Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) (8 page)

"He was murdered." I spill out.

Her frame stills at the window before she turns slowly to face me, her voice is a whisper. "What?"

"He was murdered." I repeat, this time my voice is low. Elise’s pale face is causing me anxiety. Should I have kept my mouth shut?

"Who told you that?"

"My mom, earlier today. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. Why would she lie to me this whole time?"

"Is that what my dad was arguing with you about?"

I shake my head quickly.
"No, but when I mentioned it, he face told me... he knew."

Elise
carefully sits back down onto the bed, looking into the distance.

"Why would she say something like that all of a sudden? Did your mom say who did it and how?"

"No. As quick as it came out of her mouth it was like she instantly knew she shouldn't have said it. She then told me she was lying and that she didn’t know why she would say something like that, then she went all hysterical. I’ve never seen her like that before."

Elise narrows her eyes looking apprehe
nsive. "I don't like this Olivia. Why would they want to keep something like that from you? I don’t understand, why lie all these years?"

I know Elise's mind is
over thinking about this. She doesn’t look at me when she speaks, but looks into space, with her eyes are looking shut down.

"Elise? You don’t think they know who did it do you?"

"Oh they know, whether they are going to tell you or not though, is a different story."

Chapter Seven*

Last night all my body was subjected to was tossing and turning. There was way too much on my mind and I just couldn’t sleep.

Maybe it was because I’m in a different environment or maybe it's the fact I can't get that dammed Calvin Blake out of my head, or my mom telling me my real dad was murdered and keeping it from me for so long. Or that and my step dad contin
ues to threaten me. Why the hell did he have blood all over him?

All I can call this is emotional torture and I wouldn't wish this on anybody.

Well, maybe Georgia.

I reach for my bag, getting my iPod out and plug in my earphones.

Why do I have the morbid urge to listen to sad songs? Why would I want that when I want to forget? But deep inside I don't want to forget. I don’t want to accept the unacceptable.

My play-list turns into Adele make you feel my love. Could this be any worse? I don't get why I would want to put myself through this, in a way it's a little therapeutic to me. Crazy I know but is anything sane in my life anymore?

Most of the next day I mope about Elise's home, in my gray sweat pants and my hooded Hollister jumper.

Elise and Dante are at work so being all by myself is pleasantly relaxing. Telling Elise to go to work like normal though, was a task in itself. She wanted to take the day off to be with me but I insisted she go. Why should her life stop just because mine have?

I lounge around on the sofa all day watching crap TV. When I get bored, I decide to cook pieces of steak that I find and some roasted vegetables ready for when Elise and Dante come home from work. Make myself useful I suppose.

"
Olivia, you didn't have to cook. You’re the guest."

Elise is stunned by my efforts when she walks through the door in her black tight fitted pencil skir
t, black long sleeved shirt, a white blazer and black bandana tied up in a bow around her head. It’s the most normal I’ve ever seen her look. She of course hates her work clothes.

"Candles and everything how romantic."
She teases.

Dante rubs his hands together sitting at the table
, already grabbing at his knife and fork.

I did put candles on the table and all around, only because I need to keep myself busy, and it looks so pretty. I leave them eat by themselves.

After dinner I wash up after fighting with Elise about it, but I won. She has me here so the least I can do is help out.

We sit outside the back yard when it gets dark, swinging lazily on her garden hammock.

The night is so peaceful but cold. We sit in silence just swinging back and forth sipping on our glasses of wine with a giant fluffy throw around us. All there is to be heard is the gentle whistle of the wind, wildlife creatures coming from the wood around us, crickets clicking and owls hooting. It's the most magical sound. I’m falling to sleep until Elise finally breaks the comfortable silence.

"Liv
’s, you can talk to me about anything, you know that don't you? I know how much Calvin has broken your heart and I won’t sit here and tell you it will get better, because, a broken heart is hard to mend. It takes a lot of healing time, sometimes, it never truly fixes after that special someone. You could be married to the man of your dreams one day, but if your heart was shattered by someone you truly loved, it will never go away. A heart forgives, but it never forgets.”

