Confessions of a Queen B* (24 page)

I was exhausted, and I knew if I took him back to my place, I wouldn’t be able to say no to my hormones if he tried to kiss me again. And if he was willing to be seen waiting outside the principal’s office for me, maybe I would be willing to be seen in public with him. “We can do a lap around the football field, if you want.”

“You do realize that people will see us—together—outside of class?”

“Yeah, I think I can risk it this one time.”

Something faded from his eyes. He actually looked disappointed when I didn’t suggest we go back to my house. But as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. “Sure.”

We crossed the campus to the stadium. Groups of students hung out on the bleachers, enjoying the mid-September sunshine while they could. Brett and I drew their attention as we approached, but no one bothered us. I expected to feel awkward or paranoid from all the eyes on us, but walking with Brett felt comfortable, natural.

Right, like we belonged together.

Yeah, I’d fallen for him.

Hard.

But I was still too proud to admit it. Just call me Mr. Darcy.

We were halfway around the field before I finally asked, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“You didn’t name him,” he said quietly, staring at the ground.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why?”

I gave him a wry smile. “Maybe I decided to give this compassion thing a try, see if it makes me happier.”

He looked up, mirroring my expression. “I’m glad you did.”

“I can’t go making a habit of it, though. I mean, if word gets out that I was actually, you know,
nice
, no one would respect me anymore.”

“Heaven forbid,” he teased.

“Besides, I only did it out of self-preservation. I didn’t want that kid going postal on us or doing anything drastic.”

“What you’re trying to say is that you did the right thing to protect him.”

“And believe me, it was harder than I thought it would be, especially with Principal Lee threatening me with suspension for my article.”

A line formed between Brett’s brows. “Was that why he wanted to see you?”

“Yeah, he wanted names.”

He drew to a stop, the corners of his mouth tilting down. “And what did you tell him?”

“Don’t worry, Superman, this Lois Lane didn’t reveal your secret identity. I made him promise to treat Adam with care and not blow things out of proportion. As soon as I gave him the name, he seemed to understand where I was coming from.”

Brett nodded once, swallowing hard in the process and making me wonder again what he’d accidentally read. He resumed walking. “So you did this purely to save yourself?”

I rocked back and forth on my feet, creating an opportunity to bump into him. “Well, maybe I did it as a favor to you, too.”

“You did a favor for me?”

“You asked me so nicely last night.”

He chuckled and went back to looking at the ground, his thumbs running up and down the straps of his backpack. “You know, I wasn’t asked to switch names with you. I’m the one who asked to switch.”

I ambled along a few steps, trying to swallow past the jumble of emotions that suddenly clogged my throat. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to get to know you better. And I’m glad I did. You’re actually kind of cool.”

“You’re just now realizing that?”

My quip helped break some of the tension, and we stopped at the far corner of the field near the scoreboard. It offered us some protection from prying eyes, which I welcomed.

Brett turned to face me. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”

I set my messenger bag down on the grass. Something told me we were going to be here for a while. “I never make anything easy for anybody.”

“No shit.” He kicked at the ground. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but there’s a definite chemistry between us.”

My stomach knotted. “You mean what happened in the janitor’s closet?”

“And my bedroom.”

“And I bet you were hoping we could continue to hook up?”

“Yes—I mean, no—” He slung his backpack on the ground again and moved toward me.

My head swam, and warning bells went off. I backed away before he kissed me in front of everyone in the school. It was one thing to suffer temporary insanity behind closed doors. It was an entirely different thing to lose it on campus where other students could see us, even if the scoreboard was partially concealing us. “Stop, Brett, please.”

My voice sounded high, strained, panicked.

But it had the desired effect. He froze right where he was. Then his face hardened. “Damn it, Lexi, what is your problem?”

“This is my problem.” I pointed to the buildings of the school, sweeping my finger across the campus at all the students. “If someone saw us kissing, do you realize what a field day they’d have with it?”

“So?”

“Well, then forget the student body in general. What would Summer do? Sanchez? The rest of the team? Do you realize how much shit they’d give you for being with me?”

“I can handle them.” He took another step toward me, but I retreated. “Scared?”

“No, but I don’t need the extra headache.”

“Bullshit.” He crossed his arms, growing more distant.

