Consumed (Keeping her in the Dark) (14 page)

“I’m sorry. I can’t talk to you, I can’t let you touch me, and
I can’t let you help me, because I don’t know how to help myself!” I turned
back and ran out of the room and upstairs. I didn’t stop until I was in my
room, under my covers, with my head buried in my pillow.

I walked in her bedroom and heard
her shuffling around in the bathroom. I walked to the door and her eyes rose to
meet mine in the mirror. Her body froze and my heart sunk thinking she might be
afraid. I knew what I had to say even though it was going to break my heart to
say it. I cleared my throat.

“I wanted to talk to you before I retired to my room…if
that’s okay?” She rested her finger tips on the counter, nodded her head and
lowered her eyes. I had given up making her look at me, so I went on. “I can’t
help you, Norah. I want to but I can’t, I see that now.” She looked at my
reflection in the mirror for a brief three seconds then lowered her eyes again.
“I have tried to help you by staying away from you, but I think it has just
pushed you further away. I haven’t asked you any questions or forced you to
tell me what happened…hoping you would tell me when you were ready. But that
hasn’t happened in a month. I haven’t put any outrageous pressures on you for
sex or even asked you to share my bed, even though I miss you so much. I don’t
like this seclusion either. I didn’t like it when I did it to you, and I
certainly don’t like you doing it to yourself. But I haven’t complained.” I
took a breath and again her eyes met mine in the mirror for a few seconds. “I
know you blame me for the horrible things that happened to you, and I deserve
it. I shouldn’t have been so selfish at the wedding, I should have left you
alone. If I had, this wouldn’t have happened. But I let my Dominance over you
take over, and for that I apologize.” I took a small step toward her and could
see tears running down her face. “I have tried so hard to make you forget our
past and how much I hurt you. But here you are again secluded in this room,
cringing when I touch you, and stepping away when I try to get close. You’re
scared of me, Norah, I can’t say I blame you.” She wiped tears from her eyes
and I stepped a little closer to her. “Seeing you with Tiffany made everything
clear to me. I know what I have to do now.” She looked in my eyes and I stepped
to her side at the counter. Our arms were touching and we held our connection
in the mirror. I could see her chest moving up and down. I wasn’t sure if she
was scared because I was so close to her or of what I was going to say. “I
think you should go home…..to be with your family.” Her eyes narrowed as if she
didn’t understand. I put my right hand over my heart. “I can’t help you, Norah.
I wish I could, but I can’t, I don’t know how.” I shook my head breaking our
connection for a few seconds then looked back at her. “I can’t stand to see you
like this anymore. You were so happy and carefree when Tiffany was here. At
first I didn’t know why things had changed so drastically overnight and I thought
you might be acting happy to ease her mind. But then I realized, it was because
she has never betrayed you. She has never hurt you. With her and your family,
there isn’t pain and torment, like there is with us.” I could see her tears
falling faster. I wanted to touch her, to wipe her tears away, to hold her
close to me. But I knew that wasn’t an option. “Maybe if you go home, back to your
life before me, you can heal, become whole again, and forget.” I paused and
then I lowered my eyes from hers. I could feel water building in my eyes and I
didn’t want her to see me cry. Then I heard her small little voice.

“You don’t want me anymore?” she asked. I looked up at her
and couldn’t help my left hand from reaching for hers.

“Not want you? That isn’t possible, Norah. Of course I want
you, I love you. But I want you to be happy, to feel safe, and I know you don’t
feel that way with me here anymore.”

“So instead of you leaving me, you’re just going to send me
away?” she sounded more pissed than upset.

“No, I’m not sending you away. I’m telling you that you can
go if you want to. And I’m certainly not letting you go forever. I couldn’t
take that either.” I pulled her hand to my heart. “I trust that when you have
healed you will come back to me.” She pulled her hand away from mine and turned
her back to me. I could still see her reflection in the mirror though. She bent
at her waist and put her hand over her stomach. “Are you alright? Are you going
to be sick?” I put my hand on her back and rubbed up and down. She stepped away
from me.