I turn to face her bringing up knees up to my stomach. I know this is going to be deep but please no more tears I can’t take it. I don't want to talk about me, not willingly anyway but I don’t want to shut her down.

“I will never love another man again Elise, it hurts too much, and to think, one person, out of the whole world, could bring you to your knees because of love?”

Elise eyes
soften into empathy. “Love is the most powerful emotion Liv's. Some people might disagree, but love can make people sick, do stupid things and like you said, bring you to your knees, and it’s completely unexplainable.”

We stay silence for a few more moments. I sen
se Elise wants to ask me things. “Liv's, you never really talk about Calvin’s family? What's the deal?”

My heart drops heavily. I rest my head back onto hammock and stare up into the stars
. “His parents were killed, by a brutal gang, all because his mom owed money to a loan shark. She couldn’t pay, his dad fought one of the men and they didn’t like it. They burnt their bodies, and got away with it.”

The high pitch
gasp of Elise's breath forces my eyes closed. I can’t look at her while were on this subject. “And he doesn’t know who they are?”

“No.” I whisper, “He is determined to find them though, and ruin their lives.”

Elise’s silence causes my head to turn. She's staring out into the darkness of the garden. Her face is scrunched from thinking. “What is it?” I inquire.

“No…nothing.” S
he brushes it off.

I turn the conversation, not purposely, on Elise. I think she knew
I have been burrowing questions, and her questions for me right now are too raw.

"Do you really believe Mauricio had something to do with your mom’s accident?"

She looks out into the darkness, and takes a sip of her wine before answering. "I don’t know. I loved my mom dearly. I was old enough to remember when she left, Sophia not so much. I can never get the picture out of my head." She closes her eyes together.

"It hurts everyday having that thought in my mind. All them what ifs, you know, and I resent my dad for taking us away from her. She was the one who left us but it was because of him and he says it was for the best but I just..." she trails off.

I hold her hand for support and stay silent. "I always remember my mom being such a happy bubbly person, just like your mom, and I clearly remember her never being happy when dad was around. I picked up on it, I don't think dad could handle that she didn't love him anymore. I mean, she was stunning, the most beautiful women around back then and he had to have her, just like your mom Olivia. It's like he sucks the life out of women, surly but slowly."

I watch her intrigued. What she's saying is so right, is that what he's doing to my mom? But why now? Has she fallen out of love with him?

Elise spots me absorbing her every word and continues. “She left us because of him. What did he do to her that was so bad that she had to leave? She loved us dearly. It must have taken all her courage to leave. Then all of a sudden she has a car accident? My dad was remorseless and I couldn’t understand it. The only theory I come up with was he had something to do with it but obviously, like I said, through lack of evidence who was I to point the finger to my own father. As you know we’re not allowed to mention her. Sophia doesn’t because he’s poisoned her against our own mom. So she doesn’t want to talk about her anyway which is so sad."

I almost think we’re done on the subject the way her sigh is trembling, and painful. But Elise doesn’t stop there to my surprise.

"The other obvious reason I don’t like my dad is because," she takes a deep breath, as I wait, quite expecting what she's about to say. "He’s an evil, horrible human being when he wants to be. I can't tolerate people like that, even if is he my dad. I wish that I had a better bond with Sophia but I see my dad in her so much. They’re both the same."

I knew she was about to say that, because in this moment, I feel exactly the same. I think I should tell her about what he did to me earlier today. I can’t keep it in any longer.

"You know, he threatened me today."

She darts her eyes
to me as her whole body tenses. "He threatened you? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"It’s not the first time
either, he’s been so cruel to me. It’s not like him at all. It’s so out of character."

Sh
e’s raging, getting out of the hammock and pacing her back yard. I wish I didn't tell her now.

"No Olivia, it's not out of character, it’s
exactly
his character. He's a fucking asshole. Is that what’s been on your mind, amongst other things?"

I look down a
t my fingers knotting in my lap.

"There’s something else though isn’t there? What else has he done to you?" Elise demands I tell her everything.

"Elise I... I don't think Mauricio meant to hit me but he did, maybe I provoked him." I say that not very convincing. The truth is I’m not sure what he's capable of anymore and if I provoked him or not, that is not an excuse.

