that?”

“Why do you think birthday girl?”

“Oh. I really don’t need anything Dean.”

Dean interrupts, “Will you let me spoil you?
Please?”

I shrug, “Okay.”

Dean likes order in his life and I’ve never
seen any mess or anything askew. I always make sure I clean up
after myself at his place, not even leaving dishes in the sink or
any crumbs on the counter. Even with the promise of sex within
reach, Dean cleans up any remains of us eating dinner. Maybe this
is because he is an only child? Or maybe Jeanette fucked him up as
a kid? We finish and I walk upstairs, knowing Dean will follow
me.

I quickly undress, happy to get the smell of
the hospital off me, and get in the shower. Dean finds me and
starts taking his clothes off. He walks toward me already aroused,
and I’m pretty sure we will have some sort of copulation in the
bathroom.

Dean grabs at me right away and I push him
away.

“I need to get clean first.”

Dean smirks, “So I can get you dirty?”

“Exactly.” I try to keep a straight face – he
does have a point.

Dean makes a bee line for the body wash and
comes back at me with lathered hands. He stands behind me and
cleans my armpits first - I can’t help but wiggle and laugh. He
then walks around and gets on one knee, cleaning my feet. Such
service.

Dean gets more body wash and stands behind
me. I feel his erection poking me in the side and I know what he
will be cleaning next. He puts his hands on my stomach and makes
circular motions. One hand moves down between my legs and my breath
hitches – I’m so ready for him I know I will come with very little
effort.

Dean moves his hand faster and holds me close
with his other arm. He breathes into my neck, mirroring my fast
shallow breaths. I put one arm around his neck and grip his arm
with the other – I’m close. I pull tighter as my orgasm rips
through me, my body wanting to fall, but Dean holds me close until
it ends.

I turn around and kiss him deeply, running my
hands over the stubble on his face. I pull back and smile, I’m so
happy – how can I not be after coming?

“What?” Dean asks.

“I was just wondering what this would feel
like between my legs.”

Dean raises an eyebrow and pulls away,
turning off the water. Without warning he scoops me up like a child
and takes me into the bedroom, laying me on the bed. He grins
mischievously and trails kisses down my torso to my clit. He pushes
my legs apart and moves lower; alternating between flicking his
tongue and sucking. I get close again and grip the sheets at my
sides, getting ready for the orgasm. I look down when Dean stops –
he’s looking up at me with that grin again. I’m sure the look on my
face must say it all: desire coupled with fear, a bit of
desperation mixed in.

Dean smirks and puts a finger inside,
watching my face. Satisfied that he is resuming, I lay back and
close my eyes, only focusing on his touch. Dean puts his face down
and I have no idea what he is doing – I don’t care, I just want him
to continue. My body tenses and I cry out as I orgasm with sweet
relief. The man may leave me hanging sometimes, but he more than
makes up for it at other times.

I’m barely aware of Dean as he moves on top
of me and starts pumping into me. I lie sprawled on the bed, spent,
until Dean’s position stimulates my clit again. Ah, this is too
much! I grab onto his lower back and wrap my legs around his ass,
pushing him deeper with each thrust. It doesn’t take Dean too long
to come and I find myself orgasming as well, just after he does,
wishing he would of lasted just a bit longer. It’s not too much to
ask for – three orgasms. Hell ya!

Dean lays on top of me and I know that he
must be as exhausted as I am. I am suddenly cognizant of being very
wet: my hair, Dean on top of me, my arms and legs, between my legs.
I don’t care, I am happy, very happy. I stroke Dean’s hair.