“Thank you for the offer, but I’m not going back to my
family.” She paused and looked up at me. “This is my home, and I don’t
appreciate you trying to send me away from it again.” She straightened up,
turned to face me and then walked past me into the bedroom. I followed her. She
stood at the window, again with her back to me. When she turned to face me she
resembled the confident woman I once knew. “Now it’s my turn to talk.” Yes,
please talk! I wanted her to talk. I had wanted her to talk since the day I
found her in that club. Please say something!

Tell me I’m an asshole, tell me you hate me, tell me you want
to shoot me in my knee caps and watch me bleed out…..just talk to me please!
She looked down and fidgeted with her fingers.

 “I did blame you…..at first. I blamed you because if you
had never punched him at that dinner party last year, he wouldn’t have wanted
me. I blamed you because if I had felt comfortable enough to just be honest
with you, I could have told you he had been coming to see me for weeks.” She
looked up at me and I shifted my weight. That bastard had been talking to my
Norah for weeks and I didn’t know it! “But I knew you would make me quit. So I
kept it from you, thinking I could handle it.” She shrugged her shoulders and
lowered her eyes again. She dropped one hand and started playing with the
tassel on the curtains with the other. “But it isn’t your fault, Liam. It isn’t
anyone’s fault. It isn’t mine and it isn’t yours.” She looked over at me. “I
don’t blame you anymore, but I am scared of you.” I stepped toward her.

“Norah, I would never...” but before I could finish she held
up her hand and went on.

“I’m not scared of what you will do to me, Liam. I know you
would never do anything to me I didn’t want, I do.” She took a deep breath. “I
am scared once you find out the truth about what happened…..you won’t want me
anymore.” She lowered her head and started to full on cry.

“Oh Norah, never.” I reached out to her but I recoiled. I
wanted to hold her so bad, to comfort her. She looked so helpless and alone.
“Please baby, let me…” I reached out again but she just held up her hand. She
wiped her face and controlled herself, then looked up at me.

“He treated me like a dog. He made me serve him on my hands
and knees.” I cringed thinking what she meant by serve.

“He wanted us to be the way that you and I are together. He
wanted what we have…with me.” I was starting to understand. “He thought he
could break me….make me love him.” She took a deep breath. “He kept me locked
away like you did in the beginning. He took me to parties and clubs, like the
ones you told me you went to together,” she paused. I cringed thinking of the
kinds of parties Nick and I use to attend. I never wanted Norah to be subjected
to that kind of life. I had corrupted her enough with my lifestyle. “He asked
me to do small things, like sleep in the bed with him…just sleep. Or kiss him
on the mouth.” She moved to the other side of the window. “And when I would
tell him no, I paid the price.” She held out her wrists to me and I saw
horrible scars on them. I sunk to my knees. “Every night he would tell me that
if I submit to him it would all be over. He would tell me how much he wanted us
to be together and how much he cared for me. He told me how my life would be
with him if I would just give in.” She took in a ragged breath.

“But I told him I could never be with him the way I was with
you.” I couldn’t take it anymore and put my head in my hands. She had willingly
taken torture because she loved me. Because of me she was put in pain….again. “Ask
me what you want to know, Liam?” I still couldn’t look at her so I shook my
head. “Ask me the question you are dying to know, Liam.” I was a selfish man
and the first one to admit it, but even I couldn’t force myself to ask her the
question. I looked up at her, but before I could say anything she answered the
question.

“No.” I cried harder and let out a broken breath. “He didn’t
rape me, nor did he make me do anything to him.” I covered my head again and
ran my hands over my hair. “I knew you would find me, Liam…and I knew I could
take whatever punishment he gave me until you did.” She was quiet for a while
and all I could hear was the sound of my own crying. I felt her hands on my
hands and her knees were touching my knees. We entwined our fingers.

She put one hand on my cheek and silently asked me to sit
up. “I can’t.” I whispered. “I can’t look at you after everything I have done,
after everything I have put you through. This happened because of me. I told
you I would protect you, and I didn’t, Norah. I can’t look at you.” She rubbed
the back of my head.

“Yes you can, Liam. Because everything that happened before
I forgave you for a long time ago…..and him taking me wasn’t your fault. Now
look at me. Look at me because I need to see you. I need to see your face to
see if you still love me. Because after all of this, I still love you.” I
slowly raised my head and wiped the tears from my face. We sat back both on our
heels just looking at each other. She reached out and wiped some of the tears
from my face, and I took her hand and kissed it.