Even though it’s dark, I can see th
e color drain from Elise’s face. "He hit you?"

"Yeah, we had an argument about Calvin, about the way I’ve been acting, it was such a shock. I didn’t see it coming, his hand come out of nowhere. When Calvin found out of course, he went insane but I made him keep quiet. I didn’t want them arguing. I didn’t want any one finding out."

Elise looks up to the sky in rage. "I can’t believe what I’m hearing. My father hit you? Have you any idea how fucking furious I am right now. How dare he. I’m going to see him, right now, wait until I...”

I stand from the hammock to pull o
n her arm pleading frantically with her. "Please Elise, don’t do or say anything. He will only take it out on me and I can't cope with that right now."

She stays where she is talking with raging hands, features and tone,

"My fucking 'dad' is the most manipulative selfish evil man there is. He uses people into getting whatever he wants, and he won't stop until he gets it. He will eliminate anyone that gets in his way never mind how close they are to him, and now he’s started on you? His own family. And why is that? Because finally you have stuck up for yourself, your standing up to him and he hates it. God, why does everyone get sucked in by this man! Can you see it now?”

"I
never really seen it in him before," I’m annoyed at my naivety, "but the way he's been the last couple of months, it’s scaring me and I don't like it. I don't know what he's capable of. I don’t know who he is anymore. I don't quite get what's changed at home but it's something, and I don't think it's over yet. My mom’s different, she used to be so warm, kind, so alive, now she's nothing like the women I knew. It’s like she is always asking or waiting for Mauricio’s permission to talk or do something. And her views on things, aren’t hers. I know my mom and that women is not her."

Elise strides towards me
and takes firm hold of my hands. "Olivia, you need to get out of there, I don't trust him. I never have. Why do you think I was so eager to get my own place so young? Wanting to find my own way in life and not live in my dad’s shadows. He hates that he can't control me but he'd rather me on board than totally discard of me, but after what you have just told me I couldn't give two fucks if he disregarded me. I rather him out of my life, completely. I can’t stand it anymore. I tried to be civil with the guy for the family’s sake but no more. That man is dead to me.”

I nod wide eyed agreeing with what she’s saying, but would he hurt me? I mean bad?

"Should I be worried? I mean, are they just going through a rough patch? It’ll get back to normal right?" I ask hopeful but I know the real answer deep down.

"You just said it yourself, whatever
is happening it isn't over yet. Stop trying to see the good in people. He's threatened you. He’s even hit you Olivia, Christ. He scares you, you said it yourself and now your mom has distanced herself from you. Why is that? Since when have she ever done that? They argue more than we've ever known,"

She
shakes her head enthralled. "No, there is something more to this, more than just 'bad day at the office'. Olivia, look at me, and please listen to me when I ask you this. I want you to stay well away from him. I love you too much for you to get dragged into whatever is going on. If you don’t want to move down here, maybe start looking for your own place, but please try and stay out of his way."

She seems adamant about this. Elise is never wrong with her gut instincts and the more she speaks about this, the more anxious I’m getting about the situation. I get that he’s acting this way towards me because he’s losing control over me, but if he has been having problems elsewhere, surly he'd take them out of everyone wouldn’t he? Why just me? Has he manipulated my mom into feeling the same way about me? But then that's my mother and she should stand by me no matter what. So why isn’t she?

Who is Mauricio Fahoney?

I’m starting to feel nauseous at the thought. Why haven’t I taken this accusations, these threats seriously? I have so much on my mind. I can’t think straight about anything. I wish I could get my life back on track. The way it was before I met Calvin. Why can't I just get back to me?

Did falling in love mess up my life? I frown at the thought. I was Okay before
Calvin
came along wasn’t I? So why does it feel like I can't live without him now when evidently, I did before him. My life was just beginning, I got on with my parents, I knew what I wanted out of life and now, I question everything I’m about. My parents seem to hate me, hate the 'something' I’ve become. Is this all Calvin’s fault?

I dismiss the idea. I’m being stupid. No, it's my fault. It's all my fault. I let myself fall in love. I let my step dad control my life for so long. I let my parents make choices for me, let them rule my life because I couldn’t see any different.