Conflicted Innocence (4 page)

“Go and get the cakes. They’re in a bag on the side. You take your pick which one you want—I don’t mind either.”

She didn’t need telling twice. Choosing the jam and cream filled donut, she returned to the same spot on the floor.

“So, have you had a chance to think about what you want to do?”

She nodded, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I like the idea of what you said last night. To get a job and eventually a place of my own would be cool.”

“And in the meantime? Is there anybody who could take you in?”

“Can’t I stay with you? I’d help you do this place up. I’m a good worker.”

“I know you are, but it’s out of the question I’m afraid.”

The hooded eyes suddenly returned. “I thought you wanted to help me. But no, you’re just like all the rest.” She threw the half-eaten donut, cream side down, onto the floorboards and got to her feet.

“Susie, wait. It’s not that simple.” He followed her back outside where she pulled out another dog-eared rollup from her pocket and proceeded to light it.

She leaned against the side fence and looked away.

He felt awful for upsetting her. He’d been gaining her trust, but now they were back to the hostilities of last night. “I do want to help you, Susie. It’s just that... well, it’s complicated.”

“Where have I heard that before?”

“I don’t know, but it’s true. I do intend to help you, though. Depending on how well you manage with the swearing, we could do with a hand at my office. The pay won’t be great, and it’ll be a bit of everything, from answering the phone to making tea, but it’ll be alright to start off with.”

She squealed and launched herself at him, kissing him full on the lips.

Although surprised by her actions, he didn’t pull away at first. It had been such a long time since someone had kissed him like that, and he could still taste the donut, tainted by the disgusting smell of tobacco. However, he was ashamed to say, he actually enjoyed it. He soon came to his senses and, holding her by the upper arms, he gently pushed her away and cleared his throat.

“Okay, now I’m not promising anything at this stage. Don’t forget, you’re still on trial.”

She almost sprinted inside. “What shall I do next, boss?”

Chapter 6

“I still can’t get hold of him. His phone is going straight to voicemail,” James said, ending the call on his mobile for what appeared to be the fiftieth time since yesterday afternoon.

“Maybe the cottage is out of range?” I volunteered, and turned back to feeding Grace her breakfast.

“Can’t be. I’ve spoken to him lots of times when he’s been there. He said he was wallpapering when he got the call from the prison.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know then.”

“We could run over there when I get back from work?”

“It’s up to you.”

“Okay, well I won’t be late home. I’m hoping Lee’s still got the agency taking his appointments. I don’t want to end up being an unpaid secretary all day.”

“An agency working for an agency?” I asked with a frown.

“Yes. It’s pretty common I hear.”

We kissed, and I had another mini panic attack.

James sensed this. “Hey, you’ll be fine. You and Gracie will have a wonderful time exploring. And we’ll start looking for a car for you later on.”

“Okay. Have a good day, and we’ll see you later.” I plucked Grace from her highchair and followed him to the door to wave him off.

Once he’d turned at the end of the road, a feeling of desolation came over me.

“Well, come on then, Missie-moo. Any suggestions what we should do?” I asked, as I closed the front door.

Grace babbled.

“I see. The park it is, then. Let’s get changed and we can go exploring.”

It wasn’t long before I’d cleaned up the breakfast dishes and dressed us both ready for the off.

Grace was excited, as if she knew where we were going.

As we passed Lee’s house, a feeling of grief washed over me. I hadn’t been able to shake off the sadness after learning what had happed to Lydia and her poor little son. And now, the house I first thought looked inviting and well cared for, suddenly seemed dark and sinister. I shuddered and looked away.

The street was pretty, as residential streets go. There was a grass verge in between the road and the footpath, broken outside every property by a concrete drive. Each section of grass had an established oak tree, which had clearly been there long before the road and pavement had been laid.

The sun was shining, and the wind had died down from last night’s terrible storm. A couple of the neighbours waved and a few curtains twitched as I passed, probably wondering who the strange woman was who came out of the famous crime writer’s house.

We turned the corner and crossed the road to the store where I picked up the local newspaper from the stand.

“How are you settling in?” The woman behind the counter must have recognised me from the other day.

“Oh, yeah, good thanks.”

“Where did you live before?”

“Cumbria.” I didn’t mention the years I’d lived in Manchester with Simon.