“How could you think I don’t love you anymore, little one?
You are the only woman I have ever loved or will ever love, don’t you know
that?” She nodded. “Can I please hold you now?” She nodded again and we both
moved to our knees. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hers went around my
neck. We pulled closer to each other like we couldn’t get close enough. “I love
you so much, Norah.” She exhaled and relaxed for the first time around me in 2 months.
“I love you too,” she whispered.

We held each other for so long my
knees started to hurt, but I didn’t want to let him go. I had missed his touch,
I had missed his comfort, I felt safe in his arms and I had missed that.

“I’m so tired, I haven’t slept well in two months,” he said.
We leaned away from each other and both looked down at the floor. He took my
chin and lifted my face to his and lightly kissed me on the lips. “Please stay
with me tonight,” he breathed near my mouth. We both stood up and he took my hand.

 I hadn’t agreed to stay with him, but I knew I didn’t have
to either. We both needed each other tonight. He kissed my hand and then turned
to walk towards the door. As we made it to his room I stopped. He turned back
to face me. I took my hand from his and started to pick at my nails.

“I’m scared, Liam.” I looked back at him and gestured toward
the bed. “I’m scared I can’t do that right now,” my voice was quiet and small.
It reminded me of how I talked to him when we first met. He stepped directly in
front of me and touched my face with both of his hands.

“I don’t expect anything from you tonight. I just want you
in my bed. I need to feel you next to me. Please, Norah, I can’t sleep without
you.” I lowered my eyes and nodded my head to him. We walked to the bed and
crawled in on our respective sides.

He instantly moved to the middle of our gigantic bed and
tried to pull me to him. I sat beside him and put my hands in my lap.

“I have to warn you, I’ve been having nightmares for a while
now. I wake up screaming and all sweaty.” I turned back to look at him thinking
he would make a joke about making me all sweaty and giving me another reason to
scream. But he didn’t. He took my right hand and squeezed it.

“I know, Norah. I’ve heard you. I’ve wanted to come to you
every night, but I didn’t think you would want me.” He took a deep breath.
“I’ve been having bad dreams too.” I didn’t know that. I knew he wasn’t
sleeping well. He looked tired all the time, and I had caught him napping in
his study a few times. “I keep having the same dream over and over.” He leaned
up and looked away from me. “I’m walking through the house alone, looking for
you, but I can’t find you. I run outside, all over the yard, and you’re not
there. Somehow I get to the office and walk around the building, but I can’t
find you.” Then he looked back at me. “But the worst part of the dream is……I
can hear you.” He took a deep breath and I could see tears building in his
eyes. “I can hear you screaming for me the whole time, but I can’t find you,”
he sounded desperate. I touched his face.

“I’m right here,” I said and he leaned into my hand. We laid
back on the pillows and I put my head on his chest. I think we were both asleep
in a matter of minutes. Neither of us had been sleeping well without each
other. My body had been tense for months and my mind couldn’t stop thinking.
Just lying there in his arms, I relaxed both my body and mind. Suddenly after
months of not being able to turn off the noise in my head, everything was
quiet. I took a few deep breathes. He smelled amazing. He always smelled so
masculine. His scent was a mixture of his ‘old English’ body wash and cocoa
butter. We both got a solid six hours of sleep before the sun started to creep
through the curtains.

Things were finally getting back to
normal. I was back at work, we were talking and touching again. She left the
house whenever she wanted to and even met friends from the Library and Jane for
lunch every now and then. She laid in the sun, swam in the pool and we even had
margaritas with dinner. The end of the summer was approaching and I was happier
than I had been in a very long time.

“What are you doing in here? You’re going to be late.” I was
shuffling through my sock drawer with a towel around my waist. I smiled at her.
“You know, you look very sexy in that towel, sir. It makes me think that what
you have under it might be even sexier.” She was grinning. I leaned my head
back and her hands ran down my chest.

“Well, little one, if you keep touching me like that I may
just have to show you what’s under my towel.” I hummed while she continued to
touch me. “Ahh, Norah…you need to stop. I’m a grown man and know how to
restrain myself, and I think I do a pretty good job, but even a man with my
restraint can lose it when a beautiful woman is touching him like this.” She
moved her hands to my shoulders and turned me around to face her.