And as much as my heart ached to witness the change in him, my mind rejoiced. I’d keep pushing him away. It was best for both of us.

“Why are you afraid to admit you have a thing for me?” he asked.

I wanted to lie and say I didn’t, but there was too much evidence against me. He’d seen how I responded to his touch, to his kiss. He knew the difference between my furious face and my flustered face, and he knew how easily I melted into his arms.

I leaned back against the scoreboard and sighed. “Fine, I admit I have a thing for you. I’ll go as far as to admit that I really like kissing you.”

“Then why are you acting this way?”

“Because when we’re together, it’s too intense, too hot. It’s like throwing a lighted match into a warehouse full of fireworks—one big, beautiful explosion that will leave nothing but ashes once the smoke clears.” I paused then added, “And I don’t want to do that to you.”

“Who says it has to end that way?” He tilted my chin up until my eyes locked with his. “I’m willing to chance it if you are.”

“Do you realize what you’re saying?”

He nodded, his expression soft yet serious. “I really like you, Lexi. You’ve always intrigued me. That’s why I offered to switch names with the person who drew yours. I wanted to get to know you, to spend time with you.”

I turned away before I crumbled under his sweet words, before he saw the tears gathering in my eyes. “I’m not ready to take that step, Brett.”

His hands fell to his side, and the ache returned to my chest. I doubted any other girl in school would’ve turned Brett down, but that wasn’t who I was. I was hard. I was cruel. I didn’t let people get to me. I was the Queen B.

And at the moment, I hated being that.

So much, that I took his hand in mine before he drifted too far away. “I’m sorry, Brett, but I need time to get my head around all this.”

He didn’t have to say he thought I was a coward. I saw it in his eyes.

I tightened my grip on his hand. “Please?”

“So what are you suggesting?”

“That we start by being friends.”

One dark brow rose. “Friends?”

I nodded.

“You know that’s the nice way of softening a brush-off, Lexi.”

The corners of my mouth twitched. “Maybe for other girls, but I’m not like them.”

“You’re not kidding,” he said with a grin. “But I’m willing to try it.”

The warmth returned between us, his fingers squeezing mine. “You know, it’s quite an honor to be one of my friends. You’ve joined an elite group.”

“Just promise me I won’t have to watch any of Richard’s cheerleading routines.”

I laughed and then looked down to where our fingers were still entwined. My breath hitched. I forced myself to untangle my hand from his. “We should start moving before the gossip mill starts spinning.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” He picked up my bag and handed it to me as we resumed our course around the field. “Although I meant what I said—I’m willing to chance it if you are.”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time my hormones get the better of me and demand a hookup.”

“Drag me into the janitor’s closet anytime you want, Lexi. Maybe then I can convince you how good we could be together.”

“You are so full of yourself.” But deep inside, I hoped he would. My lips already tingled at the thought of another make out session.

“So, are you going to come to the game tonight?”

“Keep dreaming.”

“Not even to cheer for one of your friends?”

I grinned. “Nope.”

We’d barely reached the edge of the field before Summer and her entourage (which included my sister) surrounded us. She looped her arm through Brett’s, letting her minions push me to the edge of the crowd. “There you are, Brett. I’d heard that you were stuck out here with
her
, and I came to rescue you.”

“Scared I’ll steal him away?” I countered, sharing a secret grin with Brett.

“Someone like you doesn’t stand a chance.” She whirled so her skirt flared around her hips, showing off her bronzed legs. “Come along, Brett. You don’t have to hang around her anymore now that your stupid baby project’s done.”

A dozen comebacks sat poised on my tongue, most of them revolving around Summer’s silicone parts. They stayed in the recesses of my mind, ready for another day. I already knew I had the upper hand. Let her live in her delusions a bit longer.

Brett offered a wave from the center of the cheerleading squad. “See you around, Lexi.”

I saluted him and strolled off in the opposite direction. I was Queen B, after all. I wasn’t about to give that title up.

But I was willing to try something new, including being friends with a guy I used to think was the epitome of everything I was against. Turns out I might have been wrong about him. And since this was my final year of the level of hell Dante missed, I might as well have a good time dancing in the flames.

As soon as I got to my car, I pulled out my phone and dialed one of the few numbers I had on speed dial. “Hey, Richard, do you need a ride to the football game tonight?”

I wasn’t finished with Brett Pederson.