“I love Cumbria. I stayed with my aunt in Bowness-on-Windermere when I was a girl and vowed to return one day.”

“Yeah, it’s lovely there. We lived further north than that, in a small village not quite as popular with tourists.”

“Ah, yes. It was overrun with tourists and I’m talking...” she looked up to the ceiling and tapped a pen on her chin, “...gosh, it must be fifty years ago now.”

“Probably hasn’t changed much, to be honest. You should go back—fifty years is a long time.”

“You know, you’re right. My Craig’s been trying to talk me into a holiday. But with all the airport security and terrorism in the world nowadays, it fair puts you off travelling. I never thought about holidaying in our own country.”

“Oh, you should. There are some lovely places. I’m like you. I think holidaying abroad is overrated.”

Grace began to fidget.

“I’d best be off. Just this, please.” I placed the newspaper on the counter.

“Good idea. You’ll find lots of classes and ways to meet people in there.”

“It’s a job I want. Just a few hours a day once I get Missie-moo in a day-nursery.”

“Really?” she said, walking around the counter. “Do you believe in fate?”

“Eh?” I looked at her as though she’d lost her marbles.

“Two minutes before you arrived, I put a card in the window.” She pulled a piece of yellow card off the back of the door and handed it to me.

Part Time Vacancy

Part-time salesperson wanted for three afternoons a week.

ENQUIRE WITHIN

“Here?” I asked.

“Yes. I need someone to help out when we get our deliveries. What do you reckon?” She looked as though she might burst with excitement.

“Yes. How do I apply?”

She blew a raspberry. “I’m offering you the job. If you want it, of course?”

“Yes. I want it. But are you sure? Don’t you want to check references or anything?”

“Positive. I go off my gut, and I can tell you’ll fit in nicely here.” She held her hand out. “I’m Erica.”

Grace, sick of sitting in her pushchair facing a stack of crisp boxes, began to scream the place down.

“I’ll have to go. When do you want me to start as I need to enrol Grace into a nursery?”

“Tell you what, you pop in when you get her enrolled. The afternoons I need cover for are Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, and maybe the odd morning here and there.”

“Great. I’ll get onto it today. And thanks so much, I won’t let you down.”

*

On the way back from the playground, Grace fell sound asleep.

Thrilled with the morning’s developments, I couldn’t wait to tell James I’d bagged myself a job. So it wasn’t the job of the century, but it was exactly what I needed to get me out meeting new people.

But my stomach dropped to my feet when the crazy old man from the other day appeared and began walking towards me. I contemplated running away, but I couldn’t. We lived in the same street, for God’s sake. I could hardly run away every time I bumped into him. So, I gripped the pushchair handles tight and urged myself forward.

I braced myself for some abuse, either verbal or physical, but the man didn’t even glance in my direction.

He shuffled along the verge peering into the road. Then he stopped and picked up a discarded cigarette butt, putting it into his mouth a couple of times before sticking it behind his ear.

Finally allowing myself to breathe, I laughed at how much one little old man was able to terrify me. I shook from head to toe with the jitters.

I was at the gate before I realised he was behind me again, and I almost died on the spot.

“Lots of daddies. Lucky, lucky girl,” he said, without turning to face me.

A cold shiver ran through my body. How would he know Grace had lots of daddies? It was something I joked about to family, but I’d barely spoken to anyone since I arrived. I watched as the man shuffled to the next gate and up the path to the rather shabby house next door.

I shook my head, relieved, much preferring the ramblings of a mad man than having him spitting and hurling abuse at me, any day.

The phone rang as I walked through the door. I left Grace, snoring softly, in the hallway and ran to answer it.

“Hello, gorgeous. Thank goodness you’re okay. I’ve been ringing for ages,” James said.

“Hi. I’m sorry, I forgot to take my mobile. Is something wrong?”

“No. Nothing at all. I was just checking how you are. I sensed you were a little freaked out this morning.”

“I’m fine. And guess what?”

“What?”

“Don’t sound so worried. It’s a good thing.”

“Go on. Spit it out.”

“I found a job. Obviously, I need to arrange childcare for Grace, but Erica said I can start as soon as I do. Just three afternoons a week so it shouldn’t interfere with us. Are you laughing?”

“Take a breath, woman. So, I take it you’ve got a job in the store. That’s great, and Erica is hard case. You’ll love her.”