“Maybe I don’t want you to restrain yourself anymore.” I
smiled and moved closer to her. “Really? You think you’re ready?” She gave me a
chaste kiss and nodded. “I think tonight is your lucky night, sir.” I kissed
her deeply and then looked at my watch.

“I say, I’ve got like 20 minutes before I need to leave for
work. I can be a lucky man right now.” I picked her up and tickled her walking
back to the bed. I laid her on her back and started kissing her neck and
touching her body.

“Liam…Liam…no, not like this. We don’t have time. I want you
to take your time and for it to be special.” She was laughing and wiggling all
around.

“Oh come on, I can be very fast, trust me, and you won’t
feel a thing, I promise. It will be very special.” I kept tickling her until I
had to stop or lose my towel. I covered her body and kissed her a few more
times.

“Tonight sounds perfect. I have something I have wanted to
talk about with you for a while now anyway.” I kissed her again.

“Good. I’ll make a nice dinner…and I have something I want
to discuss with you too.” It took an amount of restraint I didn’t know I had to
move off of her, but somehow I managed it. I went back to my sock drawer and
found the little black velvet box I had purchased so many weeks ago.

***

I didn’t know what it was but
something smelled fantastic. I walked in the dining room and Norah was lighting
candles on the table next to a large arrangement of flowers. She was wearing
the same simple black dress she wore the night of our first dinner together. It
was perfect for this occasion. I reached down to my leg and made sure the box
was still there. I didn’t know why but I was nervous. After everything we had
been through, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But after
what I had put her through, I wasn’t sure if she wanted to be with me. A lot of
things had happened to her since she had been with me. She might be worried for
her safety if she stayed with me. I was not sure her answer would be yes.

We ate dinner and kept looking up and smiling at each other.
She had made a roasted corn salsa soup, a mixed green salad with an avocado
dressing, grilled salmon, and rice pilaf.

“Your cooking skills haven’t diminished one bit, Norah. This
is delicious.” She cleared our plates and brought out a chocolate cake.

“This is a chocolate, raspberry cake. It’s a new recipe. I
looked it up today, but it smells wonderful. So I hope it tastes good.”

“I’m sure it will be just as wonderful as it smells.” She
cut into it and served me first. I took a bite and it melted in my mouth. “So
do you want to go first or do you want me to go first?” she asked and it
shocked me. I wasn’t use to pressure but I felt it. My heart started beating
fast and I pushed the cake away from me. “You don’t like it?” she asked. I took
her hand in mine. “Oh no, it’s great, just great. I’m just a little…a little
nervous.” She took a bite of her cake then spoke to me with her mouth full.
“Why are you nervous?” she laughed and covered her mouth. I handed her a napkin
and caressed her fingers when I touched her. I cleared my throat.

“Norah, I love you so much. When I say you are the best
thing that ever happened to me, it isn’t a cliché. It’s true. I’ve never met a
woman like you in my entire life. You captured my heart the first time we had
dinner in this room, and probably before that. I think I have been in love with
you since the first time I touched you. Watching you stand in the room on my
yacht moving your hair from your neck and seeing your tattoo.” I took a breath
thinking about that moment. “I hoped with all my heart that you would love me
too. That somehow you would be able to find a way to forgive me and that we
could make it work. I have never been so happy in all my life. I’ve asked you
this question before, but this time, I want you to know I am very serious.” I
took the box out of my pocket and I stood up, and then kneeled in front of her.
I opened the box and took her hand in mine. “Norah, I can’t imagine my life
without you. I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?” I could feel the
tears building in my eyes.

She took her hand away from mine and wiped the tears from
her face. She started nodding and had a big smile on her face. “Is that a yes?”
I asked.

She laughed and took my face in her hands. “Yes. Of course,
yes! I will marry you!” We leaned into each other and kissed passionately. “Oh,
thank you, baby. I love you so much!” I gasped in between kisses. I pulled away
and took her hand again and put the ring on it. I kissed her hand and brought
it to my cheek. “What did you want to talk about?” I was still smiling.

“I want to go back to work.” My smiled dropped.

“No.” I stood up, sat back in my chair, and took a sip of my
wine.

“What do you mean, no?” she asked.

“The word is self-explanatory, Norah. But if you need me to
say it out loud, I will. No you may not go back to work.”

“Why?” as if she didn’t know why.

“You know why, Norah, don’t play dumb. I am not risking
you’re safety ever again.” I took another sip of wine.

“You actually think Nick would try it again?”

“No. I don’t think he’s that stupid…and don’t say his name
to me again.” I stood up and walked over the buffet table to pour more wine.

“Then why? Why are you still acting like a caveman?” She
stood up and had her hands on her hips.

“Because I am a caveman, dammit! You know that about me! Why
are you acting like you don’t? I say you can’t work, then you can’t work and
that’s the end of the conversation!” I made myself a harder drink this time and
drank it down fast.

“You think I’m going to do what you want just because I said
I would marry you?” she yelled.

“No. I think you’ll do what I want because I said it!” I
leaned on my hands over the table toward her.

“What if I got another job? Something closer to you,
somewhere you could check on me?” she was really trying.

“No.”

“So what’s your plan, Liam? You think you can just leave me
in this house all the time? I’ll take this ring off right now, because that
isn’t gonna happen!” I held up my hand to stop her from taking the ring off.

“Okay, okay, stop. Don’t take it off, please. We can work it
out.” I walked around the table to her. “I have an idea.” I touched her
shoulders. “I have a company. An event planning business, ironically.” I tilted
my head. “It hasn’t been doing well, and I was going to sell it.” I took a deep
breath. “But what if I gave it to you?” I asked.

“Give it to me?” she repeated.

“Yes. I will give it to you, the future Mrs. Hastings.” I
moved some hair off her shoulder and gave her a chaste kiss.

“I’ll give it to you and it will be yours. You can plan
parties until your heart is content. The office is right across the street from
my building and….I can hire spies to keep track of you.” I laughed.

“Are you kidding?” she asked.

“About the spies…yes. About the company…no.” I paused and
held her shoulders tight. “But John will be there with you and I will hire you
another bodyguard.” Before she could object. “Not forever, just to make me feel
better. I won’t be able to work if I don’t know you’re safe.” She nodded.

“Okay. As long as it’s not forever.”

I stood at the end of the bed
admiring my amazing engagement ring. Liam walked out slowly in his boxer briefs
with his predatory eyes. He grabbed me and pulled me to him kissing me like he
hadn’t kissed me in weeks. And I guess he hadn’t, not like this. He pulled away
and quickly pulled the nightgown over my head. We pressed against each other
and crawled on the bed. Me in the crab position and him crawling over me. He
moved his mouth to my neck, down my shoulder to my chest. I ran my hands down
his back and pulled him closer, then I moved them around to his manhood and he
groaned in my mouth. I rubbed him feeling him harden and lengthen. He rolled so
I was on top of him and I pulled his shorts off. I licked him as I made my way
back up his body. I took my time around his navel and sides, because I know he
loves it. He moaned and moved his head back and forth. Then he grabbed my
shoulders and pulled me to his mouth.

“I love you so much, baby. I’ve missed you so much.” I
straddled him and tangled my hands in his hair. “Ride me, baby. I need to feel
you.” I settled on him and he held me on him without letting me move for a
moment. “Good lord, I forgot how good you feel.” He nestled my neck and made
his humming noise as I slowly started to move. Our hands were all over each
other. Our mouths licked and sucked every place we could find. He gripped my
hips and twisted to his knees and then covered my body. He pumped inside me a
few more times and we rolled again so I was back on top. He laid back as I
moved my hips.

“Ah, shit…I told you I would be fast, little one.” He rolled
on top of me and thrust harder and harder. “I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come
baby.” I moved my hips against his faster and faster.

I arched my back and let my release take over. I moaned and
pulled his butt against me. He groaned louder and harder than I have ever heard
before.

“Damn, I hope your birth control still works, my future
wife.” He leaned back and touched my face. “My future wife. Mrs. Norah
Hastings.” He kissed me. “You’re really gonna marry me, Norah?”

“Yes, Liam. I’m really gonna marry you. And our wedding will
be the first event I plan in my event planning business.”