“I know. I’ll call the nursery this afternoon. Gracie’s fast asleep in her pushchair right now. She’s had a great time on that bloody swing again. She screamed blue murder when I took her off after almost an hour. My arms are aching.”

James chuckled. “She’s funny. I’ve never seen her like that before.”

“I know. Oh, and I had another run in with the crazy old man.”

“Oh no. What did Thomas do this time.”

“Nothing really. He’s odd and gives me the heebie-jeebies, but all he did was make a comment. I wouldn’t even know if it had been directed at me except for what he said.”

“And that was?”

“Something about Grace being a lucky girl for having lots of daddies. Have you told anybody?”

“No. Maybe he saw us all the other day when Simon and Kevin arrived?”

“No, that can’t be it. Remember, we bumped into him moments before, and he was at the
end
of the street.”

“Strange. But it’s not a major—so long as he didn’t upset you again.” He paused. “Oh, my mobile’s ringing. It’s Lee. I’ll call you back in a sec.”

I ran to the bathroom and then filled the kettle before the phone rang again.

“Hey,” I said.

“His phone had died, you were right.”

“Is he okay?”

“Yes. He’s coming back tomorrow night. He has to pick Lydia up in London on Wednesday morning. I thought he’d go over on Tuesday night and stay in a B&B, but he plans to leave early Wednesday morning instead. It should only take around two and a half hours to get there, so long as there’s no traffic.”

“What did he say about the house?”

“He hasn’t had much luck with any contractors, and he thinks he’ll have no choice but to bring her back here. I told him we would give it a once over before then and he’s grateful.”

I shuddered at the thought of going in Lee’s house, but I knew I was being silly. It was just a house.

“Okay, what’s the plan?”

“I’ll be home early and we can go and have a look at what needs doing if you like? Knowing Lee, it won’t be much, he’s pretty tidy.”

The rest of the day flew by. I called the local nursery and made an appointment for tomorrow morning, then busied myself unpacking some more of my boxes. When James got home, Grace was playing with her toys in her playpen—I was knee deep in photographs and bawling my eyes out.

“Hey, what’s brought all this on?” James said, sliding to the floor beside me.

I handed him a photograph of my beautiful mum and dad, taken a couple of years ago at some posh dinner they’d been to. Mum looked stunning in a cream sequined top, and full-length brown silk skirt and Dad wore his tuxedo. They were gazing into each other’s eyes and the photo had captured just how much in love they were.

“They look so happy,” he said.

“They were. And now she’s gone—just like that.” I clicked my fingers, as tears poured down my cheeks. “It’s as though she never even existed. A few photos are all we have left.”

“That isn’t true. She lives on in you—her beautiful, spirited and amazing daughter. Not forgetting her gorgeous little namesake, Grace.”

“Do you think so?”

“I know so, you silly thing. You’re just like she was.” He pulled me into his arms, and I sobbed some more.

Half an hour later, I began putting the photographs back in the box.

“We’ll just have this and then go and check out next door, shall we?” he said, placing a cup of tea in front of me.

“Yes. Although it will seem odd going through someone else’s stuff.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want. I’ll do it.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ll not leave you to do it alone. Did he say if he’s definitely bringing her back here?”

“No. He said he’d give her the choice. The cottage is far from finished, but he’s been staying there at the weekend with no trouble. But who knows, she may insist on coming back here.”

We finished our drinks and I got to my feet. “Come on, then. Let’s go.” I walked through to the kitchen to rinse the cups under the tap. When I got back, James had Grace in his arms and was waiting for me by the front door.

I don’t know why, but I felt jittery, just like I had when I realised mad Thomas was behind me earlier. We walked down our path and out onto the street, just to come all the way back down Lee’s path, not two feet from our front door.

“We always said we should make a gate in the fence,” James said, “but we never got around to it.”

“Makes sense if you’re in and out a lot.”

James pulled out a bunch of keys from his pocket.

“I feel like a burglar,” I said, glancing around.

James laughed. “You look as guilty as sin. Come on in. We’re doing nothing wrong.”

I followed him inside. The layout was the same as next door except the opposite way around. As James had predicted, the house was clean and tidy.

“I think we need to have him come to our place instead and give it the once over,” I said, amazed.